that I think has a lot of relevance for your dating success
both IMMEDIATELY as well as LONG-TERM.
LETTER:
Hi Michael,
First I would like to thank you for sharing your knowledge
about dating, relationships and that stuff with the rest of
the world. After I broke up with my ex girlfriend, my
friend who read your book advised me to buy it and
read it. So I did so.
It was great! I just could not believe how "stupid" of a
nice guy I was. Being THE MAN is the most powerful
thing that could have happened to me.
And it is only because of you. I broke up with my ex
girlfriend with whom I was almost two years because
I was a nice guy.
I used to buy her things, dinners... everything that nice
guys do. How stupid :)
7 days after we broke up I found a new girl. During those 7
days I read your book, of course.
First I decided to act as THE MAN, as you said, and then it
sank in finally, I actually become THE MAN.
I just can't explain how she is crazy about me. How much I
am desirable to her... sexy... and so on.
And not just that about her... there is so much good about me.
I became stronger! And it is so wonderful.
However... during this time, almost 3 months in this new
relationship, I talked to my new girlfriend about her
relationships, but discreetly. And she told me everything
about that. I also asked her if she ever had a f*&k friend...
and her answer was NO. At least she said so.
But I clearly let her now that if she ever lied to me, it is over.
She is just nothing to me.
Also, indirectly I explained to her that she should be happy
because I am with her....
And what happened now...
Last night some of my friends told me that before
me she had a f**k friend. WTF?
Of course, I didn't believe him because I KNOW her and
we talked about everything, and especially because I know
the girl who told that to my friend and that girl is a b*(ch.
But anyway a small seed of doubt is right now in me.
So I need your advice! Of course even if there was a
f(*k friend, it is just a part of her history. But what is
s(*t about that is that potential f*&k friend is my friend
who didn't tell me anything about that. It even doesn't
look like as my girlfriend and he were ever together...
I am just thinking to ask her to tell me the truth while
I am just totally cool and calm...
Suggest my what to do, please.
Thank you for your time!
Sincerely,
Len K.
MY ANSWER:
Thanks for the props on my book and my materials.
I'm going to get right to the point here:
First of all, you have to watch out what other people say,
because they could just be jealous and trying to ruin what
you have.
Second, you yourself mention that the girl who said this
stuff is a b**ch.
The MOST important thing to understand though is that
even if she DID, it is just a part of her history, exactly as
you said.
You have to understand that for girls, it's REALLY hard in
our society for them to be honest because society judges
them for this stuff like "f**k friend".
ALSO, it may very well have been that she considered
it MORE than a f**k friend but it ended up BECOMING
a "ff" situation.
This is what often happens in real life. Most girls
are not exactly into ffs, because sex is far too
easy for them and therefore it becomes all about
find a guy who is really cool, and THEN they want
him for a relationship. So if you're a cool guy,
you can get a relationship no problem, and the
irony is that the cooler you are, the less needy
you are for one.
But anyway, my point is that what happens is if
the girl feels that her relationship is sinking,
she feels mixed emotions, i.e. bonding emotions
are still there, chemistry might be there but it's
way lower due to things such as lack of trust or
other issues, i.e. the guy NOT being the MAN.
The part of what you say about the potential
"f**k friend" being your friend who didn't tell
you anything about it might be because he feels
weird about talking about it, and like you say it
might not even be true.
I suggest you don't worry about it as long as
your chick is treating you right, and you will find
out ALL the truth anyway in time, ESPECIALLY if
you DO NOT MAKE HER EVER FEEL JUDGED IN
ANY WAY. That way, she can feel that even if
she DID have the guy as a FF, it's cool to tell you
about it. Then, with a smile one day, you can ask
about it in a way that shows you will not get
upset if it is true.
Because in fact, if you are the man, then you
REALLY DON'T CARE, because you KNOW that
YOU are all that she cares about anyway!!!
Remember, what counts is that she is into YOU.
And THIS is the way to KEEP her into YOU.
GETTING a great girl is PART of the challenge,
but then KEEPING her is ALSO part of the skill
as well, and you must not LET anything or
ANYONE screw with your MIND to make you WEAK
or INSECURE.
I'm not saying that you should walk around
with rose-colored glasses, but you should
definitely not walk around with INSECURITY
glasses that end up ruining your LIFE with
women.
And by the way, it's not like people are
always INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt you
or to screw with your mind.
Sometimes, they are just projecting their own
thoughts, and sometimes may GENUINELY
be TRYING to HELP you.
But in the end, YOU have to be the judge,
and it's important to be coming from a place
of STRONG belief in your value and in the
fact that OTHERS see this value, rather than
the REVERSE.
The more you feel your own value, the more you
see how a woman actually feels your value as well.
The more you experience this, the more cool
and more fun you are around women. The more
attracted they get, the better they treat you,
and then you get even MORE secure, and this
starts a never-ending cycle that makes you
infinitely powerful with women.
But alas, if you take the OTHER path,
you start an infinitely NEGATIVE cycle.
So you have to be careful about which
emotional path you want to take.
She got attracted to you because you are
THE MAN, you don't give into insecurities.
VERY few men are like this, ESPECIALLY when
it comes to women, that it really makes
a woman feel LUCKY to be with such a man.
It makes her feel you are super attractive,
because that can be the only explanation
for why you are so secure.
And this is what I mean by being the SUPERIOR one.
The cold hard truth is that we all want someone
BETTER than we feel we 'deserve', and we certainly
don't want LESS than we feel we deserve.
A woman wants the man who is a SUPERIOR 'deal'
than she feels that SHE is worth.
So if a woman feels she is worthy of "x" type
of guy, she wants MORE than she feels she is
worthy of. And she CERTAINLY doesn't want
a guy who is INFERIOR to her.
If you want a woman to be NUTS about you,
you must ensure she feels you are SUPERIOR
to her.
All this is GOOD, not bad or mean and it doesn't
have ANYTHING to do with acting abusive.
In fact, the best couples on earth are the ones
where BOTH the man and the woman are super high
self-esteem and they STILL feel that they somehow
got LUCKY.
They BOTH feel that somehow even though they are
so awesome, they somehow attracted someone who
really is MORE than they expected.
Both parties to the relationship feel that
THEY are the one getting the superior deal.
THAT'S going to make for a happy relationship.
And the first MAJOR step to making a woman
feel SHE is the lucky one is to be MORE
secure than her, and ESPECIALLY being a
MAN, there is ALSO the bonus element of
being more DOMINANT as well which is a
masculine quality that turns ON a woman.
This dominance is not about pushing her
around, it's about taking initiative, it's
about approaching HER and not waiting for
her to approach YOU, etc, etc.
When a woman meets a man who GETS all this,
and still knows how to treat her RIGHT,
she MELTS in all the right ways.
And if you are reading this right now, and
haven't yet downloaded my very first book,
"The Dating Wizard", then do that now.
That's the book that this man is speaking
about that changed his life.
It's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my latest
program, "The Charismatic Man", then you'll
want to do that immediately at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/charismatic-man.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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