First of all, if the woman is attractive, then let's just call a spade a spade and not engage in this insane politically-correct culture that pretends there is no such thing as instinctive male sexual drive.
If she is attractive, then most men WILL feel sexually attracted to her, and it WILL cloud the minds of most men. So there is no such thing as a purely platonic friendship, certainly, when the woman is attractive- the guy DOES feel chemistry for her, but this does not mean he can't be in control of himself, of course. But it's not PLATONIC.
The real question here, though, is, can you trust your girlfriend or wife?
The answer to this question really boils down to ONE thing- how RESPONSIBLE of a person is she in general? And in particular, how responsible of a person is she regarding the RELATIONSHIP?
And today, more than ever, unfortunately, many, many women have SHIRKED off responsibility for their behaviors, especially in terms of how to treat other men, due to the influence of third-wave feminism.
I first started to notice this about 15 years ago in nightclubs and college campus pub-nights. Even though I never drank myself, I would notice almost IMMEDIATELY as soon as a conversation was going well with a woman I was chatting up, she would start DRINKING more.
I didn’t realize why this was, as I was still pretty clueless about some things back then, but eventually I learned that what was happening was that many women are extremely promiscuous, but at the same time they don’t want to PERCEIVE THEMSELVES as promiscuous.
So, by getting THEMSELVES drunk, they are in effect getting RID of their ABILITY to make decisions, and also offering themselves a RATIONALIZATION for whatever happens later, so the next morning they can always feel like it wasn’t really them who did whatever it was they did.
This is just one reason why I am not a fan of picking up women in clubs or pubs or anywhere else where they may be drunk. But my main point here is how this is an example of SHIRKING responsibility.
Similarly, over the years, being in this field, I have heard all kinds of INSANE things, such as women saying things like if they cheated while on vacation, “It doesn’t count”, or that sleeping with ten guys while on vacation “doesn’t count”.
Also, the ENDLESS TIDAL WAVE of blaming MEN for everything - for example, when a woman says that she dated TEN ABUSIVE MEN in a row, you have to wonder why she couldn’t find anyone ELSE. Was there perhaps something about those guys- were those guys cool, wealthy, powerful, or some other attractive trait, that these women have to take some responsibility for fully KNOWING what they were getting into but thinking it was worth it?
GROSSLY exaggerated claims of abuse, such as that one in four women on college campuses in the US are victims of rape, which went UNCONTESTED FOR YEARS, have recently been PROVEN as TOTALLY FALSE to the MIND-BOGGLING degree of CLARITY that NO ONE, not even THE MOST EXTREME FEMINISTS, can ARGUE with the recent REFUTATIONS to those claims.
It’s also interesting that some of the most famous feminists who claimed they just wanted equality between men and women, who claimed that the PERFECT relationship between men and women were ones where the men and women were EQUAL in status and power, ended up marrying men who were INFINITELY MORE FINANCIALLY POWERFUL than them, such as Jane Fonda who married Ted Turner.
So with their MOUTHS they SAY things, but they aren’t being RESPONSIBLE about those things.
So, it is in THIS light, in THIS context, that I tend to be very SKEPTICAL about some women who say they are hanging out with some guy who is "just a friend".
It’s NOT because it is IMPOSSIBLE for men and women to be friends.
It is because we are living in a time when women are told they don’t have to be RESPONSIBLE for their behaviors- they can just blame anything that happens on the guy.
So if the woman was in a relationship, and hanging out with some guy for coffee or a dinner or whatever, and that guy started making moves on her, what kind of CULTURE do we live in?
We live in one where it is EASY for the woman to start SHIRKING responsibility, to start BLAMING her boyfriend for not being good enough, for being too good or too nice, for being WHATEVER excuse she wants in order to cheat and not have to take RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT.
It is WRONG for any man to abuse a woman, and we live in a society in the western world that KNOWS this, and AGREES with it, and it is ILLEGAL.
However, if a woman hits a man, if a woman is verbally abusive to a man, if a woman cheats on a man, what we tend to hear are ENDLESS excuses, endless rationalizations, endless SYMPATHY and EMPATHY for the woman.
For example, when Arnold Schwarzenegger was found to have cheated on his wife with the maid, which was wrong to do to his wife, the INSTINCT of most people was to hate on him, but what is so BIZARRE is that NO ONE mentioned the MAID HERSELF!!!!
Somehow, she got off as PERFECTLY INNOCENT, as if she was FORCED to do all this.
It is as if the culture was saying, "There IS NOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYYY that she was anything other than TOTALLY INNOCENT, and there is NOOOOOOOOO WAYYY that she was trying to BENEFIT from being with one of the most successful men in Hollywood and American politics, EVER. Nooooooooooooo, it’s only ARNIE who is the absolute villain here."
Do you see what I am getting at?
A society where WOMEN are simply NOT held to the same degree of RESPONSIBILITY for their BEHAVIORS as men are, all thanks to third-wave feminism.
Also, it is interesting how many women end up with BAD BOYS, women who have all the choices in the world. For example, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. And just about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE KARDASHIANS. And if you have enough experience dating, you’ve probably seen plenty of this as well in your own environment.
So, men are supposed to behave NICE to women, when being overly nice does not work, but when women are mistreated by bad boys, it’s not the WOMEN who are told by feminism to learn a lesson, nope- it’s the EVIL MEN who must change, when in reality most of the guys who are super-sensitive and nice to women end up getting taken advantage of.
So, in a society like THIS, yes I believe you have to be damn careful in your screening process with women, and in not being naïve. We are living in a culture where women simply aren’t put to the same level of MORAL RESPONSIBILITY towards the SAFEGUARDING of a relationship as MEN are.
I have been saying FOR MANY YEARS that OF COURSE I believe in fairness, and women being treated right, and women being astronauts, doctors, or whatever they want is awesome.
What I have a problem with is a MORAL DECAY that results from third-wave feminism preaching a DOUBLE STANDARD, and most of all, preaching LIES.
And what this means is that if you want a long-term relationship with a woman, you must screen for a woman who is AWARE of this VERY issue, and who is RUTHLESS in her vigor to SAFEGUARD the integrity of the relationship by actually being RESPONSIBLE in her actions and decision-making.
Once you are with a woman like that, then not only CAN you let her do what she wants, but you in fact SHOULD trust her, as when trust is earned, and trust is then given as a result, she will feel no desire or need to RUIN it, and in fact will cherish what she has with you.
Now, there ARE some great women today, who have great senses of responsibility, and honestly, to me, a woman like this is a TRUE "Wonder Woman"- because it takes incredible STRENGTH to STAND UP to the SOCIAL PRESSURE of a society gone MAD.
There is an old quote: "A woman of valor, who can find?" What is interesting here is that the word VALOR denotes noble character, but it especially notes COURAGE as well. It takes COURAGE for a woman to STAND UP up for good values when society's values are corroding into chaos all around her.
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Till next time,