Getting Back Together After Breaking Up?

One of the areas I don't speak too much about is getting back together after breaking up.  The reason is that usually the same thing or things that caused the break-up the first time will continue to cause breakups a second, third, fourth, and billionth time as well.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't fully understand just how powerful the desire can sometimes be to want to get back together with a woman.



At times, it can feel absolutely overwhelming, as if it is tearing you apart if you DON'T get back with her.

However, I suggest that you BE STRONG, and before you do anything, read the suggestions in this article. Going back to an ex when it is the WRONG move will only throw your emotional state into an even GREATER depth of anxiety.

The following situations are the ONLY situations where you should try to get back together with a girl after breaking up with her, regardless of who did the break-up or if it was mutual.

1. IF YOU SCREWED UP AND YOU HAVE SOLVED THIS ISSUE

So let's say, for example, you used too many "pick up artist mind-game tactics" on a girl you loved, whether it was back-handed compliments that were really intended to lower her confidence, which is a manipulative tactic that supposedly gets a woman to appreciate you more but in reality usually ends up making a good woman with high self esteem just lose TRUST in you...

OR....

If you were playing "hard to get" to the point that she felt that you just didn't appreciate her and she figured she better move on, the main thing is that you know it was YOUR fault and you know to never play this stupid ass sh*t on her again...

OR....

Any OTHER major mistakes that involved not treating her right, the key here is that you realize it was YOUR screw up, and you have put in the WORK to CHANGE yourself in that area or those areas where you needed to, so that you will NOT make those errors again. If you've done all that, THEN it's okay to seriously try to get back with an ex-girlfriend after a break-up.

The reason is because there is now EVIDENCE for why things will be DIFFERENT in the future, and also because it's not "kissing up" when you are the one who made the mistake.  It's not losing dignity or self-respect in any way.  She will only gain more respect for you if you are authentic in meaning you have learned from your mistakes.

2. IF SHE SCREWED UP, AND SHE IS THE ONE PURSUING YOU NOW, AND SHE TOTALLY OWNS UP TO HER MISTAKES, AND IF YOU CAN FORGIVE HER.

So, if SHE is the one who made the screw-up, and if SHE is the one who is pursuing YOU to get back together again, and if YOU can truly forgive her, THEN it's okay to get back together and give it a serious try again.



If she is the one who made the screw-up, you CANNOT be the one to pursue her to try to CONVINCE her of how she screwed up.  That is just totally wrong, and will cause you to lose self-esteem, and if anything will only make her think that she DID NOT SCREW UP since after all she still has YOU chasing after HER.

It MUST be HER that tries to convince YOU to give it another try, if it was HER who screwed up, and also she must totally acknowledge how she screwed up, and she must also provide serious evidence to you for why she WON'T do this major screw up again.

AND after all that, YOU must seriously be honest with yourself if you can FORGIVE her.

Because even if she is genuinely sorry, even if she shows all the right signs for why she won't do this screw-up again, if YOU on some deep level still can't forgive her, the relationship will NOT work, as you will carry resentment with you and you will still see everything through the filter of not being able to trust her, and you will see worst-case scenarios in every behavior she does, even if she is innocent.

By the way, if she was UNFAITHFUL to you, or if she played games trying to get you to feel that maybe she was with some other guy just to make you jealous, I don't suggest you go back to her even if you can forgive her. I believe in getting a GREAT girl, not just getting SOME girl that you are attracted to. 

3. IF YOU BOTH SCREWED UP AND YOU BOTH FULLY OWN UP TO THE MISTAKES, AND YOU BOTH PROVIDE EVIDENCE FOR LEARNING FROM THESE MISTAKES, AND YOU CAN BOTH FORGIVE EACH OTHER.  

If both you AND her screwed up, and you BOTH totally own up to your mistakes AND you both can demonstrate how you will be DIFFERENT in the future, whether it is through explaining exactly how and why things will be different, or any other convincing evidence, well then it still makes sense to give the relationship another try IF you both can forgive each other as well.

It needs to be all those things- the mutual learning from mistakes, the mutual forgiveness, the mutual evidence for why things will be different, and the mutual humility about the whole situation.

Well, if you both have THAT going on, let me tell you, you are both in for some of the most powerful, explosive make-up times you have EVER had :)

And if you'd like to make sure that you KEEP things going as powerfully as possible, or if you are serious about finding that one special woman, I suggest you get my most advanced program on this topic by going HERE:

How To Get And Keep A Quality Woman      

This program will BLOW YOUR MIND on this topic, and is absolutely essential if you are serious about getting into a fantastic long-term relationship with a woman who has it all, inside and out.

Till next time,

Michael Marks