Climbing Out Of Darkness

One of the BIGGEST MISTAKES that I used to make
regarding the whole idea of attraction is that I
thought you were supposed to be this type of
STOIC, serious guy. Brooding.

I thought this showed that you were TOUGH.
I thought TOUGH was what it was all about.

I didn't see how you could be both TOUGH
and yet PLAYFUL.

Not only that, I was so dark and brooding that
I LIVED in a world of darkness. I dressed in all
black. I felt very CONGRUENT this way too,
especially since I was so pissed off at so many
things. If I could have been Batman, I would
have definitely fit the mood.

And the way my interactions were going with the
girls that I liked didn't help any, in fact that
probably made me feel more angry than anything.

I was this decent guy, who would never cheat
on a girl, who was totally genuine and meant
every word I said, and yet the girls I really
wanted just didn't seem to feel the same way.

They didn't seem to appreciate any of my
decency, or my serious-mindedness, even though
they kept on SAYING they wanted a serious
guy who wouldn't cheat on them, etc.

So I used to assure them over and over again
that I would NEVER cheat on them, and that
I would ALWAYS appreciate them. I used to
call a girl again and again to show her that
I did NOT take her for granted. To show her
that I was NOT the type of guy that they said
they hated.

Of course, this made the problem worse.
This just pushed the girls away even more,
and this made me even more brooding, angry
and pissed off.

It ultimately EXPLODED one day as I became
totally and completely fed up. I became blunt
with girls, doing NOTHING for them, no favours,
sick and tired of being abused and used.

I was super direct in my style, basically
just approaching girls and going right into any
conversation and then telling them to give me
their contact info, which they often did.

I gave no compliments because I was sure
girls didn't deserve them. And, in a completely
calm way, (because I really didn't care about
any girl, since I felt they were pretty evil anyway,
so I had no anger, I was more EMOTIONALLY
DEVOID). I disqualified girls for the SLIGHTEST
thing that **I** didn't approve of, in fact I told
them that things wouldn't work out and I meant it.

I would do this calmly on the way driving them
home. So if a girl pulled out a cigarette for
example, earlier in the evening, she found out
later on the ride home from me, that in my
opinion things wouldn't work out, I often didn't
even explain why, because I didn't care enough
to even let these girls know, since I figured
they were too insensitive to appreciate the
reason anyway.

The key to remember is that I said this super
perfectly calmly, which is something that 99
percent of guys don't do, they get emotionally
involved, which actually BOOSTS THE
GIRLS' EGO, since she feels she got the
guy to REACT to her.

Usually, these girls, who by the way happened
to be INSANELY HOT, then started to CHASE me,
asking me to call them and not to judge them
based on one night. They kept telling me to
call them. To give them a chance.

Which was ironic, because when I was always
doing the chasing, and doing all the work in the
world to make these girls happy and feel good,
they wouldn't give me the time of day.

But in the 'then' new version of myself, I called
girls only when I happened to feel like it, and
didn't call them when I didn't feel like it. I
promised girls nothing, and had more girls
than I could count, so I really didn't mind
much if some of them didn't like the way
I rolled.

So what was the problem?

There were a few problems:

ONE: RELATIONSHIPS FIZZLED

These relationships lasted for a VERY SHORT
time.

Most girls are compelled and intrigued and
attracted to a guy who really is THE MAN in
the sense that he is emotionally strong,
doesn't need anything from anybody,
certainly not from a woman. They are
also attracted to the dominance shown
by a guy who leads the show.

However, they also hope to have a sense of
CONNECTION to the guy. The way I was
behaving made any long-term relationship
impossible.

TWO: IT COULDN'T WORK AT FUN PLACES

When trying to actually MEET girls in
'HAPPY' environments like parties, (where
TONS of girls hang out) my behavior wasn't
helping very much. It's just like trying to mix
oil and water, they don't mix.

I hated the music, I hated the whole happy
thing actually. Hated it. Thought it was
the OPPOSITE of being MASCULINE.

So this style was not useful at parties, lounges,
or celebrations. And there are TONS of girls
in these places.

THREE: IT WAS MAKING ME BITTER

In general, this whole attitude I had was not
making ME very happy. My attitude was that
'chicks' were 'evil', and they had to be shown
'who's boss'.

Which is kind of depressing if you really
believe it, which I kinda did at the time.
Not a great paradigm or formula for
happiness, on your own, or with women.

All this changed SLOWLY, as I evolved to
gain a far greater and more comprehensive
understanding of attraction.

It took YEARS for me to CLIMB OUT OF
THE DARKNESS.

I grew to understand that attraction has
NOTHING to do with being a jerk. It has
to do with making a girl feel you are
SUPERIOR to her, and yet it also has to
do with making her feel that you in fact
really DO LIKE her, for she has something
special about her.

Superior does NOT mean abusive
at ALL.

It's just a FACT that people are attracted
to that which they feel is SUPERIOR.
So says ME.

I also grew to understand that the right STATE OF MIND,
combined with the right INSIGHTS into sparking a whole
RANGE of powerful EMOTIONS in women, is the most
powerful way to ensure success in attracting women.

This 'state of mind' is a combination of BEING
IN AN AWESOME MOOD, of KNOWING that you are
DESIRABLE, and of feeling SEXUAL as well as
of feeling DOMINANT.

Combine this with insights into sparking inspiration,
humor, wit, and with learning how to unleash a
woman's sexual inhibitions, and you are now
operating in a whole new DIMENSION, it's a
WHOLE NEW BALL GAME.

Seriously, no exaggerations, it's a
WHOLE - NEW - BALLGAME.

Suddenly, you no longer have to 'run game'
on women. YOU are all the 'game' you need.
YOU have BECOME what attraction IS.

And your attitude toward women changes
as well. The reason this happens is because
you are not only getting results, but you
also finally 'get' that attraction is not about
being MEAN.

Ultimately, it's about making women feel
GREAT, which happens because YOU feel
great (which is VERY different than the
stereotypical 'nice guy' who actually feels
very down and inferior). You are able to
make women feel great because you
KNOW IN YOUR GUT that you are
THE guy who will make her feel GREAT.

But the thing is, WHAT IF YOU ARE FEELING
LIKE TOTAL CRAP???????

If state of mind is SO CRITICAL for
success in your interactions with women,
then what the hell should a guy do if he is
feeling like total crap???

Should he stay home and say affirmations
to himself?
Should he tell a girl that he is feeling crappy,
that he is having an 'off day'?

NO!

The answer is that he should IMMEDIATELY
GO OUT FROM THE HOUSE AND GO INTERACT
WITH WOMEN AS BEST HE CAN.

Yup.
THIS is what he should do.

If approach anxiety is something preventing you from
approaching women, then DEFINITELY get my
"Obliterating Approach Anxiety" program NOW.

A man should go out and approach women even if he
DOES feel like crap. 

Otherwise, he will just go DEEPER into his
negativity, and by focusing on it, he will only
make it WORSE.

And NEVER, EVER EVER give in to the negative
emotions. WEATHER THE STORM with everything
you've got.

For example if some EX-GIRLFRIEND who
treated a guy like crap is making a guy feel
bad, then the BEST thing he can do is GO OUT
AND INTERACT WITH WOMEN!!!

And even if he feels like crap while he is
doing this, he is doing the BEST AND MOST
EFFICIENT THING for his success and for his
state of mind to change.

The reason for this is because interacting with
women requires ALL OF YOUR SENSES TO
BE ENGAGED.

Your sense of timing, your sense of humor,
your visual senses, your alertness and dominance,
your tone of voice and vocal abilities.

YOUR FOCUS IS THUS PUT IN THE RIGHT PLACE:

YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN, rather than

some negative PAST event or even some negative

current emotion.

As a brilliant friend I know explains, don't REPRESS
the thoughts, but don't FOCUS on them either!

THERE IS NO INSTANT PERFECTION.

But there is the QUICKEST route to GETTING
to that powerful state of mind-- a state of mind
that is the combination of several specific emotions.

And that's through DOING IT, through DOING
the approaches, and through interacting with women.

And of course, not only are you concentrating
your focus away from the negative LIES in
your brain, but chances are that you will also
get POSITIVE feedback from women if you
take advantage of the things that I teach,
which will VALIDATE your sense of self-esteem
and self-worth.

This will BLOW TO BITS the feelings
of insecurity that were causing you the
negative feelings in the first place!!!

And of course, you should ALSO be immersing
your life with POSITIVE sources of energy and
you must CUT OFF the negative sources of energy,
you must Do EVERYTHING in your power to avoid
negative people and negative sources.

Your mind should be fed a diet of EMPOWERING
input, i.e. music that is 'THE MAN' approved.

Blow the wuss music the hell out of the water.
For now, you can't take chances.

Also, remember that chances are if any woman
ever did something CRUEL to you, (this is different
than simply not being attracted), chances are
INSANELY HIGH that she did this to you because
SHE FELT INSECURE. She felt horrible, so
she wanted YOU to feel horrible. It was her
CONTRIVED PLAN to make you feel like
crap.

It was CONTRIVED, it's not what you are
REALLY worth, it's what she WANTED YOU
to THINK you are worth.

Insecurity is the cause of all hell and bad
personalities. Yes it's true. It's the cause
of both behavior that is FAKELY NICE
and also behavior that is MEAN.
Both of which are 'anti-attractants'.

Notice how both FAKE NICE, i.e. a guy
that kisses a woman's ass because he
feels inferior, is not 'nice', it's just a feeling
of inferiority, and notice also how being
MEAN is ALSO a reflection of someone
feeling inferior inside and thus feeling
the NEED to put down others so that
they will (in his mind) accept him or
her as superior or at least worthy.

Either way, BOTH are not the ways to achieve
optimum attraction.

It ain't about being 'nice' and it ain't
about being 'arrogant'.

It's about being the MAN in every way.

If you want to gain the greatest powers
of attraction with women, there are two
MAJOR programs I have that I suggest you
take FULL advantage of:

The first is my Attraction Mastery Audio Program.
This program will teach you crucial insights
and strategies for attraction to open up
the entire WORLD of women for the taking.

This program is at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html

Then, once you've dated to your heart's content,
chances are you are going to meet some women
who are SERIOUS CONTENDERS for being "the one"
for you.

If you want to find, attract, and KEEP the kind of woman
who truly can be "The One", then you need to get my
'Warrior Within' DVD Program.

It's at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html

And if you haven't yet downloaded my LATEST program,
"The Charismatic Man", then do that now at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/charismatic-man.html

Charisma is the 'secret ingredient' that allows
a man to break ALL the rules and STILL attract
fantastic women!

Till next time,

Michael Marks

P.S.
If you are ready for the IMMERSION EXPERIENCE,
where you will be pushed to your limits and then
taken WAY BEYOND what you thought was ever
possible, it's time for you to sign up for my
exclusive Real World Bootcamp.

These bootcamps are sold out for several weeks,
so if you are interested in signing up for this
summer, let me know asap.

Get all the details at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html

Till next time,

Michael Marks