Some SUPER IMPORTANT news for you today
if you care about meeting and attracting
the RIGHT woman for a great relationship.
The first is regarding a message I have
been teaching for many years, which is
now gathering even MORE MASSIVE evidence
for being absolutely true.
In an article by Andrea Bartz, there
is a review of recent research in the
Journal of Social Psychology which examined
how the evolutionary drives of women might
affect how they respond to stereotypical
pick-up artist style approaches.
Here are some of the highlights of this article:
1. Women who were looking for love (or at least
a long-term relationship) favored MEANINGFUL
positive comments, or even something innocuous,
however, pushing the flirty too far conveyed
lower trustworthiness and intelligence.
This falls totally in line with what I have
been saying for years, because a woman who is
interested in something long-term needs to
feel TRUST.
But the reports gets even better:
2. Researchers from the University of Kansas
recently examined who follows pick up artist
methods, and which women actually like it.
Here is more of the report:
"Turns out the offenders are men with a preference
for one-night stands and negative sexist attitudes
towards women. (Lovely.) In response, women
with a preference for no-strings-attached sex who
also have negative attitudes toward other women
tend to respond to dudes' aggressive tendencies.
(Even lovelier.)
So now you know: So-called pick-up
artistry serves an important function. It helps
sexist men and women find each other in
dim and crowded bars."
MY COMMENTS:
As I have been saying for years:
LIKE attracts LIKE.
If you want women who are looking for
one night stands, then do NOT emphasize
the MEANINGFUL, do NOT emphasize the
TRUST, do NOT focus on the deep connection.
Getting too meaningful, too deep, will
SCARE OFF the women who are looking for
one night stands.
On the other hand, if you are looking for
a great GIRLFRIEND, for a true long term
RELATIONSHIP, then you MUST be able to
COMBINE a fun approach without going into
the land of the vulgar, and without getting
too aggressive.
The REASON for this is SIMPLE:
A woman looking for a genuine, long term,
and thriving great relationship is putting
a LOT on the line:
She is investing her EMOTIONS, her TIME, her ENERGY, her FUTURE.
So she ain't about to RUSH into something just
in order to get the physical gratification
of sex.
So OF COURSE the element known as TRUST
becomes HUUUUUUUUUUGELY important.
And the element known as INTELLIGENCE becomes
VERY important as well.
And I teach the WHOLE thing, the whole big
picture on attraction, which is what you
NEED to know if you want a great girlfriend
for the long term.
To make a LONG TERM relationship work, you need to have two things in addition to ATTRACTION, you need to have created a strong foundation of mutual TRUST, and you need to have someone who is intelligent.
This is where showing some WIT becomes
very helpful as well. And you can convey
wit and playfulness together with a
confident sense of humor.
This is also why IN GENERAL night clubs, full
of alcohol and party vibes, are NOT the best
places to meet a great girlfriend, although
it CAN happen, because sometimes a woman
is out at a birthday party at a club, etc.,
and it is not because she is really into
the nightclub lifestyle.
Some, but not all, "pick up artists" like
to pretend that all women are exactly the
same, but the fact is they ARE NOT.
And it is not just about LOCATION in terms
of finding the right woman. Just because
NIGHTCLUBS usually are not the best place
does not suddenly mean that you are going
to meet your future girlfriend or wife
at a nice grocery store like WHOLE FOODS,
although there is probably a much HIGHER
CHANCE of it happening there.
It is for THESE reasons that I also teach
how to DETECT a woman's character and
her values as well, so that you can
find out quickly what kind of a woman
she is no matter WHERE you meet her.
For one powerful insight into DETECTING
a woman's character, keep THIS in mind:
DO NOT MAKE HER FEEL JUDGED.
Encourage her to speak her mind.
LET HER REVEAL HERSELF TO YOU.
Do not make serious opinion statements too fast, or you risk her FEELING that in case her thoughts or values do not match yours, you will judge her negatively. It is because of this fear that she will then feel the need to HIDE her honest thoughts and feelings.
You don't want that, you want her to SPILL THE BEANS as much as possible about her real self, and the cool thing is that most people love talking about themselves anyway as long as you don't make them feel uncomfortable.
The study also shows that women who DO
only want one night stands are NOT attracted
to personality. They ONLY care about the SEX.
In other words, there really are NO strategies to LEARN when it comes to these types of women who are looking for one night stands, aside from looking your best, being in PARTY MODE, and being persistent.
She's just looking for a little "fun" for the night and she has NO long term thoughts about it at all. She's the female version of a promiscuous guy, that is all there is to it.
And there is nothing wrong with people getting what they want if they are not hurting anyone else, but it is ridiculous to pretend that ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME, as if the women who are drunk every weekend at the club are in the SAME MINDSET as the women looking for a great relationship.
THIS IS WHY it is so RANDOM, so ARBITRARY when it comes to bars and clubs, and why one woman will ignore a guy and another will think he is great, even if he says NOTHING!
It is because in these environments of clubs and alcohol, there IS no strategy except to be in party mode, aggressive, and persistent by approaching different women, because the women are already liquored up and some of them just need to meet a guy who clearly wants the same thing as badly as they do.
The drunk party girl is not thinking long term, DEDICATION to a guy.
She is not thinking of the kind of dedication, day-in and day-out, that is required between a man and a woman to make a LIFE for two people, a FUTURE for two people, a FAMILY, etc.
Now, do I think that her article is PERFECT?
No, as I believe that a CERTAIN amount of
dominance IS important and is very attractive
EVEN if you are looking for a great woman
for a long term relationship.
ESPECIALLY in the initial moments when you
are having to approach a woman who is a
TOTAL STRANGER and it is NOT happening in
a place that is particularly socially ENDORSED
for meeting strangers for the purpose of DATING.
In other words, just about EVERY PLACE, whether
it is the bus, the bookstore, the cafe- none of
these places are OFFICIALLY where you are
"supposed" to approach women, but where you
indeed CAN and SHOULD.
I ABSOLUTELY suggest men approach women in these
everyday places, because even the greatest
quality women simply have to get out and about,
they have to go grocery shopping, go to the
post office, take transit, etc.
So it takes a certain amount of "OOMPH!"
and of DOMINANCE and DRIVE to OVERPOWER
the momentary "strangeness" of it all,
and to come in with an air of AUTHORITY
to OVER-RIDE the initial DOUBTS she may
have about meeting men who are strangers
even though deep down she probably
WISHES she could find the right guy
and it does not matter to her WHERE
that happens.
And in the name of total honesty, I also
believe that what STARTS out as just
some mild interest in a man from a woman,
even if they just met in a club, can then
be AMPLIFIED, even if a woman is not that
attracted from the start, and even if she
was not thinking long-term from the start.
However, if you are looking for a SERIOUS
girlfriend for a great relationship, you
really want to have EVERYTHING working in
your favor, so you may as well start RIGHT
by having the RIGHT approach and detecting
the right kind of women, and going to the
places that have the higher percentage
chance of meeting the RIGHT woman.
One of the things that I really learned
is to NOT look at things as totally black
or white, so I learned from EVERYTHING
and incorporated it ALL into the most
powerful way of meeting, approaching,
attracting, and keeping a GREAT quality
woman, the kind of woman who is loyal
and would make for a great long term
relationship.
And the fact of the matter is, that if
you want to meet that GREAT woman, the
fact is that if she is a total stranger
somewhere, you do not KNOW her, so you
have to APPROACH her from scratch, without
knowing a thing about her.
At this point, this INITIAL starting
point, you need to SMOOTHLY get past
the potential awkwardness and social
conditioning that she has to AVOID
talking to strangers, even though
deep down she WANTS to find out
about you.
So this is where it becomes important
to get her mind OFF of the awkwardness,
and instead get her to FEELING GOOD,
which allows you the opportunity to actually
then convey some personality and for her
to see that indeed she SHOULD be chatting
with you.
This is where you THEN begin the massive
emphasis on creating a CONNECTION with her,
and on being a genuinely confident man
deep within yourself and not just on the
surface.
Getting the right woman is about REFINING
certain ELEMENTS of pick up artist skills
ALONG with developing a very DIFFERENT set
of skills as well, and I have made it my
mission in life to teach men this COMBINATION
of skills for the purpose of meeting and
keeping the kind of women who are truly
GREAT- who make relationships something
SPECIAL.
And for my most powerful program on how to
get a GREAT girlfriend and how to KEEP her,
go here:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
For my BOOTCAMP program on mastering the skill
of approaching and attracting women who are total strangers,
no matter where you see them, go HERE:
http://getagreatgirl.com/bootcamp-sign-up.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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