I have something VERY important to tell you
about approaching women. It is something
most men get WRONG, and understanding this
will make a MASSIVE difference in your
approaches on women!
If you see a woman you would like to approach,
for example, at a food court somewhere, do any
of the options below provide the best solution?
Answer A:
You take a few minutes to decide the best thing
to say, and then you walk over to her and say it.
Answer B:
You take a few minutes to decide what to say,
and then you carefully walk over but you make
sure she does NOT see you coming, so it can
look like you just happened to be walking
in that direction toward her for something else
and not as if SHE was the main reason you
were walking that way.
Answer C:
You go over right away, directly toward her,
even though this means she can see you coming.
However, you then try to make sure it does NOT
seem as if you are actually interested in her in a
way that has to do with sex. You chat to her
for an hour about something intelligent so that
it seems this is not about sex.
Answer D:
You go over right away, and you decide to
make it CLEAR you are interested in her
in a way that does have to do with attraction
and with her as a woman, and you decide
to do this by TELLING her that you think she
is very sexy and that you would like to go
out with her.
And the BEST ANSWER is:
NONE of the above.
The REAL answer is to approach her DIRECTLY
even if she sees you walking toward her, and
then when you approach her to chat, you
should NOT verbally start with telling her
that you are attracted to her, and you ALSO
should not try to make it seem as if you
are NOT interested in her either.
Just keep it upbeat.
So, for example, you could go right into
something like this:
"That looks REALLLLLLLLY GOOD! That is what
I like in a woman, someone who enjoys life
and does not deprive herself!"
In this example, you are delivering the
message with flair, with fun, and you
are giving her a playful compliment
without kissing up AT ALL.
Also, the comment is totally spontaneous,
it is not a memorized pick-up line, it
is something born of, and in, the MOMENT,
which makes it feel more REAL instead of
REHEARSED.
It is also the kind of topic that can easily
lead into a fun chat about guilty pleasures
like chocolate or television watching, plus
it can give you a lead-in to enjoying food
more with some company and you sitting there
with her for your lunch.
She might comment that actually the food
she is eating is healthy, it is not a
guilty thing, and you can playfully
respond with something like, "Let me guess,
you're a lawyer, right?" with a smirk
as you say it.
Then she might tell you whatever it is
she really is, or she might ask you
about yourself, all this is good
CONVERSATION.
Then, after just a few moments of this,
you can chill out more and slowly get
to a DEEPER CONNECTION based on shared
VALUES, which also only takes a few
minutes.
And THEN, if you connect, you let her
know that you want to see her again.
So, to recap what happened here is:
First, you DIRECTLY approach her.
You walk right up to her, even if she
sees you from far away.
It is a good thing anyway if she sees this, because women are extremely sexual and if they are looking for men, they are not looking for men who think that women need to be tricked into sex, or men who think that women are not interested in sex, etc, etc. I will get MUCH more into this below, in just a moment.
Then, when you reach her, you chat about anything
that is fun, upbeat, intriguing, or playful,
as long as you ARE ACTUALLY being either fun,
upbeat, intriguing, or playful. (This gets
back to being congruent, which is an important
topic in itself.)
Allow me to explain WHY this is the best way to
approach a woman, especially if this is NOT a
nightclub or a party environment.
It all stems from the fact that women FEEL a
tremendous pressure to not even ACCIDENTALLY
appear promiscuous.
This newsletter could go on for several YEARS
giving you the entire history of the perceptions
of men about female sexuality, so I will just
give a few serious examples:
For MANY years, even into some of the modern era or psychology and psychiatry, most men thought that women did not even HAVE orgasms! In other words, most men thought that women were not even really sexual beings!
Then, on TOP of that, any woman who WAS perceived
as promiscuous was viewed as the absolute LOWEST,
the very BOTTOM of the totem pole of status in society.
Of course, the men who get lots of women are often
viewed as COOL, i.e. Hugh Hefner, or at least viewed
as POWERFUL, i.e. many kings who had tons of women.
And even today, the fact is, most men would like
to have sex with lots of women, but they do not
want a girlfriend who is promiscuous or who even
WAS promiscuous.
Meanwhile, the TRUTH is, that women indeed DO have urges and desires just as INTENSE as men, if not even MORE intense than men.
(Women typically do not seem to be as interested in having the same QUANTITIES of sexual partners with men as men want with women, but women definitely have intense sexual fantasies and desires, and if they were allowed to express themselves without being judged, it would not be such a secret.)
So women are not looking to screw up their lives
and their reputations. If a guy approaches a woman
and seems OVERLY into the superficial, especially
if he does this RIGHT OFF THE BAT with the following
kind of comment:
"You're so beautiful."
The BIGGEST REASON that FAILS is NOT just
because it is a form of kissing up!
Kissing up is TERRIBLE, but there is ANOTHER reason this comment of "You're so beautiful" is so bad in most contexts: The WRECKAGE left by such a comment is also because it makes a woman feel that if she REWARDS this kind of approach by even TALKING to him, she feels she will be viewed by him as a SLUT.
I also want to make it clear that it IS possible to get away with starting a conversation with "You're so beautiful" if it is said in a way that is NOT heavy with emotion at all, almost like saying the time. But MOST guys when they would approach with a,"You're so beautiful" do it with the implication that this "beauty stuff" is a big deal.
She also figures that anyone who FINDS OUT she
talked to him will ALSO feel she is a slut.
This is why women will IMMEDIATELY shut down
ANY guy who shows he is IGNORANT of this issue.
Women are RUTHLESS in this regard, and if you
understand the massive repercussions women pay
if they are not careful about this, it makes
TOTAL SENSE.
Ahhhh, but some guys have GROWN WISE to this,
or so they think.
And PRESTO, such is born the "OVERLY NICE GUY" APPROACH.
So you have these guys that do EVERYTHING in
their power to NOT come across as interested in
sex.
I used to make this mistake a lot, and when I finally realized how FAR OFF BASE I WAS, I made a MASSIVE 180, and pushed the envelope quite a bit on seeing just how far I could get away with in terms of being sexual right away.
And the answer is that you can get away with a lot as long as in those VERY FIRST FEW MOMENTS you do NOT trigger her fears of being labelled a slut.
So no matter what, unless you are in clubs or dealing with a special circumstance like a woman on vacation by herself, you STILL need to start without triggering this fear in her.
I'm talking about meeting women in everyday place like coffee shops or stores, not in clubs. In clubs, though, everything happens even FASTER, because the party is already on.
Back to the "Overly Nice Guy" approach, this is how it goes:
The guy approaches the woman indirectly,
he pretends to be walking the same way as her,
he pretends to be interested in her choice of
stationary, books, purse, movies, etc, etc.
Now, a TINY bit of the NICE GUY stuff is not
the end of the world.
But the TRUTH is, if you ever used the "Overly
Nice Guy" approach and ended up attracting a
woman who was a stranger, and you ended up
sleeping with her, and she became your girlfriend
or whatever, it was not because you approached
her with the NICE GUY stuff.
It was because you managed to chat with her WITHOUT
triggering her WORRY of being labelled a SLUT.
Then you got her number or something like that,
and then you met up, and ALL ALONG she WANTED
to have sex with you, and you managed to NOT
trigger fears in this regard.
She was THINKING about how WILD it would be
to go NUTS with you in bed from pretty much the
FIRST MOMENT you approached her.
And the problem is that a lot of guys FORGET THIS,
they pour on so much NICE GUY APPROACH that the
woman figures maybe this guy is NOT into women,
maybe this guy is going to take FOREVER to get
physical with, maybe this guy does not REALIZE
how women have mind-blowing fantasies that
would make most men BLUSH.
So just because women do not want to be labelled sluts,
does NOT mean to in ANY way pretend you are NOT
a sexual person.
And the WAY to demonstrate that you are a MAN,
while SIMULTANEOUSLY showing you understand
women have these sensitivities and concerns,
is to simply APPROACH WOMEN DIRECTLY, yet at
the same time keep the INITIAL CONVERSATION
simply a POSITIVE experience that is NOT
too overtly sexual.
(In a club, though, the sexual can happen
a lot faster since the whole POINT of
a club is really about PARTY TIME.)
She KNOWS the reason you approached her!
She is GLAD you approached her.
She is MORE happy that you approached her
DIRECTLY rather than conveying that you
think you need to be SNEAKY about it by
going in some kind of strange circle or
zig-zag pattern or somehow coming up
behind her.
The most BRILLIANT path toward her is
DIRECTLY toward her in terms of your
actual physical WALK UP to her.
But in terms of the conversation, you convey
masculinity, you convey interest, you convey
your insight into women, by actually NOT
talking about the physical stuff too much
if at ALL, not until you FIRST establish
more of a FLOW of a conversation and
more of a CONNECTION.
So you APPROACH directly.
However, your CHAT should convey your
interest INDIRECTLY, because your APPROACH
already makes it pretty darn clear why
you are chatting to her, and any more
runs the risk of overdoing it and
triggering her fears of being labelled
a slut and SHUTTING you down..
The calmness of your demeanor, the
COMFORT you feel and display while
chatting with her, all THAT is what shows
the right stuff about you and your
intentions in the beginning.
It is even okay to say something this:
***I just wanted to chat with you and
see what you are about.***
Then, you actually see if for REAL
you two can have FUN chatting together,
being playful together.
This is why you should NOT go on for
an hour about something too deep or
intelligent, because the first part
of the chat is about PLAYFULNESS
or at least about some kind of
chemistry.
Before you can play in the bedroom,
you have to be able to play outside
the bedroom.
If you go on for an hour about something
serious, you VAPORIZE the sexual and fun
vibes and you instead create the boring
vibe of an old, empty, dusty, lecture hall.
And THEN, you ALSO test to see if you
both have something ELSE important in
common BESIDES just wanting to go wild
on each other.
And THAT provides the ULTIMATE solution
on how to ensure you do not trigger her
fears of being labelled a slut, because
if there is a REAL connection between
you two, then she cannot BE a slut.
And THEN, you can ALSO tell her once that
she is cute, attractive, or whatever.
Remember, though, that she KNEW that is what
you thought all along when you approached her,
but you can tell her once, (after you two have
connected) just to make it absolutely clear
to her that you intend to pursue this all
the way to the end, for REAL, as a man.
What you have just read is so important, that
it will play a MAJOR role in EVERY SINGLE
interaction you ever have with any woman you
approach that you want to attract.
And yet, as POWERFUL as it is, it is also the
TIP of the iceberg of TONS of other VITAL
insights and strategies on attracting the women
of your choice that you will find in my special
program, "Attraction Accelerators".
I did not sit at HOME coming up with this program.
Instead, I learned it all on the FIELD, through
years of experience, and then only AFTER that,
and after SEEING it WORK for OTHER guys
as well, did I finally record this program.
Plus, I went into the BONKERS zone by pricing
this program at only $19.97.
You can download this program in MINUTES from
now, and use it IMMEDIATELY to attract the women
you want.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/attraction-accelerators.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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