I’m going to share with you two of the
absolute most important PRACTICAL
tips on how to actually approach women.
The reason I’ve spent so much time in
previous newsletters discussing the issue
of finding the kind of women who are
honest, respectful, faithful, not promiscuous,
etc., is because in reality THAT is the
harder part, the part that takes more
persistence and effort.
However, I also realize that unless you know
HOW to meet women in the first place, none
of that will make any difference, since you
have to have the women in the first place
in order to choose from them.
So here we go:
NEVER QUALIFY YOURSELF
What this means is when you approach a
woman, don’t try to EXPLAIN yourself,
and don’t try to “prop yourself up” by
alluding to or referring to REASONS
why she should talk to you.
I’ll give some specific examples:
Let’s say you are not wearing your favorite
shirt, coat, jacket, boots, or whatever it is
that you think gives you “good luck” or or
somehow improves your chances with women.
Let’s say you are coming home from work and
you think your hair is not perfect, or that there
may be a stain on your coat, or maybe there in
fact is a stain, etc.
Or let’s say you are feeling tired, and you think
you look terrible because of it. Or you are rough
shaven since you didn’t have time to shave, and
you think you might look homeless.
In all the above cases, you may feel a NEED
to EXPLAIN yourself, so that the woman
should give you a CHANCE.
You may feel you need to say something like
“I don’t normally look like this”, or “This
drink spilled on me earlier”, or “Please excuse
the way I look, I haven’t had a chance to sleep
because I was working through the night”etc,
etc, etc.
ALL THAT STUFF IS QUALIFYING YOURSELF.
And it NEVER helps, and in fact often ends up
RUINING the whole thing when in fact there would
have been NO PROBLEM had you just not gone
into the whole QUALIFYING yourself.
The reason QUALIFYING is so destructive is that
it REEKS of NOT BEING SURE OF YOUR VALUE.
Have you ever heard of the term “social proof”?
It means the fact that human beings are affected
by the perceptions of others regarding just about
anything. So if a
person finds out that millions
of people like some product, or some person, or
some service, there is a big chance that now that
person will IMMEDIATELY think “Well that
thing, person, or service MUST be great!”.
But guess what?
THE NUMBER ONE SOCIAL PROOF YOU
HAVE IS THE “PROOF” THAT YOU PROVIDE
ABOUT YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So if YOU seem to think that there is
SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU JUST
APPROACHING HER AS YOU ARE WITHOUT
SOME QUALIFYING/JUSTIFICATION/EXPLANATION,
then YOU are exerting a NEGATIVE SOCIAL PROOF
on YOURSELF.
After all, she will INSTINCTIVELY think, if
YOU don’t think you are CLEARLY AND OBVIOUSLY
THE RIGHT PERSON TO BE TALKING TO HER,
then why should SHE think you are the right person?
This all happens SUBCONSCIOUSLY.
Just like people react subconsciously to other
forms of social proof.
By the way, the OTHER reason qualifying yourself
is so bad is that so often the whole problem is only
an issue in your OWN mind, but now that you have
drawn ATTENTION to the damn stain, or not perfectly
brushed/combed hair, or that you didn’t get a perfect
8 hours of beauty sleep, well NOW you’ve put THAT
under the MAGNIFYING glass, so of course that is
now going to be the FOCUS and she will NOW possibly
actually start to think that maybe there IS an issue.
So instead of drawing attention AWAY from that
thing you were concerned about, you have actually
drawn attention TOWARD it in a MASSIVE way,
so massive in fact that it is a DISTORTED and
OVERLY NEGATIVE portrayal of yourself.
Plus, HERE’S the final kicker:
By NOT qualifying yourself, and just TOTALLY
being “THE MAN” in all senses of the word, not
only do you come across as far more confident,
masculine, and far more as a WINNER, but even
in the TINY chance that she somehow DOES notice
whatever it was you were concerned about, she might
actually end up interpreting it in a POSITIVE SENSE!
This is because, since you didn’t feel the need to
bring it up, and since you came across as so confident,
she will now subconsciously interpret EVERYTHING
about you in a way that is CONSISTENT to her impression
of you being AWESOME.
So if it’s a scar, she might figure you are the kind of
man that hasn’t been overly sheltered and that isn’t
too DELICATE.
If you hair is not perfect, she might figure you are
TOO BUSY getting things DONE to keep every last
hair perfectly coiffed.
This can go on and on, the main point is that once
you deliver the impression that you don’t doubt
yourself, she will then instinctively give all the
REST of you the very BEST interpretation as well.
The NEXT thing I want to let you know about
is the whole SMILE thing.
DON'T SMILE IN THE INITIAL APPROACH
Yes, you heard me correctly.
I suggest you DON’T SMILE when you approach women.
This flies in the fact of all the typical advice
that tells men to SMILE when they approach
women to somehow show they are not threatening
or happy or something.
But REAL WORLD TESTING has shown me
that smiling initially in the approach never HELPS,
and sometimes HURTS your chances.
In a nutshell, it’s NOT attractive on a man to
START with the whole smiling thing, PLUS
it tends to give off the impression that you are
some kind of CLOWN who spends his whole
day goofing around trying to meet women,
and who clearly doesn’t know much about women
or why is he goofing around so much since women
don’t like goofy behavior in men.
Of course, if you read feminist advice,
(which does NOT represent most women)
the general advice from them would be for
you to give her a three-hour dissertation
explaining why you are not a psycho who
is bent on raping her.
In fact, the whole QUALIFYING thing and the
whole SMILING thing probably stem from growing
up in a society where you are made to feel as if
TALKING to a woman who is a stranger is EVIL,
or as if all women were TERRIFIED of a man
talking to them, when in REALITY women,
especially attractive women, are SUPER CONFIDENT
and SUPER COMFORTABLE since they KNOW
they have the POWER over most men when it comes
to these dynamics- in other words, the woman knows
SHE is the desired party in this equation, from the
GET GO.
So, if you want SUCCESS when you approach
women, do NOT qualify yourself, and do NOT
start off with a smile, and in fact try not to smile
too much in the whole interaction.
Think about it, how much do you need to SMILE
when around friends that you are COMFORTABLE
with? Sure you may
smile when something funny
is happening, but do you go around forcing a big
smile? Of course not. Because you don’t feel a
need to treat your friends like they are fragile little
CHILDREN.
Well guess what? Women aren’t fragile little
children either, and in fact adult women actually
want their men to be MEN.
There’s a reason
Bond, Dirty Harry, and Han Solo aren’t particularly
SMILING around women, unlike most men who
are doing it out of APPROVAL SEEKING and
SUBMISSIVE behavior.
Do you want to know more?
Then here’s what I suggest:
Take a BOOTCAMP with me.
Why is BOOTCAMP so effective?
It’s because SEEING is BELIEVING.
And BELIEF is such a huge part of success.
If you don’t BELIEVE you can do something,
if you believe that the whole thing is just not in
your reality, it can be pretty hard to pull it off.
In BOOTCAMP, you will see results right before
your EYES, all happening in real time. First, you
will see demonstrations of approaches on real women,
and then you will perform the approach yourself, and
you will SEE the results for yourself.
SEEING the results makes it easier for you to
INTERNALIZE your new beliefs, and then take
them with you forever for all the women you
will ever encounter for the future.
I have been doing
this for over TWELVE YEARS.
I know my stuff inside out.
To learn more about bootcamp, you can email me
or go HERE:
If you have a serious question about any matter related
to attracting women, dating, or relationships, then you can
arrange a private consultation with me by going here:
I also SERIOUSLY suggest you get my
ATTRACTION MASTERY PROGRAM
that gives you the ADVANCED insights
on approaching and attracting women
ANYWHERE.
One of the great advantages of this program
is that it is a professionally recorded audio
program, which means you can also listen to
it while doing something like driving or when
working out. So as you get to your destination,
or finish a workout, or get other chores done,
you are also enhancing your mastery when it
comes to attracting women.
Think of this program as your REFERENCE
resource on all aspects of attracting women.
It’s at:
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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