There’s been a great deal written in recent years
about intelligence, and the different categories
of intelligence, including emotional intelligence
and social intelligence.
And no doubt, these ARE super-important
areas of intelligence.
However, it speaks volumes about our current
era that the importance of morals in EVERY
aspect of our lives has gone pretty much
COMPLETELY IGNORED in the discussion.
And yet, without moral compatibility, can
ANY man and woman get along for long?
I believe the reason there has been no discussion
about this topic is because people have thought,
for so long, that morals have nothing to do with
INTELLIGENCE, and that morals don’t benefit
one’s self.
And yet, was there not a similar under-appreciation
society had regarding social and emotional IQ? It used to
be thought that the only thing that really mattered
to one’s success in life was traditional IQ, until studies
started to show that overall success required even more
social intelligence and emotional intelligence.
Moral intelligence actually includes social intelligence
and emotional intelligence, and much more. Just
look at the definition of moral:
“Of or concerned with the judgment of right or wrong
of human action and character.”
Now, I realize that DEFINING what is right or wrong
is not always an easy task, however I also believe that
there is far more LOGIC to the morals that most of
humanity has shared world-wide for THOUSANDS
of years, than most people realize.
In fact, I think that one of the greatest TRAGEDIES
that has befallen modern society is that in the effort
to be “FREE” from anyone or anything telling us what
to do and what is right or wrong, we have abandoned
ALL THE VALUES that we used to cherish, when
in fact MANY of those traditional values actually had
INFINITE WISDOM AND VALUE FOR US.
It started in the 1960s. People started to rebel and
question authority, morals, politicians, etc.
So it’s one thing to use one’s THINKING SKILLS
to question things, to logically assess things, etc,
to arrive at TRUTH.
But it’s something ELSE to find some faults with
some things and then to COMPLETELY REJECT
AND ABANDON THE ENTIRE THING without
preserving what may be GOOD about that thing.
It IS important to use one’s MIND.
It IS important to question things and not just be a zombie.
Human history IS filled with corruption.
But human beings also developed morals that
contained great WISDOM as well.
Specifically, many of the MORALS regarding
conservative values contain INFINITE WISDOM.
The value is MASSIVE.
You don’t have to be 90 years old to appreciate and
benefit from the WISDOM in those morals.
I will get to those in just a moment, but I think
it’s important to recognize that one of the consequences
of the “rebellion” of the 1960’s was feminism.
In the 1960’s, in the US and in other parts of the
world, many folks were rebelling against traditional
values, and against many of the accepted institutions
in society. Also, hallucinogenic drugs were something
that became popular with many young people.
It was all about “free love”, and “make love
not war” and about promiscuity, and about
equality for everyone.
Hey, SOME of that message SOUNDS great,
and other parts absolutely not.
But regarding the positive parts, who can argue
against them? Who can argue AGAINST the
idea of treating people fairly?
And I’m not saying that there wasn’t a need
for CHANGE. There WERE serious issues
that required attention.
But the problem is that what was changed
was not always replaced with something
BETTER, (some of it did lead to improvement)
and in fact some of those changes resulted in
making certain things WORSE.
It took DECADES for the full effect of this
to show, it took an entire GENERATION
raised in this world, and who had kids,
and whose kids are now growing up today
experiencing ONLY this new society, a
society that is MASSIVELY different than
society was for ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY
until just a few decades ago.
So let me get right to the morals that I am
referring to – morals that today are UNFORTUNATELY
considered by so many people to be appropriate
ONLY FOR "OLD FARTS" AND FOR DUMB
STUPID PEOPLE "LIVING IN THE PAST",
when in TRUTH these are the morals that make
ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD
to the very CONNECTION between man
and woman since time immemorial.
ONE: COMMITMENT FOR LIFE
It’s a great irony that women today are the
ones far less likely to be interested in committing
to a man at any stage in these women’s lives
where the women posses their most attractive
value.
Women are far more interested in pursuing their
own careers, their own education, and in pursuing
multiple lovers who they call boyfriends, (and
sometimes this includes female lovers as well) than
in committing to any man at a point in their lives
where having children is medically wisest and
when men are most interested in them.
I don’t know why the stereotype still exists of
women who "just want to find a good man", when
if anything it’s the complete opposite.
Young men tend to be far more idealistic about
women, and far more willing to sacrifice for them,
than vice-versa.
It used to be considered morally virtuous
to put an EMPHASIS on COMMITMENT
when it came to the relationships between
men and women.
That COMMITMENT became associated with
virtue for a very LOGICAL REASON:
If a man and woman COMMIT to each other,
they can BOND through SEX, and they can
SUPPORT EACH OTHER- helping each
OTHER emotionally and financially, so they
can ultimately PROSPER and RAISE their
own children together in HARMONY.
From this COMMITMENT FOR LIFE,
come OFFSHOOTS that support this moral,
such as:
TWO: BEING VIGILANT AROUND MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, ESPECIALLY WHEN
ONE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP
Anyone who denies the power of sexual attraction
between men and women is denying REALITY.
So, over the course of MILLENNIA, it became
a MORAL to behave in a way that kept some
DISTANCE between the sexes to prevent
PROBLEMS such as infidelity, promiscuity,
etc., all of which could DESTROY a relationship,
destroy a family, etc.
Today, however, due to the EROSION of
conservative values, and due to the increasing
influence of things like feminism, we
have a society where women think that not
only is it not a BAD thing for women in
relationships to be hanging out in private with
men, but that it’s actually a GOOD THING,
it’s some kind of sign of how mature and evolved
we all are- when in reality, our PHYSICAL
DRIVES are the EXACT SAME they were
thousands of years ago!
Thanks to feminists who claim men and women
are the same, most women actually THINK men are
far more like WOMEN, in the sense that WOMEN
don’t JUMP INTO SEX DRIVE mode at the mere
SIGHT or HINT of what is attractive to them.
A lot of women really DO believe that a man
WOULD enjoy just chatting for hours on end
with some woman he is completely not interested
in physically, in his FREE TIME.
And a lot of women think it is perfectly realistic to
expect that a man just happens to find a woman so
able to perfectly relate to him - better than any
GUY ever could as a fellow man.
But men are NOT this way, for the most part.
Men tend to have more in common with other men
than they have in common with women, but men are
interested sexually in women. Men will also have a
special kind of bond with their wives, girlfriends, etc.
Men hang around women they are INTERESTED IN.
If men were NOT truly this way, corporations would
not spend HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS
on using SEX to sell things to men. For example, did
you know that McDonald’s was going to get rid of their
golden arches logo until an industry specialist showed them
how the arches actually resemble a woman’s mammaries?
Every SECOND of our lives, we are bombarded by
marketing designed to take advantage of the fact
men are INSTANTLY turned on by women they
deem attractive. I’m not saying that men can’t
CONTROL themselves, I’m just saying that men
are MASSIVELY affected by this.
And trust me, corporations don’t spend one PENNY
unless they know they are getting back their money
a hundred times over.
But if you ask a typical woman today, they will
say, SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE
a man and woman can be platonic friends, of course
a man hanging out with a woman for drinks in private
in NO WAY means AT ALL that the man is INTERESTED
IN HER.
And I’m not saying that a man and woman CAN’T
be friends, I’m just saying that USUALLY when
a man is hanging around a woman in his FREE TIME,
it’s not just to enjoy the beverage of coffee or the drink
in her wonderful platonic presence.
And since women don’t understand this, they
don’t understand how this sets up a toxic environment
for the future, for at some point in the relationship
she has with her boyfriend or husband, there will
be some difficult times, and she will then be vulnerable
to the ploys of her “long trusted platonic guy friend”.
As you can see, these MORALS don’t require any
connection with religion.
From ALL perspectives, religious or otherwise,
these morals are SMART.
Hence, why I call this area MORAL INTELLIGENCE.
Just these two morals alone, the emphasis on
COMMITMENT, and on VIGILANT behavior
in the presence of the opposite sex, have so many
corollaries, including:
A HEALTHIER PERSPECTIVE ON LOVE
Yes, love is great. And I do think one should
love their partner, but the problem is that this
love business is IMPOSSIBLE to define.
Is lust the same thing as love?
What if you lust someone today, get married,
have children, and don’t lust them tomorrow?
Love IS important, but it’s also important to
think about the difference between SHORT
TERM LOVE and LONG TERM LOVE.
And here’s where things like commitment
and a society where people RESPECT that
commitment by not fostering situations that
lead to relationship-toxic environments (such
as endless platonic friendships) would actually
SUPPORT that LONG TERM perspective on
love, as opposed to DESTROYING that perspective
with the OPPOSITE emphasis on lust and on the
IMMEDIATE MOMENT OF INSTANT SELF-
GRATIFICATION instead.
To quote from the Thornton Wilder play,
By the Skin of Our Teeth:
I didn't marry you because you were
perfect. I didn't even marry you because
I loved you. I married you because you
gave me a promise.
That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up
for mine. Two imperfect people got
married and it was the promise that
made the marriage. And when our
children were growing up, it wasn't a
house that protected them; and it
wasn't our love that protected them--
it was that promise.
We are currently living in a society where
THEORETICALLY no one is pressuring you
to do anything- religion doesn't play a large
role in telling people what to do, government
doesn't tell people much about morals, and
parental figures are big on giving kids freedom,
to the extent that kids can basically boss their
parents and all other authority figures around
these days.
And yet, since there was NO GUIDANCE when
it came to morals for so long, it left a VACUUM
that got FILLED by two major forces that absolutely
DO INFLUENCE and DO TEACH morals, just
not the kinds of morals that HELP society, but
rather that lead to its DESTRUCTION.
One of those forces includes the CORPORATE
forces, whose motivations are to sell things by banking
on people being UNAWARE of what is best for their
own lives. And, since sex sells, we are living in a time
where men and women are taught by the marketing of
these corporations to only value a woman by her
APPEARANCE and NOT by her MORALS.
So men get brainwashed by a woman's looks
to an even GREATER degree than they naturally
would! The halo effect of beauty is given even
MORE power, since there is no competing CULTURAL
force that also values a woman's morals- although of
course there is that BIOLOGICAL drive in men
that still wants a decent woman, it's just that this
society makes it damn hard for men to not get
CONFUSED.
And women get brainwashed too, UNDER-ESTIMATING
how important these morals are to men.
Even the most inexperienced man who thinks a
woman is going to be as virtuous as she LOOKS
on account of her physical beauty will soon realize
how important morals actually ARE when he finds
out how she is cheating on him.
The fact that women's looks are given such
value and that their morals are given NO value
by these powerful influences in our culture is
absolutely HORRIFYING to me.
In fact, the whole EXISTENCE of morals
is ignored, since appreciating morals takes
too much THINKING to be a good sales
tactic for corporations - selling works best when
the sales pitch strikes a PRIMAL PRIMITIVE
CHORD, i.e. the sex drive.
Now, of course, if society DID value positive morals
to a higher degree, corporations would then bank on
THOSE emotions, and to a degree, some companies DO
in fact do this. For example, they create commercials
showing people behaving in inspiring humane ways.
Second, another other force that is occupying this
vacuum is feminism. These women don’t represent
the majority of women, but they are nonetheless
BRAINWASHING women into thinking that
it’s good to NOT commit to a man, that it’s
good to NOT treat a relationship as sacred,
that it’s good to pursue career ABOVE family,
above relationships, above all else, etc.
Let me wrap this up by saying that there ARE
some AMAZING women STILL out there,
who UNDERSTAND every last word that
I have written here, but these women are
RARE.
Not so rare as to be impossible to find, but rare
enough that they are not growing on trees.
You will most likely NOT meet these kind
of women overnight- you will have to PERSIST
for a while- but you can make that search
EASIER by screening them for the exact things
I have explained in this newsletter, as opposed
to just randomly choosing women and then
going out with them for weeks or months and
then only LATER finding out what a horrible
mistake it was.
You screen women by observing them, by
listening to the things they say, by being
ALERT for the things I have mentioned
in this newsletter and in my materials and
programs.
I personally feel that it IS worth every bit
of effort to find the right woman. The combination
of the sexual, the moral, and the emotional connection
such a woman adds to your life results in an effect
that is MASSIVE.
One key to doing this EFFICIENTLY is to work
“finding women” into your regular routine.
So, for example, there may be parts of town
where there are more women than others,
so do your shopping in that part of town,
allowing you to shop and meet women at the
same time.
Similarly, there may be a gym with far more
women than other gyms- go to THAT one.
You may be a book lover- go to a bookstore
where there are MORE women than others.
And if you want to know HOW to approach
women, so you can be PREPARED AND FEEL
CONFIDENT, I suggest you download my
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Till next time,
Michael Marks
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