There's something important I need to
mention today.
I focus on what actually HELPS men
succeed with getting a woman who
is beautiful inside and out, as opposed
to just focusing on being a MARKETER.
Most of what you read on the internet
when it comes to attraction advice and
dating advice is really just marketing that
is supposed to make you think it is dating
advice.
So, what I mean is, the content is all
designed to get your attention rather
than actually help you the most.
By the way, this is not that much different
from most things that are popular today.
We live in a capitalist society, where
anyone is free to sell whatever they
want, as long as it is legal.
So, this encourages many entrepreneurs
to focus on the SELLING rather than the
usefulness of what they are selling.
What sells is not necessarily what is best
for people. For example, healthy food
does not sell nearly as well as junk food.
If we were to judge the quality of something
by the amount it sells, the greatest things on
earth would be cheeseburgers, fries, and
soft drinks that trigger diabetes.
Even qualified people, like “Dr. Phil”, if they
want to make it BIG TIME, keep the message
they sell very simple, so as to reach the lowest
common denominator and reach the masses,
and not challenge the masses to push their
own thinking abilities, because boy oh boy,
do most people HATE thinking.
The things I teach are not marketing nonsense.
They are very real.
Let me give you a few examples:
One: Videos of Approaches
There is a tremendous emphasis on videos
of guys approaching women. The problem
is the videos often involve extreme cases
to grab your attention.
So the marketers know that the more extreme
the video, the more impressed the audience
will be, regardless of whether it is actually
useful.
So, you will see videos of guys making out
with women within minutes of an approach.
The marketer, er, the dating advisor, claims
this is a magical result of his method.
Except the problem is, these are women who
are either drunk, promiscuous, or acting.
But figuring that out takes some thinking,
and people hate thinking. They prefer to
believe what they want to believe.
As I’ve said before, people don’t so much
“believe what they see” but rather see what
they want to believe.
Two: Artificial Categories of Methods
Here are some more examples of marketing
as opposed to useful dating advice:
'Daygame. Nightgame. Direct Game. Indirect Game.'
Some folks decided that they can make some
money by creating specialized categories of
“techniques” for attracting women.
So “daygame” refers to approaching women
during the day, as if women are different
during the day than they are at night.
What attracts a particular woman doesn't
change depending on the time of day.
What IS important to understand are the
differences between individual women, and
the types of environments you are meeting
women in.
So, for example, approaching a woman at a
party or a nightclub allows you to open up
the conversation extremely easily since,
after all, the environment is a social one.
It’s not “strange” at all for her to be chatted
up out of the blue at a party or nightclub.
However, approaching a woman walking
down the sidewalk, or sitting on the train,
or at the food court, takes a little more
finesse to smoothly chat up out of the blue.
In these situations, you have to adjust the
approach and the conversation to make it
less awkward for her to be chatting to a
total stranger out of the blue.
Similarly, the idea of “direct game” is reflecting
a lack of understanding of how attracting and
approaching women successfully really works.
The idea of "direct game" is that you just tell
a woman you like her right away.
The problem with this, is that it sounds
great and simple, but it can only work
on a woman that is ALREADY attracted
to you, rather than actually TRIGGER
attraction in a woman.
But "direct game" SOUNDS cool, doesn't it?
And in the world of marketing, style often
is more important than truth or substance.
“Indirect game” is also another marketing
ploy, or in some cases it is even worse, it
is the result of someone who has no clue
about women.
The idea here is that you try to disguise
your interest in a woman, so that she does
not resist your approach.
The truth though is that most of the time,
an attractive woman has a pretty good idea
that ANY man that approaches out of the
blue is probably attracted to her.
The REAL solution is to simply do
a REALLY GOOD JOB conveying
your personality as opposed to spending
your energy trying to hide the fact you
are actually trying to get to know her.
So the focus is not so much on direct
or indirect, but rather, on developing
the ability to have a conversation that
shows you have PIZZAZZ to your
personality.
So sure, you can be DIRECT, or you
can be INDIRECT, it doesn’t really
matter if you don’t ALSO show pizzazz.
Again, this is about approaching strangers,
who have no idea who you are, so to
overcome the awkwardness of it all,
the pizzazz you exude evens out the
picture, it makes all the “weirdness”
of the situation go to the wayside.
Here’s another example of marketing
versus what actually helps a guy with
women: Backhanded compliments.
Backhanded compliments are actually
thinly veiled insults. This got a huge
amount of marketing success because
it tapped into the frustration that men
feel regarding women, that beautiful
women seem to have too much power,
so by being able to insult these women,
the thinking was that this would lower
women’s self-esteem and make them
feel more likely to be attracted to a
man.
The truth, though, is that this kind of
thinking actually ends up WEAKENING
a man’s confidence and weakening his
approach, because the man actually
starts to BELIEVE that there is no way
he can actually generate enough power
on his own to attract a woman, and must
instead revert to slamming a woman’s
self-esteem.
All that usually happens there is that
women who do have self-esteem will
just end up chewing the guy out for it,
or just plain leave, OR, if the woman
does not have self-esteem, she will get
even MORE upset in the long term and
be obsessed with making you feel even
worse. Since her self-esteem is so
low, rather than just move on from you,
she will feel the need to make sure you
suffer first and then she will move on.
So, since day ONE, I have never resorted
to these kinds of harmful strategies, even
though I could have easily made millions
from doing this, since I was in the field
before just about everyone else was, and
I saw the trend becoming popular, but
I resisted the urge to sell out because,
again, I just hate b.s.
Instead of b.s. I focus on what is REALLY
important. For example, if a guy wants to
beat approach anxiety, he will learn the
most powerful method BACKED UP BY SCIENCE
in my programs.
And in my bootcamps, I don’t just tell men
to go approach women. I actually CUSTOMIZE
my training for YOUR personality and your needs.
I teach you how to do the approach in a way
that suits the needs of the woman, of yourself,
and of the particular dynamics of the situation,
whether it is a coffee shop, bus, train, bookstore,
or whether she is with friends or alone.
And here’s something else:
Given the complexity of the REAL skills
involved in being successful with women,
I actually try to SIMPLIFY things to the
level they CAN be simplified, without
“dumbing it down” at all.
So you get the most advanced and powerful
skills in the easiest possible way to learn.
Most of the dating coaches out there
came after me, and most of them try
to imitate me, my articles, my content,
but they are just parrots saying various
words at different times that don’t
necessarily make sense for the
situation.
When it comes time to learn how to
do something, when you have actual
questions, who do you want to train
you? The parrot that just spits out
words not knowing what it all means,
or someone who can instantly figure
out your challenge and give you the
RIGHT solutions?
Whether it is how to approach women,
how to get over an ex, how to determine
if a woman is right for you or not, how to
connect with women, how to build
intimacy, how to unleash your confidence,
how to incorporate humor in a way that
is suitable for your personality, how to
obliterate approach anxiety, how to
keep a relationship going successfully,
or any other dating related issue, I will
give you the absolute BEST as opposed
to just give you more marketing nonsense.
For consultations, bootcamps, and all
my programs, go here:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/
Till next time,
Michael Marks
No comments:
Post a Comment