Then just follow my recipe, it’s called
‘DISARM and CHARM’.
Unless you're talking in a nightclub, where
the atmosphere is already very social, when
you're in normal places like the bus or coffee
shop, women have been conditioned to be a little
cautious for good reasons, after all there are
some men out there who are "less than virtuous",
just as there are some women out there who
are "less than virtuous".
So one of the BEST ideas that WORKS is for
you to draw upon POSITIVE VIBES that she
herself can IMMEDIATELY recognize, feel,
and relate to.
In the same way you wouldn't be able to relate to
a woman talking to you about the finer applications
of lipstick, you shouldn't expect most women to
identify with demolition derby, Star Trek, or some
obscure Bruce Lee movie. Also, there is no point
in starting a conversation with a woman about
anything BORING, even if she can relate to it.
You can STILL totally be yourself and disarm her
and charm her, and you can do this by playfully
bringing up topics that are both INNOCENT and
FUNNY, and you can give these topics a
flirtatious TWIST.
One idea I love and that works with fantastic
consistency, is to bring up TV SHOWS from
childhood that chances are you both liked,
and then offer a playful sexual perspective
on the show, or even a playful perspective
on the show from the standpoint of male and
female gender roles.
I call it "Innocent Adult Views On Childhood TV!"
It's important to remember that it must still be
INNOCENT, and yet ALSO be ADULT.
This is a fine line that most people overlook.
I mean, who CAN'T like The Flintstones?
Who CAN'T like Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch,
and Ernie and Bert???????????????
Okay fine, maybe some people can't, but
I don't want anything to do with those
people, that's for sure!
If a woman does not "get this", it immediately
screens her OUT, as you don't want a woman
without a sense of humor, or a woman who is
bitter and no fun.
So here's just one EXAMPLE of how "Innocent Adult
Views On Childhood TV" works to disarm her and
charm her:
"Excuse me, I have a very serious question
I need the answer to. Could you help me out?"
(This SERIOUS tonality at the start is done
on purpose because it makes it all the more
FUNNY when she finds out in about three seconds
from the topic that actually this is NOT serious
at all!)
So she nods to you, or says, "Ok sure", etc.
You then go on with:
"See, I was wondering, if you were to choose
one of the two, would you marry Fred Flintstone
or Barney Rubble? This is very serious."
As she starts to crack a smile, you keep a
straight face and give her a sec to answer.
If she laughs, you continue to let her know
this is very important and serious and that
you need the answer.
If she then says that she would choose Fred, you
tell her "Oh man, this would never work out with
you and me, Fred is far too normal, goes to work
every day, very reliable good guy, far too much
pressure for me. I'm more of a Barney Rubble
type dude, I just go for a drive in the morning
but don't actually work anywhere, and I need
a woman like Betty who is more cool and
who can help me in my underground illegal
businesses!"
Chances are, she WILL be laughing by now, and
that is not only because this stuff is funny, but
because the MEMORIES of childhood and of
that show are triggering POSITIVE EMOTIONS
in her, and it's hard to view you as a THREAT
if you are being associated in her mind with
Barney or Fred or the Flintstones.
By the way, if she says she would choose Barney,
you could high-five her and tell her she is SUCH
a cool girl. (Totally over exaggerate, which only
HEIGHTENS the humor because even though she
knows you are kidding, it still feels GOOD for her,
since she feels, even if just playfully, that she
EARNED this respect because of her choice, she
didn't just get this high-five for nothing, but
rather because of her great taste in choosing a
man- BARNEY RUBBLE! People appreciate what they
EARN!)
And you could then go on to tell her why she
is so cool, because she is like Betty, who
was cool with Barney not having a real job
all day and that you plan to do the same
thing and just watch TV all day!
Then you can add the final kicker and say that
you two are TOTALLY GETTING MARRIED asap!
She will NOT think you are needy, she will KNOW
you are being playful.
So there, all at once, you have DISARMED her,
and you have CHARMED her.
This is just ONE example, there about
a BILLION other versions that you could
create, (and you could make them
even MORE powerful by incorporating
into your examples all the OTHER skills
I teach in my programs and materials.)
The first key to remember is to use something
from CHILDHOOD TV, something that is FAMOUS
so that she ALREADY is very familiar with it
so that you don't have to waste time explaining
all the details. You want her to GET IT immediately,
so it's key you use something that she will KNOW.
The second key to remember about this idea is to
give the whole discussion an ADULT twist.
The third key is to remember to NOT GO
OVERBOARD with the adult twist. In other
words, KEEP IT ALL INNOCENT. I see
so many guys going wayyyyyy too far into
the land of the VULGAR and that totally
RUINS the whole effect, the whole point
of the idea in the first place.
And remember to be CONGRUENT with your
own personality. If you never watched the
Flintstones, then don't use that example.
There are so many shows that you could
choose from, it's ridiculous. And the truth
is that it doesn't even have to be TV. It
could be some kind of popular SNACK
that was famous for kids back when you
were a child.
Maybe the snack came with some really LAME
gift, or some offer for a free gift if you
sent in about a "thousand" proofs of purchase,
(exaggerate for effect) that at the time
seemed REALLY cool, that you could discuss
and twist in playful way. For example, you
could tell her that you only like adventurous
girls, and that you are looking for a partner
in crime, to steal the toys from the cereal
boxes in the supermarket. And you can
tease her that she is too much of a wuss
to be up for it, etc. Or you can tease
her that you know she would do it for
some prize from the Strawberry Shortcake
cereal!
From there, now that you have her disarmed and
charmed, it's going to be MUCH easier to get
into rapport with her and to get into a real
conversation of getting to know each other,
now that you both have your "guard" down.
You've displayed guts, humor, charm, and you've
taken her into a receptive state of mind.
Get the idea?
It's gold, and I guarantee you IT WORKS.
As you might guess, I love using TV and MOVIES
because it’s on all over the world, and gives
you a chance to DRAW UPON the emotions and
the times associated with those experiences,
so she feels all THOSE cool emotions as well!
Let’s get into some DEEPER stuff too so
that you can take things to an even
higher level with that hottie!
Let me say, first, that I used to get
EMOTIONALLY DECIMATED by the effects of
many movies on my perception of women.
I would watch as the hero went through
emotional torture and finally got the girl
through PERSISTENCE and LONGING and
PATIENCE and LOYALTY and DEDICATION.
So I figured THAT was what women LIKED, since
after all, not only did I feel, at the time, that this
was "right"- i.e. that women were naturally more
innocent and more virtuous than men, and that
men had to "earn" women's interest, but it
ALSO seemed to me that women LOVED
these movies.
That's how I USED to think.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I was not ONLY into these kinds of movies.
I was all into RAMBO, ROCKY, and all that
stuff. But I ALSO would get affected by
romantic movies.
Then, after YEARS, of finally figuring out the
TRUTH about attraction, and what DOES
work, I HATED all those chick-flicks.
But there was still one question left:
Why the heck do women even LIKE these
movies, if in FACT, women are NOT
attracted to guys that act like that?????
And then one day it finally HIT me:
Even though guys and girls might see the
SAME movie, they are actually seeing two
TOTALLY DIFFERENT movies.
You see, the truth is that once you GET IT
TOTALLY, you actually SEE the full picture.
Let me give you a PERFECT EXAMPLE:
The movie "The Notebook".
Women looooooved this movie.
And in fact it was written by a guy.
And it's actually a pretty well made movie,
even for guys, IF you are ALREADY in
the KNOW. If you are NOT informed about
women and what works, you will NOT
get it AT ALL.
If you are a typical good guy, the story seems
to be about some old guy telling this old lady
about a story about a guy without much money
who falls for a cute girl from a richer
social class and who REALLY DIG each
other but then end up in a fight.
They split, she moves away and eventually
meets some other dude and gets engaged,
and the original guy is depressed for years
till they meet again and the passion reignites
and she realizes HE was the one all along.
We then find out that the old guy and old
lady ARE the characters, and that she has
memory loss and he tells her the story every
day till for a few minutes she remembers who
he is, then forgets him all over again.
It breaks him up to see her forget him,
but it's okay, since he loves her.
SO, if you are a good guy, you get all
the WRONG lessons:
KISS UP, and pine for a girl for your
whole life, and be willing to give up
EVERYTHING even for a FEW SECONDS of
having a woman REMEMBER you.
And get DEPRESSED and DON'T MOVE
ON properly with any other woman.
And you are taught that this is
ROMANTIC and that women LIKE
this stuff, and appreciate such
behavior, since after all the movie
was a MASSIVE HIT.
And the movie shows you that if you just
MOPE AROUND LONG ENOUGH,
the WOMAN will come back, she will
be crazy about you, etc.
DISASTROUS, I say.
BUT!
And there's a BIG but here:
HOW COME THIS FLICK IS A ONE OF THE
BIGGEST BLOCKBUSTERS of all time,
especially considering it’s not a
big ACTION flick?
How come women get all choked up and excited by this???
I'll TELL you why, because they saw a
TOTALLY DIFFERENT MOVIE.
Now, let me tell you the movie they saw, from
the perspective of ATTRACTION:
In practically the first couple of MINUTES of
this movie, the GUY of the movie shows
GUTS, COURAGE, CONVICTION, A
SENSE OF HUMOR, AND EVEN
SHOWS JUST THE RIGHT TOUCH
OF "VULNERABILITY".
Basically, while at the town carnival,
(this story is set during the Second World
War in a small town) he sees this beautiful
girl having the time of her life on the bumper
cars, she seems so totally free and full of
spark. As she gets off the cars and joins
her date for the evening as well as her
girlfriend and the guy she is with,
(so you get the feeling that this is not
something too serious, and more of
a social thing) the guy who is the main
character comes STRAIGHT UP TO HER,
and asks her if she'll dance with him.
He says it relaxed, a confident smile,
and NOT like a jerk at all. He is practically
in her face, yet his demeanor is so calm,
it doesn't seem crazy.
She tells him no.
He calmly says why not, NOT in an
argumentative way, but in a DISARMING
way. She tries to act like "a lady" that
she is not one to just be "taken" especially
while she is OUT with some dude and
her friends, so she tells him she doesn't
WANT to.
He is TOTALLY unaffected, and smiles
as she walks off.
As she goes off with her friends, she
remarks to her girlfriend she can't
BELIEVE the guts the guy had.
She also finds out that this guy is not
NORMALLY like that, so that he
must REALLY like her.
DECODING:
He had GUTS.
He had CLASS.
He was not treating her like a slut, because
he ACTUALLY liked her as opposed to
just her being another woman to use and
discard.
He was SPONTANEOUS and acted on
his OWN desire the way he felt was right.
Allow me to continue:
Minutes later, he sees her on the Ferris wheel
as it's about to start. He hurries over to it
and jumps and grabs her car as it begins to
rise, and he sits himself DOWN beside her
and the dude!
He is very straightforward, introducing
himself again, giving his name, handshake
etc. The girl and the guy think he is nuts.
He wants to know if she'll go out with him.
She says no.
He calmly gets out of car as it is
WAY UP HIGH now above the ground,
hanging on to the rails by his HANDS
only. He asks her again, and she
says no, but then he lets go of the
rails with one arm and is now only
hanging on by ONE HAND.
She yells to him that's she'll go out
with him. He tells her to say it again.
He calmly tells her something like,
"don't do me any favors if you don't
REALLY want to" and she yells back
she "REALLY wants to"!!
So he gives back a COCKY, PLAYFUL
RESPONSE and says "okay okay, I'll go
out with you" as if SHE begged for it.
Then, as he is hanging there, she tries to
MAKE FUN of him and undoes his
pants so he is hanging on by his arms
and his pants are down with only
his underwear on.
He takes it all IN STRIDE, it all SLIDES
OFF HIS BACK, and he tells her he's
going to get for her it, but you know
he is NOT pissed.
Can you say "PASSING THE TEST"?
Then, the next day, he sees her walking by
his work and tries to set the date, she tells
him she changed her mind. He doesn't
ARGUE with her, he DISARMS her
by being CHARMING and giving her
a GENUINE compliment that he likes
her.
But REMEMBER, he has already shown
VALUE through his behaviour and style.
So the COMPLIMENT is FLATTERING.
She then tries to test him again, to see
if he is REALLY serious or not. She tells
him he's a good player. He tells her that's
not it at all, which is the truth, it's not.
At one point, she tells him he's dumb, but
you can tell she LIKES him, from her
TONALITY. He doesn't ARGUE with
her, he even says he can be dumb, it's
something he does too as well as dance, etc.
You see, most guys would only focus on
what he is saying that is self-deprecating, but
they would IGNORE THE REAL STUFF
he did that GOT HER ATTRACTED.
They get a low level "double date" where he
goes to see a flick with her, and his buddy
is there as well accompanying her girlfriend.
He CALIBRATES right, because he can
tell she is enjoying the movie, and he LIKES
THE FACT she is the kind of person who
enjoys life. He likes her not just for her
body, but for her personality as well.
Then something happens after the flick:
He takes her for a walk and DISPLAYS
MORE MASSIVE AWESOME PERSONALITY
and CONNECTS WITH HER AS WELL.
He READS her correctly, even though she
tells him how busy she is with all kinds of
"serious" things, and how every second of
her day is planned, mostly by her parents,
he tells her that it's strange because he
always sensed she was FREE.
She says she IS free, but he senses that she
WANTS to be free, she is the kind of person
that really loves doing her own things, but
that she is NOT doing that for most of her
life.
He UNDERSTANDS HER BETTER than
she understands herself.
He is giving her the GIFT of greater self
awareness and leading her to the path of
inner peace and feeling better about herself.
And then he does something REALLY GOOD:
He doesn't just TALK, he DEMONSTRATES.
He lies down on the STREET, which is empty
and pretty much free of traffic at night in this
small town in those days. He chills out and
enjoys watching the street light change from
red to green etc.
She doesn't want to join him, it's too
socially unacceptable and "crazy".
He tells her that's her problem,
that she's too worried about
what everyone else thinks.
She feels CHALLENGED by this.
HE CHALLENGES HER GENUINELY.
So she joins him, on the ground, looking
up. He also teases her when she asks
what happens if a car comes, playfully
and casually saying "we die".
In that moment, as she chills out and
just enjoys the colors of the lights
changing and TOTALLY chilling out
there at night on the street, she has
NOW ENTERED HIS WORLD.
She is feeling the peace, the joy of it.
And it is PRICELESS even though it costs
nothing.
Then suddenly, they hear a car SPEEDING
so they MAKE A MAD RUSH AWAY FROM
THE STREET onto the sidewalk, and she is
laughing hysterically, because she HAS
NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN IN HER LIFE.
From here he offers her to dance again, right
there on the street, and they do, and it's
the perfect time for real physical contact.
ATTRACTION has been earned.
RESPECT has been earned.
CONNECTION has been achieved.
He has STOOD OUT.
And it was all done in a NATURAL WAY.
No manipulation.
THIS is the kind of stuff that WOMEN are
seeing in the movie.
And the movie is EMOTIONALLY true as
well, because the dude is not perfect.
He screws up when he LOSES HIS OWN
SELF-ESTEEM when he repeatedly hears
how OTHERS in her social circle look
DOWN on him, including her mom, the
family, the family friends, etc.
Even though SHE STANDS UP FOR HIM,
it's not enough for him, because
HE HAS ALLOWED HIMSELF TO BE AFFECTED
BY THEIR STATEMENTS and this has made
him FEEL UNWORTHY of her. He can't stand
to FEEL like HE may be holding her back
from being as great in her social setting
as she could be without him. (This is
his own massive error in thinking,
the result of his damaged self-esteem).
He can't stand to see her parents
yelling at her because of HIM.
He feels UNWORTHY of her, as if
there is no way on Earth she
could want to be with him if it
means all this stress for her.
So HE breaks up with her.
And yet, she gets PISSED at him for
wanting to break up with her. She
tries to convince him not to worry
about what others think, that they
can make it, but he is TOO WEAK to
LEAD THE SHOW OF HIS OWN LIFE, AND
THIS SERIOUSLY PISSES HER OFF even
though she is sad at the same time.
It pisses her off that HE doesn't believe
strongly enough in the GREAT TIMES
that they had and that they can CONTINUE
to have it.
The EMOTIONAL TRUTH of this is
OVERWHELMINGLY ACCURATE.
The biggest enemy most guys have is
THEMSELVES.
Well, I'm not going to go into the ENTIRE
movie here, but let me just say that the way
they DO end up back together is only
AFTER he does the SAME THING that
got HER into him in the FIRST PLACE:
by being THE MAN.
When he first met her, he was operating from
an INTERNAL PLACE OF GOOD VIBES
and a place of EMOTIONAL ABUNDANCE.
He LIKED HER, he wasn't NEEDY FOR HER.
In fact, he ENCOURAGED HER TO ENJOY
LIFE BEING HERSELF.
By encouraging greater INDEPENDENCE
in her, she FLEW FASTER TO HIM.
And it wasn't like he was doing this to be
MANIPULATIVE, it was because he
LIKED her personality, it was about
the JOY for life he saw she had deep
in her that needed to get out and be
free.
And in the end, he does this again, in a
more INTENSE way, when he tells her
regarding her confusion over what to
do, since in her own words the other
guy is a "good man" too, he tells her
to do for once what SHE feels, not
what her PARENTS feel, not what
HE feels, not what the other guy
feels. He practically YELLS at
her. Once again, this is a guy who
is NOT desperate to have a woman.
A woman can only be with him if HE
likes her and if SHE really WANTS
to be there. And also, he really IS
the kind of guy who believes in being
FREE to do what you really believe.
So his words are CONGRUENT
with his personality and actions.
They thus have MAXIMUM EMOTIONAL
IMPACT.
And he DOES get her back.
But really, that's not the point, the point is
HIS IDENTITY, the kind of PERSON he is.
So ALL THE ABOVE ELEMENTS that I've
discussed are what must happen in the
REAL WORLD as well for a guy to get
RESULTS with QUALITY women. I'm
not saying the exact same EXAMPLES
have to happen, but the exact same
PRINCIPLES must be there:
The bringing her into YOUR world, the
enriching HER life, the desire without
the neediness, the connection, challenging
her in a genuine yet heartfelt and good
way, the ability to walk away, the true
level of understanding her world as good
or better than she does herself, and ALL
the other elements above as well.
Some of that is very advanced stuff.
And ALL THOSE EMOTIONS are what women
emotionally get ADDICTED to.
It's UNCONSCIOUS.
It's INSTINCTIVE.
It's NATURAL.
It's not cerebral, women do NOT
go around articulating it.
It's totally something they feel
emotionally and immediately
and NOT consciously or
cerebrally.
And the emotions are true to life, it all
makes perfect sense; in fact women had
no choice. It was HARDWIRED that they
would love this flick.
These are the kinds of things that create in
women when they watch the flick, the emotions
of ROMANCE, TEARS, PASSION, AND THE
TORRID SEXY LOVE SCENE when they reunite.
And you can APPLY ALL THESE THINGS TO
YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN AS WELL!
What you've just read is a GLIMPSE into a
whole different UNIVERSE that no one
else on EARTH is giving you. It's the
FULL TRUTH on the EMOTIONAL DYNAMICS
OF ATTRACTION.
Understanding this universe is the key to
genuinely improving yourself in this area
naturally, and it's also definitely the ONLY
way to attract the true QUALITY girls.
If you'd like to enter this universe, I've
created a special resource over the last
several YEARS, designed to take you there
as quickly as possible:
The Warrior Within Program DVD Set.
This program is massively comprehensive:
You will learn to spontaneously create
the EMOTIONS in women that make LIFE
worth LIVING for them. You will learn
to create MASSIVE attraction, trust,
connection, AND you will learn to do all
this naturally because it will become a
product of who you are, and not just
something you "do".
This program is the only one of its kind
that truly will make you an expert at
EMOTIONAL DYNAMICS especially as it
relates to ATTRACTION.
And it's ALSO got EXPLICIT DETAILED
info on how to smoothly perform pickup
ANYWHERE, from FIRST seeing a woman
all the way to getting physical and beyond,
even long-term if you so desire.
It's at:
Allow me to also state at this time, that
if you are thinking of BOOTCAMP, then this
is a fantastic time to do it. It's summer,
and there are more women out and about than
ever, which means more opportunities for
you to hone your skills.
Plus, the good weather means not freezing
your butt off when meeting women outdoors.
Bootcamp goes all year, but this is a damn
fun time to do it.
Bootcamp is at:
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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