Wednesday, August 15, 2012

How Do Guys Who Are "Naturals" With Women Do It?

Some of the best learning lessons come from
observing guys who are naturals with women.

So, right now, you are going to see EXACTLY
how a natural applies the science and art of
attraction successfully.

I'm going to use an email a guy sent me, and
you'll see the beauty in all this stuff. You'll
see how a guy pulled off an awesome job attracting
a woman, and then we'll take a look at it in slow-mo,
blow-by-blow, so you can really get a good look
at what's going on.

Of course, this is not only going to be fun as heck,
it's also going to be one awesome learning experience
about how to be even more successful with creating
attraction and also understanding the dynamics
of female culture and psychology.

So hold on tight and get ready for some fun:

EMAIL FROM A CLIENT:

Michael,

Hey we had a phone consultation last Sunday.
I appreciate the knowledge that you shared
with me and your personal story as well. I gotta
couple things to say and a few questions as well,
you can put 'em in the newsletter if you like.

Your recent newsletter was about the guy who
got divorced, took out a new woman and had her
eating out of his hand, how he kissed her hand
like Don Juan instead of on the lips and left
rather than going home with her. Of course
you remember, you wrote it.

Also, if you remember in our phone conversation,
you mentioned how, internally, your negative
experiences with women that were the result
of you behaving according to the brainwashed
culture,
eventually made you reach boiling point,
and put you over the top, and you decided from
there to not give a *&@%!, to start giving women
"a hard time"
and you said BAM the results just
happened. Even though you later improved upon
this and found a way to get even better results
without being abusive.


I have to admit that after seeing these things and
being logical, I like to play devil's advocate and
do things that are counter to what others tell me
are true...

So...since our talk I checked on a couple of other
dating sites, just to see what people say compared
to you, I wanted to see if it was all the same, or if
everyone thinks they have their own great idea that
only works for them, but doesn't work for anyone
else, etc.  


I found that a lot of the others, while not advocating 
being "Nice" or a wuss, were advocating being a 
charmer through compliments and romantic things 
and looking deep into her eyes and flirting on and 
on, just introducing yourself and saying hi with a 
big smile on your face... 

I've always thought this would be a better fit for my 
personality, but am/was/ willing to give your stuff 
a go if it is what gets results...

Since I read your stuff first, I've filtered the other
stuff through it and compared everything I see/read to
what you've said. So, I've found that usually your info
is different than the rest and I didn't know if that was
good or not:

Well, the CLINCHER happened the other night as I
was working on the computer. I was doing some stuff
and I always leave the TV on just for background noise.
(One Of The Famous Dating TV Shows) was on. It's a
show where they put two people on a blind date, give
'em a car and let 'em go to a park, a restaurant, and bar
or something along those lines.

They show that the dude, I will call him Mitch (for
privacy's sake) an average looking dude with dark hair
and an athletic build who works as a bouncer is going
to be going on a date with a smokin' woman who looked
a little like ****** *******. For privacy's sake, I'll
call her Anita. She's a model who was featured in a
VERY famous televised lingerie show with kazillions
of viewers.


Anyway, the dude was a &*&^<$# pr*ck the whole
night. He shows up an hour late, makes a comment
like, "Damn, that's a short a%# skirt."

They get in the car, right away he says, "I've never been
on a blind date..."
, she starts to say "Yeah, me neither...",
but before she can FINISH the statement, HE says,
"and I don't know if I will again." She looks at him, and
goes "oh my gawd," but she is SMIRKING and totally
turned on. She gives a playful roll of the eyes right.

Anyway, he busts her all night, she at one point says,
"I think you're a di*&." He laughs, gets close to her,
and says, "What you think...? You think...?" She says,
"Okay, fine, you ARE a di**." He just laughs.

Later he says, among many similar type things, "I thought
they would hook me up with someone who was pretty,"

- YES HE SAID THIS.

Later, when the date is almost over, she gets serious,
and says, "You know I think you may have a little
insecurity, you kind of take it too far sometimes, the
teasing, and I don't like it."
He smirks, looks away,
and comes back with, "You know, I don't like sheep,
women that just do what others do, so I had to see if
you would stand up for yourself, be different and not
be a pushover, and you have (stood up)."


She gives him a sultry look, bites her lower lip, and
says, "So you do it on purpose?" (i.e. to see if a
woman is up to your standard) and he says, "Well
yeah, but also because I know women like it."
She
rolls her eyes again and smiles and licks her lips
and says, "yeah whatever" in a total I WANT YOU
voice.

So they cut to the car ride home, in a taxi, and
they're makin' out. Later they cut to the outside
of the house as he is saying goodbye (he didn't go
in, he is standing at her door) and he's like, "Hey,
it was fun, maybe we can do it again."
And she
says, "You have my number, use it."

In the post date interview he says, "Once I saw
that the girl was bangin', I knew, I knew, I
couldn't be nice if I was going to get in with her,
and yeah it worked."
She says, "Yeah, he was
a little rude, but I kinda like it when guys don't
flatter me, I'll definitely go on a second date if
he calls, but he needs to know the games will
continue."


All I could say was, "Sh**... Sh**!!! ...
Michael is right, oh man, dude is so friggin right."
I said it out loud, only one in the room, it hit me
that deeply. I realized how well it worked.

You said that even the "***** ******" types try
to act better than others but they have some
insecurity issues of their own. And this guy
played it perfect, he made her question whether
she was all that cool or skinny or beautiful and it
put the pressure on her to impress him.

She was the one trying to get his approval as
the night went on, she didn't feel like she was
a princess the way she would have around 99%
of other guys. And right when she couldn't take
it, or maybe she was just playing, it doesn't matter,
he gave her a little self-esteem boost to let her
know that she has passed some of his tests and
is showing potential in meeting his standards.


So, in parting, much props to you man, you know
what you're talkin' bout. And some curiosities
were sparked from our phone conversation as it
relates to being a "smart aleck":

You told me that the key is to determine if a girl
is (culturally) "beautiful" (like a 9 or a 10) or not,
because the gorgeous ones need to see you are
superior in order for them to feel the boost, but
the cute ones who are like 6, 7 and 8s on the 10
scale you can actually compliment them some
(not their body) and smile a little and be more
charming because they will appreciate the attention
of a sincere guy.

So onto the questions:
1)Does the jerk approach only work with girls that
are in the upper range, like the 9s and 10s? I mean,
what if a girl is real conservative, or a small-town
country girl, you know good values and stuff, maybe
never had sex or like only with one guy that she dated
for 6 years, maybe never dated anyone seriously, but
she's also real hot, won't she have more respect for
herself and be offended by the jerk approach?

2)Likewise, say a girl has been cheated on a bunch
and dated about 10 jerks in her life. When she
decides to "settle down," because she hears her
biological clock ticking, won't she have learned
that the jerks don't change and end up going for
maybe a little bit older, overweight, financially
secure guy that she will refer to as "her sweetie,
who is so good to her," or something to that effect?

3)My opinion is that a two-pronged approach
works best. Be the more intense busting
type with women who know they're "commodities",
and be a teasing charmer (like you were in the
bookstore with the two women) with the girls who
are a little more level-headed, what do you say?

I appreciate you making it through this long email.

MY REPLY:

First of all, thanks for the awesome props on my material
and on the coaching you received over the phone
( http://www.getagreatgirl.com/PrivateCoaching.html )
And my congrats to you, for putting in the mental work
and using the coaching to MAKE THE MENTAL JUMP TO
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE OF THINKING.


This is a MASSIVE step.
Suddenly you see the whole world of women
completely differently. It's going to hit you again
and again in many more situations with women,
each time it will be like a psychological tidal wave,
and each time it will hit a DEEPER realization.

(In fact, for my program on the ultra-powerful and
super-advanced "INNER MIND" components to success with
women, go HERE:http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html)

Your letter is especially worth noting because the
girl was a genuine "hot one" and that he was an
average looking dude with an athletic build; in
other words, his SKILL is what brought him out
on top.

And how did he ATTRACT this girl?
Did he try to bring her CLOSER to him?
No, as you clearly observed, he:

1."Was a  ******* pr*ck the whole night."!

2. He shows up an hour late.

3. He is SEXUAL.

He ESTABLISHES A SEXUAL FRAME in a playful but naughty way that is not TOO over the board:
"Damn, that's a short a%# skirt."

4. He TEASES her NON-MALICIOUSLY

And he is GOOD at it so that she sees his superiority but also LAUGHS and feels GOOD.

He says, "I've never been on a blind date.." She
starts to say, "Yeah, me neither..." but before
she can finish the statement, he teases her with
"And I don't know if I will again."
She looks at him and goes, "Oh my gawd," but she is
smirking and totally turned ON.

5. When she TESTS his CONGRUENCY, he is
CONSISTENT WITH HIS IMAGE AND DOES
NOT MELT.


She tests him by saying, "I think you're a d**k".

He LAUGHS in response.

He gets close to her and says:
"What you think...? you think...?"

This then forces her to say:
"Okay, fine you ARE a d(*&."

He just responds with a LAUGH.
CLEARLY he implies he does not need her,
yet since the way he did it is funny, it's not
coming across as a TOTAL JERK either.


This also prevents an argument, since he
AGREES with her statement by reframing
her "insult" as an actual COMPLIMENT.

Doing this is a sign of superiority which is
attractive, and yet he did it in a way that is
also funny to boot, which gets her in a more
receptive mood to ALL his actions.

6. HE INTELLIGENTLY TEASES HER SOME MORE

He later says, "I thought they would hook me
up with someone who was pretty."


Keep in mind she is CLEARLY attractive, and
thus would not be "ZAPPED" too hard by this,
since she KNOWS she is PRETTY, she just now
isn't so sure anymore that she is Heaven's
gift to mankind. (By the way, I hate using
numbers like 1 or 10 to indicate attraction
levels, but in this medium of cyberspace
these numbers often help us get to the point.)

7. HE KNOWS WHEN TO SHIFT GEARS


When it's clear that he indeed has her
attracted to him for quite a while, and
she is obviously no longer testing him
but being genuine when she tells him that
his teasing is getting out of hand, he 
GETS IT (the truth is, it would have
been better had he picked up on this a
little sooner and eased up on the teasing,
but at least he gets it when she POINTS
IT OUT TO HIM) and he realizes it's time
to "go a little more genuine and give her
that validation", BECAUSE NOW SHE IS
ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM, AND 

SO THEREFORE SHE ACTUALLY CRAVES 
HIS VALIDATION.

BEFORE SHE WAS ATTRACTED, SHE COULD NOT
CARE less about his validation.


So, now that he knows she VALUES his interest
in her, he first off smirks in a SUPERIOR
confident way, so that his next words will
not sound as if he is justifying his behavior,
will not sound "wussish", and he REFRAMES all
the prior teasing as HIM doing it all to
QUALIFY HER, when he says, "You know, I don't
like sheep, women that just do what others do,
so I had to see if you would stand up for
yourself, be different and not be a pushover
and you have.(stood up for yourself)".

This was almost GENIUS, if perhaps accidental
genius.

You see, he ALREADY made her attracted and
made her feel those emotions toward him by
the actions he did before, including the
teasing, but he later RELABELS the same
actions to serve a NEW purpose now:


You see, she is ALREADY attracted; it doesn't
matter if he now retroactively uses that
previous stuff he did to accomplish a NEW goal:
That goal is to now make her feel that she
has been SELECTED, that she has passed his
tests, which of course makes her fears of
being labeled "easy" go away, for this is no
"ordinary situation", it is now SPECIAL because
she has EARNED his validation and she has
passed HIS tests!!! He has made it seem like
he will not just sleep with any woman,
regardless of how attractive she is on
the outside.

Ahhh, so now she can feel more TRUST and
connection, as WELL as all the attraction.

As you described:
"She gives him a sultry look, bites her lower lip,
and says "So you do it on purpose?" And he says,
"Well yeah, but also because I know women like it."

I think he fumbled the ball a bit when he said,
"Also because I know women like it", it sounds
a bit wussish, but the truth is that even this
"fumble" might have been advantageous, because
he may have been SO AWESOMELY COOL in her mind
AT THIS POINT, that it might have made HER feel
that SHE was outclassed, so by lowering HIMSELF
a bit, and seeming a BIT like he was seeking her
validation and and women's validation in general,
it made him seem more REALISTIC, a bit vulnerable.
A bit more IDENTIFIABLE, like any compelling
character in a great movie.

I'd have to be there to observe how he said it,
because the idea of saying he said it, "because
women like it" can actually work in a different
way as well, almost in the opposite way but an
attractive way nonetheless, it can make him seem
to be real "bastard that women love" type, i.e.
he is not emotionally hung up on the whole thing,
he just does what works, ("women like it") which
can be kind of attractive as well, since he clearly
does not PERSONALLY feel that his self-esteem
depends on her approval, he simply does what works.

The bottom line is that he took a problem and solved
it by UNDERSTANDING intuitively what the situation
needed. In other words:

8. HE CREATED THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SEXUAL TENSION

Not too much not too little, which gets us to her,
"Yeah whatever" in a total "I WANT YOU" type voice."

9. HE PHYSICALLY ESCALATED WHEN SHE WAS READY

"So they cut to the car ride home, in a taxi, and
they're makin' out."

He didn't act like he was not a sexual being, he
made it CLEAR and he ESCALATED physically,and he
didn't do it too early, but he certainly didn't
wait for the date to be over before taking action.

10. HE ENDS OFF BY SHOWING HER HE LIKES HER

This is important since after all she now clearly
WANTS him. So he is leaving her with HOPE.

He says, "Hey, it was fun, maybe we can do it again."
She of course responds, "You have my number, use it."

11. SHE VERIFIES THAT HE IS RIGHT ON TARGET

She tells the interviewer, "I kinda like it when
guys don't flatter me, I'll definitely go on a
second date if he calls, but he needs to know the
games will continue."

I repeat:
"I kinda like it when guys don't flatter me."

And:
SHE LIKES THE GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, your reading of the situation is right on.

She is SO CONFIDENT of her VALUE, that it's far
MORE flattering to her to get a guy who DOES NOT
flatter her so quickly...that way, much LATER
when she BEGS for the validation, it will mean
so much MORE to her, and then it really WILL
flatter her.

When she says she likes it when guys don't flatter
her, what she subconsciously means is that the guys
who TRY so hard to flatter her are NOT succeeding
in actually MAKING her feel flattered.

This is because, in her subconscious mind, the
very fact they are FLATTERING her so much is a
sign of THEM not being cool or desirable, or
they wouldn't FEEL the need to try so hard.

It would be DIFFERENT if the guy FIRST focused
on coming across as being DESIRABLE and got
HER attracted, and then LATER tried to flatter
her, since then the flattery would be MEANINGFUL
to her.
 

As I said, even the ultra hotties have some insecurity
issues of their own. In fact, I personally am attracted
to girls who are MORE secure because they tend to
be more emotionally stable and play less games, but
these emotionally secure girls are EXTREMELY rare.

Anyway, as you clearly understood, this dude "played
it perfect, he made her question whether she was all
that cool or skinny or hot and it put the pressure on
her to impress him. She was the one trying to get
his approval as the night went on, she didn't feel like
she was a princess the way she would have around
99% of other guys.

And right when she couldn't take it, or maybe she
was just playing, it doesn't matter, he gave her a
little self-esteem boost by validating her, to let
her know that she has passed some of HIS tests
and is showing potential in meeting his standards."

Bravo.

And remember, all the while he is still keeping her
laughing so he is never seeming bitter or inferior
and plus the laughing keeps the mood and the
atmosphere FUN.

And finally, to answer your questions:

"Does the jerk approach only work with girls
that are in the upper range, like the 9s and 10s?
I mean, what if a girl is real conservative, or a
small-town country girl, you know good values
and stuff, maybe never had sex or like 1 time
with a guy that she dated for 6 years, maybe
never dated anyone seriously, but she's also
real hot, won't she have more respect for herself
and be offended by the jerk approach?"


MY ANSWER:

The answer is that definitely for the 9's 10's, in
general you have to shake up their reality and
make them feel the challenge to their "identity
of superiority", make them work to try to get
YOU to validate THEM. And of course, the very
fact they are TRYING to get you to validate them
is proof of attraction. It IS attraction.

If she is really conservative, small town, etc, it's
POSSIBLE she MIGHT be a candidate for a slightly
softer approach, but still, not as "soft" as you
might think. These women know the score, and
they get "spoiled" fast. So you have to CALIBRATE,
(measure the degree to how hard/easy you have to go)
by testing her reactions to things, reading her reactions
to things such as what you say and do. You get better
at this with experience.

Your second question:

"Likewise, say a girl has been cheated on a bunch
and dated about 10 jerks in her life. When she
decides to "settle down," because she hears her
biological clock ticking, won't she have learned
that the jerks don't change and end up going for
maybe a llittle bit older, overweight, financially
secure guy that she will refer to as "her sweetie,
who is so good to her," or something to that effect?"

MY ANSWER:

Ahhhh yes, very very often, AFTER SHE HAS
been with ten thousand guys and run the party
circuit to the ground and she is no longer a
prime commodity.

(okay I'm exaggerating a bit for comedy
effect here, but I want to make a point)
and she has been SUPPOSEDLY "hurt
and dumped" and the jerks would never
have her, she "gets smart" (she was
"smart" ALL ALONG, in fact that's why
she only "got smart" when her looks
were fading and her biological clock
started ticking), and she goes for the
"nicer guy" that you described because
that is what she NEEDS to settle down,
because the other jerky fun guys would
NEVER settle down with her, especially
because these guys sense the FULL
EXTENT OF THE TRUTH about her since
THEY WERE THE TYPES OF GUYS she
was with.

So of course these guys can't be fooled
and aren't about to give SECURITY and
RESPECT and COMMITMENT to a girl
like that.

So these women have to find a "nice" naive guy to
take advantage of, and who will act SO HAPPY
to be with her. Almost makes you puke, huh?
Yeah, me too. Or it used to, to be accurate.

This is why it's SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE
THE SKILLS of attraction.

It's like being in shape, you don't have
to be in shape because you are planning
on some emergency. Being in shape
just helps you do everything better.

Similarly, having the skills with women
will also help you avoid the wrong women,
for many reasons, not only because of the
skills of DETECTING character which you
will learn, but ALSO because when you
have tons of CHOICES of women you aren't
vulnerable to feeling NEEDY. 

So often, men end up going for the worst
abusive women simply because they feel
so needy that ANY woman is a big deal
in their minds, even a woman who lacks
integrity of character.

Having the skills of attraction helps you
SENSE what's really going on so you can
know the difference between a great girl
and a girl who is PRETENDING to be one.

Your skills enable you to DETECT this kind of
stuff a lot better than your average joe. And of
course, since the skills make you far more
attractive, you will not be so easily used by
any woman, because the skills help you make a
woman WANT to treat you well.

Your final question:

"My opinion is that a two-pronged approach
works best. Be the more intense busting
type with women who know they're "commodities",
and be a teasing charmer (like you were in the
bookstore with the two women) with the girls who
are a little more level-headed, what do you say?"


MY ANSWER:


It's all about how DESIRABLE the girl thinks
YOU are and also how she feels about HERSELF.

So to a girl who doesn't think she is so great,
then this lower self-esteem girl will feel that
a guy who IS more of a "nice guy" to be more
valuable than a guy who is a massive smartaleck
because she feels the smartaleck IS IMPOSSIBLE
FOR HER TO GET, therefore she
CUTS OFF IN HER
MIND THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING WITH HIM
, so
she doesn't feel ANYthing for him.

A woman with lower self esteem doesn't feel
"challenged" by a guy who is cool, she feels
STOMPED ON.

It's like a woman who is a 10 being MEAN
to a a guy who feels he is a 1.

This doesn't feel "challenging" to him, it
just feels horrible.

But if she was NICE to him, he feels maybe
it's possible.

So it's all about calibrating the woman in front
of you and knowing WHEN to use WHAT.


And if are reading this right now, let me
assure you that the strategies used by the
man in this newsletter, to successfully
make a genuine ULTRA-HOTTIE go from calling
him "a d**k" to then wanting him so bad that
she tells me "You have my number, use it."
are all REAL-WORLD attraction strategies that
men who are successful with women use ALL
the time.

These aren't random strategies, they have
been heavily researched and proven to WORK
to attract the kind of women that make
most men MELT.

And in my ATTRACTION MASTERY program, you
will learn ALL of these strategies and
insights plus HUNDREDS more, and you will
learn them in FULL DEPTH.  What you read
in these newsletters is just a GLIMPSE
of the FULL CONTENT you will find in this
program.  The newsletter is just a PINHOLE
view of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE of PROVEN
attraction strategies that you will get
in my Attraction Mastery Program.

There are TONS of women out there, right now.
You probably passed by some hot ones today.

Those were all opportunities to attract them.

Let me ask you a question:
What if this program only ended up helping
you to land ONE incredible HOTTIE?

Just ONE truly ASTONISHINGLY beautiful creature.

Wouldn't it be worth it?

And I'm telling you that this program has
TONS of super-effective strategies that
you can use to attract INFINITE beautiful
women.

Plus, this program can be downloaded to
you INSTANTLY.

You can start using it IMMEDIATELY.

It contains approximately 12 HOURS of pure
GOLD on the most effective strategies for
attracting the women you want.

Download it immediately by going here now: 

http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html

This special program was developed from YEARS
of conducting live attraction bootcamps in the
REAL WORLD, in tons of venues from bookstores
to clubs to the street.

The program is also the result of YEARS of
helping guys get their desired results with
women LONG-TERM as well, working with 
THOUSANDS of satisfied clients in all types of
different situations.

You can check out some of my work proving
the power of these strategies in REAL LIFE
by clicking here:

Real Life Proof As Reported In Major Newspapers

Till next time,

Michael Marks

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