Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Attracting Women: The Overcompensation Paradox

Success with getting a true quality woman
inside and out requires that you destroy
any behaviors in you that are a form of
OVERCOMPENSATION.

Today, I want to share with you how a man has
used the "Get A Great Girl" materials to
change his LIFE in this way.  

One crucial thing to keep in mind is that
when you actually start to GET results,
you will find that it comes from
TRUE DEEP LEVEL change--
something far greater and deeper than
learning superficial "lines" and "tactics."

Suddenly, you start to notice that you are
getting incredible reactions and results
from the highest quality women, without
even TRYING.  But to GET to this level,
you have to get the knowledge, the insight,
and the maturity first.     

Here we go: 

LETTER FROM A READER:  

Michael, it's a rare occasion when I decide to
sit down and share how my life has changed
because of some of your material.

When I was younger and inexperienced girls
actually flocked to me...before they knew
any better. I hit college bright-eyed and
thinking the world was my oyster. Then
I started getting rejection, after rejection,
and then started looking in the wrong places
and attracting girls that most would claim to
be less than virtuous.

I developed an attitude that women were
scandalous, indecisive game players. It was
like they had all the control, and there was
no such thing as a good woman left.

The one word that would sum up my behavior
during this time is OVERCOMPENSATION.

I tried to act so cool that it seemed I wasn't even
excited to talk to a nice girl. I held my cards so
close to my chest that eventually they lost interest.

It was a vicious cycle. I found material of other
"dating experts" that honestly caused me go
into a downward spiral, but then I found yours.

There is so much to say, and not sure where to
start, but one MAJOR thing I need to mention
is that your material allowed me to relax, to stop
pressuring myself, and I started to focus on having
a good time and meeting new people. And at the
drop of a hat girls really started noticing me.

I'm no longer getting blown off, at all. So now
I can do the choosing. It's almost so simple that
it makes me nauseated to look back at how
incorrect my previous approach was.

Being masculine is just natural for a guy, but
I was pushing it to ridiculous levels, and the
women could smell it from a mile away.

I also want to recommend something else that
has helped me immensely. Burt Goldman has a
website www.theamericanmonk.com, which
involves almost one hundred meditation exercises
that can help you overcome fears, become motivated,
view others as equals, and just gain a positive
outlook on life.

You both come from the set of ideals. There are
good people left in the world and like attracts like.
The only person who ever held me back was myself.
You and Burt have helped me realize this.

Specific examples of what I learned: The best example
is that I reached a point of desperation. Which women
certainly smell on you like a foul odor.

After having my heart ripped to shreds a few times
I decided to change my ways, so I read a few ebooks
from different people about dating. They said, in so
many words, to become Mr. Cool. I became a robot.
Never showing emotion.  I overcompensated for my
own insecurities.

Every girl I approached could tell I was approaching
her for a reason. There was awkwardness dripping off
me. I was fearful in every approach, obviously because
I just knew I was about to face another rejection.

I really hit rock bottom. I found your material and
realized that I needed to work on myself first. Number
one was to stop being so hard on myself. Number two
was to learn how to have a good time and take as
many people with me as possible. Trying to be the best,
or funniest, or best looking, or smartest, is just plain BS.

I am who I am, and now I'm perfectly okay with that.
It's not about what you say to a woman, within reason
of course, but more about being sure of yourself and
comfortable with yourself. Being open and honest,
because THEN you gain the confidence to make
eye contact and say things with conviction.

The greatest part of all is that my once huge EGO
is now just a tiny voice. I don't approach women
anymore, things just sort of happen. Single women
are always scanning and they notice me and my
friends having a great time, relaxed and free.

One specific example is at a wedding reception I
got to the bar at the same time as one of the bride's
maids and said "Paper, rock, scissors" to see who
would get to order first. We've had several dates
since then. She has never blown me off, and never
will because I have hidden nothing from her.

She trusts me. When a woman trusts you it really
opens up a whole other realm of connection that
I never got to with women before, because in the
past I was too busy hiding my feelings from them.

My attitude has become very positive and it radiates
from me. I've noticed at work and among friends that
people pay more attention to me when I speak and
laugh more when I'm around. I no longer concentrate
on the details of an encounter with a woman, I just
let myself go, because honestly it's about NOT
GIVING A F&#@ what anybody thinks about you,
but not in an angry way, in a peaceful way.

I think I've rambled on enough michael. I apologize
if I didn't give you enough details, but I honestly just
changed my entire perspective, my entire paradigm
of reality. It's not so important that the next girl I meet
is the one I marry, or is my girlfriend because everyone
else around me has one.

It's about meeting new people and enjoying the
experience. You would be surprised how many people
will give you the reassurance you need just by the
look in their eyes when they are around you.

It's important to remember that we are all equals as
humans, just because you are the new cool guy
on the block doesn't make you any better than
anyone else. Cocky is fake, cocky is crap, arrogant
is just plain retarded. A woman wants to be
loved by a real man who knows that it's just
plain alright to be himself.

Thanks, J.M.
Louisiana

MY COMMENTS:


Thank you for sharing your experiences in
applying the materials- what I love best
is how now you are truly CHANGED on
a massive, DEEP level, a level that is truly
YOU that has changed, so that everything
you do now flows from who you have
BECOME, and it all comes out PERFECT.

So you don't need lines, you don't need
to fake, you don't need to do anything
now.  You have gone through the
TRUE transformation.

And this makes you extremely RARE.
And of course, this makes you more
VALUABLE.

Women are even better than men at reading
body language, and this ESPECIALLY applies
to a quality woman who is on the lookout for
a REAL MAN who has all the right personality
traits as well. 

This is backed up by evidence in a book called 
The Definitive Book of Body Language by
Allan and Barbara Pease.  One very revealing
and interesting point stated inside the book is
that women are much more perceptive about
body language than men.
  He reasons that this
is so because women have a much more heightened
awareness about body language and facial
expressions because it is a necessary skill for
mothering. 

Because infants obviously cannot speak, their
mothers have to be able to read them to know
whether they are happy, cranky, or in distress. 
 
The author goes on to state that this skill is
inherent with women and is used also in
general socializing situations as well, whereas
men tend to be more oblivious to this skill.


So you can see just how MASSIVELY important
it is that you are not a "player" who PRETENDS
or "plays" that he is some type of person that
he is really not, or who is anything other than
an real man of strength, of integrity, of courage.

To paraphrase and slightly adjust a line from 
Braveheart: Human beings follow COURAGE.

And women ESPECIALLY so.

And it takes courage to tell a woman how you
feel, just as it takes courage to also stand up
for what is the RIGHT thing to do, to calmly
SHOW a woman the RIGHT way to behave,
and it takes courage to WALK AWAY from
the WRONG woman, no matter how tempting
it might seem to be.

And yet, you MUST be this type of man, if
you want to attract a woman of EQUAL
courage, of equally strong character, of
true integrity.  She is TESTING you to
see how much of a man you are in the
most MEANINGFUL sense of the word-
and this has nothing to do with learning
cheesy lines, magic tricks, or "pick up
artist" routines.

Learning how to have the right body language
is about a lot more than learning "body language"
moves, contrary to popular belief.

It has to do with the way you LIVE, the way you
THINK, the way you FEEL.  ONLY by doing it
this way will your body language TRULY show
that you are THE MAN in the greatest sense.

I also want to say a big thanks to Alex regarding
this point- you know who you are!

And another thing she is testing for is to see
how DEVELOPED you are in your ability to
actually listen and understand another person-
not just her but people in general. 

It really is amazing how AWFUL most people's
listening skills are- without even realizing it,
most of us are not even properly HEARING other
people's sentences, because we subconsciously
allow our own biases to BLOCK out the words.

There is an incredible experiment where people
in white shirts and black shirts are passing a
basketball,
and the group watching is told
to watch for how many passes the white shirted
people are making.  Because they are so busy
watching the white shirts, at least 50% of the
people don't even NOTICE that a guy in a
GORILLA suit is walking right AMONGST
the people passing the ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most people have no clue of how biased their
perception is and how they have "tunnel vision".
Now, factor in things like fear, and fear of being
burned by a woman,  and things like a bad
experience with one or two women, and now
imagine how MASSIVELY that will distort
your communication with a woman, even if
she is AWESOME.

And imagine now much that will cause you to
REPEL just about all women, but ESPECIALLY
the very best of women who have worked on
this part of themselves and who realize how
damaging this is to any future relationship!!!!   
Such a quality woman will have zero tolerance
for this lack of communication skill.
  
I also want to quickly zero in on an important
insight regarding that total destroyer of
chemistry: OVERCOMPENSATION.

Yes, overcompensation is EXACTLY what
most people and most guys tend to do for any
insecurity, and the irony is that it actually
INCREASES the chance that that very fear
will come true, because overcompensation
behavior tends to attack the other or to
attack yourself:

So by not showing a woman any emotion, you
are showing that you don't trust her, and she
feels this, and now senses that therefore she
shouldn't trust you either. 

And if you overcompensate in the other direction,
i.e. "kissing up" well then you are showing that
you have no value, and you are delivering that
message to your own mind and that makes you
very insecure and that leads to you destroying
your natural charisma.  And that destroys
your ability to generate humor, to be cool
on every level. 

In, fact, black and white thinking, which I
explain in detail in my program, is a form of
OVERCOMPENSATION.

In order to create SIMPLICITY and to protect
ourselves from pain and risk, we come up with
these crazy OVER-SIMPLIFICATIONS, that
i.e. "all women are like this" or "all women
are like that".    "If you don't learn pick up
artist tactics, then all women will abuse
you and she will cheat with a pick up artist"
which is a favorite FEAR TACTIC the many
so called "experts on attracting women" love
to use on innocent men--of course, this FEAR
 that is bred into men by these supposed experts
actually DESTROYS these men's charisma.

Black and white thinking (also known as
"all or nothing" type thinking) is ALWAYS a sign
that a person is OFF the right track.  Real life
is never black and white. 

And in fact, a great woman will RECOGNIZE
"black and white" thinking patterns in you
if you are exhibiting them- whether they be
black and white perspectives on religion,
on women, on ANYTHING. 

All this is a part of MATURITY and of having
the courage to not need to hide under a
psychological blanket of lies that pretends
you can protect yourself if you just tell
yourself "all women are the same" and
thus supposedly avoid all risk.

In real life, there are all kinds of women,
and if you want to get a GREAT woman,
then you have to become a GREAT man,
and you have to be able to detect who is
a quality woman and who isn't.

And if you want to do that, then I suggest
you get my most advanced program on this
IMMEDIATELY. 

It's called WARRIOR WITHIN.

This program will show you the things you
need to know to actually GET a quality
woman, and nothing less.  And it will
do all this by actually enriching who
YOU are.  It has nothing to do with
changing women at all,  it has nothing
to do with learning "tactics" to get
a woman to change - that never works.

It has to do with making you about a billion
times more powerful in understanding her,
in unleashing your natural charisma, in
your ability to instantly get people to feel
FANTASTIC in your presence.  As the man who
wrote in says, it's about taking as many
people WITH you psychologically UP to a
fantastic place where the truth is,
EVERY HUMAN WANTS TO BE.

It's at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html

To find out all my programs for skyrocketing
your results with women, go here:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php

And I'll see you again here soon.

Till next time,

Michael Marks

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