the women they want is because they make these
women feel the need to have to RESTRAIN their
sexual power.
All the ass-kissing behavior toward hot women makes
these women feel the need to be "polite" to men,
which ironically is almost the opposite of all that is
SEXUAL.
All that 'nice' style behavior leads to being in the
FRIEND zone, where you get lots of POLITE
behavior from women.
What you WANT is to actually ENCOURAGE women
to let loose ALL THE POWER that women have, and
then SHOW women that not only can you HANDLE it,
but that you are actually living in an even MORE
powerful emotional plane of existence.
This is a plane of existence that WOMEN will have to
fight to keep UP with, which is what these super
hot women have NEVER experienced before.
Allow me to elaborate on this whole dynamic:
"Every battle is won or lost before it is ever fought."
The above is a famous quote Sun Tsu: The Art of War,
and there are definitely parallels to the art of
attracting women.
Now, I don't like to only look at attraction
and pick up as a "battle" because pick up can
actually be a lot of FUN, and ultimately win-win
for both you and the woman, but the fact is, if
the 'pick-up' has a chance of succeeding in the
first place, then it is usually won or lost before
it even begins.
This is because so much must already be
going on internally before you start, whether
you are new and CONSCIOUS of it at first,
or whether you are experienced and it's all
internalized and automatic.
A woman, just like a man, wants the best.
And immediately, when a guy starts
an interaction with a woman, if he is
controlling the frame and maintaining
the frame that he is superior, even if
done playfully, she will very often TRY
to PUT HER FRAME OF REALITY
onto HIM.
For example, she will try to get him to kiss
up, or she will try to show him she is in the
superior position, whether she does
this playfully, explicitly, or even brutally.
Now, let me say, if a woman ever acts in
a way that is TRULY insensitive, then
I would just SKIP her, but it's important
to realize that in a FIRST encounter with
a total stranger, a woman who is really
attractive can simply NOT make it TOO
easy, or she'd have to go out with
EVERY guy on Earth who talks to her!
PLUS, for a super smoking-hot attractive
woman, being a bit CHALLENGING is simply
her mode of FLIRTATION.
Remember, she is living in a reality where her
FRAME of existence, her PERSPECTIVE
on things is DIFFERENT from most people
when it comes to DATING.
She's not trying to be MEAN. She is coming
from a SUPER SECURE perspective, it's like
she is SUPERWOMAN and can KNOCKOUT
any guy by saying the wrong words unless she is
very careful.
Hence, she is often acting POLITE, with the guys
who kiss her ass. Not sexual, and not honest, but
POLITE.
When she meets a man who seems like he CAN
TAKE HER FULL POWER, she can't WAIT
to unleash and be playful and fun and challenging
BACK to him, but MOST MEN, if these men
even HAVE the guts to START being challenging
with her, these same men usually just BUCKLE
in "defeat" when she CONTINUES to be challenging
back, even in playful flirting form!
You see, SHE HERSELF can TAKE THE FLIRTING,
she can TAKE the challenge, she ENJOYS it all,
she is on a SUPERWOMAN level of confidence.
When it comes to her communication with most men,
she has to "PULL her punches".
She is like a RACE-CAR that ENJOYS
super challenging SPEED, and is actually
MORE COMFORTABLE in that reality
of power and speed, and so when you flirt
back with EQUAL power, you are conveying
the message that you are in the SAME reality.
However, since most guys are only
experiencing an emotional perspective
that is more like a GO-KART than a
FERRARI, they can't psychologically
FATHOM how this type of challenging
behavior is actually an attractive
woman's way of FLIRTING.
So most men resort to GO-KART light style
"kiss ass" communication, and then she responds
with POLITE and NON SEXUAL interest,
as she RESTRAINS her full power.
But if you show a lot more POWER, you
then begin to turn her ON, as she ENGAGES
you as an EQUAL and starts to LET LOOSE
her full power.
For example, a woman may tell a guy, in response
to his challenging comment to her, she may say,
"Does this work for you? This jerk act?"
So, the guy who is in GO KART perspective,
he feels intimidated, or hurt, or insecure.
The FERRARI perspective feels,
"IT'S ON!" with her, the FLIRTATION
dance has begun, the first step toward physical
intimacy is the playful vibes that ping-pong
back and forth between her and the man
who 'GETS' this on a deep internal level.
Here's another example:
Let's say you tease her on something about
her playfully. She may say something
back to you that seems to be in her
favor, i.e. if she is younger, she might
say, "Thanks, but I'm busy and you
are much older than me, bye grandpa!".
But REMEMBER, if she REALLY didn't want
to talk to you, she would SHUT DOWN, she
would not say ANYTHING to invite FURTHER
response from you.
Or she may say something like:
"So are these other girls that you know
(if you were at a club and chatting
with a bunch of women rather than
being a "Nice" guy who is sitting and
waiting for HER to finish talking to
HER entourage of guys) around you to
make you seem more impressive? I
think it's just sleazy."
Do you get the picture here? The basic
idea is that when you do the RIGHT
things to attract a woman, she may not
SHOW it with her WORDS, and in fact she
may RESIST what you are doing, and it's
even possible she might NOT LOVE it
at first.
On one hand, she doesn't LIKE it because
it means she is LOSING ground.
She is used to being the superior.
And it feels COMFORTABLE being
the superior.
She feels COMFORTABLE around the
guys who kiss her ass. She LIKES them.
Yet, you have to REALIZE that
LIKING is not the same as
FEELING ATTRACTION.
Not the same thing at ALL.
You don't want a woman liking you.
You want her attracted to you.
Liking is what she feels for her GIRLFRIENDS.
That's not what you want.
You want to IGNITE THE FLAMES OF ATTRACTION.
And she can ONLY feel attraction to a
man she can RESPECT.
And she can't respect the men who just
MELT for her.
Ultimately, from an ATTRACTION standpoint,
she WANTS you to be the man that FLIPS
the script on her normal routine of,
"I'm the hot woman here, I'm the one
who RULES!".
She wants to feel that YOU are the one
with SUPERIOR power, because only THEN
can she go into FULL FERRARI MODE,
and really feel free to FLOOR the accelerator
and challenge her FULL potential.
With all the guys who MELT around her,
she's forcing herself to constantly
have to RESTRAIN her full power,
to almost act like a GO KART with
all the 'nice guys' and be POLITE
with them, since they are GO KARTS.
With the man who understands all this,
and is emotionally feeling and behaving
even MORE POWERFUL THAN HER,
she can finally LET LOOSE and be
the FERRARI that she really IS!
And that includes being that crazy wild
FERRARI in the BEDROOM with you!
I know, I know, it all sounds politically
incorrect. But keep in mind, this does
NOT mean that she wants you to be MEAN
to her, especially AFTER she falls for you.
It does not mean that you can't show
sensitivity to her. In fact, my book
"Get A Great Girl" is CRUCIAL for
understanding exactly HOW all of THAT
fits into the context of pick up,
dating, and relationships.
But as far as SPARKING INITIAL ATTRACTION,
it's about behaving as one with superior value.
So, it's damn crucial that when she
RESISTS your frame of superiority,
you do not BUCKLE under her pressure.
So, for example, when she says,
"Does this work for you?" your
reply MUST be the REPLY of
a guy who KNOWS HE IS SUPERIOR.
So, if you are superior, I ask you
this - would you even TRY to
answer? If you knew you were
MORE desirable than her, would
you feel NERVOUS, would you
feel a need to prove your worth?
So here's an example of a reply that
shows your superiority:
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
You've FLIPPED it around here,
because the FRAME she was trying
to force on the situation was:
"You, mister, are a loser, because
you are just putting on an act and
in fact are not superior at all."
The non spoken verbal from her, is:
"And by the way, I see this act from
a lot of guys, and they are really little
ass-kissers as soon as I give them a
little attention- I OWN them."
So when you say back to her, with
congruency that flows from your
real beliefs, "Wouldn't you like to
know", you are implying that she
would like to know, and the only
reason anyone wants to know
anything is because they CARE.
And you can't CARE unless something
has VALUE. So the implication is that
she WANTS YOU.
And even if she at first DIDN'T, the fact
is, your CONGRUENCY (which means the level
of ONGOING consistency between the messages
of superiority from your words, your beliefs,
your tonality, your sense of humor, and your
actions at even the most microscopic levels
at all times is 100% ) by KEEPING UP THE
FRAME OF YOUR SUPERIORITY even
under her pressure will cause her to SHIFT
her feelings about you VERY QUICKLY.
This is why if you are needy, you can't
make it work, because if you are needy
for approval and affection, you simply
will buckle in one way or another,
even if it's not in your actual words.
For example, if you are needy for approval,
and she challenges your behavior, you
might start an ARGUMENT with her,
i.e. about how all women will SAY
that they don't want this behavior,
but that in reality they do respond to
this, and that you INSIST this is the
truth, and how it pisses you off that
women don't admit it.
And having such an argument is proof
that you are NOT superior, because it
shows you are losing control and getting
pissed for not getting what you want,
because you want it so badly, because
in fact you are not getting approval
from women. THIS IS WHAT
WOMEN WILL FEEL if you respond
with such a logical argument -they will
feel that you are not superior because
you have proved that they matter
so much as to get you all emotional
and in need of an argument to prove
yourself.
So, notice how the reply of:
"Wouldn't you like to know" is also
BRIEF.
Less words means you put less EFFORT
into it. And that means you are not trying
hard. And that means superiority.
So that's just ONE example of a response
to her question/comment of, "So does this
jerk act work for you".
As opposed to getting all nervous and
laughing nervously and saying ,"Why
not, I'm experimenting with new
things". And even THAT to be honest
CAN work once you understand the
power of delivery and how the words
themselves don't matter because
the delivery implies most of the
message. But still, I think that
understanding the power of the
wording of something like,
"Wouldn't you like to know"
really helps you understand the
GOAL you are shooting for in terms
of the message you want to be
sending.
You will notice an IMMEDIATE change
in her demeanor toward you if you
MAINTAIN your frame of superiority
while under her pressure and efforts to
destroy your frame. Keep in mind,
she is doing most of this subconsciously.
It's as simple as her wanting to cling
to her position of being in charge, which
is what she gets from most guys. And
all that she gets is a feeling of comfort,
but not attraction. But she does not
want to willingly give up the comfort for
attraction.
This is why no woman wants to have to
EXPLAIN to you how to be the man
that turns her on. If she has to explain
it, she feels you are NOT that man!
You MUST truly embrace this fact, she does
not WANT to give up the comfort of having
CONTROL. Human nature is such that
we work harder to prevent loss than we do
to achieve a gain.
So once you understand that she will
NEVER give up power unless she feels
ATTRACTION, and once you realize
that no matter how much you try to
get her to be ATTRACTED to you
by appealing to her sense of NICENESS
all that does is just make her feel even
MORE likely to want to keep you as
a FRIEND for comfort and not as a
MAN for attraction, you are then
ready to now take the RIGHT action.
You MUST realize that there is NO
POINT to trying to make her LIKE
you, (not yet anyway, that comes
after, the liking part comes AFTER
she is attracted, and it's important
then, but that's another topic) as
a method for getting her attracted.
You must instead ONLY focus at first
on getting her ATTRACTED. And that
has nothing to do, at first, with getting her
to LIKE you.
And if you keep up the frame of superiority,
she WILL feel attracted to you, whether she
WANTS TO OR NOT. In fact, she probably
WON'T WANT TO FEEL it and it may even
piss her off that she IS feeling attracted!!!
This is where some of the classic
movies have scenes where the
leading lady says something like,
"I hate you" and then she grabs
the guy and starts making out
with him hardcore.
Similarly, for the other situations
I mentioned, i.e. the "grandpa"
comment, it's crucial to immediately
reframe things by giving the response
that is congruent to the response
of a guy who is superior, which
sometimes is no response at all,
by the way.
But in the grandpa case, you could do
a whole lot of things, like, "Well the
whole reason I came over was because
in that hat you're wearing I thought you
WERE my granny. Anyway, I gotta get going
and eat some prunes, see ya!" And turn
around to walk away.
You see, this is the kind of thing you
would REALLY do if you FELT YOU
HAD THE VALUE. Number one,
you flip the frame around on her
and get her to question HER SELF.
After all, those who can dish it out
should be able to take it right back?
The only reason you previously thought
that you can't dish it back is because
you previously felt she was so precious
and so holy that you felt it was "unthinkable"
to dish it back.
But the part I think is even BETTER is
THE FOLLOW-UP, because when you
say you "have to eat some prunes", you
are TOTALLY SHOWING that you
are NOT AFFECTED at all, (you are
GOING with it rather than trying
to get all defensive) and that
in fact it's kinda FUNNY that she
would even say that to you!
And then, turning around to walk away,
is golden, because you are clearly not
walking away with your tail between
your legs, but rather walking away
laughing as if life is a barrel of fun,
which it IS for you, and you clearly
are on your way to have some more
fun and most likely meet a cooler
chick that GETS it.
And SHE realizes this as well, and I promise
you that in THE VAST MAJORITY
OF CASES, especially if the girl is HOT,
she will then start to chase YOU.
How do I know this stuff?
Because none of what I have mentioned
here in this newsletter is made up-
it's all real stuff that has actually
happened. I'm so absolutely confident
about it, that I urge you to go out
and try it.
You should actually look FORWARD to
situations where women are giving
you the CHANCE to show how awesome
you are by REFRAMING any challenging
comment in such a way that it reflects
YOUR superiority, because it's THIS
"reframing" that turns women ON.
What you've just read here is important
stuff, and yet it's just the TIP OF THE
ICEBERG.
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Till next time,
Michael Marks
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