What Turns Women ON

If you can make a woman feel intense
PLEASURE, she will be yours.

Pleasure is the reason we are attracted
to ANYTHING.

Now, the human mind is pretty sophisticated,
including women's minds. We are not going
to be attracted to just anything.

This goes back to evolution, because by
feeling the emotion of attraction toward
things that would help us survive, it gave
us an advantage.  It motivated us.

And being repulsed by things that were
bad for us also helped us survive.  It
kept us away from the wrong things.

i.e. Bad spoiled food. So by developing
an AVERSION to spoiled food.  So those
who felt it tasted HORRIBLE were more
likely to survive and replicate.

We also evolved to be ATTRACTED to foods
that were GOOD for us. So, for example,
those who had genes that enabled them to
perceiving fruit as tasting "sweet", were
motivated to find it and eat it.  And so
they too were more likely to survive
and replicate.

Of course, it doesn't always work perfectly,
as candy bars also taste good to us, because
candy bars are relatively new in human history,
and our brains haven't evolved yet to "NOT
enjoy candy bars but still enjoy fruit".

But the fact is, our brains have evolved in a
way where now we are HARDWIRED to be
attracted to certain things.  To perceive
them as "sweet".  And to be repulsed
by other things, to perceive them as
"yucky".  And everything in between.

So, the KEY to attracting a WOMAN is to do
EVERYTHING in your POWER to come
across as BEING DESIRABLE, according
to the emotional part of her brain.
 
So you have to INTERACT with a woman by
behaving in a way that CONVEYS MASSIVE
VALUE to her.

Most guys TRY to do this but do it all wrong,
so let's get clear on what value REALLY
looks like, sounds like, and feels like.

Behavior is not just your ACTIONS.
It's not just your words.

It's not just your voice tonality.

It's not just your clothing.

It's not just your attitude.

It's not just your BODY LANGUAGE.

It's not just your sense of humor.

It's not just the way you REACT to her.

It's not just the people she sees you
hang out with or don't hang out with.

It's not just the way you feel about sex,
i.e. comfortable or not.

It's not just how you make her mind
race trying to figure you out, or
wondering or fantasizing what might
come next.

It's not just how slow or fast you are
to validate her or to withhold validating
her.

It's not just how you touch her and how
calm or confident you are about it.

It's not just how MUCH you can control
THE FRAME of the situation.

IT'S ALL THE ABOVE AND MUCH MORE.

Every single thing about you, and every
single thing about the situation you are in
with a woman, can be used to make her
feel you are MORE DESIRABLE, or
if done wrong, to make her feel that
you are LESS desirable.

And the more desirable you seem, the
MORE PLEASURE she feels from getting
closer to you.  

This is why I am so ADAMANT about not
just sticking to ONE thing to over-simplify
the process. This is not the McDonald's of
attraction.

To be THE BEST, you have to understand
how ALL the components of attraction play
a role and you have to USE these components.

If you want the McDonald's style pick up
and attraction advice, there are a billion
other guys out there. If you want the
Rolls Royce, this is the place.

EVERYTHING, in fact, that happens while
you are chatting to a woman to pick her up,
or even if you've known her a long time
and she is your girlfriend, EVERYTHING
that is happening in the situation can be used
to make you MORE ATTRACTIVE or LESS
ATTRACTIVE.

If a woman is acting 'hard to get', that's not a bad thing!
ONLY YOUR REACTION TO IT COUNTS.

If you react the way a guy who is DESIRABLE acts,
then you become MORE ATTRACTIVE.

I'm not saying you have to LOVE a
woman who is acting like a b****,
but the fact is, a GREAT woman has
to be CAREFUL about which guy she
goes for, so she can't be EASY.

Your REACTION to her 'hard to get'
behavior tells her ALL the important
things she needs to know about your
CHARACTER, and your reaction will
make ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN
THE WORLD to her attraction to you.

If you act the way a guy who is NOT
DESIRABLE acts, then you become
LESS ATTRACTIVE.

Here's an example: A woman says something
like, "We don't talk to guys at clubs, we just
get free drinks from them!", and your reaction
is, "Cool, maybe you can work for me then,
I'm looking for some hustlers that have
ambition. But first, let's see how good you
are and get me and my buddy some drinks."

So her "act of superiority" backfires, because
the way you framed it, it's just a way that she
can possibly EARN your interest, but she has
to PROVE her worth to you still, and in fact
you're still the one with greater value in the
situation. And yet it's all fun and playful too,
which ALSO feels good. So there's attraction
pleasure going on, and fun times as well.

All this makes her attraction more intense,
because emotions feed energy into each
other. Not bad, and all done in a few seconds.
And she set herself up for it. And she's
feeling way more pleasure with YOU than
she is with all those guys who were kissing up
and trying so hard and being so serious.

And, it's VERY POSSIBLE to NOT TEASE
A GIRL and STILL pick her up SUPER EASILY.

Teasing is just ONE EFFECTIVE method,
because it's a natural OUTGROWTH of
you KNOWING YOU ARE DESIRABLE.

Because you are feeling an abundance of
good vibes internally and feeling you are
so desirable, that energy shows and is
ATTRACTIVE. This makes you not
worried about women's reactions to you,
so you become PLAYFUL with women,
instead of being so serious and formal.

This is why a mean spirited tease doesn't work.
Because it's not a sign of value, it's a sign of
an angry guy or a socially retarded guy.
Anger is usually a sign of loss or fear
or insecurity as well. All signs of
LACK OF VALUE. So the hard-wiring
in her brain is REPULSED by it.

It's a fine line between feeling value, and feeling
arrogant to the point of being a prick - which is not
attractive. Practice on real women makes perfect,
as you get a better feel for it and your calibration
skills grow.

But in general, guys are trying SO HARD to
VALIDATE a woman that hasn't done anything
to deserve that, she simply LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
And a woman senses that a guy that behaves that
way must be LOW VALUE. It's her EMOTIONS
that sense this, not her logic so much.

This is why NOT VALIDATING a woman
who is attractive is such a powerful thing.
It creates a TENSION, the same kind of
tension that YOU feel regarding the fact
that a woman who is beautiful is HARD
to get.

Believe me, if it was raining women
who were gorgeous on you everyday
and they just wanted to kiss up to you,
you would get bored. You actually
value women more because they are
hard to get, because they don't try to
validate you. Of course, there is a limit
to this, as too much is too much, there
has to a PAYOFF, where she DOES show
some interest, where you DO get the girl,
or she is JUST a tease.

Similarly, when you tease a girl, literally or
figuratively, it's not to tease her permanently,
it's to create the tension in her so now she
WANTS to be validated by you. That way,
your interest in her feels good for her.

THAT'S what leads to her interest and sexual
desire, etc. Similar to what makes YOU want
to be with her.

So that's why when you don't give a woman
who is attractive what she wants so fast, it's
cool. The idea though is to do it matter of factly,
not MEANLY. Or do it in a humorous way.

So, if she asks you for the time and you
are at the bus stop, you say how much do you
want to give me for it, etc. If she's at the
gym and she's all hot after a workout and
buying herself a water bottle, you make fun
of her for pouring water on herself to make it
look like she's trying to workout. And it's
not done with "vengeance", it's done out of
VALUE, YOUR VALUE, and PLAYFULNESS.

When you don't validate a girl easily,
it's FUN for her, her hard-wiring feels
there's something of VALUE here,
i.e. YOU. And she wants to get it.
Again, a fine line between doing this
too much and doing it too little.

And the thing is, I don't even think about
it anymore. It's just a form of communication,
I'm not even trying to always pick up a girl,
it's just the way I feel.

So for example, I was at the bank, and this
hottie teller who's not even my teller but far
away, is being consulted by my teller for
something. So the hottie makes a mistake
and the hottie tells me all the way from where
she is that she made a mistake, and she says
she's so dizzy, hearing voices in her head.

So I tell her, loud enough so that everyone
can hear, "must be those recreational drugs
you keep on using" and I say it with a serious
face, but she KINDA KNOWS I'm joking
because the tonality is so matter of fact
that for sure I'm NOT being serious.
Her jaw drops, THEN she laughs, and she
says, "Don't say that! These people
don't know, they think you're serious!"
But as she says it, you can tell she's
ENJOYING it.

So I go "Who's joking?" AGAIN
in a deadpan serious way. Which
is actually funnier, because it's
more extreme of an accusation
which makes the whole thing
NOT true. She gives that big
smile, and she "GETS IT".

I'm just like this all the time, it
translates into everything I do,
including when I decide to dabble
for fun on the net and have some
fun with women on dating sites.
I put up a profile, usually without
even putting a picture, and I get
"hot listed" usually by women who
are the most attractive on the site.
Because the profile is just me being
this same way, from my profile name
to my description to whatever I write.

Instead of SAYING "I am great and sexy
and fun" they FEEL it from reading it.
i.e. I make jokes about how I have an
eternal erection and that it's really tough
and that every girl thinks I like her, even
if I don't, and that I have to tell her
"It's not you, it's ME". Stuff like that.

THEY GET IT.
Because they FEEL the vibe of value,
of non-neediness, of sexuality, of playfulness,
the message behind the message.
They are LAUGHING AND FEELING
it, instead of reading "I am great".

And, in a way, even with guys I know, i.e.
at the gym, I'm just a playful, confident, fun
dude. No, not because I'm trying to pick them
up, although we actually bust on each other
about that stuff too,- i.e. "You hardly spot me
anymore! You don't like my spots? I saw you
spotting a few other guys- you're a
SPOT-WHORE!" because we are SECURE
in our masculinity, unlike most guys.

This is the VIBE.
And women pick up on it when they
are around us, it's ATTRACTIVE
to women, even though we really
aren't even TRYING.

It works because we are secure, and because
we are having FUN. We are not looking
for approval, but we are not jerks, in
fact we actually have a certain amount
of trust going on. Like at the gym,
we bust on each other all the time.

So the same vibes of security, feeling
trust and confidence that the other person
will "GET it", and the playfulness is there,
all this is the same stuff that works on
women, except you also add the PHYSICAL
ESCALATION with women and the sexual
vibes state that you need to be in, and you
add just the right amount of DOMINANCE
at the right time - at the beginning, and when
transitioning things to the next level of
escalation.

And that's just a BEGINNING of an
interaction. But the beginning COUNTS,
because you are ESTABLISHING
THE FRAME. So if I open a set of girls
ANYWHERE, coffee shop, club, store,
anywhere, the very FIRST words are
ALSO said with the tonality that makes
the frame CLEAR: "This is my world,
it's a great world, I'm laid back, and
I'm inviting you in by the mere fact I'm
talking to you, without making it a formal
ass-kissing invitation."

Sometimes, the girls seem a bit confused
at that VERY FIRST second, because this
doesn't happen to them everyday, so they
aren't sure what's going on. I don't abandon
ship. I STAY ON COURSE, and just KEEP
ON GOING with it, and they "get on board"
fast.

What a lot of guys do is they try to
act cool with a tease, but have nothing
to follow it up with. Because they are
too focused on the ACT of teasing, and
not focused on the PRINCIPLE of
feeling secure and SUPERIOR SELF
VALUE. The mere act of WORRYING
about what she thinks so much so that
you can come up with the perfect thing t
o say next is something she CAN DETECT
because she has seen the various forms of
insecurity a million times in other guys.

And she detects that you are trying so hard
for her, TOO HARD, too fast before even
KNOWING HER AT ALL, before she has
done anything to DESERVE that effort.
So THAT implies to her subconscious
that you are NOT WORTH MUCH.

So her brain feels NO PLEASURE.

At EVERY point in an interaction with
a woman from meeting her the first time
all the way to sex and beyond and even
into a serious relationship, there is the way
a guy with VALUE would act and the way
a guy without value would act.

So if you are at a club and have gone up
to a girl or group of girls and teased them
and then you are chatting with the girl
you like most, and you tell her to come
sit down with you where it's quieter,
and she resists, how do you react?

Does it AFFECT your sense of self-worth?
Or are you COMPLETELY COOL and still
feeling the sexual vibes inside of you and
feeling good and you chat her up some more
and then GO FOR IT AGAIN? That would
be a decent strategy. Or, another strategy
that would be cool would be to just be
more dominant in your OWN FRAME
about the idea of her going with you.

Because if YOU think it's a big deal, that
means that YOU FEEL SHE HAS SUPERIOR
VALUE, so when she resists going, you think
she is actually doing the RIGHT THING for
herself, since you don't feel you have the value!
So you actually feel GUILTY about trying to
get her to come sit down with you!

But if you DID FEEL YOU HAD THE VALUE,
then you would feel it's in HER interest to come
with you! Because SHE would be having a great
time. So then instead of feeling GUILTY, you
would be smiling and maybe wink at her, and
take her hand while looking in her EYES and
say "don't deprive yourself!"

GET IT?

And when you DO take her hand, don't take
it like a GIRL. Take it like a MAN.
I used to be scared I might crush a girl's
hand because I work out so much, but then
I realized that the worst thing that ever happens
if I DO hold her too firmly is the girl thinks
I'm JOKING and she tries to SQUEEZE
BACK as hard as she can and laughs.
So it's all good, as they say, since it only
adds to the FUN vibes.

Superiority. Value. Fun. Sexuality.
DOMINANCE.

These are actually ALL FORMS OF
PLEASURE for a woman when you
convey them.

And that is what you want to give a woman.

Another important note on pleasure:

SEX is obviously one of the HIGHEST forms
of pleasure. So, do you realize how
HORRIFYINGLY TERRIBLE OF A MISTAKE
IT IS TO COME ACROSS AS TOO "NICE"
by avoiding any sexual undertones to your
interaction? Or by COMING ACROSS
as "too NICE for HARDCORE sex"?

A woman ALREADY has to deal with cultural
brainwashing of feeling like a slut if she is
too "easy", so if you are going to ALSO
have "issues" with sex, by not being in
a sexual state yourself, or by avoiding
any sexual content to your conversation,
she will feel that things are going to be
VERY RESTRICTED AND NOT FUN
WITH YOU IN THE BEDROOM.

And of course, when you DO get to
to the bedroom part, you have to
realize that all that "not wanting to
be a slut" fear is something that
goes out the window - if you have
issues in the bedroom, if you feel
bad about sex, how the heck is
SHE going to feel good about it???

So you see, at EVERY stage of the interaction,
it's ALWAYS about increasing the PLEASURE,
it's about making her feel greater and more
INTENSE emotions- this is why creating
that CONNECTION with her is also important,
because it makes the experience of being with
you MORE INTIMATE, more meaningful.

But don't think for one SECOND it's
connection for connection's sake. It's
about how that can make the whole experience
even more of a RUSH. Sex with a girl you
are not only ATTRACTED to, but who you
also feel CONNECTED TO, feels WAY
MORE INTENSE.

It's the same for a girl when it comes to how
SHE feels.

One last point on pleasure for now- in general,
we want MORE AND MORE of it, not less
and less. So, once things are heating up with
a woman, whether it's your opening up of the
conversation, the teases, the contact, don't
RUIN it by going backwards into INFERIOR
GUY MODE, i.e. "playing it emotionally
safe for yourself"

This is what happens with so many guys,
they are finally making progress and getting
somewhere, they are getting how all this works,
the girl is getting attracted, but then the guy
starts to get TOO DEPENDENT ON THE
OUTCOME and he starts to get needy for
it, and he displays the characteristics of
inferiority instead of BEING THE MAN!

So, if she's laughing, she's sitting down
with you, you're holding her hand, kissing,
whatever it is, KEEP IT GOING to the
NEXT LEVEL as much as possible.

That doesn't mean to make out with her
non stop at the bar, and it doesn't mean
to KEEP ON TEASING her non-stop.
That's not what I mean at all. What I
mean is take things to the NEXT level
of the interaction. You kind of KNOW
in your gut when it's time to move on
from the opener, when it's time to
go into rapport, when it's time to
hold her hand, when it's time to
kiss her, when it's time to escalate
to sex. You have to MAKE it
happen, and not stay in the
"emotional zero-risk zone".

But like I said, what happens is that guys
have this guy idea in their minds that their
VALUE is at stake, so they don't want
to screw up. That's just more society
brainwashing though, because in fact
going for it is the way to get good.

But guys let the ego control them, they are
AFRAID of getting rejected by going for
the NEXT STAGE, be it leaving with her,
or kissing her, or whatever it is that comes
next. But the whole way you GOT to the
good situation in the first place was by
NOT following your fears, but rather
following what you DO WANT.

You CAN'T WIN by adopting the
"fear" strategy of "staying where
you are because you got somewhere
and you don't want to RUIN it".

The WORST THING that happens from
GOING for it is that maybe she resists.
THAT'S FINE. First of all, it's usually
only TEMPORARY, it just means she's
not ready to escalate right that SECOND.
In three minutes from that time, she may
very well be TOTALLY RECEPTIVE
to your escalation again.

And no matter what, you'll improve your
calibration and sense of timing for next time.

And the best thing that happens, is that you
get EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT and have the time
of your life. And the reality is that with
this technology that I am teaching, it's
actually FAR MORE LIKELY to get what you want,
than to get the opposite reaction.

This newsletter has touched on a TON of
CRUCIAL elements of attraction. And as you
can tell, ONE of the BIG ones is developing
the SKILL of a super-confident sense of HUMOR.

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Till next time,

Michael Marks