How To Be DOMINANT With Women

If you're a guy, maybe you've heard
that DOMINANCE is important for
attraction. But the problem is,
most guys tend to make one of
two mistakes with dominance-
either they think it's about being
controlling, or they think that
being dominance is the "wrong"
thing to be with a woman.

Both those ideas are misguided.
The following letter from a reader
represents the problem most
guys have, and also actually
shows the mistake most guys
are making:  

**LETTER**

Hey Michael,

I've been reading your articles and finding that
I can get a girl's number or email after chatting
a bit with her and using some humor, but I notice
that things fizzle out after a date or two.

Suddenly, they have other plans, or they tell me
they met someone, etc. I get the feeling that
I must be something wrong from the time of
getting a girl's number to the actual dates,
because this keeps happening to me over and
over again. I try to keep things going smoothly
on the dates, I try to keep the conversation going,
etc. I really don't give the women any reason to
not want to go out with me again. Any ideas to
help me out?

Terence,

Vancouver

****MY FEEDBACK****

I'm glad that you're putting the advice into action,
but there is something very, very important that
you are missing here: You mention how you
"try to keep things going smoothly", trying to
"keep the conversation going" and how "you
don't give the women any reason" to not want
to go out with you again.

Ironically, you have already actually
HIT THE NAIL ON THE PROVERBIAL HEAD.

You have just stated what you are doing WRONG.

What is this thing that you are doing to SABOTAGE
(albeit unknowingly) your success?
I'll tell you: You are trying to "FIT IN" with HER.
In other words, she gets the feeling SHE is leading
the show here. She feels SHE is dominant.

I'm not saying to try to start arguments, but
I get the sense you are trying TOO hard, as
if the paradigm was that she was the SUN
and you were the planets orbiting around.
As if SHE is the CENTRE.

Again, I want to prevent confusion:
It's not that you should act like some
big-shot, it's that you need to be
CENTRED, you need to develop
a stronger and more fleshed out
self-concept, so that you are not
internally feeling that you are
revolving around her or that you
NEED to revolve around her.   

Get ready for this: If there is one thing
that turns women OFF more than anything
else, it's a man with a lack of DOMINANCE.

And an attractive woman can smell a lack of
dominance like a shark smells blood.

This is one of those unspoken truths that
should be explained to all males on the planet
earth as part of their formal education.

Again, I want to prevent problems in being
misinterpreted here. Most guys totally misunderstand
what dominance really is. It's not about being a
tight-ass or an insecure control freak.

Dominance is about taking control because you
already feel COMFORTABLE making a decision.
Whether it's where to sit, where to go, etc.
You make DECISIONS rather than wait for
her to make them for you.

And the way to do this is from a POSITIVE standpoint,
not from a standpoint of "I am in charge" but rather
because you know she enjoys the fact that you are a
MAN and not afraid to LEAD the show.

Also, there is another dimension to this:
When you are ALREADY pretty damn happy
about your life, you are feeling so good, that
you aren't even WORRIED about "what if" she
doesn't "like" what you're doing. If she doesn't
like something, you can relax, she can always
TELL you! 

And you see, people are naturally attracted to
those who are already happy and content, because
everyone wants more of that in their own life.

This is why it's so important to have a REAL LIFE,
things BESIDES women.  In fact, they should be
even MORE important than women.

And, it's REALLY powerful if you are in an
ENVIROMENT of people who share your passions. 

Even though the wizardry is a major passion for me,
the reality is that I have other creative areas that I am
JUST as passionate about, and I wouldn't give up for
a BILLION dollars.  These things totally immerse
my mind and enhance me personally and actually help
me understand all human beings better. 

So when I walk away from these things, and I happen to
meet a woman, I actually am not coming from a place
of need.  I really AM coming from a place of curiosity,
and a place of wanting to GIVE awesome emotions to.
I feel an insane amount of awesome emotions in me,
and I want OTHERS to feel it too.
(I'm human of course, sometimes negative
emotions slip up on anyone, but I try to redirect
my focus on something more productive and
important and fun.)

When I chat up a woman, I really am NOT looking
for anything in return.  Sure, I am thinking it would
be FUN, but I am not NEEDY for it, or even
consciously thinking "how do I GET her".

SERIOUSLY!
The fact that people are INTERESTED in the
topic is ALREADY GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME! 
So if woman is giving me good convo and vibes,
that's really the point, and everything else is
just a logical by-product.  After all, I'm a guy,
she's a girl, we like each other, so it just
makes sense to continue things.

See, I REALLY AM about VIBING.
I LIKE VIBING.
So from there, if there really is something that I feel
is a cool connection as well, then I will go for it
AUTHENTICALLY, and it will WORK.

Keep in mind, that I am a pretty damn curious guy,
so I can make almost ANY person, ANY woman,
an AUTHENTIC CONNECTION.

Please, if you don't believe me, come out
to a BOOTCAMP, and have proof before
your very eyes.

This stuff is not about controlling women at all.
DOMINANCE is about DOMINANCE over
your own life. 

Do you know what you CARE about?
Do you know what is IMPORTANT to you?
Are you getting PASSION out of your own life?
Are you giving into WEAKNESS AND NEEDINESS?
Every time you give in to a "needy" emotion, you
only make the neediness STRONGER.

When you get control over yourself this way,
you are able to be a lot more dominant with
women in a POSITIVE sense.  You can
make decisions quicker, because they are
GOOD decisions.  You can choose places
to go, because you have a sense of
TASTE, a taste for things that are
cool.

You've developed this side of yourself.

You have to have a PATH that MATTERS
to you.  And STICK to it.  And CARE
about it. THAT'S attractive. When you
have that, you can be a lot more dominant,
because you don't have time to WASTE
in life, since YOUR life is meaningful
to YOU.

And this NATURALLY shows "VALUE"
to her EMOTIONAL SENSORS, not just
her cerebral sensors, which are useless
for attraction.  EMOTION counts, logic
is USELESS when it comes to this stuff.
    
All this gets CONVEYED through SUBTLETIES
in your gestures, movements, voice tone, language,
and facial expressions. I state "subtleties" because
it's all in the DETAILS....

It's an ATTITUDE.

Being dominant with women isn't easy
when you grow up being told for most
of your life that women want a man who
is WEAK and overly "SENSITIVE",
who is so obsessed with being considerate
of her wants and desires that HE himself
gets ERASED in the process.

It ain't easy when you grow up being told
that women want "equality", as if you were
supposed to **NOT** BE AS COOL AND AS
POWERFUL AS POSSIBLE -- AND AS
COOL AS YOU REALLY WANTED TO
BE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!! 

WHAT HOGWASH.
And it ain't easy when you're told that only
"jerks" disregard women's desire for total equality.
This is a huge topic, but let me give you some
examples of things you might see in a dominant
man: Men who are dominant tend to smile at a
woman at very DIFFERENT times and for very
DIFFERENT reasons than men who aren't dominant.

Men who are NOT dominant will smile in a way
that shows they are "trying to fit in" with a woman.

In other words, agreeing to everything she is
saying for the SOLE PURPOSE OF AGREEING.

Or nodding a lot, WITH A SMILE.
And laughing at all her jokes, even if they're
not funny.
And just smiling sometimes for NO REASON,
other than the fact the guy is SO HAPPY to be
with this beautiful woman in front of him.

I'm NOT saying that you shouldn't smile or
laugh with a woman, but only do it if you
would smile and laugh at the same things
she is doing even if she was also 300 POUNDS.

Because otherwise, you are really just
kissing her ass. A guy who is dominant might
smile at a woman in a SLY WAY if he just
busted on her big time. And even then, he
might not.

Because for him, he is so USED TO
getting the responses he wants, that it
takes a little more to make him react.
He's not angry, he's just not reacting,
because it's not such a big deal. In
fact, he's just chilled out, he's not
being MEAN to her.

It's like "Of course she is enjoying
being with me- what's the big deal."
A guy who is dominant makes decisions
with women. He does NOT say
"Honey, it doesn't matter to me, where
would YOU like to go?"

He does not get steered off course when
women test him on his commitment to
those decisions. I know many women who
have confidentially told me that when a guy
asks for their number, they will purposely
say they don't give out their number,
JUST TO SEE IF HE IS DOMINANT
ENOUGH TO NOT TAKE ONE "NO"
for an answer.

In other words, they want to see, "Is this
the kind of guy who means BUSINESS,
or is he wishy washy?" Women don't
mind giving out their numbers, emails,
etc, but they want a man WHO ISN'T
A PUSHOVER.

If he doesn't mean business about THEM,
he probably doesn't mean ANYTHING
with anyone, including his commitments
to HIMSELF.

Subconsciously, THAT'S what she's thinking.

Now, I think that some guys may have a
bit of a dilemma: They really are just
happy-go-lucky guys who smile a lot.
My advice for them is to hold back a bit
when they first meet a new woman or
the smiling behavior will be misinterpreted
as weakness.

Dominance also means NOT LISTENING
to every complaint that women give you,
since half the time, women are complaining
only to see if you will kiss their ass! If you
ever sense that a woman's complaint is
sounding like an attempt for control, you
better make sure to stick to your guns
(unless she points out a valid criticism, etc)
or you will find that she will start to nag you
even MORE....all to see if you are losing
your touch as THE MAN.

Your BODY LANGUAGE also conveys
your dominance or lack of it. If you tell a
woman "I will not accept x behavior",
but you are at the same time looking down
at the floor, or are fidgeting your hands
it's like you've destroyed any impact your
words could have had. If you are speaking
with a woman, if you are nervous, your
facial muscles will often clench, your
forehead will wrinkle, your eyebrows
will be raised in alarm, etc.

Now, by consciously CHANGING your
PHYSIOLOGY, and by RELAXING those
facial muscles, you will ACTUALLY
CHANGE YOUR PSYCHOLOGY as well,
and truly start to feel more relaxed.

So watch your facial expressions and
consciously relax them, and soon you will
actually feel more calm and confident in
front of her.

Listen, if you think I am exaggerating,
think about this: The CIA has special
agents trained in lie detection. They
don't look only at a person's WORDS
to tell if he is lying. The behaviors that
give away someone as a liar may be as
simple as a person tapping his foot against
the floor. Such "evidence" is known as
a LEAK, since the truth is LEAKING...

These experts look at everything from
body language to body temperature to
heart rate.

Now, attractive women are SO
EXPERIENCED WITH DATING,
and have gone out with SO MANY
MEN, that these women have "seen it all"
and are pretty darn good at telling which
men are full of it and which men are the
real deal. These women can see the "leaks".

They KNOW when a man is confident
and when he is just acting, because they
have seen the "signs" a million times.
These women look at your body language,
your facial expressions, your nose and
forehead as they wrinkle in tension.
They hear your rising submissive tonality.

So pay very, very careful attention to being
TOTALLY CONGRUENT in your facial
expressions and body language.

Being dominant also means not willing to
compromise on your principles. One thing
I notice: The more compromises you make
regarding your own values in order to
"keep a woman happy", the GREATER are
the chances she will grow MORE irritated
and bored and not sexually interested.

On the other hand, the greater your standards,
the less you compromise, the more control
you take, the BETTER a woman will treat you,
appreciate you, and feel sexual desire for you.

Here's another thing about men who are
dominant: They don't feel the need to talk too
much, they don't need to become chatterboxes
to "sell" themselves. They don't need to qualify
themselves to a woman, these men behave as
if it's the woman who must qualify herself.

It's about being the type of man who is in control
of his own emotions and his own life.

He who conquers his own heart, who is in control
of his own emotions, is the real victor in life.
Women can't stand a man who is always
complaining and whining about his problems.
Not only is it a bore, but it's a sign of him being
UNABLE TO COPE, and the most important
sexual criteria for a man has been his ability to
survive and pass that ability on to his children.

I know a lot of guys who feel that part of being
with a woman is to be able to share your sorrows
and your triumphs with her- well, save the
sorrows till after you have already celebrated
your 1 year anniversary, because otherwise
you'll never get to that point. (and even then,
keep the whining to a bare minimum).

This goes back to forces beyond our conscious
control. It stems from what was from an
evolutionary point of view, the mark of a man
who could SURVIVE and provide SURVIVAL
for his family.

DOMINANCE was part of that sign of such
a man, and for a man, was far more sexy
(read: useful for survival and hence an
element of adaptation) than the notion of
"being considerate" or "sensitive".

And if you want to know more about this and how
ELSE to be TOTALLY successful with women, I suggest
you get my most POWERFUL program for getting the
most FANTASTIC quality women on the planet.  This
is a DVD Set called "Warrior Within".

I spent years observing and researching what works
for real men in the real world. It was a process that
required me to actually experiment with the ideas
myself to know if they worked or not. If an idea
or concept did not work consistently, it did not
make it into the program. The result is a work that
I honestly feel is the most solid, all-in-one powerful
program on attracting quality women that has ever existed.

There's no hypnosis involved, no tricks, just solid
material that works. You don't have to be a comedian
to make it work, either.

This program is NEW content, the most evolved and
powerful content I have ever created, and it is not
a rehash of other programs. 

Everything you need to know is clearly explained
inside. I give you the most effective step-by-step
details on how to approach women and get their numbers
and emails, how to get physical, and how to get her to
want to see you again and again. I've explained everything
in a way that is thorough, yet NOT COMPLICATED
to understand.

This is the program for guys who are sick and tired of
being the good guy who gets left out.

It's at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html

If you would like a personal consultation
with me on ANY matter related to dating
or relationships, you can do that now
by going here:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/PrivateCoaching.html

Make the decision to become more successful
with women NOW. You really can have success
with women- it's up to you now to make that
choice.

Till next time...

Michael Marks