Most Important Thing For Success With Women

One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself when it comes to skyrocketing your success with women is to have something else in your life that gives you a deep sense of meaning and inner peace; something that also requires your full focus and means even more to you at this point in your life than any woman does.

(I say “at this point” because there is a difference when a woman has earned a higher priority to you over time as she, for example, becomes your partner and you raise children together, or you have developed a special relationship over years.  This is very different than just feeling attraction for a woman or for women in general.)

So, for example, if you are involved in some type of organization that helps people in some way. Or if you are an artist or writer or performer.  It can be so many different types of things, but the common thread is that you must connect something that you are good at in your life to something much larger than yourself, so that you are using your talents to connect to humanity in a powerful way.

Let’s call this part of your life the part that gives you a deep sense of meaning.

Now, you might be wondering why having a deep sense of meaning has anything to do with approaching a woman,  starting up a conversation with her, and attracting her.

A deep sense of meaning is so important to your success with women for MANY reasons, and those reasons are probably not what you think.

Some people think it is simply to have something to talk about to a woman, or to show off to a woman about. But those things are NOT the reasons why having a deep sense of meaning is so important for your success with women.

The reason it’s so important is because your STATE OF MIND is the KEY element in attracting a woman. The better of a state you are in, the better you will do. 

This is not only because positive emotions are attractive since states of mind are catchy, it's also because positive emotions help prevent you from seeing things in a distorted light, and prevent you from doing all kinds of things that will sabotage your success with women, be it the initial approach or the relationship long after the initial approach.

So, if you are in negative state of mind, you can interpret all kinds of innocent or even good things in a way that is negative.  You can interpret a woman's words as meaning something bad when they mean something good. 

I'm not saying to wear rose-colored glasses, I'm saying that most human beings tend to have a negative bias, and it is usually the result of negative emotions.  Change the emotion, and the perspective changes. 

Most people think the opposite-that the situation needs to change, and then their emotions can change but the truth is that very often it's the emotion that needs to change first, which then allows the person to see the situation properly. 

And when it comes to attracting women, it's pretty easy to have a negative bias and to start truly thinking and feeling that things are bad even if the truth is they aren't. So it becomes crucial that you are in the best state of mind possible.     

Now, when I say “state of mind” I don’t mean that you have to be feeling ecstatic like you just won the lottery. To be honest with you, that kind of state of mind, which is known as pleasure, is actually NOT the most powerful, deep sense of happiness one can experience.

For example, studies measuring happiness from TONS of perspectives, have clearly shown that people who win the lottery, after only THREE MONTHS, are actually NOT one bit happier than they were before winning the lottery. For more details on this, and on achieving happiness in general, please read the works of Dr. Martin Seligman.

There are deeper levels of happiness than that type of pleasure. For example, when you are totally engaged in some activity, where time seems to freeze because you are so immersed, this is an even more rich state of mind, often known as being in “flow” state.

And yet, there is an even HIGHER level of happiness, a feeling that is deeper, and longer lasting, than simply feeling the ecstasy of a moment, or the taste of sugar or chocolate or an adrenaline rush. It is the feeling that comes from having a deep sense of MEANING and from engaging in what you feel is a deeply meaningful activity.

When you are in this state of mind, you AUTOMATICALLY do the following four absolutely VITAL things for attracting women:

1.  You Come Across As MANLY

A woman picks up on your state of mind. She senses that you are not emotionally fragile, that you are not in desperate need of an emotional boost, that you don’t need her approval.     

This is very attractive because it signals to a woman that you are internally STRONG.

It signals to her that you cannot be thrown off course very easily, since no one can emotionally get you under their control.

So in that sense, it is quite MANLY. And it lets her know that if you are in her life, you will be a positive part of it.

2. It Allows You To Be Chilled Out/Natural And Still Succeed

You’ve probably heard how women say they just want guys to be themselves and not put on an act, but the confusion for men comes from the fact that this doesn’t work for so many guys.

Well, the reason women advise men to be themselves instead of putting on an act is because so many guys try so hard to impress women, that the guys end up trying to act smarter, richer, funnier, more sophisticated, kinder, etc., than they really are- and women can often TELL it’s fake, but they often don’t know that the only reason most guys do this is because they LIKE the woman. 

Women hear so many horror stories about creepy men in the news that it makes many women feel they can’t take a chance with a guy who is a stranger and who is giving off any wrong vibes.  Many women don’t know that most guys who are putting on an act are actually NOT trying to trick or abuse women.

However, you avoid this whole problem altogether when you are in a deeper sense of happiness and inner peace- the kind that comes from having a sense of greater purpose and connection to humanity.

And by the way, if you are an introvert and you think this doesn’t apply to you, the evidence seems to say the opposite- it says it will very likely improve your state of mind on a deep level. So before you give in to doubts, let the science prove itself for you by you trying it out for real. 

 

The reason this works so powerfully to make you chilled out and natural, is because feeling nervous is the result of chemicals in your body that make you feel that way.  But if the natural chemicals that make you feel GREAT are in your system, you perceive the whole act of approaching women in a positive light, and so you are not nearly as nervous, if nervous at all, when you approach a woman. You already know that whatever happens, it won’t make a big difference to your general state of inner peace.

If the interaction goes exactly as you might like, it might ENHANCE your state of mind, but even if it doesn’t go at ALL as you might have planned, it won’t RUIN your state of mind.

So, when you approach a woman anywhere, you aren’t afraid of being yourself. You are so calm, that you are totally COMFORTABLE approaching a woman anywhere, and telling her that you wanted to say hello, or even that you found her attractive and that you wanted to know if there was more to her as well.

Although in general I don’t suggest guys go up to women giving women compliments on their looks, the truth is that your TONALITY and your BODY LANGUAGE really filter everything you say, so you can indeed say something regarding the fact you found her attractive, IF you say it in a way that shows your life does not depend on her approval of your statement or her approval of you.

And by the way, when I say this whole concept of not seeking approval, it doesn’t mean that you are trying to be MEAN and that you don’t care at all what she thinks as if she is your enemy or anything. It just means that you aren’t desperate for that approval because you are already in a very stable and positive place psychologically.

And that too may require my clarification since the whole concept of being positive is mostly misunderstood.  People think it means doing cartwheels and shouting with glee and feeling ecstatic, but the truth is that kind of feeling lasts only minutes or seconds, and does not affect you for long, whereas a sense of meaning and connection affects you virtually all the time in a powerful way.

3. It Helps You Be Congruent

Related to the idea of being natural, being congruent means being consistent on all levels. So for example, it means that the way you are talking matches up to what you are doing, wearing, thinking, etc. 

If a guy is nervous about losing a woman’s interest or is nervous about trying to impress a woman, he will do contradictory things-for example, he might say how much he is into reading books in order to impress a woman, but then when she asks him what the last book he read was and he doesn’t have an answer, it gives off the wrong impression.

Also, if a man is already experiencing a deep sense of inner peace, he can more clearly think about what he wants to do in his life and how he wants to spend his energy and time, and he can be consistent in those decisions.

He has less temptation to lie, since there is very little for him to gain from it. Therefore, he will be completely congruent in his actions and statements with women.  Women sense the congruency in his character and it makes them trust that he is indeed who he says he is.

When a person behaves in a way that is inconsistent, it often triggers alarms in other people, even if the other people can’t fully articulate what it is that makes them not trust that person- it’s because on a subconscious level, they sensed that there were inconsistencies in the person’s behavior.

Also, because you are in a better place internally, you become more congruent in your entire life. You don’t sabotage yourself by going in opposite directions at once.

For example, if you want to improve your fitness levels, you don’t just join a gym, you also start to pay more attention to your diet and to managing stress. You can do this because you are in a more stable place internally, giving you more energy for willpower.  This then results in improvements in your life, which then gives you even more reserve emotional energy to go further in improving your life, in a never ending cycle of positive progress.

4. It Helps You Never Run Out Of Things To Say

Since you are so much calmer and in a good mood, your mind is not in FEAR mode. When you are in FEAR mode, your brain’s transmission kicks into FIGHT/FLIGHT/FREEZE gear. 

When your brain feels there is an immediate emergency or threat, your primal instincts kick in, which are to either fight, flee, or freeze. These were good responses to threats that humans faced all the time many years ago, such as needing to outrun a wild animal or catch a wild animal.

Rather than wasting time on thinking, the body INSTINCTIVELY reacts to those threats by SHUTTING DOWN THE COMPLEX THINKING parts of the brain and putting ALL ENERGY into the PHYSICAL and the EMOTIONAL- forcing us to FIGHT/FLEE/FREEZE without even thinking about it, as an instinctive response.

But approaching a woman is not a situation where you want your brain to SHUT DOWN the ability to think properly.  The last thing you want is to be overwhelmed with fear. Many people drink alcohol to overcome this, but then the alcohol interferes with the ability to think best.

So, if you are already in a state of deep inner peace and meaning, you are pretty calm about the whole idea of the approach when you approach a woman, since there is very little at stake for you. This allows you to get FULL BENEFIT OF YOUR BRAIN instead of freezing up. So you will find it is FAR, FAR EASIER to come up with what to say, how to respond to what she says, etc.

So the big question becomes HOW to do this.

In person, I can work with you and help you figure all this out down to the last detail, as each person is going to be different.

The answer in a nutshell, though, is to think about what your strengths are, and start thinking about all the ways you can connect some or all of them to something larger than just yourself. Join clubs or groups that are all about the strength or strengths that you have.  Maybe you can pool together with others that have your strengths to do something amazing for people. Maybe you can help teach the things you are good at.

The possibilities are MASSIVE.

The REAL challenge is actually not figuring out so much what it is that you love or what you are good at or how to connect it to something larger than yourself. The real challenge is getting over the FEAR that usually is there facing you BEFORE you take that action to put this into your life.

So, for example, the FEAR that expresses itself with a million excuses, saying things like:

“But I have no time.”

“But what if I FAIL?”

“I’m too old.”

“I don’t have the money.”

And so on and so forth.

The reason these things are excuses is because the REAL POINT BEHIND finding that thing or things that give you a sense of inner peace, meaning, and purpose is not just to FIND it, but to DO it- to DO it as much as you can, EVEN IF THAT IS ONLY DOING IT FOR 5 MINUTES A DAY in the beginning.

Ultimately, it’s not about the SUCCESS OR FAILURE OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENT- it’s what happens to you INTERNALLY WHEN YOU CONSISTENTLY SPEND TIME DOING WHAT YOU FEEL IS MEANINGFUL.

Now, the IRONY is that if you DON’T take the action, you will NEVER experience how MASSIVELY that action IMPROVES YOUR CONFIDENCE, YOUR COURAGE, YOUR INNER SENSE OF PEACE, YOUR STATE OF MIND IN ALL GOOD WAYS.

But if you DO take action in this area, you suddenly find that you are NOT afraid of failure, because it really IS the sense of destiny/mission/meaningful purpose that OVER-RIDES absolutely EVERYTHING ELSE.

It CHANGES YOU, in the most powerful, positive, and helpful ways for yourself and for your effect on others- including of course women.

The moment you STOP taking action, the old fears and doubts and lack of inner sense of calm and happiness start creeping back in and those negative emotions start to EXPAND and they start to try to take up ALL the space in your mind.

The REVERSE is true as well- the second you start to PUSH BACK against the negativity, and you start TAKING SERIOUS ACTION in this area of your life, you start to GET BACK that sense of LARGER THAN LIFE CONFIDENCE, INNER PEACE, PURPOSE, ETC.

And by the way, if you do follow this consistently, chances are pretty high you WILL achieve some pretty cool success in whatever it was you focused on to help humanity- but that is just the ICING on the cake- the real reward is how it makes you FEEL.

Women are very much in touch with their emotions, and they are very good at feeling out the emotions of OTHERS. Women can SENSE when you are in a really solid state of mind, and they are ATTRACTED to it.

When you COMBINE this with your ability to CONVERSE with women and your understanding of certain fundamentals about female sexuality, you become UNSTOPPABLE with women.

This is where I come in- in my live, exclusive, in-person, bootcamp program, I do two things. First, I take care of the whole INTERNAL side of things- how to get your inner state of mind to be at PEAK form.

The next thing I do is teach you the best way to actually APPLY ALL THIS in your interactions with women in the form of DIRECT APPROACHES. I actually demonstrate this for you, and then guide you along every step of the way so that you can do it as well.

By "DIRECT APPROACHES" here, I mean you approach women you see ANYWHERE- women who are TOTAL STRANGERS, and you go right up to them and get them attracted and connected on a deep level.

It gets even better- you will learn how to do all this in a way that LASTS.  You will not have to learn any gimmicks, you will not be using any lies, you will not be doing anything that is inconsistent with who you really are. This way, you will be able to USE what you learn and master in bootcamp for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH ALL THE WOMEN YOU MEET.

Congruency is a HUGE priority for me, both in my own approaches and in the way I teach men to acquire these skills and in the way men USE these skills.

Since the things you learn and master will be CONSISTENT WITH YOUR PERSONALITY, you will feel COMFORTABLE using them on women for the rest of your life.  

And of course, the results will be better too, since women can sense the difference in a man who is congruent.

As they say, it’s a free country. You can go to anyone you want to when it comes to your search for someone who can teach you these skills in the most powerful way possible. But if you are looking for the best coach on how to get yourself a woman who is the total package, I am absolutely certain that I am the best coach for you, and here’s how you can be certain as well:

1. My work has been verified by journalists from the largest newspapers in Canada.  

In fact, one of those reports was made over the course of several WEEKS, where the journalist followed the progress of SEVERAL men who took my in-person coaching.  Almost every single report from the men was OVERWHELMINGLY positive, and the men gave their reports directly to her. The men were not paid one cent by me.  In fact, I didn’t even know what they said about me till I read the report myself in the newspaper.

And, also, on top of this, the report was not made by some cherry-picked journalist of my choosing, it was actually written by a woman who had no reason to make me look good.  She was not paid one cent by me, and she was not anyone I knew or had any relationship with whatsoever.

2.  I have never resorted to gimmicks or “sold-out”.

Throughout the years, there have been all kinds of attraction gimmicks, and I have never been a part of it- even though there was quite a bit of money to be made had I done so.

3. You receive EXCLUSIVE coaching in my bootcamp.

I know that every man is DIFFERENT. So I need to focus on ONE man at a time. In an age where everything is about mass-consumption and mass-production to maximize profits, I know the truth- which is that private instruction and private coaching allows me to help you the MOST.

So bootcamp with me is PRIVATE and EXCLUSIVE.  It's only YOU, and that means every second you are  absorbing more and more, getting better and better, and not having one second of your time used on anything BUT making you better.

There is no dividing your time with other students-the entire bootcamp is devoted to you. One client per bootcamp per weekend.

It allows me to take the time and devote it to YOU, to PINPOINT exactly what YOU need to SKYROCKET your success, and it allows YOU to get the results with women AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

4. I am congruent- the only thing that matters to me is the TRUTH about success with women, and I stick to THAT.  I don’t have a gimmick- my “brand” is one thing only- THE TRUTH IN GETTING SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

To find out more about my bootcamp program, just email me at:

michaelmarks@getagreatgirl.com

You can also check out my bootcamp page at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/bootcamp-sign-up.html

If you would like to learn more about how I can help you get the success you want with women, visit my website at:

http://www.getagreatgirl.com

Till next time,

Michael Marks