secrets to sparking attraction in women.
The answer is YES, there are actually
MANY secrets. The reason they are secrets
is because most men will never learn the
SUBTLETIES about attracting a woman.
The subtleties, the DETAILS, do in fact matter.
But most men can't be bothered with them,
so they remain a secret.
Men hear things like "don't be needy".
True enough, and this kind of thing is PART of the BIG PICTURE.
But no one statement is enough to explain
all about attraction that a man needs to know.
It's kind of like telling a guy who
wants to learn how to lift weights,
"You have to lift heavy".
But this is just a broad stroke,
it doesn't include the important
DETAILS, the subtleties of success.
HOW heavy?
How many times?
How often?
Which way?
How slow or fast?
While it's true that lifting something
heavy as opposed to lifting a feather
is important, it's really not enough info.
When it comes to attracting a woman,
especially women who are the cream
of the crop, success is the result
of a man who understands the FULL
PICTURE, especially the SUBTLETIES
involved with the actions he must take.
Most guys will NOT ever make it to this
newsletter, instead they will be seduced
by the easy oversimplifications promised
by many wannabe "experts" out there.
Obviously though, those oversimplifications
don’t work, otherwise EVERY GUY would be
getting results!
So you’re in for a treat, as I share with you now
some of the most ESSENTIAL QUALITIES of these
actions, including the important SUBTLETIES.
NUMBER 1: THE TRUTH ABOUT LISTENING
The idea of listening to a woman is NOT
some kind of passive listening, but rather
PAYING ATTENTION to her so that
you can learn more about WHAT ACTUALLY
EXCITES HER and what actually helps
her feel comfort, trust, etc.
You learn these things not by ASKING her
as a total stranger, because doing that would
just freak her out and make a guy look weird.
Instead, you must hone your skills of listening
without bias (you may have noticed I really
emphasize listening skills) so that you can
LEARN these things by OBSERVING AND
LISTENING and making intelligent inferences,
a bit like Sherlock Holmes.
This is why it’s CRUCIAL to PAY ATTENTION
to what is going on when she’s talking,
including what is happening with her
body language as well as the actual
words she is saying to you.
This way, you can discover not only what
values are REALLY important to her and
which ones she is just paying LIP SERVICE to,
but also so that you can learn what things
she requires to experience different states
of mind, from comfort and arousal to love
and trust.
This is ALSO why if you know how to WORK
with this super powerful instrument called
“her mind”, she will give you complete
instructions on how to attract her.
NUMBER 2:
THE PROFESSIONAL IS EFFICIENT -
AND HOW THIS TRIGGERS MYSTERY,
INTRIGUE AND HER DEEPER DESIRE
TO BE WITH YOU.
The more you hone your listening skills,
the LESS you will need to talk, because
every single WORD you say will be
with a specific INTENT and not
just GUESSWORK.
So every word you say is actually getting
her MORE and MORE interested in you.
And yet, because you are saying very LITTLE,
you come across as a guy who is clearly NOT
trying hard.
This in itself is attractive, but what makes
it DOUBLY attractive is that she now wants
to UNDERSTAND YOU MORE, because you haven’t
provided her all that much info, so there
is SO MUCH she wants to ASK YOU ABOUT,
as opposed to the guy who talks so much
that she knows EVERYTHING about him and
can also infer even MORE things about him,
leaving nothing mysterious or intriguing
LEFT about himself for her to dream about.
That’s ROBBING a woman of the JOY of falling
in deep love and passion as she stays up at night
dreaming about who you may be, and as she
works hard enjoying the process of getting to
KNOW YOU!
Do you want to know part of the reason that
being mysterious is so powerful?
It’s because what a woman does NOT know,
she will IMAGINE. And if the little she DOES
know about you so far is attractive, she will
create an INSANELY CHARISMATIC IDENTITY
of you in her mind that will stay with her FOREVER
unless you work HARD to really SCREW IT UP.
She WANTS this fantasy, and you can so easily
GIVE IT TO HER.
In other words, you DO need to have a strong
inner and outer game, but the idea is that a
perfect approach, a perfect attraction, is actually
accomplished with very few, yet very perfect,
“moves”, which then allow HER to fill in
all the rest as she FANTASIZES.
The EXPERT does very little because he
knows so MUCH, he chooses ONLY what’s
PERFECT for the situation.
No different than how a great chess player requires
less moves than an amateur.
You need LESS because it’s being done RIGHT.
When you do the wrong things, you need a lot
of it, and then it’s still often useless.
It’s not uncommon, certainly in a club, when
running high level expertise, to be talking to a
girl and her friends for only two minutes, and
then already be going off alone with the girl
you want. The girl is attracted fast, so what
happens is she now WANTS a normal conversation
to get to know you, so she starts to do all the work
at that point.
The problem with clubs though is that it is usually
hard to find the kind of woman that would make
for a great girlfriend there.
The other problem with clubs is that so many women
are often drunk or tipsy there, that the whole idea
of interacting with them becomes ridiculous, because
they are not in their right minds, which is yet another
reason why I don't suggest focusing on clubs.
And when approaching women in places like
coffee shops, you certainly can ignite attraction
instantly, but you must slow the intimacy down
to an extent, because the environment is not intended
nor designed to speed up the "man meets woman"
process the same way a club is designed for that.
Women care a lot more about these kinds of
social conventions than most men do. Most
men just care about getting the woman and
that's it.
And so, if you try to speed things up in a non-club
environment, you are actually being unaware of the
social context of the situation and showing a lack
of social intelligence, which is not cool at all to
most women.
Nonetheless, wherever you meet a woman, when
you are doing it RIGHT, a LOT gets done quickly,
and in fact the LONGER an approach takes you
to strike attraction, usually the worse it is.
I REPEAT:
In general, less is always more, but this does
not mean you should KNOW less, it means
you should know it ALL so that you can
take the BEST course of action and ONLY
that action.
By doing only what is EXACTLY needed, and
leaving the rest a mystery, you are giving
a woman a chance to create her own fantasy
about you that ultimately will become her
reality, her picture of you, and it
will stay that way no matter what unless
you screw it all up by going against
everything I’ve ever taught you.
It's actually HARD for a guy to screw
things up once she has created this
fantasy of the guy for herself.
This is because FIRST IMPRESSIONS
are EXTREMELY POWERFUL, especially
an impression that SHE CREATED about you!
She will WORK HARD ON HER OWN to
REFRAME anything "negative" about
you as a POSITIVE, since her feelings
about you will be so strong from her
INITIAL IMPRESSION that she created
in that fantasy.
All done with zero lies, zero games,
zero manipulation. All you are doing
here is giving yourself the BEST
POSSIBLE REPRESENTATION OF YOURSELF,
AND SHE IS THE ONE DOING IT FOR YOU.
This doesn’t mean NOT TO TALK, it just means
to only apply what is BEST, and once you see you
have accomplished your goal at each stage, i.e.
opening her up as you approach, attracting her,
building up the connection, you SHUT UP once
it’s done and then wisely move at the right moment
to the next stage.
Any more talk and now you are usually coming
across as trying too hard and also you are
saying things that are chipping away at the
image she has painted of you, you are ruining
her own joy of imagining the rest of your reality.
Let me give you a great example of how just
speaking a LITTLE about something ended up
creating something an entire GENERATION
dreamed about. You know how in Star Wars,
the original movie, ("Episode IV") we learn
about something called the "Clone Wars",
but we barely get ANY info about it?
All we know is that Luke's heritage is
wrapped up in it somehow very strongly,
and that the whole event was a massive
epic struggle that somehow affected
everything, including even what is going
on in the current moment.
The how, the why, is NOT given to us.
In fact, we NEVER SEE ANY OF IT!
But it's the PERFECT way to make us want
to know MORE, so much so that even DECADES
LATER, people came out in DROVES to find
OUT the answer in the sequels.
We barely know anything about the actual
"Clone Wars" from all this, but yet, the
effect is SOOOO powerful.
Our IMAGINATIONS conjure up some pretty
powerful dramatic visuals in our minds,
and we create story lines in our own
heads, since everything ELSE in the story
is so awesome.
We figure it MUST have been something
INCREDIBLY DRAMATIC.
And so the net effect is psychologically far greater
than if they had gone on to actually show us billions
of dollars worth of scenery and special effects.
In fact, when George Lucas many years later decided
to make the movies that actually SHOW us the
“Clone Wars”, it was a huge disappointment, even
though he was applying the most advanced special
effects ever created at that point in time. (There are
actually a LOT of things there that were messed
up, but the fact is, even if he had tried to visually
show us the Clone Wars in as emotionally compelling
a way as possible, NOTHING could match what we
felt in our IMAGINATIONS from just hearing a BIT
about it and NEVER actually SEEING it.)
So often, when it comes to the power of emotions,
using less is more.
A woman can form a powerful impression of
you when you are a stranger, since she
has no HISTORY of you, so anything
you do gets AMPLIFIED subconsciously
in her mind to fill the void and make
up for that lack of information.
Do the BEST things and none of the
WRONG actions, and the fact you are
a stranger now works in your FAVOR.
(More on this in Number 6.)
It's best to allow her to "simmer and cook"
those thoughts and feelings she has about you,
and not interfere with them.
Think of these tools of attraction as possessing
the power of INFINITE COSMIC ENERGY.
You need to use these tools intelligently and ACCURATELY.
THIS is how you operate in the big leagues.
NUMBER 3:
SMILE LESS WHEN MAKING THAT FIRST IMPRESSION
It’s amazing when studies tend to prove
what years of experience approaching women
EVERYWHERE, including going right up to
women walking along the sidewalk, or
in cafes, clubs, lounges, buses, trains,
bookstores, parks, and just about
everywhere else, has already shown me:
“Women find smiling men less attractive
than those with brooding expressions.”
This comes not from some caveman or
Neanderthal report, but is fresh from
Vancouver’s University of British Columbia.
Guess what else it confirmed?
That MEN find women who DO smile to
be MORE attractive.
Which makes sense, as men want FEMININE
women, and women want MASCULINE MEN.
Guess what else?
This study was not even done by MEN!
It was done by female researchers.
So you know this is not exactly the kind
of thing that fits "political correctness",
and is certainly nothing that women would
publish for self-serving purposes, as it actually
goes AGAINST the stereotypical "politically-
correct" agenda.
Guess what else?
A large percentage of the men and women
in these studies were undergraduates who
are clearly in the dating scene and who
experience raging young hormones –
these were NOT a bunch of people in
their 90s saying, “Ohh chemistry does
not matter at all, it’s all about being nice
and compatible and being FRIENDS and just
watching the stars at night”.
These results reflect the PRIMAL preferences
of men and women, which are far more powerful
than just the logical preferences.
We could argue forever about WHY men and
women prefer the opposite gender this way, but
the fact is, these ARE the preferences.
The subtleties, though, are crucial as well.
This does not mean not to laugh, or to never smile.
What it means is that, given ONE expression
amongst all, smiling is NOT the one you
should be focused on, because 99% of the
time, this smile tends to come from a lack
of CONFIDENCE.
Think about classic icons in film who women
LOVE: Whether it was Han Solo, or James Bond,
these guys aren’t known for their SMILES.
The reality is that these characters
occasionally DO smile.
The DIFFERENCE is that when they smile,
it’s a result of coming from their OWN
terms, because they are in the superior
position, they are NOT smiling in order
to seek approval or to get on someone’s
good side---ESPECIALLY NOT TO WIN APPROVAL
FROM THE VERY PERSON THAT HAS THE VALUE
THEY SEEK, WHETHER IT IS A WOMAN WHO
IS GORGEOUS OR ANY PERSON WHO HAS
SOMETHING OF VALUE TO THEM.
Most guys instantly see their confidence
MELT in front of a woman who is a knockout
and THIS is the cause of the smile.
To be perfectly honest, if you could pull off a smile as
a result of feeling EMPOWERED and comfortable,
it would be fine, especially when approaching
women as opposed to just showing a picture, because
of all the messages you convey through your tonality and
body language when you are LIVE IN PERSON in front
of her.
There really IS an important difference between an
approval seeking smile, and a smile of being in
a great state of empowerment and inner peace.
But that’s not 99% of the smiling done by
guys around women- most of it comes from
feeling zero confidence and from guys putting
women in the superior position of value in their
own minds.
This is all the tip of the iceberg about
how to use facial expression, voice tonality,
and how to best apply it to also affect your
EMOTIONAL STATE, that I delve into full detail
for you in my Warrior Within DVD program.
The great news for you, is that although
this might SEEM to confirm that women
fall for "bad boy" types, as you can see
you don’t have to be a BAD BOY to do this,
you just have to be ASSERTIVE.
There is a shortage of GOOD GUYS who understand
how to do things RIGHT, so if you learn these
skills, you will RULE!
Women would rather meet a guy who is
BOTH a good guy AND who understands
attraction, but usually they can't
find such a man.
This leads me to:
NUMBER 4:
LEADERSHIP/ASSERTIVENESS/CLASSY
You must LEAD the conversation towards the
"MALE-FEMALE" natural vibe without mentioning
it directly.
What I mean here is the flirtatious vibe, i.e. playfully
teasing her, as well as building a connection, getting
the coffee with her, etc.
Yes, you DO have to do this smoothly, but
you can’t AVOID it either.
The MAIN thing to realize about “smooth” in this
respect is not to make her feel cheap. So you have
to be TACTFUL of how you lead this interaction.
She KNOWS what’s going on, but she needs to
ALSO know you are classy.
Otherwise you are making her feel as if you think
she is ‘easy’, which is a DEATHLY BLOW to her
self-esteem, and thus one of the worst things you can
do to a woman.
Along with coming across as INFERIOR, making
a woman feel cheap for being with you is the
biggest mistake you can make. Of course,
coming across as inferior makes her feel low
self esteem as well, for only an inferior woman
would be with an inferior man, right?
So how do you avoid tripping her “defenses”?
Well, you make sure to NOT bring up the physical
stuff DIRECTLY at all in the early stages.
It’s not cute, and it’s not funny.
Sure, sometimes a guy gets away with it, but that’s
IN SPITE of doing it, NOT BECAUSE of it.
And, all along the way, as you LEAD the interaction,
you are making her feel the awesome presence of
being with a confident, masculine guy who is unlike
any other, who is an ORIGINAL.
You show that you KNOW where to take the
interaction, you don’t ask HER.
You bridge the gap from the conversation to the
‘instant date’ by saying something like “this
is an intriguing conversation, let’s continue this over
a tea at the Starbucks across the street, etc”. Your
tonality, your body language, the expression on your
face makes it clear that you MEAN IT, but at the same
time that this is not a big deal for you, that you in fact
EXPECT her to say yes.
NUMBER 5:
VOLUME AND SPEAKING FROM INSPIRATION
Listen, if you have something to say to her, you
may as well say it LOUD AND CLEAR.
Doesn’t matter if it’s going up to a group of women
in the mall who are walking together, or whether
it’s in a club or book store or coffee shop.
I see guys kind of mumbling or talking low so that
they won’t be taken for arrogant. This is where nice
guys get SHAFTED. Because, you see, this mumbling
and quiet talk is hitting the emotional part of her
brain that says “LOSER who knows he is WASTING
my time and who KNOWS he is not worth my time.”
People who DO BELIEVE that what they say is WORTHY,
make sure to make themselves HEARD.
Because it’s important.
So they DON’T MUMBLE.
An EXCELLENT film that shows this is “The King’s Speech”,
particularly the scene where the King is intentionally made so
upset by his coach, till the point he becomes ANGRY that he
finally speaks with the RIGHT power, and utters the words
“BECAUSE I HAVE A VOICE!”
Magnificent film.
Can you imagine a President or Prime Minister mumbling
his or her address to a nation?
Getting into the subtleties, this does not mean
that the whole conversation should sound like
an announcement.
Rather, it should be driven by INSPIRATION or PASSION-
if you feel nothing inside of you, I can assure you that
she will feel nothing from your delivery of what you
say as well. On the other hand, if you FEEL the
inspiration or passion inside, you will be compelling to
her as well.
NUMBER 6:
DEALING WITH HER CONCERN ABOUT THE SITUATION
In those first few seconds of the chat, especially
if you are approaching her as a “cold approach”
a complete stranger, and especially if this is
NOT a dance club or lounge and is not a place
designed for approaching women, you don’t
want to give ANY signs of being “weird”.
There is very little room for error here, because
in these situations, women who are very attractive
have had to develop quick ways to get rid of the
wrong guys—even if this means in the process
they end up accidentally also shutting down
some of the RIGHT guys.
This is not some kind of evil conspiracy against
men, it’s simply the ONLY way for her to deal
with supply and demand- too many of the WRONG
guys interested in her.
Most guys are concerned with not coming across
as a psycho or dangerous person, but the reality
is that this is more of a fiction created in guys
minds than what women are actually worried
about. Usually, most guys could BENEFIT
from being far more forward, assertive, and
decisive in their approaches with women.
The REAL ‘danger’ to a guy’s approach is if he
comes across as NEEDY or SOCIALLY
CLUELESS.
You have many options for starting the conversation
and you don‘t have to rely on some funny teasing
comment that might take you forever to come up
with. Instead, you can often start your interaction
in a very “innocent” way that allows the woman to see
you aren’t insane, but you must then IMMEDIATELY
start REVVING THE ENGINES OF HER EMOTIONS,
you must get her senses and imagination going BIG TIME.
Whether it’s being playful, intriguing, inspiring, or a
combination of these things above, you have to get
to the interesting stuff FAST.
Remember, she has no idea who you are, so every
SECOND you spend with her is ALL the information
she has to UNDERSTAND YOU, which means that
every SECOND is as if it’s a WEEK of real life
time being spent with you.
So if you have gone 90 seconds and it’s been
boring all along, that to her feels like if she
were to spend two YEARS WITH YOU,
it would probably all be exactly like those
90 seconds.
Remember, you’ve given her nothing ELSE
to base her decision or feelings on.
This is why, even if you feel the situation requires you
to start the conversation in a very “innocent” way,
at least make sure your body language and the
non-verbals from tonality to expression are all
delivering the right message of power, intrigue,
and fun, so that she can tell you are about
more than your actual words.
For example, is your voice showing playfulness,
intrigue, mystery, or is just robotic/mumbling/monotone.
You don’t need to spend an hour talking to her about
directions or asking for directions, even if that is what
you used to START the conversation.
NUMBER 7:
THE VIBE OF THE INTERACTION
You DON'T want the vibe to feel anti-septic and
boring and formal.
During the interaction, in a playful, non-invasive way,
whether it’s an instinctive touch as a reaction to
something powerful she said, or to emphasize
something you said, or whether it’s a playful
“high 5”, you can find the right moment to make
contact SPARINGLY.
Of course, don’t be a fool, if a woman
is resisting your advance, you take a step
back metaphorically and wait to see if
this is just a matter of her requiring more
connection with you, i.e. getting to know
you, etc.
Then, it is up to YOU to get you both some
privacy. DON’T expect her to get things
rolling in this direction, although sometimes
women DO give massive hints and so often
guys don't SEE that the women are trying to
give them massive signals.
And when in private, again, it will usually
be up to YOU to get things rolling again,
although, to be honest, if you've done
things extremely well, she will start to
to make "moves" on you.
When you are progressing the interaction,
find a way to do this TASTEFULLY. For
example, you should have a REASON for why you
should both be there, i.e. your incredible photo collection
that you were chatting about over coffee.
And if you would like IGNITE your internal
engines of attraction and UNLEASH your
TRANSFORMATION with women, then
I suggest you get my WARRIOR WITHIN
program immediately.
In this program, you’ll discover how to do
EVERYTHING RIGHT with women, from
first approaching her, to developing deep
rapport and connection, to KEEPING her
attracted, to OBLITERATING all the internal
blocks, anxieties, and doubts, and transforming
them into EMPOWERMENT. And the best
part of all of this, is that you will learn this
in a way that has nothing to do with playing
GAMES on women.
That might sound impossible, but I promise you
that in this program you will see EXACTLY
why and how this is true, and in fact why this
is the MOST POWERFUL way to go with
attracting a woman.
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
You can even check out samples of the program
as well as testimonials on this page as well.
You will find that this program contains no
manipulative tactics at all.
Trust really IS the central premise of
human society and all relationships.
I promise you, you can take my word
for it, that when you approach a woman,
who is thinking of considering you for
REAL, the LAST thing on earth you want
to do is make her think you are playing
some kind of GAME on her.
This is a HUGE reason why I believe
Warrior Within is such an important
program, it has NOTHING to do with
games, and everything to do with
BEING the kind of man who understands
and who is the very ESSENCE of attraction.
Again, it's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
Right now, at this very moment, are fantastic
women that are within 5 MINUTES of where
you live, who are single, gorgeous, and WISHING
they could find the right man.
Now, you can BE that man. The most powerful
step you can take in ENSURING that is right HERE:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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