There are two aspects of being successful
when it comes to meeting and attracting
a woman. The first part is having the
finesse in terms of skills to approach
a woman anywhere in any situation and
smoothly get a conversation rolling that
demonstrates attractive character traits,
such as confidence, intelligence, wit,
and empathy.
The second part, though, is what is going
on “behind the scenes” so to speak, in
your mind, in your life, etc. It’s a little
hard sometimes to be confident and
be in the right states of mind when
everything else is going to hell in your
life.
So, today, I just want to briefly yet in
an important way address that other
side. Now, the
examples I am about
to give are dramatic but all true, and
you don’t necessarily have to do the
same things in your life, but the point
is going to be the same nonetheless:
Nothing breeds success like success.
So if you are successful in one thing,
it’s easier to take that confidence to
another thing as well.
This includes
being successful in any goal in your life.
And the number one thing you need to
know regarding being successful in
any goal in your life is that most people
fail due to FEAR, which also leads to
lack of EFFORT. If
you are too afraid
of failure, for example, you won’t put
in the effort, you will lose motivation,
you will be easily overwhelmed by
the slightest setback.
And the most horrifying thing about
fear is that it DISTORTS your perception
of the actual situation, it makes you think
things are worse than they are.
This is why, so often in life, people NEED
to have someone or something to FORCE them
to do important things because if it wasn’t through
force, they would give into their fear.
So, sometimes, for example a kid might be
afraid to go to the doctor, but the parent,
after trying all kinds of other ways that
don’t work, has to ultimately force the kid to go,
and it’s a good thing.
But once you’re an adult, you really don’t get
someone to force you to do the right things
in your life. YOU
have to force yourself.
YOU have to push through the fear.
YOU have to work your butt off.
YOU have to do the research and learning.
The good news, though, is that once you
understand this, suddenly you are able to
accomplish so much, and as you accomplish
this, you start to see how so many people
fail due to fear.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger was a kid
who wanted to become a champion bodybuilder,
his parents thought he was off his rocker. He
was a kid in a town in Austria after World
War II where bodybuilding was considered
even stranger than it was in America at that
time, and there was little opportunity for
financial success in that sport anywhere,
even in America.
But he didn’t let anyone’s thoughts of him
failing allow him to stop him from achieving
this goal. Not only
did he become a champion,
but along the way, before then, when he lost,
you could not even tell he lost from his
expression on his face- there is a famous
photo of him coming in second before the
years where he won undefeated year after
year.
In that photo, where he lost, from his face,
he looks like he won.
That is confidence, that
is happiness, that is passion for your sport.
He worked HARD.
Before getting any movie
roles, he was already a millionaire. He had
worked as a bricklayer, he started a construction
company, he sold bodybuilding manuals through
the mail.
And when he wanted to become an actor,
at the time being insanely muscular was not
in vogue for actors or even action stars.
And they said he had too thick of an accent.
They said he could never play anything more
than a tiny role as a bouncer or other similar
minor roles in any film.
But within a few years, he became the highest
paid actor and conquered two genres, both action
and comedy.
And then when he wanted to become a politician,
they said he could never win, they made fun of
his lack of experience and said he should stick
to movies, but he ended up winning TWO terms
as governor of California.
When a person conquers a sport, conquers the
acting profession, conquers politics, and also
becomes a millionaire before even landing
an acting gig, it is not a coincidence.
Similarly, when James Cameron, the man who
made Avatar, wanted to make films, they said
he was too old and he didn’t have the education,
since he had never gone to film school and was
already 30 years old.
And even after proving to the world his ability
and expertise with The Terminator, (where for
a while right after, they were all believing in him)
when it came time for each of his new films, again
most people around him lost faith and they said
he would fail.
a while right after, they were all believing in him)
when it came time for each of his new films, again
most people around him lost faith and they said
he would fail.
With each film, whether it was Terminator 2,
Titanic, or Avatar, it didn't matter- they said
he would fail, and they always had some
supposedly "good reason" for believing he
would fail.
Each time, he took on NEW challenges in
his films, pioneering new ideas and taking on
new challenges that most others around
him could never take on due to fear-
challenges that OTHERS did not believe
they or anyone else could handle.
They said he would never make back the enormous
money it cost to make Terminator 2.
Of course, it became one of the most highly
profitable films in history.
They said that Titanic would be a failure
since everyone already knew the ending,
and since it didn’t feature stars who were
famous at the time, and since it was too
long at about 3 hours, and since it was
a historical period piece, a genre that
tends to not do well at the box-office.
And when it came to Avatar, people were
saying it was also going to fail, that no
one is going to be interested in a bunch
of blue aliens with tails.
So, my point is that you need to have one
HELL of a strong INTERNAL DRIVE
because if you expect to be “encouraged”
by the outside world, you WON’T BE.
In fact, so often the most successful people
are driven to succeed BECAUSE they
were told they would fail, because they
wanted to PROVE these people wrong.
So, when it comes to your own life, JUST
STICK TO YOUR GOALS and don’t let
people screw with your CONFIDENCE.
This includes your confidence with women
as well. In fact, I have seen this countless
times: A woman will give a guy the cold
shoulder, and then his REACTION is so
confident, that his REACTION actually
GETS the woman interested.
For example, I’ve seen in my bootcamps
situations where a woman will say to a
guy she is too busy to date anyone, and the
guy will tell her that is perfect, because he
has no time either, instead of telling her
how much he needs to have her in his life,
and all of a sudden she laughs and starts
to melt and starts to re-engage in the
conversation.
It’s a very crazy world, and I didn’t make it
this way, it just is what it is. The hungry
never get fed. Those
that have the power get
everything. Most women will give nothing to
the guy that is a nice guy but has no confidence
and no power.
But to the guy that has the confidence and
the power, they will
throw themselves at
him, and excuse just about all his negative
behaviors.
I always find it strange that certain women
(not all) will condemn a celebrity who is unfaithful
to his girlfriend or wife, but yet these same
“condemners” would never give the time of
day to a “nice guy” WITHOUT the power,
without the confidence, and would in a
heartbeat be THRILLED to be the next
in line to be with that celebrity.
In the same way that some men are brainwashed
by the “halo effect” of a beautiful woman,
and will excuse or rationalize the WORST
behavior of a woman who is beautiful,
so too some women are overwhelmed by
the halo effect of a man who resonates
POWER and CONFIDENCE.
Looks can definitely help a man as well, but
when it comes to men, women’s attraction is
not limited to this, it extends to his strength
of personality- the BEHAVIORS he displays.
And the only way to resonate those things
is to LIVE it. You
must be INTERNALLY
driven, you can’t depend on a woman or
anyone actually, to tell you how smart you
are, how great you are, how successful you
will be, that you will make it, etc, etc.
YOU must believe.
And the irony is, that when you do this,
in the long run, EVERYONE believes in you,
which is just another one of those things in
life that is ironic, when you don’t need
anyone to believe in you because YOU
believe in you, then ultimately everyone
believes in you.
For my most powerful program on
SKYROCKETING your INTERNAL
self, for conquering fears, for building
your SELF-BELIEF, I seriously suggest
you get my program WARRIOR WITHIN.
It’s at:
For a personal consultation with me, go here:
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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