If you're sick and tired of being CONFUSED
as to what the hell to DO to succeed at pick-up,
then you are in for a TREAT.
So let's get straight to it:
1. BE SUBDUED, IT AIN'T A SPRINT
The single greatest mistake that beginners make
is that they view a pick-up as a SPRINT.
What guys tend to do is work themselves into
a FRENZY in order to get the adrenaline to get
themselves to go up to the girl.
That feeling of seeing a girl and being FROZEN,
it's hard to get out the gates, it's as if it takes the
booster rockets of the space shuttle to launch out.
Then, after all that pressure they exert on themselves,
the tendency is to finally BLURT out something,
whether it's natural or something "canned"
(something memorized). They pray for a good
response, hoping that they have done their
own part of the pick-up, and that maybe
the woman will now carry the rest of
the interaction.
Well, what happens is that this frenetic
approach not only does not look cool,
(because it looks like the guy is not
comfortable with women) but it actually
makes the GIRL nervous as well, since
emotional states are CATCHY.
There's a LOT to know, but the FIRST thing
a woman is judging you on, INSTINCTIVELY,
is your DEMEANOR, the way you seem composed
and calm and cool and collect or the lack of
all this.
And even on THIS point, there are subtleties,
because you COULD enter into a conversation
with higher energy as well, IF the environment
is appropriate for that, like a club, and IF
you are having the high energy from your
own upbeat state as opposed to from being
jittery and nervous.
2. DON'T "EXIT STAGE LEFT"
Then, on top of all this, the guy is looking for
any excuse he can to EXIT the situation because
he feels like a MORON or a CRIMINAL or
UNWORTHY.
He doesn't want to be made fun of, so if the
woman is not doing CARTWHEELS, he
immediately JETS off.
Don't do this.
Sometimes, the woman is only matching
instinctively to the very states you exuded
onto her - i.e. frenzy, nerves, discomfort.
So, if you're not getting the best response,
and you feel NERVOUS, then rather than
EJECT, instead, SLOW DOWN your entire
system, your movements, your thoughts,
your breathing, etc. It WILL help you
calm down and help her calm down as
well.
This will also help you become more resourceful
in terms of being able to be more fun, witty,
secure, etc.
Slow it all d-o-w-n.
3. YOU HAVE TO BE FULLY PRESENT
The problem is that too many guys want to
have to not actually GET "DIRTY" by
getting DEEP INTO THE HEART OF
AN INTERACTION. They would prefer
to just do the whole thing by "remote control",
in the sense of doing this one magic thing
or saying something that then allows
the guy to coast and watch the woman
jump into his arms.
They want to avoid any emotional risk,
(even though most women are NOT
mean, so there really is not a problem
of some kind of bitter rejection or
anything) almost as if they are not really there,
instead some mask is there in the form
of a memorized line, or in the form of
some hyped "one magic move" that appeals
to the lazy tendency of human beings.
But to get good at this stuff, you have to
get into it, you have to be actually listening
and responding, and giving back good energies
to her energies, and not getting frazzled just
because it doesn't always start with a blast.
This takes practice, but it also develops
SPONTANEITY, it develops quick wit,
it develops your ability to respond with
natural stuff very quickly rather than
feeling stuck or at a loss for words. It
enables you to also get a better feel
for what she is EMOTIONALLY
SAYING and not just verbally
saying. All this stuff is HUGELY
important.
4. EYE CONTACT
Do I have to even say this?
Five years of teaching guys in person tells me
YES, I should still mention this.
I've seen guys memorize HOURS of canned
material but fail to actually make solid eye contact
for even 30 seconds, which is far more important.
This doesn't mean non-stop never-breaking eye contact.
It means that you are comfortable looking right into
her eyes. When you need to constantly be darting
around your eyes away from her, it makes her
feel you are either a sketchy character or lacking
self-esteem.
5. TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE SITUATION
Every situation is slightly different, and this is
where GAUGING the situation comes in, a topic I
go into further detail in my advanced materials.
So, for example, doing pick-up at a nightclub
where girls are with their girlfriends means
that the girls are most likely slightly tipsy
from a few drinks, concerned about how
they will appear in front of their friends,
and also concerned with making sure
their friends are having a good time,
and also they are all slightly on guard
against guys even though they do want
to meet guys or they probably wouldn't
be there in the first place.
So, taking this into account means:
You can be MORE playful and sexual because
this is not the workplace or the library. This
is the party zone.
You can make more light physical contact.
You need to not ignore her friends when starting
the conversation with them. You need to understand
that if one of the girls who is her friend is not all
that stereotypically hot, that friend probably
feels BAD that her friend gets all the attention.
So it's cool of you to show that friend some
respect, such as by giving that friend a compliment,
even though you also have to make sure that you
are not trying to lead her on either.
The conversation should start with anything
not too serious, such as who would win in
a fight, Mighty Mouse or Wonder Woman,
whereas in a library you could start a convo
with something that is a lot more intriguing,
such as if you bump into her in the ancient
history section, you could ask her if she
has ever been to Egypt to see the pyramids,
and then get into that if that is a topic you
really know about and are interested in, etc.
There are TONS of other factors to take into
account - is this woman in university? Is
she in her 30s? 40s? 50's, etc? Is she
a party girl? Gauging for all this properly
falls under the topic of social intelligence,
which is another important topic.
6. COMPLIMENTS HAVE TO COME
FROM A PLACE OF GIVING
Too many guys go into these pick-ups after
hearing how to be all alpha and how to be the
boss, in a very confrontational way.
There is this feeling of it's "me against her",
and she has to see who's the boss.
This is LUDICROUS.
You want to be making her feel GOOD.
The reason that most compliments don't work
is that the guy seems to have nothing ELSE
fun, interesting, upbeat, or playful to say.
So a compliment can't be a substitute for
not demonstrating the best aspects of
PERSONALITY.
Also, regarding compliments, if a woman is
showing repeated INTEREST in you, then
of course you should make her feel good
about that.
However:
7. DON'T ACT AS IF IT'S SUCH A BIG
SURPRISE WHEN SHE LIKES YOU
Too many guys have a MELTDOWN
occur when the woman is showing
INTEREST or even just giving good
signals like giggling at your jokes, etc.
The guy becomes TOO AFFECTED by
the fact she is interested.
Now, it's not that you are supposed to
WITHHOLD good emotions from her,
and it's not that you are supposed to
act cold, it's that if you seem to be
SMILING so intensely in response to
a woman you HARDLY KNOW just
because she seems to like you, it's
like acting SURPRISED that you
got the job after being interviewed.
If you were interviewing someone for
for a job, and you liked them for the job,
and you then hired them, and suddenly
they seemed to be MELTING DOWN
in thanks, in being ecstatic, you might
wonder if maybe this person had never
been accepted for a job before and you
might start to wonder if maybe you
made a mistake.
Again, LOVE IS A GOOD THING, it's just
that you should wait till she has SHOWN YOU
A REASON TO BE SO ECSTATIC.
So far, all she has done is shown
interest in you, you don't even
KNOW her that well yet.
So, again, by being more SUBDUED,
you are actually showing greater
MATURITY, and showing greater
value on your part as well than if
you were too impacted by the whole
thing.
This is part of where the whole
"be cool" thing came from, and
this idea of being cool has been
totally warped by most people.
8. FORGET THE INSULTS
Man-oh-man, every since day ONE I
was against the use of these "clever
subtle insults" such as, "Is that really
your hair or a wig?" or "What kind
of coat is THAT?" or any type of
rude behavior.
There are so many friggin reasons I was
against this that I can write a whole book
on that alone.
The bottom line is they IMPEDE your progress.
Sure, it might get you some immediate ATTENTION.
But, they send the wrong message to YOUR
mind about women, and they set up the
vibe between the woman and you in
a way that lacks trust, which means
the whole thing is a ticking time bomb.
Sometimes an IMMEDIATE explosion
occurs.
All that stuff comes from lacking the right
understanding of what triggers attraction
in the first place. If you need to use that stuff,
you are only showing what WEAK "game"
you have. I said this years ago even when
it was popular among "experts" to use these
insults. That's me, the rebel who preaches
love and not hate.
9. MINIMIZE CANNED MATERIAL
Man, this is a huge one. I believe that memorized
material should ONLY be used when you are
absolutely STUCK and frozen and have no
clue what to say. The more you rely on it
as a crutch, the weaker your real skills will be.
So yes, I will have a guy memorize some stuff,
but it's his EMERGENCY CHUTE that is
only to be used in an URGENT pick-up crisis,
and ONLY to be used SPARINGLY!
The need for canned material comes from
lacking internal development. From the
wrong thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives
of women and of attraction and emotion
itself, and of your own identity. In my
live programs, this is the FIRST area
I work through with a guy. I find out
what he currently believes and thinks,
and I find out exactly where he is going
off track and then I put on the RIGHT
track.
Again, I said this way back, even years ago
before it became universally accepted as the
truth, which it now is proven to be- the truth.
The typical mistake that a rookie does, it he
learns memorized material, and then starts to
RAPID FIRE all the things he has memorized to say.
Why does he do this?
He does this because he is relying on the words,
and not on his actual skill to enter the specific
combination of states of mind that he needs,
and he is also ignoring the larger context of
the situation, meaning he is not LISTENING
to the woman!
He is too busy trying to get his words out-
and because this all comes out WEIRD to
the woman, she does not give him a
FAVORABLE response-- which makes the
guy feel like he is SINKING, so he
then OF COURSE begins to spurt out
his NEXT memorized line, hoping to
Dear God that maybe THIS will get
a better response, which of course
it doesn't because his entire FRAME
of how attraction works is all wrong.
And of course since all his memorized stuff
isn't working, he then commits two cardinal
pick-up sins by ALSO speaking too fast
since he is nervous, so he now sounds like
a guy literally reading a script, and reading
it FAST. Like a desperate salesman trying
to get something to stick.
At that point, he's totally not listening to her
at all, when listening is what he really needs
to do to get his finger on the pulse of the
moment. He's just ready to fire away
with another memorized line.
And it's not his fault!!!
He has been INSTRUCTED to do this!
10. IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING "DIRECT" EITHER
And by the way, just because memorizing
a script is not the way to attraction, does
NOT mean that the answer is to just
go right up to a woman and say "I like you!".
When you go up to a woman and you go
that fast and that direct, you are FORCING
a woman to make a decision about you on
the SPOT, without having ANY time to
really "feel" your personality, so in that
case you are forcing her to judge you on
superficial things, since that is all she
knows about you.
It's worse actually, she DOES know that
apparently YOU don't need to know much
about HER, and that says a LOT about
you and your personality and your
values and your priorities in life and
your lack of internal development.
So forget that "direct" stuff as well, it's
actually not cool.
You have to instead develop the skills to
create awesome emotions in yourself
and in her, AND you have to learn how to
create that all-important CONNECTION.
And that's where I come in.
My friends, what you've read so far is a
GLIMPSE into a whole other UNIVERSE.
And as valuable as this information here is,
it's just the tip of the ENTIRE ICEBERG
compared to what you will learn in my
ADVANCED program, which you can find
right HERE:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you want to get these skills as
FAST as possible, and I'm talking about
in just a matter of DAYS, so that you
can be having the type of women most men
only DREAM about, then it's time to sign
up for my REAL WORLD BOOTCAMP.
Everything in my programs comes from the
REAL WORLD, where it's tested and proven
all the time. My Real World Bootcamp isn't just
a "training ground", it's the REAL THING, you
will ENSURE that you master the skills of
attraction because you aren't pretending, you
are actually being taught on real women in real
time in tons of places from cafes to bookstores
to transit and everywhere else.
Bootcamp is at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And for advanced training that targets each
specific skill for attracting women, then I
SERIOUSLY suggest you take advantage of my
'army' of 'instantly downloadable' programs
which you can be using in MINUTES from now
to attract the women you want.
These programs are at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/mp3.php
Till next time,
Michael Marks
No comments:
Post a Comment