About Being Playful And Connecting With Women

Just wanted to add one point to the latest
newsletter "Getting Past The Stranger Factor",
which is that you can and should STILL be
playful, but only AFTER first opening with
total serious, authoritative dominance in
your tonality.

And remember, this is about approaching
women in places where women are NOT
expecting you to say anything to them, i.e.
a bookstore, a supermarket, etc.

In a dance club or in a lounge or at some
party, things are different.  You CAN
start immediately with a playful opening
because the VIBE of a club is already
playful, fun, and sexual by DESIGN,
including everything from the alcohol
to the music to the fact that is where
many women go for the sake of mingling
with men.

But if a woman is reading a magazine at
the bookstore and totally engrossed in it,
and you can't think of something really
funny, and you try to open with a big
playful smile on your face, it just is
putting the cart before the horse, so to
speak, she isn't even expecting a conversation,
so it seems a bit socially unintelligent
to start that way.

So, to OVER-RIDE all that, you start with
the serious, grim, totally NON-PICK-UP
kind of vibe, because otherwise it's
too easy to seem like a cheesy guy
who has no options with women so he
is desperately trying to talk to women
ANYWHERE, and you don't want
that vibe.

But once you have her attention, in that
instant of a second, you can THEN immediately
transition into a more playful vibe and steer
the chat that way.

For example, if she is reading an entertainment
magazine, you could talk about anything
recent in pop culture that is interesting,
i.e. how Britney SPEARS is going to be paid
15 million bucks to be a JUDGE on a show
called X-Factor- she is going to be a JUDGE
on how to sing LIVE, which is wacky because
she often doesn't even sing at her performances,
she lip syncs to her own studio recordings!

So at this point, she might give you her
comment on the situation, she might say
"It's because she's so famous, and that's
all they care about" to which you could
playfully reply, "Yeah, that's the thing
about our society, it's all about being
a CELEBRITY, it's all about being famous,
it isn't about what a person actually OFFERS.

'So that's why we have KIM KARDASHIAN
with a trillion followers on Facebook
and ten TV shows with her and her family,
even though she is actually not even a
singer, dancer, or anything!  She
just made a tape of herself doing
the deed, that's all she did!!!!!'

Now, at this point, you can pour on
even more playfulness, or you can
even transition into a playful
COMPLIMENT that is not what she
is expecting.

For example, you could tell her that
you know that people tend to want what
they DON'T have in their life, so if she
is reading the gossip entertainment magazines,
or anything light and fluff type magazine,
she must have a really SERIOUS job in
real life, because the people who have
FLUFF all day they tend to want to make
up for it and balance their lives with
totally SERIOUS reading!

By the way, this is just being PLAYFUL,
it does not have to be TRUE.  The idea
is that you are giving her a PLAYFUL
compliment not on a very serious level
yet, implying that she must do something
really urgent and tough and serious
during the day, and you can even THEN
ask what she does.

This is very different than just asking
out of the blue what she does, that would
be a BORING question, but now it's part
of a more playful vibe. 

It ALSO allows you to get more info from 
her and LEARN about her so you actually
can THEN make a far more meaningful
comment, compliment, or validation
to her.

So let's say she says she works in public
relations for a pharmaceutical company,
you can say semi-playfully by acting
MOCK ULTRA SERIOUS, "Oh man, 
that IS serious stuff. Seeeeee??? I was
right! You are responsible for dealing
with people regarding life-saving
medication!!!"

And you could even pause, and then with
a smirk say, "OR maybe you just push drugs!"

This kind of back and forth, playful,
challenging, NOT kissing up but not
being a jerk, is all GOOD FLIRTATION.

At THAT point, however, it would now
be good to transition into MEANINGFUL
conversation, and actually give her
a meaningful compliment, i.e. that
it takes a lot of social and people
skills to be in public relations
and a lot of responsibility, etc,
and you could say that you can
tell she has great social skills
even from the way she is interacting
with you!

So all that is just ONE example of how
things could go in a proper chat at
a place like a bookstore.

And keep in mind, that not only are
you LISTENING very well to what she
is saying, so that you can learn about her,
but you are also OBSERVING HER very
well from the very first moment, including
things about the way she is DRESSED. 

i.e. If she is DRESSED more elegantly than
is the NORM for a weekday, you can comment
to her "So you heading to a wedding or somewhere
else really elegant and special? You seem
to be really dressed up."

And if she replies, "Oh everyone is saying that
today to me, I just figured I wanted to dress
a bit more today since it's the last day of
the work-week and I'm looking forward to the
weekend", you can then give her a meaningful
yet fun compliment that she is a more passionate
person who can't wait to let the FUN side of
her personality show, and you could even FURTHER
tie this into your comments later when you learn
MORE about her personality if you see that indeed
she is a passionate kind of personality.

So LISTENING includes the skill of OBSERVING
everything about her as well.

In a dance club, though, you could go STRAIGHT
into the fun stuff, because it's already EXPECTED
that this is the whole PURPOSE of a dance club.
You could go right up to a woman and say,
"Heyyyyyyyyy! It's been a LONG TIME!"
even if you've never seen her before in  your life,
and she will GET the humor.

So all this should help make the latest newsletter
even MORE powerful for your approaches on women
anywhere you see them.

And if you are serious about skyrocketing YOUR
success with women, take advantage of my live
attraction bootcamps THIS spring and summer.
There are just five bootcamps still available for
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To contact me with any questions you have
about bootcamp, just email me directly
at michaelmarks@getagreatgirl.com
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For my most advanced self-study course on
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Till next time,

Michael Marks