a huge orchestra to introduce it, because it’s
THAT monumental, it’s THAT crucial to
your success with women, ESPECIALLY
when it comes to approaching and attracting
women who are total strangers that you
might happen to see ANYWHERE.
One of the reasons I don’t write so many
newsletters is because I’d much rather be
doing the real thing myself or helping guys
IN PERSON do this for real. And by “for
real”, I mean on tons of random gorgeous
women ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE,
and teaching this to men LIVE, till they get
these skills for themselves.
The good thing for you from all this is that
what you read here comes from the real world,
where something either WORKS or DOESN’T,
and I only give you what has been tested to
WORK.
So here is the first thing for today:
When Approaching Women Who Are Strangers
In Places That Are NOT Clubs, Lounges, Or
Otherwise “Officially” For Socializing, You
Can BREAK THROUGH The “Stranger-Barrier”
By Starting With ULTRA SERIOUSNESS.
The EXCEPTION to this is if you KNOW you
have something to say that is a SURE-FIRE way
to get her LAUGHING.
So why is this the case?
The reason starting off ULTRA SERIOUS in your
TONE is important, is because the fact is that women
are subconsciously a bit WEARY of talking to total
strangers in places that are not especially “APPROVED”
as places for socializing with strangers, i.e. a club
or lounge or whatever i.e. a party somewhere.
So her MIND-SET is “watch out for strangers”.
Is this the case EVERY SINGLE time?
No, but it OFTEN is, and even when it ISN’T,
this “caution alarm” can STILL go off even
AFTER you’re already in a conversation if
you seem untrustworthy or creepy in some way
which is usually the product of somehow seeming
as if you are not telling her the truth.
But back to the very FIRST MOMENT, the first
thing you say to her. Her “caution” alarm is ON.
So, by starting the conversation with ULTRA-SERIOUS
voice tonality and facial expression, you are subconsciously
sending the message to her that this is URGENT, and you
bypass the “caution alarm”.
This has to be done right. Don’t start with a huge long
speech that is serious.
Keep it BRIEF.
If you've studied my "Chats From Scratch"
program, you know that I teach that LESS is more.
You should always do the MINIMUM that needs to
be done to get the job done.
So even if you were to start with the words:
“Excuse me”, this would be FINE, even though
I’m not the biggest fan of having to excuse yourself
with anything, but the fact of the matter is that your
TONALITY is more important than the words
when it comes to this especially.
So it’s not like you are saying these words in
some kind of weak, submissive way, but rather
you are saying them with AUTHORITY and
GRIM SERIOUSNESS.
“But Michael, don’t you talk about being upbeat
and all those other things”? I can hear you saying
this possibly right about now.
And the answer is YES, because your MINDSET
WHEN YOU SAY i.e. “Excuse me” to her in fact
is NOT bitter, upset, or depressed. You CAN feel
good about all this.
Plus, this entire SKILL of approaching and attracting
women really has different PARTS to it, and in those
first few MILLISECONDS a LOT happens just from
your TONALITY alone.
This is why I LOVE teaching guys this IN PERSON on
REAL WOMEN, so they can SEE IT to BELIEVE IT.
It all is very subtle and happens very fast, so it helps
to see it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
Plus, since I’ve been teaching this for over ten YEARS,
I understand not only how to do it, but how to TEACH
it, I have sifted through the THOUSANDS of action-reactions
to see which ACTIONS are actually the ones that get
the results with women, and which actions are superfluous
and are simply wasting your energy or time so that you
ONLY do what works.
So in that first INSTANT, your tonality is GRIM
serious, it’s authoritative, it may even be almost
ACCUSATORY. (I said ALMOST, remember.)
THIS is what’s important to BREAK through her
“shield”.
Now, PLEASE get me right here, when I say that I think
women SHOULD INDEED HAVE A SHIELD!
I do NOT think that most women are bi*&^es!!!!
They MUST protect themselves, otherwise they
will spend every friggen’ SECOND of their day
dealing with the WRONG guys.
From THERE, you can then go on with whatever
you were going to say, whether it’s getting her
perspective on some recent topic in popular culture
from rock stars to movie stars to some other
fun entertainment news, or you could be even
just tell her anything really interesting that
just happened to you or even that you read
in a magazine or book lately.
So this leads to part TWO:
The idea here in part TWO is REALLY to build toward
getting FEEDBACK from her.
And, more importantly, not just getting FEEDBACK,
but LISTENING so damn, damn WELL to her that
you start to learn a lot about HER.
And this leads to part THREE:
Part THREE is about finding something that you
truly RESPECT and/or ADMIRE in her deepest
sense of IDENTITY, and then VALIDATING
that identity.
One thing I can’t understand is laziness when it comes
to getting something AMAZING.
To me, personally, women that I find attractive is
really not just “nice”, it’s FREAKIN' AMAZING.
I freaking LOVE it.
And whether people want to admit it or not, the
truth is, sex, love, and connection COMBINED
are what make the world go ROUND.
When it comes right down to it, most people
couldn't give a rat’s ass about money for it’s
own sake of the "things" it could buy for
themselves.
If a guy thought he could have a thousand of the
most gorgeous women on earth including the one
he loved the most, ALL of whom were all totally
IN LOVE with him and couldn’t get enough of him,
and who all TRULY FELT THAT HE WAS
"THE MAN", would he really be feeling "down in
the gutter" because he didn’t wear a Rolex or live in
a castle?
I mean, the fact is, these women are with him,
and think that HE is the man, not anyone ELSE.
Most men want power simply because they want
to REASSURE themselves that THEY are “the man”,
and of course getting the WOMEN is the ultimate
way for most men to know they are the man.
I’m not saying whether this is HEALTHY, I’m
just saying what actually IS for the most part.
So, if a guy doesn’t want to LEARN how to do
this stuff, that is FINE, it simply means that
either he doesn’t believe it will work, or he
simply doesn’t REALLY want to get good
when it comes to attracting women.
And as far as believing, the proof is as simple
as SEEING it with his own eyes. And to be
honest, I have had clients in the past who
were blind who ALSO did amazing with
women, so FEELING that woman on you
is probably the ULTIMATE proof, or having
that woman communicate her passion for you
is the ultimate proof.
So, the proof is there. The only thing that
remains is whether you really WANT to
get good at this skill or not.
Now, back to the point about VALIDATING
her identity.
Obviously, this is a HUGE topic, that I get
into deeper in my Warrior Within DVD Set,
but let me just say that the idea of validating
her identity means not just complimenting her
on what she feels is not an INTEGRAL part
of who she is.
This is why it’s so important to LISTEN to
what she is saying, and to PROPERLY read
between the lines as well.
The truth is, you ALREADY do this kind of
thing with your BEST friends, you understand
them beyond just what they are SAYING, you
also understand what they MEAN from every
slight detail in their tonality, expression, etc.
But with your friends, it’s EASY, because you
already have become an EXPERT over time
at the art of UNDERSTANDING THEM.
That’s why you are friends!!!
You’ve spent a great deal of time getting good
at knowing THEM.
Now, you have to learn to get to know a woman
who is a total stranger in just a few MINUTES.
The good news is that if you are listening
CAREFULLY, you will often get right to her
CORE in just a few MOMENTS.
And women will NOT be creeped out by this,
they will instead by APPRECIATIVE on the
most POWERFUL level.
PLUS, doing this also allows YOU to figure out
if a woman is the RIGHT match for you or if
would be better off spending your time on
ANOTHER woman.
Many men spend MONTHS or even YEARS
with a woman until they find out she was
the WRONG match.
These skills will allow you to SAVE all that
energy, emotion, and TIME.
But again, I want to stick to the MAIN point
of this newsletter, which is the SUCCESSFUL
start of the chat with a TOTAL stranger.
Just because a woman who is a stranger doesn’t tell
you to get out of her sight right away, does not mean
you are doing the approach RIGHT.
She could be just tolerating it out of courtesy,
but the ticking on the countdown has already
begun as she looks for a way out, IF you
are doing it WRONG.
So starting it off serious, allows you to immediately
bypass her “Guy who is a goofball” ALARMS.
A lot of men start conversations with women in
ways that are PURPOSELY “goofy” and laughable
but not really funny. The reason for being intentionally
goofy is because this way, there is now an EXCUSE
for “rejection”.
Being GOOFY, a guy can say to himself:
“Well, I was OBVIOUSLY being goofy, that was not
really ME she rejected, she doesn’t know the REAL me,she rejected me because I WANTED to get rejected
by acting GOOFY and just having “fun”.
This is, obviously, all the product of INSECURITY.
And insecurity always ends up looking much worse
than just insecurity. It looks DUMBASS. It looks
JUVENILE. It looks UNCOOL and reeks of being
a boy, and NOT of being a MAN.
So that’s ANOTHER reason for the grim serious
opening to the chat.
Plus, by delivering it with AUTHORITY, you also
command more immediate respect and attention.
The key is to then SMOOTHLY shift gears a bit,
to a SLIGHTLY more laid back “normal” state
of mind, because at THIS point, you have already
BROKEN through the STRANGER-FACTOR,
but you have to still exude confidence, and some
fun or at least some intrigue.
Now, if you remember, earlier in this article I did
say that if you have something that is guaranteed
to get her LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY, that is
cool too.
The reason this works is because emotions are
more powerful than logic, and if she is laughing,
she is NOT holding up her “SHIELD”, and she
is automatically going to be RECEPTIVE to some
chatting.
The thing is, that I know from experience that you
won’t ALWAYS have something perfect to say
for every situation, that is always funny.
And that’s why I developed the ULTRA-SERIOUS
opening style for places that are NOT clubs, lounges,
etc.
Please keep in mind, that this is ONE part of a larger
skill set for attracting women, but it is DEFINITELY
a part of that set of skills that deserves RESPECT
AND ATTENTION to do it RIGHT.
Think of how a race car driver of the Indy 500 or Formula 1
who is racing at about 200 miles per hour, and how every
TINY little movement on the steering, on the accelerator
is actually ULTRA refined, and the result of MASSIVE skill.
SUBTLETIES are where it’s all at, otherwise every
idiot would be AMAZING at this stuff, whether it’s
racing cars or attracting women.
Now, I want to slightly change topics, but it’s still
related quite a bit: BEING CONGRUENT is KEY.
What do I mean by congruent?
You’ve heard me say this before, right?
But I KNOW it needs to be said again,
and I want to take it further this time:
Congruent means that ALL your behaviors, mannerisms,
tonalities, expressions, etc., are all CONSISTENT in
your approach, in your interaction with her.
You often hear the advice of “be yourself” when
it comes to women, but most guys THINK they
are being themselves and then they wonder why
they are NOT getting the results they want.
This is because being YOURSELF actually takes
PRACTICE and INSIGHT when it comes to anytime
you are NOT alone, and this goes QUADRUPLE
when it comes to interacting with and attracting women.
This is NOT a joke.
When it comes to wanting to attract women, we
ALL start out thinking that maybe we are NOT
good enough. So we start to try to DO things
to MAKE us SEEM COOLER.
You’ll notice that in my teachings, when it comes to
your actual CONNECTION with a woman, it’s
all about developing the skills to get to know the
REAL her, and to help communicate to HER
who is the REAL YOU, and how to do this
QUICKLY.
It’s not about memorizing pick up lines from
someone else to make you SEEM to be cool.
Plus, it’s about actually developing your
INNER CONCEPT to make it unbreakable.
And, on top of all that, I ALSO teach you the
strategies for BREAKING THROUGH the
REAL LIES, which is the LIE that we are
NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO WOMEN
UNLESS GIVEN SPECIAL PERMISSION
FROM SOCIETY.
The REAL lie, the REAL fakery, is the EVERYDAY
SO CALLED ‘NORM’ of SEEING WOMEN
EVERYWHERE AND PRETENDING THEY
ARE NOT THERE!!!!
And vice-versa as well, women have to put on an
ACT of not being interested, in order to protect
themselves from all the dumbasses out there.
Women will actually APPRECIATE the fact that
you learned a way PAST all this b.s. because you
are actually a great guy.
So back to my main point here, which is how not
feeling good enough about our own value to women
makes us either SABOTAGE our results with women,
or makes us give into insecurity which makes us act
in all kinds of ways that destroy attraction, or whether
not feeling good enough about ourselves makes us
put on an ACT because we don’t think we are good
enough, all this stuff is one MAJOR issue.
Even SUPER COOL people, like Billy Bob Thornton,
have struggled with this issue when it comes to women.
Billy recently has mentioned that the reason his marriage to Angelina Jolie failed was because initially he was more famous than she was, and then she started to become a superstar, and he felt he wasn't good enough.
By the way, a true story that is related:
Many years ago, before I got into this field,
I had a conversation with Billy Bob Thornton,
before he was really famous.
I didn’t even KNOW that I was talking to Billy
Bob Thornton, I thought I was talking to a
member of the film crew, and he made sure
to not tell me who he was.
What was intriguing was that he mentioned two
things that I remember:
ONE:
He ASKED me what I thought about Billy Bob Thornton
as an actor.
I told him that I thought Billy Bob Thornton was a
GREAT actor, and that he had won an Oscar for
being a great actor.
TWO:
So he nodded his head, and then he said something
Like this: “You know who his girlfriend is, right?
And I said: “Yeah, Angelina Jolie!”.
Billy THEN went on with something like:
“SHE’S hot, right?”
And I said, “Yeah, of course!”
And we both smiled and chuckled a bit, all this time
I had no clue I was actually talking to Thornton.
Anyway, what was interesting about all this is that
even men who are MOVIE STARS experience the
same issues as all of us men when it comes to women.
It wasn't as if being with her was somehow all
"routine" to him since he was a movie star.
This was before I started on my own journey
when it came to women and when I used to feel
INFINITELY needy and insecure around any
woman who I really wanted.
All I thought to myself was "Man, ANGELINA JOLIE".
It was as if women of that level of beauty were somehow
IMPOSSIBLE.
The feelings of self-validation, security, and being
“good enough” are HUGELY important, and NO ONE
is immune to feelings of needing validation and feelings of
insecurity i.e. feeling "not being good enough".
We all need to work on them if we are going to
be GREAT with women.
By the way, Thornton recently said these words
about his time with Angelina Jolie, (in an interview
on the program called "Nightline"):
“I blew it because I didn't think
I was good enough for her."
So there you have it, it doesn’t matter WHO
you are, you could be a Hollywood movie
star, you could be a billionaire, you could
be a male model, all that stuff has very little
to do with being able to really ATTRACT
and KEEP a woman.
Being great with women involves mastering
a UNIQUE set of skills as well as a unique
form of self-development.
And the IRONY is that most men on Earth
only WISH for those other things so they
can GET the women of their dreams!
If you want to get great with women, then it’s time to
master the REAL SKILLS and self-development
that actually WORKS for attracting women.
I strongly urge you, if you can, to take a
real LIVE BOOTCAMP with me.
That’s two full days of TOTAL IMMERSION
and PRIVATE instruction, one to one, where
I will teach you EVERYTHING, from how to
APPROACH, to how to ignite ATTRACTION,
to developing a powerful connection on the
deepest level, and you will learn how to do
this all QUICKLY, because many times there
is very little TIME, i.e. she might be on her
way to work, or she might be on the train
and getting off at the next stop.
You will learn how to come up with the
right things to say, you will learn how
to quickly convey the essence of YOUR
identity to her so that there is no FAKING
going on. You will learn how to take your
STYLE to the next level and do it all in
a way that is CONGRUENT to your real
identity. And much, much more.
Remember, I don't just do this for myself,
I've been teaching this SPECIFIC set of
skills and this unique form of self-development
to men for over TEN YEARS.
What men learn in my bootcamps is so powerful,
that even PICK UP ARTIST INSTRUCTORS
are taking my bootcamps because they know that
what I teach is something that is massive, long-lasting,
and not some kind of "pick up lines" gimmick.
They want to make sure that THEY are
not left out!
Anyone who really wants to be the BEST
with women when it comes to actually
getting women who are the total package,
takes THIS bootcamp.
To learn more about my Real World BOOTCAMP, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
The blunt truth here is that there is nobody else
on the PLANET who has spent as much time
on the art of approaching and attracting women
who are total strangers, and turning them into
great GIRLFRIENDS, than me.
In other words, this is not just about learning
how to become a pick-up artist. It’s about
learning how to also CONNECT on a level that
is ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED if you want to attract
the kind of women who are the TOTAL PACKAGE.
I’m talking the kind of women who are that
awesome blend of BODY-MIND-SOUL.
And by “soul” I don’t mean to get airy-fairy
with you, I mean that she also has the kind of
INCREDIBLE PERSONALITY that you
really WANT to be around.
Women that have this combination are not
going to just settle for some guy who can
ONLY get physical with them.
Make the most out of this life, sign up for
BOOTCAMP:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And if you are just STARTING out, then
DEFINITELY get my Dating Wizard book
IMMEDIATELY, at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
To check out ALL my programs, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php
I know that you will find ALL of these
programs to be worth at least TEN TIMES
your investment. You'll see how these
programs are the most genuine, powerful
resources on the planet for attracting
women of the highest quality.
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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