Before we even get started today, I want
to share some INSTANT GOLD with you,
that you can apply TODAY when you see
a woman you want to approach:
TRY TO KEEP YOUR WORDS TO AN ABSOLUTE MINIMUM!
Force yourself to convey as much as you
can using everything ELSE besides words,
and also, use every OTHER element in
your communication to make EACH WORD
COUNT AS MUCH AS IT CAN.
What I mean specifically, is to use things like:
1.PAUSES
2.SLOWING DOWN YOUR WORDS
3.USING THE RIGHT EMOTION AND TONALITY FOR EACH WORD
4.MAKING THE RIGHT EXPRESSION, OR TOTAL LACK OF EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE SHOWING TOTAL CALM.
It depends on what you're talking about, obviously.
By the way, the pauses are excellent, as they allow
the WOMAN some time to digest what you are saying
and offers HER a chance to come up with something
to say back to you, PLUS it shows that you are
not insecure and that you don't need to keep
on trying to "sell" yourself.
You'll see that doing the above will make
a WORLD of difference in your interactions
with women.
Next: One of the most common pitfalls when it
comes to making "cold approaches" on women, is
that guys rely on talking to women who are
EMPLOYEES at stores, shops, etc.
It's very EASY to fall into this trap, and I've seen
it a lot in my work with clients in my one-on-one
consultations and coaching. The reason why it's
easy to fall into this trap is because the guys know
that the woman will RESPOND to them, because
these women are clerks and are paid to interact
with the customers.
This does not mean that you can't get the
clerks, employees, etc. But, if you are only
pursuing these women in your approaches,
it's usually a sign that you are avoiding the
REAL SKILL DEVELOPMENT.
When you have the REAL SKILL, you can
chat to ANY woman, ANYWHERE.
In fact, when you have these skills developed,
you will actually do far better with these
female clerks, employees, etc.
So, that being said, if you ARE going to try to
'pick-up' the "hired" help, keep the following
things in mind:
ONE:
DON'T "PERUSE" THE ITEMS IN THE STORE
FOR A WHILE, AS IF YOU ARE TRYING TO
"ACT LIKE A CUSTOMER"
I notice that most of the time, guys are trying to
avoid being shut down. So, of course, the best
thing to avoid ALL PROBLEMS is to do
NOTHING, right?
So then what most guys will do is just kind of
look around the store for a while, as they think
of something to say.
The problem with this, of course, is that all this
ends up doing is CATEGORIZING yourself
clearly in HER mind as a CUSTOMER.
The more you ACT like a customer, the more she
will put you into the "customer" category in her
brain. And she will thus TREAT you like a customer.
So, it's off with viewing you as a man or potential
mate, and it's ON with viewing you as a possible
CASH TRANSACTION.
And you can't blame her, either, since what else
is she supposed to think?
The OTHER problem with acting like a customer
and spending a few minutes looking at things
in the store, is that by ACTING like a customer,
you yourself kind of feel a PRESSURE to
BEHAVE like a customer.
The mind and body are massively linked together,
and by adopting the PHYSIOLOGY of a customer,
you will FEEL like a customer, and you will
ALSO therefore feel CREEPY inside when you
even THINK of trying to approach her, never
mind turning her into your girlfriend!
You start to feel like you are having to "fake
her out" and as if you are manipulating her.
And because you will feel this way, it will SHOW
in your body language and tonality, and the bottom
line is that you will therefore be INCONGRUENT in
terms of giving off the sexual, fun, social VIBES.
Your vibe will be a weird inconsistent mixture
of things that don't mix well - a sort of weird
mishmash of "I need to buy something but
I don't really and I want to talk to you but
I don't know how really and I'm not
THE MAN!" etc etc.
So, what you should do instead is...
TWO:
IMMEDIATELY GET INTO THE 'NITTY GRITTY'!
Now, you can and SHOULD slightly adapt your
approach to the fact she is working in the store,
but you should in NO WAY try to act as if you
are seriously a CUSTOMER.
It is not a crime for you to be INTERESTED in her.
So you can start with a story, you can start with
a playful tease, you can start with anything FUN
or interesting, just make sure you DON'T ask
her questions like: "How much is this?" or
questions about the merchandise, etc.
If you get into customer questions, you are just
going to DIG YOURSELF DEEPER INTO A
HOLE where you keep on REINFORCING
THE WHOLE CUSTOMER VIBE.
And if you THEN try to SHIFT GEARS into
"flirting mode" after doing this customer
mode for too long, it seems as if you are
MANIPULATIVE, as if the whole thing was just
a SNEAKY RUSE designed to cloak the fact
you wanted to chat to her, and THAT seems
very UNCOOL, in so many ways.
It says lack of honesty and it says lack of confidence.
And the crazy thing is that it can even be a GOOD GUY
who is doing this, but he just doesn't realize the
negative effect he is creating.
So, when dealing with clerks, salesgirls, employees of
any sort, it's important to quickly CHANGE the subject
from clothing or anything that a CUSTOMER would be
talking about and that you switch over to FUN flirting
mode.
This is why, for example, if you DO ask for advice on
clothing or whatever you are buying, that you switch
modes FAST by, for example, playfully TEASING
HER on the very advice she gave you.
OR, you could AVOID the customer/employee vibe
to begin with by IMMEDIATELY going into an
interesting story that happened to you.
You could even go up to her and say, "you don't belong
here" and she will ask "what do you mean"???? Then
you can playfully say "you belong at the head branch"
...and then TEASE her by saying "where they straighten
out naughty employees!!" etc.
So, my main point is avoid getting TOO DEEP into
the whole asking the employee for too much advice,
or you can get into a situation where the VIBE is all
about customer/employee rather than MAN/WOMAN,
flirting, giving off vibes, etc.
So avoid asking "how much is it", avoid asking about
the merchandise, instead turn the whole thing into a
playful thing, by for example saying that you were
thinking of buying the store and how much the store
would cost to own, and if you could set up a cafe in
the middle for guys who are with their girlfriend
and are bored as hell so they could at least watch
the sports channel while their girlfriends are
shopping, etc.
And then, based on her reply to you, you could
have a conversation going back and forth, and
then you could bridge into more rapport type
conversation where you are both asking
more "real" types of questions about each
other and you get to know each other a bit
before you take her number or email, etc.
And if you are reading this right now,
you can see that I am all about how to
take the most EFFECTIVE action IMMEDIATELY
in any and every situation where you find
a woman you seriously want to attract.
If you haven't yet got your hands on
my Attraction Mastery Program, I suggest
you do that immediately. This program
gives you the full 'nitty gritty' on attracting
women ANYWHERE you find them.
It's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my book,
'The Dating Wizard', then do that immediately,
at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S. To find out about all my other programs,
including my Real World BOOTCAMP, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php
P.P.S. Every single one of my programs contains
all-NEW and all-UNIQUE content, and will take
you even FURTHER in your results with women.
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