One of the most important things to realize when
you meet a woman on the spur of the moment
is that you must be ready to respond to the situation
IMMEDIATELY, otherwise the moment will be
gone and so will she.
In order to do this, you have to already be
READY. You can't start trying to "figure
it out" in the moment. This is where having
the skills mastered truly makes the biggest
difference.
Here’s a real life example written by a man
who posted to the Get A Great Girl Forum:
QUESTION
“So tonight, I was walking into my dorm when
this cute girl holds the door open for me. I told
her it was nice to see somebody who actually
holds the door open for people and she smiled
and said that people still do that. I replied with
a sarcastic "yeah, right" and could not think of
anything else. She said goodnight and walked away.
I really think that I could have expanded on this
and made a real conversation and connection.
Any advice for next time in a situation like this?"
RESPONSE FROM ANOTHER MAN ON THE FORUM
WHO IS USING THE GET A GREAT GIRL MATERIALS
“Yo man! We all get into a situation where we react
in a way that is "routine" to us, whether that is a
routine way of approaching the situation or whether
it's something we always say every time something
like that happens, but it's these routines that aren't
helping us get anywhere with a girl, and we need to
break out of that routine. The brilliant thing about
this is it takes practice, and that was one girl...so
you could try that again with another girl! GREAT!
From reading what you have said, there are quite a
few angles that you could have covered I feel. Quite
a few are done by READING THE SITUATION. Basically
when you read the situation you are pretty much trying
to find a topic from something that is around you - in
this case it could be something she's wearing or just
the fact that she's opening a door for you (like you've said),
could even be about the fact it's night time even.
I think the problem started because you opened with
a sentence that doesn't require a lot of thought for the
other person to answer i.e. if you asked her if the sky
was blue she would say yes, but instead if you asked
her why is the sky blue there would be much more to
talk about.
So how would you first speak to this girl if you knew that
you were the guy that portrayed the best qualities? You
wouldn't try and say anything that would at first qualify her
(unless you were complimenting on how she has a good
vibe to her, that's different), but would maybe say
something that can show a few things about you. Sure
you would definitely say thanks to her for holding
the door open for you but you wouldn't stop there,
you'd say something like "Thanks, but honestly,
you could just say Hi to me if you wanted to talk
to me, you don't need to open a door to start talking
to me" or something along the lines of you conveying
your superiority in a playful manner...I say that
cause the scenario is greatly set up!
It's at night, people actually get scared at night,
she could think you're someone that's about to
kill her at night but instead you're going to be that
awesome guy she wishes she could have every
time she thinks of it!
That's all I can think of just now but I hope this helps :)"
MY COMMENTS
It's great to see people using this place exactly as it was
designed for! Good question and great reply!
One of the biggest principles I teach is: “Think to yourself
what would you say if you KNEW she liked you and you
genuinely wanted good for her?”
At the same time, you want to make sure that what
you say creates a playful vibe where she will likely
WANT to participate as opposed to just answering
you to be polite.
For example, you might say, in a friendly "dignified" voice:
"Why thank you, it's refreshing to see some chivalry...oh
wait, that's what men do for women, well you should see
what it's like when ***I*** open the door for a lady....
care to see?"
And then you could playfully get her to go behind you, and
demonstrate a really classic chivalrous KNIGHT IN SHINING
ARMOR style of opening the door for her.
The KEY to making this work of course is that you are having FUN
being playful in this way, and at the same time really going all
the way in role-playing the classic chivalry.
By doing this, you are totally conveying MANLY
qualities in all the BEST senses of the word,
you are also conveying PLAYFULNESS, and
you are ALSO allowing HER to fall into her
role of being FEMININE since you are playing
your role of being MASCULINE.
Humans naturally want to know the ROLE they should be
playing, and this way you make it FUN and EASY for her
to get to know you and to truly relax and allow the
sexy vibes to flow between the both of you.
This kind of thing will get her giggling in a GOOD WAY,
and truly break the ice so that you can now go into
"normal" kind of talk about yourselves, because now
you are both going to be relaxed and feeling you can
both truly "vibe" with each other.
Another point I want to make about meeting women
is that you want to show a woman that you see her
as an INDIVIDUAL.
THIS IS A HUUUUUUGE THING, and is really the
SECOND part of any successful approach.
So, first, you need to find a way to bridge that
gap from total stranger to actually HAVING
some kind of conversation, but then the
goal is to actually make that conversation
POWERFUL in a CONNECTING sense.
The irony is that you can’t go STRAIGHT into
connecting, because it would come across
as too serious, and just plain weird.
So FIRST, you convey good qualities about yourself,
and you should also get her feeling relaxed.
THEN, you go into learning about HER and
CONNECTING.
And to CONNECT best, you need to learn how
to CONFIRM her UNIQUE sense of identity.
To do this, you must LEARN MORE ABOUT HER.
Having our UNIQUE individual identities CONFIRMED
by another is one of the biggest things in terms of actually
CONNECTING two people.
A woman is going to feel a trillion times more connected
to you if you see her as an INDIVIDUAL, if you are
genuinely interested in learning about her and if
you are not being presumptuous to think you know
her.
This is, by the way, ANOTHER reason why putting
a woman on a pedestal before you even know her
is not attractive.
For example, let’s say you meet a gorgeous woman
and you are clearly infatuated with her, and telling
her how much you adore her.
Well, she KNOWS that you don’t KNOW her, so
whoever it is you are ADORING, from her perspective
is NOT her, you can’t POSSIBLY adore HER since
you don’t even KNOW her, it’s some FANTASY
in your MIND that you are adoring.
So all this "nice" stuff, from her perspective, isn't
being given to HER, it's being given to this construct,
this concept of who you think she is, which is based
on zero actual knowledge of her.
You can see from here, that it's not that women
don't like being treated well, it's that this kind of
infatuation, or "nice treatment" is actually kind of
creepy.
The idea that you THINK you know her when
in reality it’s just all the things you’ve dreamed up
in your subconscious mind played up by the halo
effect in your mind about her, is all something that
she finds UNCOOL and repulsive.
So, once she is giggling or relaxed and a bit
impressed with your initial opening, then it’s
time to truly pour on your LISTENING skills,
and make no mistake about it, listening
properly requires SKILLS. Most people THINK
they know what it means to listen, but that
is usually just HEARING, not LISTENING
and not understanding.
In fact, to truly listen WELL, we often must
work on improving our OWN ‘filters’ that
affect the way we see and understand others
as well as the world in general.
Having the wrong “filter” can totally screw up
our ability to connect to women because the
wrong filter ends up distorting our perception
of what women are saying or doing to us.
So, for example, if I have the wrong filter, a woman
might say something totally innocent to me, but I
interpret in a way that is insulting to me. Now, I
am going to probably say something defensive back,
which will make her see me as insecure or having
a chip on my shoulder, or she might just think I
don’t understand her- none of these things are cool.
Or, on the opposite extreme, if my filter is wrong,
I might think that a certain woman who actually
is NOT a very good person is GREAT, because I
can’t see the full picture since my filter is wrong.
This is why REAL success with women involves the
BIG PICTURE, it’s not just about a pick-up line, it’s
not just about one thing.
And yet, it doesn’t have to be HARD, IF YOU
GET THE RIGHT INSTRUCTION.
This is where my WARRIOR WITHIN program comes in:
It will make sure you not only know what to SAY to a
woman, it will ALSO make sure you know how to
CONTINUE the interaction with her in a way that
actually LEADS to genuine success and a genuine
relationship.
Warrior Within goes in DEPTH into making sure
you master all the things you've read about in this
newsletter.
This program is not some kind of gimmick.
It goes DEEP, and it’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
If you’d like to learn DIRECTLY from me, in PERSON,
go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my first book,
then do that immediately at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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