You're about to learn how to attract
the highest-quality women. I'm talking
about women who are not only beautiful,
but who also are actually serious about
meeting the right guy. This is about
actually getting a GREAT girl:
So let's get straight into the nitty-gritty,
the real "HOW-TO" of how to meet, approach,
and attract a woman of true quality,
inside and out.
Now, the very FIRST rule is SO important,
I'm going to make it VERY SIMPLE so you
NEVER forget it:
ONE: NEVER GIVE IN TO THE DESIRE TO "QUALIFY" YOURSELF.
You ever notice how when you meet a woman
who is beautiful, the first thing you want
to do is PROVE yourself to her?
You want to say something that SHOWS you
are cool, that you are worthy, that you
have value.
This is something just about ALL MEN do
when they want to impress a woman for
whom they feel massive attraction.
And it's something you want to make sure
you NEVER do.
So whether it's trying to "casually" drop
into the conversation that you have a cool
job, a cool car, a cool connection, cool
friends, or anything ELSE that you think
is something that will "prove" your worth,
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The REASON is that this IMPULSE is driven
by INSECURITY, and a woman SENSES this.
It ends up creating the OPPOSITE effect
of attraction. It actually ends up
making a guy seem LESS worthy, since
it's clear he HIMSELF feels the NEED
to have to PROVE something.
If you think about it, whenever somebody
is SECURE about something, they DON'T
feel the need to bring that thing up
immediately in a conversation.
On a subconscious level, women KNOW that
if a man is secure, he will NOT feel the
need to have to "qualify" himself to her.
So not only does is it FEEL better for you
to NOT have to feel the need to prove
yourself, but it actually is MORE ATTRACTIVE
to women when you don't qualify yourself.
PLUS, when you don't qualify yourself, you
are actually showing that you are more
interested in finding out if SHE meets
YOUR standards.
This helps you come across as something
MASSIVELY ATTRACTIVE- it makes you come
across as THE SELECTOR and not the "selectee".
And by the way, for the FULL PICTURE
on BEING THE SELECTOR, then definitely
go HERE immediately:
http://getagreatgirl.com/selector.html
Plus, by not qualifying yourself, you ALSO
increase the sense of INTRIGUE and wonder
about yourself as she IMAGINES all that
you are and she enjoys trying to figure
out the MYSTERY of who you are.
By allowing her to IMAGINE and think and
enjoy the mystery, she CREATES the perfect
fantasy of who you are, and once she spends
some time immersed in these thoughts about
you as she creates the ultimate fantasy of
who you are, it then CRYSTALLIZES in her
MIND.
Once it CRYSTALLIZES in her mind, her
primal image of you is SO POWERFUL that
it reaches a point where no matter WHAT
the reality is about you, she will INTERPRET
it in a way that MATCHES her fantasy about
you that she has created.
She will INSTINCTIVELY do the work subconsciously
to INTERPRET everything about you so that it
FITS her fantasy perfect IMAGE of you- all because
the FANTASY is so powerful that she WANTS it so
badly she will MAKE it happen in her own mind-
and ALL THIS because you didn't rob her of the
opportunity to CREATE the initial fantasy since
you didn't try to PROVE yourself and take away
her chance to create the perfect picture of you
all by herself.
PLUS, by not qualifying yourself, not only do
you seem COOLER, but you also seem like a
MORE MORAL person at the SAME TIME!!!!
This is because it's clear you are not trying to
SHOW OFF, so you don't come across as arrogant,
and you don't come across as trying to pressure
her!
This is especially attractive to the quality women
who have fantastic character traits in addition to their
gorgeous looks.
PLUS, not qualifying yourself ALSO allows you to
focus more on LISTENING to her, which allows you
to UNDERSTAND her better on a deeper level and
this means you can then CONNECT to her on a
more powerful level.
AND, you can even be a lot more WITTY as well,
since you are not worried about trying to prove
yourself but rather your mind is free to genuinely
enjoy the conversation, and ONLY when this happens
are you truly "in the moment" and "fully present".
This means you will be ALERT to the opportunities
in the conversation for having the best responses
to things she is saying, whether you decide to be
intriguing, inspiring, humorous, witty, or a
combination of the above.
When you are worried about trying to prove yourself,
you are so busy trying to come up with the next thing
to say, that you MISS all the important things SHE
is saying!
The things she is saying will allow you to learn so
much more about her so you can not only connect
to her, but also you can then easily NOTICE all the
perfect moments for when you can say the right
response to a particular thing she SAYS, since
your mind was focused on listening rather than on
worrying about what to say.
Being able to LISTEN is what allows you to have
tons of the right things to SAY. Trying to prove
yourself through qualifying yourself ends up
destroying your ability to listen.
Plus, one more point about being the SELECTOR
and not qualifying yourself:
On a very subtle level, by NOT qualifying
yourself, you are implying that you feel
VERY confident, and that this is because
TONS OF OTHER WOMEN are already attracted
to you.
So, to her, when she sees you are not qualifying
yourself, she starts to think that OTHER WOMEN
are into you as well, and this on a very primal
level that is HARD-WIRED, ends up making her
even MORE attracted to you.
So again, for MORE on BEING THE SELECTOR,
I seriously suggest you go HERE:
http://getagreatgirl.com/selector.html
Alright, I promised you even MORE, and here
we go with the NEXT powerful tip for success
in approaching and attracting women anywhere:
NUMBER TWO: STOCK UP ON THE BACK-UP!
There's nothing more frustrating than seeing
a woman you'd like to approach and not
knowing what to say, right? Even if you've
done it successfully before, but then you've
been out of it for a few days, it can seem
tough if you aren't experienced.
The key to solving this is to either practice
approaching women every day, OR to build
up a repertoire of things to say to a woman
through the following exercise:
For one entire week, don't even worry about
actually APPROACHING a woman, instead,
every time you see a woman you would like
to approach, WRITE DOWN on paper something
you could say to her.
Even if takes you ten minutes to figure out
what to say, or what you could have said,
WRITE IT DOWN on PAPER.
And then take it a step UP by writing down
ALL THE DIFFERENT THINGS you could say
to her.
This might happen while going grocery shopping,
it may happen while you're at school, it may
happen while in line at the bank, while at the
post-office, it can happen ANYWHERE.
And EACH TIME you see a woman in a different
situation, you should write down what you
could have said to her.
So, for example, if she is filling up her car
with gas, and you're just walking by, you
can tease her for polluting the environment
instead of being a good citizen like you who
walks to save the earth.
WRITE IT DOWN, so next time you know
what to say in that kind of situation.
In fact, WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING, all
the different things you could have
said to her.
Keep the things interesting, playful, and upbeat.
If you're at the post office, waiting in line
and you want to chat to the woman in front
of you or behind you, etc, then you can
say something like:
"With the line up this long, by the time we get to the clerk, the cost of postage is going to go up".
Or you can say something like this:
"Not sure if the person I'm sending this letter to will have moved by the time I get to the clerk handling my letter here."
Then you can ask her if she can hold your
place in line for a sec as you get a
drink from the store.
The key is to write all this stuff down, and
to make it CONSISTENT with your personality.
In a week, you will have DOZENS of perfect
things to get a conversation started, all that
make sense for the situation and that are
consistent with your personality.
THREE: LISTEN INTENTLY TO HER
Here's the cool side-effect of doing this-
by writing down all these conversation
starters as back up in case you don't know
what to say, you will actually be training your
mind to come UP with MORE stuff on the
SPOT, because you are stimulating the
creative flow of your mind in this way.
Also, because you will have things to say,
you will be able to RELAX even more so
you can focus more on what REALLY
COUNTS to successfully attracting a
woman: Focusing on the way you
DELIVER the words you say more
than the words themselves, and
focusing on LISTENING to HER
more than on what you SAY to
get the ball rolling.
Yes, LISTENING to the woman's
responses to what you are saying is
far more important than most guys
will EVER realize- this is a huge key
in having a great conversation that
actually ATTRACTS a woman rather
than just getting a polite response.
Instead of having to worry about 'picking-up'
a woman, by listening well you can pick up
ON what she's saying, so you can truly have
a more effective and meaningful conversation
where you actually understand her better
and can give better feedback to what
she says to you.
FOUR: FOCUS ON THE EMOTIONAL CORE
OF THE CONVERSATION
When a woman tells you something, she wants
to feel understood. However, too often, as guys
we think that all we have to do is say, "Yeah,
me too, I did that too" to show we understand
it.
Let me illustrate with an example:
When a woman tells you that she was
born in a really tough country where
poverty was everywhere, the best thing
you can do is probably be quiet and just
let her keep explaining things.
If you just interrupt her before she's finished
and you interject that you had the same experience,
you're almost taking away from the pain of her
experience by making her feel like it's not special.
Now, this doesn't mean that you should not explain
what you went through, if you went through something
similar, it just means that you shouldn't JUMP to
saying something like that right away, because too
often that type of thinking comes from ego and
from self-validation rather than trying to make
the other person feel special.
So let her truly express herself, and ask
questions to try to understand.
And those questions should get to the emotional
core. Let's take a more happy example, let's
say she says she used to be a singer- don't say:
"Oh, I used to be a singer too"
Or:
"Oh, I used to play the drums in a band"
Instead you should truly seek info to understand, so for example a good question to ask might be the following:
"What did it FEEL like to do sing?"
Or:
"What made you want to sing?"
Or:
"What were some of the most powerful emotional songs that you ever sang- the ones you really felt ALIVE on???"
All this is way better than superficial questions
such as, "Where did you perform?" or "What
kind of money did you get paid", "Did you
tour on a bus?" or "Did you get a lot of fan
mail?" etc etc. You want to get to the
emotional CRUX of the situation.
FIVE: INTERPRET EVERYTHING AS A COMPLIMENT
Too often, we are our own worst enemies.
Our own insecurities make us see insults and
pain and mean behavior where it doesn't even
exist.
So for example, you might start a conversation
with a woman, the woman might say, "I can't
believe they let you in this store with that
shirt you're wearing", and you might feel
the woman is making fun of you, when in
reality she might be saying that your
shirt takes so much guts to wear because
the message or logo or picture or
WHATEVER was too much for most people.
So you AGREE with whatever she said
and INTERPRET this as a compliment-
by saying, for example:
"Yeah, with this shirt on, no girls will
read any books, they'll just be eyeing
me instead!"
And then give her a mischievous wink and smile.
The wonderful thing about this 'interpret
everything as a compliment' is that you
can NEVER go wrong with it- if the woman
was truly being innocent and good to you,
then you come across as a guy who with
a great sense of humor, and if the woman
was being a little nasty with attitude it
will make her get that "deer in headlights"
look that comes from being shocked that
you are so UNTOUCHED and completely
unaffected by her- and THIS IN ITSELF
will often attract her, and that's always
nice to have the choice on what you
would like to do there as well.
SIX: CONGRUENCY AND CONVICTION
The reason most guys fail in their initial
conversations with women is NOT because
they aren't so funny or exciting, as a first
conversation doesn't always have to be
a big spectacle - a woman will sometimes
forgive all that, knowing that it's just
a first conversation, and that maybe she
needs to get to know you better.
HOWEVER, what you MUST do right away,
and do well, is be absolutely CONGRUENT.
This means don't pretend to be something
that you're NOT. If you don't have a healthy
lifestyle, don't pretend that you work out
everyday- she'll notice the cigarette box
in your pocket. If you are a health nut,
don't try to act "cool" like you drink at
parties a lot and that you are at all the
latest smoky clubs, just to show you
are cool.
If you are going to say something, then
make sure you MEAN it, because if
you say stuff you don't really feel
in your heart, it will often SHOW up
as false from your body language
and from inconsistencies in your
stories, etc.
Be consistent with who you are, and if
you don't like who you are in terms of
the things you are doing, then CHANGE
those things.
You have no idea of the power of delivering
EVERY WORD you say with CONVICTION.
This is one reason why you should also
speak SLOWER and utter every syllable
of your words, don't swallow them or
rush them.
SEVEN: STOP ALL FIDGETY MOVEMENTS
When we are nervous, our body movements
are jittery. So take a deep breath and
consciously control your arms from
dangling around, stop tapping your
fingers nervously, stop your foot from
tapping nervously.
We are all created by the same God, so
realize that you have every right and
every bit of worth to stand your ground,
you don't have to be 'ready' to run away
off for dear life.
EIGHT: GIVE RICH PERSPECTIVES INSTEAD
OF ASKING LEACHING QUESTIONS
Too often, when trying to have a conversation,
guys ask leaching questions- questions that
just TAKE info, questions that almost feel like
an interrogation:
"What is your name?"
"Do you live around here?"
"What are you doing here?"
"How often do you come here?"
Why should a woman want to give this info
away when she has received nothing on
an emotional level?
Instead, start a conversation with GIVING
statements or comments that are EMOTIONALLY
RICH - statements that are funny, that are intriguing,
that are exciting, mysterious, etc.
You can comment playfully on what she is
reading. You can tell her a really interesting
thing that just happened to you a few moments
ago and THEN ask her for her opinion on why
these things keep happening to you.
The time to ask questions is once a woman
is already interested in you, because then
your questions are welcomed, and even then
your questions should be as described above,
they should help you understand her emotional
core much better.
And if you're reading this right now, you can
already see that this is REAL LIFE relevant
advice for attracting women ANYWHERE you see
them. This isn't just telling you to have a
positive attitude, as important as that is.
The reason I can give you real life advice
on this topic is because I have been doing
it for real for longer than just about anyone,
including at my "Real World" BOOTCAMPS for
over ten YEARS and my work has been documented
by TONS of major news organizations and respected
journalists:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Michael_Marks_Newspaper.html
Helping you get the results you want with women is something I take very seriously.
And if you are serious about getting the ULTIMATE level of success, both short-term and long-term with women, then I suggest you get my program called "WARRIOR WITHIN".
This program is so powerful, that it will not
only SKYROCKET your results with women, you
will notice improvements in just about EVERY
area of your life, from work and business to your
connections and relationships with EVERY ONE.
This is because this program is about TRANSFORMATION
on a DEEP level.
As you know, I don't believe in PRETENDING to be
someone else in order to attract women. Instead, I
believe in actually BECOMING the kind of man
who naturally attracts the highest quality women.
In this program, you will go through a
TRANSFORMATION on a very DEEP level
so that you do all the right things with women
and it will feel like an INSTINCT for you that
you don't even have to think about.
It's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my
program "Being The Selector", then
definitely do that now.
One of the BIGGEST things for attracting
women is making sure that you come across
as the SELECTOR. No woman wants to feel like
you didn't have choices and that she is
doing you a FAVOR by being with you.
Instead, when a woman feels that you have
TONS of choices with women and that you
SELECTED her, it's infinitely attractive,
and it makes her want to CHASE you.
I suggest you download this program
by going here immediately:
http://getagreatgirl.com/selector.html
This program SPECIALIZES on making you
come across as THE SELECTOR with women
and you will see MASSIVELY improved
results with women IMMEDIATELY.
The great news also is that you can download
this program right NOW and use it to TODAY to
attract the women you want- the kind of women
that make most men MELT.
Again, it's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/selector.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S. To find out about my REAL WORLD BOOTCAMP,
where you will learn the skill of attracting women
ANYWHERE, in REAL TIME on REAL WOMEN,
go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And if you would like a private consultation
on ANY matter regarding dating, attracting
women, or relationships, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/PrivateCoaching.html
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