Today I want to get to a concept that has
proven itself to be IMMENSELY helpful
in my interactions with women over the
years, ESPECIALLY in getting over that
initial hump from “total stranger she has
NO CLUE about” to “I want to see you again”.
And this concept is:
GIVE THE MOST, TAKE THE LEAST.
Ahhh, if only I had realized the full power
of this when I first started getting interested
in women, but YOU get to take advantage
of what I paid for so dearly in time.
What do I mean by “give the most, take the least”?
What I mean is, for example, do the BEST
approach possible, absolutely, use everything
I teach you, and then JUST ASK FOR HER EMAIL.
This is an example of “give the most, take the least”.
So, let’s say you approach a woman, you get her
laughing, you intrigue her, you lead the interaction,
your tonality shows masculinity and dominance
and sensuality, and she is so into you that she is
putty in your hands…
Well, if she’s THAT crazy about you, sure, you
can ask for more than just an email, but the fact
of the matter is, is that you can’t LOSE by asking
for less, AS LONG AS YOU CONVEYED
MAXIMUM VALUE about yourself. (Or at least
you did your best in your interaction with her.)
See, there’s no trickery involved here.
There’s just GOOD VALUE.
What do I mean by value?
I mean that she is having a BLAST with you,
and that she is experiencing all the awesome
emotions with you, from fun to sexuality to
intrigue.
She may very well DEMAND that you TAKE
her number, if you do all this.
However, let’s say that you are new at this,
and that you did a DECENT job in the
“approach”. You didn't do a BAD job, and
you didn't do the all-time-BEST interaction
either.
So now, by just asking for the EMAIL, you
are not putting her under the same pressure
as asking for a NUMBER.
Plus, she can check her email at any time that’s
GOOD for her. Plus, email gives you the chance
to think about what you are writing so that you
can do yourself some justice in expressing
yourself. That email can now save you and
help you get back to "full power" even
if you didn't do perfectly before that
point.
Also, let’s just say she gave you her actual
HOME address after just two minutes
of talking to her.
So what?
Does anyone actually think this somehow
would mean a guy can now skip all the
STEPS?
The steps would still have to happen!
Rather than trying to be "mr. mack daddy",
with a grand introduction, just get it done,
and move on to the next step.
This kind of reminds me a bit of how
Larry Bird was not the most flashy
basketball player ever, but he sure
was damn good. He just made sure
to get all those lay-ups, pardon
the pun.
See, ALL of the process of going from zero
to having wild monkey-sex with a woman to
having deeply intimate connections, can
SEEM at first like it's hard, or like it's
a LOT to do.
However, if you just break down each step
of the process into little steps, EACH step
on its own is EASY.
To just approach a woman and beat the
“approach anxiety” is something you can
easily learn to do.
To just get her laughing a bit so she is
disarmed and open to chatting to you,
is easily learned.
To show the right tonalities in your voice
is not that hard.
To just build a little connection…
To just go a little deeper.
To just get that first date.
To just get a little physical.
To just start to bond a little deeper.
All these things are just individual STEPS
that can be MASTERED.
It’s not that hard.
So don’t WORRY if you don’t do a
PERFECT initial approach.
Don’t worry if you don’t do any of these
steps PERFECTLY.
Just do it well enough to get to the NEXT
‘baby’ step.
And trust me, each step, on it’s own,
is something you can easily master.
And THIS is the reason I come back to
“give the MOST for the LEAST”.
So you do your BEST, and even if that’s
not PERFECT, you don’t have to worry,
because you are only asking her for the
LEAST.
So, subconsciously, from her perspective,
YOU are still the “better catch”.
At each stage, you are asking for the least.
So, for example, obviously, you don’t ask:
“Can I have wild sex with you?”.
Instead, when making out, you kiss, you
caress, and then STOP. You are not the
starving man here, you are the well fed
man, who doesn’t NEED it.
Ahh, guess what?
You wanted so little?
Now she wants it MORE.
She can tell it’s not all about YOU, so now
she wants MORE of it, because it’s good
for HER.
And of COURSE, giving the most for the least,
means that when it comes time to go all out,
you indeed go all out in bed too, which is
what you probably want anyway.
But at ALL times, for example, when LISTENING,
you become the best LISTENER, and you are
able to show her that you understand her, and yet
you aren’t expecting some immediate reward.
ALL THESE THINGS END UP ACTUALLY
GIVING YOU WAY MORE OF WHAT YOU
WANTED FROM HER...
...MUCH MORE THAN IF YOU CONSTANTLY
TRIED TO TAKE THE MOST.
This is a hard lesson for most men to learn.
Everyone seems ‘hardwired’ to want to take.
As if this is the ‘primal’ survival mechanism.
However, it’s actually NOT the primal
survival mechanism. For example, even
the top male Lion, who seems to do very
little and sleeps a lot and has the woman
doing a lot of the work, well the bottom
line is that he provides MASSIVE VALUE.
He is one hell of a hunter, and protector.
All the other lions know it, so the truth is,
for the value he’s giving, he should get
even MORE!
But he’s pretty happy because he knows
he’s getting plenty of action from the
female lion(s).
My point is, you can’t fool anyone when
it comes to a basic sense of giving vs.
taking.
So, if a woman WANTS to give you more,
she WILL. And trying to FORCE her only
makes her RESIST and want to give you
LESS.
On the other hand, when you give your most,
and ask for the least, you tend to spark a
frenzy of ACTION from her part toward
YOU.
Now let’s go a little DEEPER.
Let’s say you are already going out with this
new woman who really is into you.
And you are starting to feel NEEDY because
she’s so hot, and you’re starting to wonder
if you could ever get a girl like her again,
so now you want to speak to her all the
time.
Well, now you are involved in a very MASSIVE
form of TAKING, even though it is INVISIBLE.
The NEEDINESS is just a FEELING, it is
INTANGIBLE, but it is a VAMPIRE of
ATTRACTION, it slowly SUCKS out all
the attraction she can feel for you.
A vicious never-ending cycle begins, where
you need more and more of her “emotional
validation assurance”, the same way a
drug addict needs a hit of cocaine.
She becomes your “pusher”.
She is the dealer, you are the taker.
And the more you need to take from her,
the less she feels your value is, and the
more she feels that she was cut out for
someone better.
You want to be the OPPOSITE:
You want to DESTROY neediness.
So this way, she can FEEL that you are secure,
strong, and that you feel ABUNDANCE in
your life when it comes to everything, and
doing this makes HER feel good around you,
it make her feel everything will be okay
as long as she is around YOU.
Now, at this point, I need to remind you
of something:
If you are FEELING like “awww, I don’t
LIKE the idea of giving a LOT and taking
the LEAST” then guess what?
This is a SIGN that you need to take this
advice even MORE. It is the INSECURITY
that is afraid of getting “screwed” in a bad
way, of getting into a situation that is unfair.
I was the WORST offender of this wrong
kind of thinking, by the way. And that’s
because when it comes to insecurity, I
think I probably held the all time record
for most insecure guy about women on
earth.
THAT’S why I know how wrong this thinking is.
Go for the OPPOSITE.
I learned to slap myself like a pro wrestler any
time I start to veer away from this principle.
It works. So does pouring cold water over
yourself outside in the snow wearing just
a bathing suit, but ask your doctor before
attempting that one.
Give the MOST.
Ask for the LEAST.
This way, you will QUICKLY advance from
step to step, from walking up to her to make
the approach, to the interaction, to the
connection, to the getting physical, and
so on.
And here’s another COOL thing:
By the time a woman IS getting physical with
you, and has obviously passed through all the
previous steps with you, she will backwards
rationalize that since she put in all these steps
to get to this point, she wants to “claim her prize”
and that prize is you!
So, in fact, the more chilled out you are with
getting physical, and the more steps SHE
has to take in order to get physical with
YOU, the more she will want to get
physical with you.
PLUS, this also allows you the time to really
develop a powerful connection so you yourself
will actually get to know her so much better and
it will make everything far more meaningful
for you as well.
It truly is win-win for both you and her.
So, let the other guys who talk a big ‘game’
go on and on and try to be ‘mack-daddies’
while you end up actually GETTING THE
GIRL you really WANT and they go home
to visit the Palm Sisters.
What you have just read is an example of
how your ‘INNER GAME’ is CRUCIAL
for having the greatest degree of success
with women. ‘Inner Game’ refers to all
the things that are happening INTERNALLY
inside of you regarding the ways you are
thinking and feeling, which ends up massively
affecting your DECISIONS and BEHAVIORS
with women.
Having a super-strong ‘Inner Game’ is CRUCIAL
for having the HIGHEST degree of success
with women and especially for attracting a great
woman long term.
For the BEST program on attracting a fantastic
woman long term and for skyrocketing your
“Inner Game”, I suggest you get my program
‘Warrior Within’, now available on DVD.
This program will BLOW YOUR MIND
and absolutely take you to the next level
of success with women. It will show you
how to apply your "inner game" for all
the different steps of attracting women.
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my
program, ‘Chats From Scratch’, then do
that now. It will show you powerful,
easy-to-apply strategies for chatting
to women and attracting them
ANYWHERE you see them!
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/chats.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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