Behold, there is a way to trigger attraction
without sacrificing who YOU are.
It's called, get ready for it:
DROP THE "I'M SO COOL" ACT.
Don't kiss up.
But don't try to be so "cool" either.
Almost every “system” out there attempts to
remold you into a supposedly “alpha male”
stereotype that is often too simplistic to
PRACTICALLY apply in real life.
For example, you are told to “be alpha”.
Then you see this girl on the street you’d like to
chat up. So you think, “be alpha”.
Okay, now what?
What are you supposed to do?
Drag her by the hair to your cave?
Frown at her?
Just tell her you want her number?
And what if you have nothing at the moment
to tease her playfully on?
Are you suddenly up a creek without a paddle?
What if you didn’t have to worry about
what you said to open up the conversation
because YOU UNDERSTOOD things about
women and human beings, including yourself,
on such a high level, that you could EASILY
come up with a thousand things that felt
perfectly NATURAL to say that would work
just fine? And how would you feel if a huge
part of the reason this all worked was because
of the way YOU naturally are, the person behind
the words, instead of the learned technique?
And how would you feel if you knew you
had it all under control, in terms of how to
lead the situation from one stage to the next?
One of the critical components to making all
this work without having to be somebody else,
rests in learning to revel in and unleash your
IDENTITY, including the times that you
feel the desire to MASK it with everything
you’ve got.
I’m not a particularly huge fan of Woody Allen
movies, but there is one very interesting dynamic
to all his movies that has a lot of relevance to
attraction. His character doesn’t change, regardless
of the film, regardless of whether he’s with some
friend or talking to some gorgeous woman, he
doesn’t change. He may be neurotic as hell about
a lot of other things, (and he may do things otherwise
that are counter to attraction) but he doesn’t
mask his personality to any of the other characters.
That says in a very EFFECTIVE, EMOTIONALLY
STIMULATING WAY, that he has VALUE.
That he is desirable enough that he DOESN’T
HAVE TO HIDE HIS PERSONALITY,
EVEN IF IT HAS SOME FLAWS.
(Which isn’t to say that a guy shouldn’t work
on improving himself, and in fact this is
part of the whole point of being your best
self.)
There is coolness in this trait.
Ironically, a guy who keeps trying to “act cool”
comes across as far more of a dweeb than a guy
who at first glance may dress as a dweeb but
when he opens his mouth and he talks and interacts,
is clearly allowing his personality to shine through
without fear.
Now, of course, there is a difference between
being yourself based on IGNORANCE and
being yourself based on KNOWLEDGE.
In my programs, I work on providing you the
KNOWLEDGE and EXPERIENCE so that
you can apply it in a way that you can still be
YOURSELF.
I believe that every person has tons of cool things
about them. You can’t help it, being a human being
is a pretty cool thing because we are constantly learning
things even if we aren’t trying. Now, some things
are more practical than others, but if you’ve been
on the planet for a bit, even for only 18 years, that’s
18 years of soaking in experiences, like school,
bullies, friends, disappointment, people who are
creepy, heartbreak, joy, helping others, etc, etc.
All stuff which makes you grow character.
And of course if you’ve been around longer,
that’s more experience to enhance your personality.
One of the elements I work on with clients is bringing
out the infinite power of their buried identities.
It is CRUCIAL FOR ATTRACTION to unleash
the identity that is HIDING behind the MASK.
Ever notice one of the elements that is common to
just about every truly great movie character?
The character’s FLAWS are not hidden.
They make his or her strengths seem more special.
More real. More admirable.
In the original movie, Rocky isn’t a rocket scientist,
and he made quite a few mistakes in his life.
But when he got the chance to make something
out of his life, and to fill up the gaps in his life,
damn he put his heart and soul into it, and was
determined to “go the distance".
His “going the distance” is more attractive
because of his other flaws.
No one is perfect, no one.
And deep down, we all know this.
So guys who try too hard to be perfect are
CLEARLY covering something up.
And THAT is uncool.
But guys get so caught up on wanting to make
a great impression, that their impression is
so sterilized, so anti-septic, so devoid of
“potentially damaging” content, that there is
NOTHING left. No “juice” left to the vibe.
It’s important to give people the chance
to see your flaws. Give them a chance
to REJECT you. Don’t go out of you way
to screw yourself up, but a flaw can often
be your best friend if it came out naturally.
More importantly, if you’re “in” and accepted
with your flaw, you will feel so much more
connected to the woman you are with. As
opposed to hiding it and living that kind
of attitude of fear.
This is not just about HOW to get women.
It’s about HOW to get the RIGHT women.
For this is the only way to truly give a chance
for REAL acceptance.
Of course, you need to be your BEST,
but that does not mean trying to come
across as perfect or fake or hiding
things about yourself.
And think about it:
If you give a woman a chance to reject you,
let’s say, by allowing your crazy sense of
humor to come through, or your personal
ideas about something else intriguing,
you are actually saying that you have enough
self worth to be prepared to accept someone’s
else’s rejection of you. And THAT actually
effectively, EMOTIONALLY, INDIRECTLY,
says that you DO have value.
This is very powerful stuff, and has implications
on many levels of communication.
Almost every song or movie in many ways one
can say has been done before, but what HASN’T
been done before, the part that actually IMPACTS
people, is the part where the artist REVEALS
VULNERABILITIES and yet is NOT AFRAID
TO REVEAL THEM, (thus a “proof” of their
OVERALL value that they can absorb the
impact of this flaw) and the WAY those
vulnerabilities are presented.
Again, this actually attests to being SECURE AND
HAVING VALUE. But it has to be done in a
non-apologetic way.
This is a very deep topic, but I hope I have
given some insight into it here.
Only if you have enough self-security in your
identity can you even go to the point of allowing
yourself to be embarrassed.
The other day I was having a conversation with
someone who told me about a quote from
Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino said something like,
“If you haven’t written something that embarrasses
you in your writing, then you haven’t done your job”.
EVERYONE TRIES TO ACT SO COOL, THAT WE ALL
KNOW THIS 'COOL' STUFF IS AN ACT, AND IT'S
A SIGN OF INSECURITY.
So, to a woman, if you are willing to put yourself
out there, it says EMOTIONALLY, INDIRECTLY, in
a powerful way, that you believe you have worth.
And the thing is, it’s because you are NOT saying
anything about your worth, in fact you are
SO COMFORTABLE AND RELAXED you don’t mind to
“screw up” or possibly reveal that you are
“not so perfect” and THAT actually makes you
come across as the REAL DEAL.
The truly superior deal.
Unlike every guy who tries to sell themselves as “special”.
And you can’t fake “being real”.
You can’t fake it any more than you can fake a great
movie, a great song, a great work of art.
When it’s really great, everyone feels it,
and when it’s imitation stuff, everyone
feels it as well.
Often, in bootcamps, I will do some pretty spontaneous
things, that I’m NOT SURE WILL “WORK”. I will do
these things because I’m really not trying to be somebody
else. I'm being honest to my thoughts and feelings, and
sometimes that might involve doing things like singing
not-so-professionally, etc.
One of the keys to this is to make sure that you
are not in the wrong state of mind, otherwise
all the honest stuff in the world will just reveal
that you honestly are not any fun to be around.
This is one of the powerful benefits to your
training that you get from taking BOOTCAMP
with me, because you get to EXPERIENCE
it all LIVE. I ensure that you actually LIVE
these words and don't just read them.
Once you EXPERIENCE results, it's easy
to DUPLICATE your results again, because
your mind now has a powerful MEMORY
of success rooted deeply inside of it,
making it easy to empower yourself
again and again in the future.
Plus, you remember the exact DETAILS
subconsciously, the exact subtle things
that helped you succeed, and you
instinctively APPLY them without
even thinking the next time you need
to when you see a woman you'd like
to approach.
On the topic of pushing your own comfort zone
and being comfortable conveying your identity,
there was once a movie with Cameron Diaz,
where her character is being set up to look like
a fool through singing karaoke.
The movie is called “My Best Friend’s Wedding”.
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s a 'chick flick'.
I enjoyed it.
(Hint, hint, do I try to pretend I only watch
RAMBO, even with women? Am I trying to be
ultra-COOL???)
Anyway, the thing is, Julia Robert’s character
wants to make Diaz’s character look bad.
But when Cameron’s character gets up there
on stage, even though she is not a great singer,
she TOTALLY GOES FOR IT, she gives it
her best and ENJOYS IT, she isn’t afraid of
screwing it all up. She is a real sport about her
own flaws and doesn’t hide from them.
Very cool, whether you are a guy or gal.
In fact, I’ve learned a TON about how girls act
comfortable, and realized how much GUYS can learn
from this. I’ve seen girls do all kinds of silly
things, from singing badly to dancing badly
and it was clear that they couldn’t sing better
and that they couldn’t dance better, and yet
they did it all anyway on purpose to just
be comfortable and relaxed and be themselves
and also they were “putting themselves out
there” being a bit vulnerable. It says a lot
of subtle things, good things.
And it’s actually quite an attractive trait
when done right.
This goes hand in hand with not being focused
on rejection, because you are actually GIVING
PEOPLE THE CHANCE TO REJECT THE REAL YOU.
If you give a woman a “chance to reject you”,
(I’m NOT saying to TRY TO SCREW THINGS UP)
you are REALLY actually stating that rejection
isn’t a big deal.
And THAT says value, and it also is pretty
cool in the sense that you’re not making such a
big deal about HER.
Because if you WERE making her the entire
focus of your life, you wouldn’t allow the
chance for rejection, would you?
Cool guys allow themselves to get rejected.
The irony is, they rarely see things as them
being rejected, which in itself causes women
to do a double take, and actually DESIRE the guy.
Are you comfortable with your own identity?
If YOU are comfortable with it, it stirs a reframe
even on things that supposedly AREN’T cool.
Think that Star Wars is a turn off to women?
(Never mind the "prequels", although the
last prequel had some cool moments).
It's only a turn-off if you go around trying
to IMPRESS women with it, or EXPECTING
women to be into it as if YOU would be
interested in soap operas. (And I have known
several women who just happen to be
STRIKINGLY gorgeous and who happen
to dig Star Wars quite a bit.)
In fact, if you are a cool guy (which means secure in
your identity) and a woman knows you are into
something like Star Wars, you’d be surprised at how
much she might even get into it all on her own.
A powerful identity strikes a REFRAME on any
supposed negative aspect of one’s self.
It is part of the larger picture of charisma.
If you want to learn how to PUSH your own
COMFORT ZONE so that you can truly be your
most comfortable self even in the presence
of the most beautiful feminine creatures
on the planet, I have a program that will
help you do exactly that.
In this program, I interview a man who used
to be so anxious around women that he literally
was a virgin until 26 and thought he would never
become good with women EVER. He then learned
to open up his personality to women, which
included his off-the-wall sense of humor,
to the point he became so good with women he
was featured in a New York Times best-selling
book on the subject of being good with women.
Sometimes, it's important to reach for the
stars in order to reach for the moon. This
man REALLY pushes the comfort zone, far BEYOND
what you will EVER have to do, and this is
why listening to my interview with him will
ENSURE that you at LEAST learn to push your
own comfort zone to the level that you NEED
to do in order to succeed with women.
This is a very powerful program on becoming
SUPER COMFORTABLE with your identity, and on
increasing your confidence, especially on
improving your confident sense of HUMOR with
women, which is IMMENSELY helpful at ALL stages
of interacting with a woman, from 'breaking the ice'
with her when you approach her, all the way to
making her enjoy being with you in a relationship.
This important program is at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/confident-humor.html
I want to also remind you about my LIVE
bootcamp training program. Be efficient
in how you learn about dating! Attending
a bootcamp allows me to make specific
calibrations to your individual character
which makes a HUGE difference.
These one-on-one coached 'individualized tweaks' to
both your inner confidence and your 'outer game'
allow you to make the kind of SERIOUS progress
with women that you might very well men NEVER
make otherwise.
Learning this all on your own is often too time
consuming and difficult. Having me deliver
exactly what YOU need as opposed to what
anyone ELSE needs, will ensure that you
obtain full, fast, and lasting success in
dating and relationships.
My bootcamp program is at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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