Approaching women and attracting them
smoothly is a bit of a paradox. On one
hand, when you do it right, it sounds
so simple.
But that's because so many things have
been internalized, that it's kind of
like learning to walk.
It really takes a lot of little steps
put together, but when done right, it
looks very easy.
Recently, I received a letter from a
man who has put a lot of the steps for
one particular "attraction situation"
together, and I've commented on his
letter to make the steps even clearer.
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Dear Michael,
The past six months has been the most torturous
experience of my life. Last November, my
girlfriend broke up with me, and although we
were not getting along, I always expected that
we would work things out and never give up-
that’s the attitude that I thought we both had.
Michael, I felt like my world was ending-
there were moments that I could not physically
breathe, moments where I felt I was going to die
from sheer weakness. It’s like I was drained
of all zest, energy and desire for life.
Throughout this time, I had a sense of disbelief,
that “How on earth could she do this to me, how
could she give up on us”?
Then, about six weeks ago, late on another sleepless
night, I found your site on the internet, and read
every single article you have. It was painful
to read a lot of it, to be honest, as it was so
clear that I was doing everything wrong,
and if you were right, it meant I had to
start over again- the very way I understood
my reality and how to go about getting
and attracting the kind of woman I wanted.
I suppose that’s the only good thing about
hitting rock bottom, you’re more willing
to try anything.
So I went all out and decided to get your
Warrior Within DVDs. I went through half
the entire series in one night. For the
first time, so many painful memories
started to become beautiful to me, because
your breakdown of how attraction is created
and destroyed showed me what was really
happening all along, and the reasons why
as well.
More on that later, but I want to get to
the most important part of this letter,
which is how I applied your strategies for
breaking through my inner barriers on taking
action with women, and taking the kind of
action you suggest as well.
I currently work as a dishwasher in a restaurant,
that’s right a dishwasher, as I lost my previous
job that required my engineering degree as
well as years of experience, from not showing
up to work. Like I said before, the breakup
really destroyed me. So until I find another
job that uses my skills, I need to pay my
bills with whatever helps.
Anyway, there is a smoking hot waitress
who works at the restaurant, and until
I got your Warrior program, all I could
do was wish about her. Her name is
Cora, and she’s a mixed breed of
Mediterranean, French, and some other
stuff I can’t remember, except that she
is certainly one of the most exquisite
exotic creatures I have ever seen.
Guys are ogling her all the time, and
I see customers trying to flirt with her,
but now that I have your program, I
can see all the mistakes they’re making,
from trying to take advantage of the
fact they are “customers” and knowing
she won’t tell them off, to copying the
silly teases you hear about all the time
designed to lower her confidence.
Well, after another lonely night of having
nobody knocking at the door, nobody
calling on the phone, and getting pissed
off at looking at the same four walls,
I went through the section on your
DVDs called “Naming The Voices”.
That did it for me, it got me so angry
at those parts of my self, that I made
that brutal disconnection between my
better self and those internal voices,
and I just knew that no matter what,
the next day I would follow your advice.
Before I left the house in the morning,
I practiced the voice tonality as you
show until I got into 'state' as you
would call it.
I walked in for work as usual, and as I
entered, I saw Cora serving a table, and
I sauntered over to her, and in my head
pops your voice reminding me not to be
nasty but to be childlike fun, and to
fully go along with whatever I decide to
do, to have full conviction in it and
not take off if she doesn't 'bite' right
away like you say most guys do.
So, I pointed alarmingly, to a button on the
top of her blouse, and made this gross face,
saying “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!
What Isssssss That???”
She laughs and says to me “This is a joke, right?”
I remember your words again: To treat the
joke with full conviction.
So I don’t stop.
I go: “Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
What Issss That?”
So this time, she looks down to her button,
and I do the silliest thing since I was 6
years old, just as you say about being
a kid with women, to allow them to
regress to that childhood playfulness-
and what I do is, I take my finger that
was right beside her top button and
flick her nose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have to understand Michael, that
this girl is so intensely gorgeous, that
I see men come in everyday and easily
tip her way more than they would anyone
else, just in the hopes that this might
seriously get them some attention.
I see other guys just ogling her for
an entire hour as they eat, and not
say a word to her.
I hear other customers try to get all serious
with her about their serious accomplishments
and careers, from politicians to doctors.
And here I go, flicking this seriously hot babe’s
cute perfect nose in my Grade 2 style juvenile
behavior!
My heartbeat was racing, as I figured I was
either about to get the biggest slap in the
face, berated, or fired (again!).
Her eyes widened and she looked like she
was going to kill me, and then said to me:
“Thank you for brightening up my day”-
and I wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic
or not.
She then grabbed my shirt by the collar
and said to me, “You think you can mess
with me?”
I’m telling you Michael, I still wasn’t
sure if the police were gonna be beating
my ass shortly. But I decided to follow
your words to the letter, and stayed in
full conviction of this joke.
So I continued with: “No way, I want to
keep it clean! I hardly even know you!
You’d have to wine and dine me before
even thinking of getting there with me!”
And that’s when she cracked, man, that’s
when she totally cracked.
She starts laughing in disbelief, shaking
her head in disapproval, but it’s the kind
where you know she is enjoying every
bit of it.
So I told her that I had to get to work in
the back, and I also warned her to keep
a clean mind and clean thoughts and
not to think about getting dirty with me!
(This was brilliant of you by the way,
your work on obsessive thoughts and
how the worst way to get a thought
out of your mind is to tell the mind
to not think about it- and how this
creates the opposite effect! So by
telling her to make sure not to think
about it, she probably thought about
it the whole shift!)
Well what do you know, she ends up
in the back fifteen minutes later, telling
me that she’s never had a guy tell her
to be clean with him before, so I just
told her “There’s a first time for everything,
it looks like I’m going to be your first,
I hope it won’t hurt!”
She then starts asking me when my shift
is over, and at that point, thanks to your
materials, I realized the time for joking
was over, because she was clearly into
me, and you warned how guys lose women
by taking the jokes into the “clown zone”
where the guy seems to be a clown and
not serious about taking the interaction
to a real man-woman connection level.
So before I could even finish saying “at close –
“11 o-clock” she tells me that she is here till
then also and that she’d appreciate a nice
clean guy to walk her home.
Man, Michael, this girl knew when I finished,
she was just asking to as you say, set it up
as if she didn’t to make it look more like
“well since we both finish the same time
anyway he might as well walk me home”
What really makes me love this girl is that
she has no idea that in fact I have two degrees-
she sees me as the dishwasher dude who has
no qualms about it!
All I can tell you man, as a gentleman, is
that we had the greatest connection that
night and I’m still seeing her today.
I have no idea if this woman is “the one”
but she certainly is making my life better
and not giving me any headaches.
Maybe it’s because of her experiences
with men that she already knows that
not all that glitters is gold, or maybe
she just digs a guy who makes life
fun, even the small things.
And I owe it all to you, right down even
to the choice of humor, and of not being
nasty in my humor but instead just childlike
and playful, with a touch of naughty, allowing
her to regress to being a fun girl, which ironically
allows her to be a woman instead of a robot.
There’s one more thing I need to tell you
before ending this letter, which I wasn’t
planning on being so long!
I finally remembered something about
my ex, and it clicked in my head after
I was watching your Warrior Within
program yet again:
To make a long story short, this woman
unintentionally gave me plenty of clues
about her nature, as far back as the very first
date I ever had with her. But I decided
to disregard them, because verbally, she
assured me that she was “good old
fashioned faithful”.
I made the terrible error of believing words
as opposed to actions and subtle but ever
so meaningful body language cues, and on
top of that I believed “all women are messed
up so I might as well accept this one who
seems better than the others.”
If I had your Warrior Within program back
then, I would have never, ever gone on a
second date with that woman, and would
have spared myself the monstrous pain that
I created for myself by growing attached to
her.
Your Warrior Within program did more than
just help me get this new woman, who knows
exactly who I really am and loves me for it,
and who, by the way, gives me no drama or
headaches, and treats me like I’m a king.
Your Warrior Within program has made
me grow as a man, because I am not
angry anymore toward my ex, as I can
now see the whole picture, including
the fact that in the future, I can take
responsibility for things because I
now know what to look for in a woman’s
behavior and how to see the signals
up front and fast.
I can’t blame my situation on women anymore.
It’s up to me to keep a woman, break up with
a woman, or go meet and attract a woman-
Warrior Within put the power back in my
hands, I am no longer a victim and never
will be again.
So all I can say is thanks, man, and I hope
other men in my situation realize that no
matter how much pain they may be in
over a woman, there is light at the end
of the tunnel if they are willing to learn
and take the responsibility of that learning
on themselves.
Jack H.
San Diego, CA
P.S. I just got a phone call for an interview
for something that uses my background a little
more! Maybe this woman sensed all this lol!
***MY COMMENTS***
Thank you first of all for the kind words
and for sharing some of the ways you
are applying the material in Warrior Within.
Normally I don’t print such long letters,
but in your case I made an exception because
you gave us meaningful specific details of
your situation and what you did to attract
the new woman, all the way from changing
your ‘inner game’ and learning how all this
works and why it works, to the actual
‘external game’ of the words you said!
A few comments I’d like to make:
1. You probably aren’t even aware of this,
but the dishwasher job was not only NOT
holding you back, but because of the
attitude you displayed while SIMULTANEOUSLY
being the “dishwasher dude”, you came
across as, to be a bit blunt, a guy with
MONSTROUS SIZED B*LLS.
It’s no big deal to have some confidence
when you already ARE a supermodel
with a lot of money who is famous and
socially proofed by a big crowd of girls
around him, and who is not feeling the
pain of a breakup.
And I have a feeling the 'state' exercises
you did with tonality helped you here
as well, so that you came across with
full congruency on all levels, from
body language to voice to all other
mannerisms.
2. The STYLE of humor you used- it was
NOT arrogant, it was NOT a “clever put-down”
to "lower her confidence", it was innocent,
CHILD-LIKE and therefore LEADING THE WAY
TO REGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR!
And regressing to CHILDHOOD is a
GREAT thing to do in a world that is
WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY too serious and
especially regarding the whole sexual
connection between men and women,
where you have to consult a lawyer
before you are assured of sounding
politically correct to a woman!
The childhood regression allows her to
have FUN with you.
Another little subtlety by the way,
to the childlike behavior was the
INNOCENT form of PHYSICAL CONTACT
that this acheived for you, and
thus "broke the ice" for both of
you this way, allowing her to
feel free to now playfully
get "angry" and get a little
physical with you as well.
3. You ADDED THE NAUGHTY DIMENSION
You did this to just the RIGHT degree,
with the whole “messy but you want to
keep it CLEAN” comment which raised
the whole dynamic to a fun spicy
interaction between a man and a woman.
Notice how FIRST comes the playful,
the child-like behavior, and THEN
comes the splash of adult NAUGHTY.
4. You WENT FULL CONVICTION
Yes, man, this is SO important.
Especially for a woman who gets hit on
a lot, it just makes sense that she is
experienced enough and confident
enough to not just ‘bite the bait’
at first glance.
Most guys, upon FIRST BEING CHALLENGED,
in any way, will MELT.
You FELT the temptation, the desire, to MELT.
Because of that state of mind, you start
to get distorted thoughts, like of the
POLICE coming to whup your butt
just because you liked a girl enough
to take some action!
But I know what you mean, I’ve been there!
Here’s something else about going ‘full conviction’
on your joke or playful approach:
It gives the woman, retroactively, something
cool to reflect on about you: So when you
left to get back to work, and she was there
by herself or with the customers, she was
probably reflecting in her mind “That
smart-alec knew ALL ALONG there
was nothing on my shirt, but he KEPT
ON GOING!! What a- what a-what a
damn bastardly and SEXY GUY!”
This is the kind of playful sexy 'bastard'
that is totally what women eat up and what
actually feels most LIBERATING for us
as men anyway!!!!
5. YOU KNEW WHEN TO STOP
Yes, once she started to ask when you
finished work, and you knew she already
knew the answer anyway, it was super
clear what was going down, and you
not only RECOGNIZED THAT but
you appreciated how it was important
to NOT CONTINUE THE PLAYFUL
STUFF at that point, at least not for
that moment.
She was basically putting HERSELF out
there, and speaking in “woman code”
to you that she is up for taking this to
a higher level.
A lot of guys think that because they
are getting somewhere with the childlike
stuff and the naughty stuff, that they should
keep on doing it!
But that’s wrong, as it makes the woman
think that this guy doesn’t REALLY
“get it”, and that he is socially clueless
AND worst of all, that he might be a
some strange dude who actually JUST
ENJOYS DOING THIS ‘STUFF’ TO
WOMEN BUT HAS NO REAL
INTEREST IN WOMEN!
Keeping up the childlike stuff or the playful
naughty stuff past the point of her showing
interest ends up making a guy look like
the Pee Wee Herman character, who is
funny but not a man.
This is also why I offer many avenues to spark
the dynamic besides using humor, such as using
the emotion of INTRIGUE, just to give a guy
more options to make things even easier.
6. THE USE OF ECHOING THOUGHT IN HER MIND
I also loved the way you used the strategy of
keeping her thinking about you by telling her
to NOT think dirty thoughts of you!
It’s an awesome tool, because you’re in effect
acting “according to politically correct culture”
but actually achieving a very “politically incorrect”
goal, the kind that is reserved for an adult man
and woman who want to jump each other’s bones!
The more you say NOT to do it, the more
you are getting what you want, and also
allowing her to enjoy it without having to
appear as “politically incorrect.”
So by doing this you take the pressure off of her
and just allow her to enjoy thoughts of you.
7. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
By taking responsibility for your future
relationships and even partially for your
past, you actually EMPOWER yourself
because you are not a prisoner to someone
ELSE, to no woman, to no ex, to no one.
This is yet another trait that you probably
are CONVEYING in subtle ways to the
new woman you met from your attitudes
toward your future, your job, and your
relationships. It shows maturity and
these days, maturity is harder than ever
to find because of the fact that a lot of
people don’t end up taking on responsibilities
till later in life.
So by showing RESPONSIBILITY, you
are showing maturity.
My last comment to you, is that as awesome
as things are, I want them to STAY AWESOME
for you.
And to KEEP IT THAT WAY, you must REMAIN
the way you are.
THIS is what makes women fantasize about you.
It's what makes them say “I miss hearing your
voice, I can’t stop thinking of you”.
And if you’re reading this right now, and
would like to get the kind of success with
women where women don’t just “agree”
to go out with you, but actually give
everything they’ve got and will FIGHT
against plenty of OTHER female competition
in order to be with you, then I suggest you
get my WARRIOR WITHIN program on DVD.
Warrior Within represents a quantum leap
forward in the field of attracting women,
it’s ALL NEW CONTENT that you will not
find in any of my other programs, and it
absolutely will take you to the next level
of success with women.
You will learn more powerful and effective
strategies than you have ever experienced before
for sparking the deepest level of attraction in women.
You’ll discover how to ignite an entire ARRAY of
intoxicating emotions in women that will addict them
to you. Plus, inside this program I’ll show you how
to build the most powerful connection with women
that goes beyond all previous concepts, so that
women never “flake out” after first dates and instead
are contacting YOU wanting to meet up again fast!
And you’ll also find the best ways to DETECT
quality women who won’t give you ‘drama’
or ‘headaches’. In addition, you will learn
fantastic new strategies that actually WORK
for obliterating all internal obstacles that are
preventing you from taking action with women,
and much, MUCH MORE.
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
To get a great introduction to my materials,
download my two E-Books at:
The Dating Wizard:
The Foundation For Dating Success
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Get A Great Girl:
The Foundation For Getting A Great Woman
http://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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