Getting the RIGHT woman is very different
than just getting any woman. It's also
more important than most men realize.
The wrong woman will ruin you faster than
anything else on earth.
Yet, ironically, in order to be READY to get a great
woman, the first thing is to give yourself and your
emotions a FRESH start- you can't let the
baggage of the negative experiences pull down
your personality, your vibe, your passion.
Let us start, in the words of Linkin Park,
by creating a "NEW DIVIDE", and then
begin with new crucial info.
When I first started wanting to date
girls, one of the greatest challenges to
me was sorting out all the OPPOSITE
messages I got in terms of what it is that
women really want.
So for example, I would hear women
say things like “he’s so immature” in
a negative way, and then I would think
the answer is to be very SERIOUS and
mature.
But then I would see the same girl cracking
UP LIKE CRAZY to the outrageous antics
of some of the guys in school, like this guy
who actually flashed this girl at school,
and the guy wasn’t particularly great looking
either. And she thought it was hilarious.
So it all seemed really confusing.
There were the guys who were arrogant
who girls said they didn’t like, but constantly
talked about, so it seemed like in reality they
did like these guys.
And there were even some “nice” guys who
seemed to do alright with women as well,
contrary to popular belief.
And then you have dating gurus and pick up
artists who SWEAR by their methods, which
range from strategically lowering a woman's
high self-esteem, to “experts” who say it’s
all about speaking to her “natural woman”,
to “experts” who insist the answer is to
use tantric yoga and sing mantras together.
So are you ready for the real truth?
EFFECTIVE ATTRACTION is a BLEND of:
I. MATURITY
II. "ROCK STAR PASSION"
III. "THE GIFT OF SELF ESTEEM"
And all the above must be in the right
AMOUNTS, at the right TIME.
These things used in the wrong amounts
and at the wrong time will DESTROY
attraction, and that is the paradox.
Let’s get into how to do it RIGHT:
I. MATURITY
Maturity indeed IS attractive, when it’s NOT
THROWN IN HER FACE all the time.
So, for example, it’s mature to get an education
if you can, it’s mature to get some kind of job,
it’s mature to not make fun of the helpless,
it’s mature to go up to her and chat rather
than whistle cat-calls, etc.
It’s NOT mature to go on and on about SERIOUS things,
in a conversation with a woman you just met.
In fact, this is often a sign of insecurity, as
my best friend pointed out, that some people
will talk about negative things even if they
know it bothers you, just to make themselves
seem important, because bad news tends to
catch people's attention.
(By the way, I'm not saying EVERYONE
who says negative things is trying to
feel important, I'm just talking about
people who almost seem like they
want YOU to worry, when they
themselves aren't really all that
worried about it.)
It’s NOT mature to talk about yourself too much,
unless she asks. It’s NOT mature to show off your
accomplishments, as this also shows insecurity.
If you were to start a conversation with a woman
with something light, perhaps even funny, as
I suggest with my “disarm and charm” approach,
a woman will laugh and open up and NOT think
that you are immature, she will just understand
that you have well-honed social skills in this area.
Maturity is that silent thing that’s THERE behind the
scenes, and comes up when REQUIRED.
So for example, let’s say everyone in some social
gathering has turned the conversation into a gossip-fest,
so you tactfully say you have to use the restroom and
leave.
You just might come back to find that the
best quality woman has also excused herself
and has found a kindred spirit in you.
Let’s say a woman is with you and she’s making fun
of someone who is helpless, you tactfully let her know
that you’re not fond of that kind of humor.
For example,you might say:
“Do you think maybe that woman has some kind
of problem that’s causing her be in that
situation”?
This will often show a woman that the way to
impress you is not by stepping on other people,
but by showing compassion and integrity.
If you’re at a party and every guy is slobbering over
some woman, if you’re mature and you’re
attracted to her, you realize that every guy
has already tried every pick up tactic in the
book on her, and your best bet is to just
walk up to her and say hi, and see what
her personality is like from the way she
chats with you.
Remember, starting a chat is very easy,
it can be as simple as asking her what she
thought of a recent popular event, i.e.
a certain really close soccer/football game,
or even a certain popular new comedy movie.
Maturity means you realize that she already
knows you are trying to chat her up, and that’s
OKAY, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,
and she will be ATTRACTED to this mentality.
II: ROCK STAR PASSION
Now, the thing is, sometimes, guys who are mature,
they forget about the importance of what I like to
call ROCK STAR PASSION.
You don’t have to be a rock star to have “rock star passion”.
By rock star passion, I mean the UNBRIDLED PASSION
for things in your life that brings CHARISMATIC ENERGY
to your overall demeanor in everything you do.
When you are doing things that you LOVE in your life,
it makes you a different person to be around, it changes
your entire “VIBE”.
It makes you feel a natural high, so that you are
instinctively making comments that are FUNNIER,
WITTIER, and that have more spark to them, all
because your INTERNAL STATE is feeling so
CHARGED. You can’t fake this, but you CAN
start this MOMENT thinking about what you
would ENJOY doing and how you can take
the FIRST STEPS RIGHT NOW toward
making that a reality.
I know it’s not easy for everyone, especially if you’re
“locked” into a job that takes endless hours that you are
bored of, but if that’s the case, you need to gradually
and SERIOUSLY change your situation to get into
something that either allows you more free time to
do what you DO love, or the career itself is something
you find challenging and satisfying, or both.
Now, sometimes you have the guys who are
PURE ROCK STAR PASSION with zero
maturity, and EVERYTHING is about
the party, the fun, the drinking, and the
INTENSITY and the SENSUALITY,
with zero thought of the long term or
the maturity of anything.
That might get a guy some mileage
in a wild club where everyone is drunk,
but it won't get a great girlfriend that
lasts. It may very well attract the
kind of woman who will end up
being a nightmare- because she
is attracted only to this dimension
of the human personality.
So again, it’s about maturity AND rock star
passion. If you have no goals that really
ENERGIZE you and fill you with zest
for life, it’s time to get some new goals.
Before moving on to the next part of this
newsletter, WRITE DOWN THE FIRST
STEP YOU WILL TAKE AND SEE
IF YOU CAN TAKE THAT STEP NOW.
III: GIVE HER THE GIFT OF SELF-ESTEEM
In many ways, this is really the most important
one of all. In my Attraction Mastery Program,
I explain that “If you can give a woman the
gift of self-esteem, she will be yours forever.”
It’s true.
And guess what?
You don't do this by approaching her out of the
blue with a big smile.
You also don't do this by trying to insult her
in some attempt to lower her self esteem
as a form of control.
In fact, one of the greatest ironies to me is that
I see tons of guys trying to learn how to “razz”
women who are attractive, by saying things like
“did you brush your teeth today?” to negate these
women’s self-esteem in the hope that this
will make the woman feel “lower down
on the totem pole” and thus feel more on
an equal level to the guy.
The problem with this, is that all this achieves
is pissing off the woman, which some guys
interpret as, “Hey I got her attention!!! Wow!!!”
This kind of thing only sews the seeds for
the guy’s own destruction, especially if he
did it on purpose, because if he did it on
purpose, it means he truly did not feel
secure enough to talk to the woman
WITHOUT using this warped stuff.
This lack of feeling secure enough will
then be poor insulation against the
EXPLODING FIRE BLOWBACK
that the woman will subtly unleash back
on the guy, and because she’s most likely
very attractive, she can see the insult
from a mile away, and thus she won’t
be hurt much by it, but it will piss
her off just enough for her to carefully
orchestrate her revenge in a way that
will hurt most.
Whereas if the guy really does talk in
insensitive ways, he’s used to all sorts
of negative reactions and doesn’t care.
He doesn’t get very far with women and
doesn’t want to, and doesn’t have very close
relationships with anybody.
Also, allowing the manipulative mentality
into your repertoire is destructive for your
mindset with this woman, as it means from
the beginning, you were having to rely on
making her feel bad rather than on making
her simply feel you are amazing.
Sooner or later, if you make a woman feel
a lack of validation, she will just go elsewhere
to get that validation. So it's really a no-win
situation when you try to lower a woman's
sense of self-esteem.
If a woman is truly stuck up, all it means is
she's so insecure (and believe it or not
sometimes a woman who is very beautiful
can still be very insecure) that she feels the
need to be stand-offish, and I suggest you
move on to another woman who is more
fun to be with.
Now, all this does NOT mean that you should
kiss up to women either. It just means you
should restrain yourself from jumping to the
HALO effect and worshiping a woman and
thinking she is so great on the inside just
because she looks great on the outside.
She MIGHT be great on the inside, but that’s
for you to find out. Your job is to be secure
enough in yourself and in your personality,
your personal accomplishments, to go up
and talk to her and find out what she’s
about and enjoy the conversation.
The gift of self-esteem is far more PRECIOUS
today than it has EVER been.
Abraham Maslow, the famous psychologist,
discovered that once people have the basic
needs met of survival and shelter, after that
the thing that people REALLY want is
PRESTIGE/HONOR/RESPECT, etc.
In other words, STATUS.
A long time ago, people were born rich or
poor, and they STAYED that way.
Now, in one way that sucked, but on the other
hand, most people didn’t feel this need to
get STATUS in order to feel complete.
They KNEW they weren’t going to get status.
And a lot of people also KNEW that the ruling class
weren’t particularly DESERVING of it, so amongst
all the poor people there was a certain feeling of
“we’re all equal, and we all have equal status”.
People didn't feel it's their own FAULT
for not having "socially high status".
That was in a time when it was a big deal to have
a LOAF OF BREAD ON THE TABLE.
But NOW, people have MORE THAN EVER,
yet also feel more "ripped off" and more of a
"loser" than ever because they feel they are
not getting the status they EXPECTED
they would get.
When people feel they LACK ADEQUATE STATUS,
they realllllly realllllly are unhappy.
And this hits the self-esteem HARD.
It’s also interesting that people don’t feel jealous
of the guy who is WAYYY up the “status totem pole”,
so most guys don’t feel jealousy for Bill Gates,
because the mind sees that as being so far out of
their own leagues, it’s not worth the bother of
worrying about it. But the guy who has a slightly
bigger house, who went on a slightly fancier
vacation, or who has some other sort of bullpoo
arbitrary thing that really makes no difference
to life, THAT drives a lot of people, including
a lot of women, CRAZY.
Now, on one hand, it seems MEN are the worst
culprits of this, in the sense they start WARS
for this crazy shit, but women do it in another
way…they tend to seek ENDLESS OTHER
INDICATORS OF STATUS to make them
feel “worthy”.
So I’ll give you a little hint- the best women
I’ve ever met were spiritual but not religious.
They were more readily able to detach their
sense of self-esteem from endless status
symbols than other women, and these
women also tended to be more fun
in general.
This does not mean it’s as simple as going
to a yoga class to meet one of these women,
as today, going to yoga has become unfortunately
for many women a STATUS SYMBOL ITSELF!
But it’s definitely not the worst place to go
to meet women.
So, getting back to the main point, you
want to not HARM a woman’s self-esteem,
you want to STRENGTHEN it, you want
to help her find it, reinforce it, make it
indestructible.
There is never a problem on this planet that
comes from a person who truly feels a sense of
self-esteem. This is a gift that comes back to
you as well, of course, as the more esteem
a person feels, the less drama and problems
they will be attracted to or start.
And of course, the first step in giving
a woman the gift of self-esteem is
giving it to yourself. You have to know
something for real, for yourself, before
you can give it or teach it.
Also, I suggest you don’t go for women
who are a long way from feeling self-esteem
already, as you can’t change someone, but
you can ENHANCE a woman’s sense of
self-esteem by giving her even MORE of
it.
Self-esteem is INFINITE, you can never
have too much, and you can never give
her too much either. Just make sure
this woman is worthy of such a great
form of giving from you.
The first step I suggest you take with a
woman who is worried about not being
enough (and I assure you, she probably
feels she is not enough, whether she is
not the actress she wished she would be,
the singer she wished she would be, the
doctor, the denstist, the lawyer, the
teacher, the mother, the daughter,
the friend, it goes on forever) is ask her
what would happen if she IMAGINED that
she WAS enough even WITHOUT all those
things? Just to IMAGINE it. She doesn’t
have to change anything, just ask her to
IMAGINE HERSELF FEELING ENOUGH
EVEN WITHOUT ALL THOSE THINGS
SHE THINKS SHE MUST BE.
This is just a very precursory step, the
beginning of the beginning, but it’s a step.
And of course, if you haven't done this
on yourself, do it for yourself as well.
Also, I suggest you help her find all the
GENUINELY amazing things she HAS
done and does, that she doesn’t even
give herself any credit for.
In a world that is suffering from lower
self-esteem than EVER because of the
endless “status race”, it is even MORE
EMOTIONALLY OVERWHELMING
IN A COOL WAY WHEN YOU DO
FEEL SELF-ESTEEM, she will see
and feel this esteem even STRONGER
than she normally would because of
the CLEAR MASSIVE CONTRAST.
Now, this newsletter has just touched
the broad strokes, I would love to get
into the FULL GLORY OF THE DETAILS
in terms of how to best DO all of this!
And if you're reading this now, I suggest
you get my Attraction Mastery Program
IMMEDIATELY.
This program is the most comprehensive
attraction program I’ve ever released.
It will show you the deepest levels of how to
trigger attraction in women, and show you
what to do when meeting women ANYWHERE.
It will also show you how to use something
called REFRAMING to keep your social
status at the ABSOLUTE top.
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
I also seriously suggest you sign up for my
BOOTCAMP program. I am still in love
with this field, because there are INFINITE
levels of learning, and I never stop enjoying
the process of taking this field FURTHER.
Rather than pump out marketing all day long,
I prefer to actually DISCOVER more and more
about how attraction and connection works,
because ultimately it is actually the most powerful
driving force for all of humanity.
So, when you take a bootcamp with me, you are
learning from someone who really LOVES this
field, who really loves helping you, and who has
also proven his credentials in person, and who has
had all this verified by tons of observers, including
by several major national newspapers.
Find out more about my bootcamp by going here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/bootcamp-sign-up.html
Be cool,
Michael Marks
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