If you want the TRUTH on how to get over
approach anxiety, how to attract a woman
once you've approached her, and how to
KEEP her, here it is:
NUMBER 1: EMBRACE THE FEAR
The best way to get rid of any obsessive
FEAR is NOT to try to convince yourself
that there is nothing to fear.
If you are afraid of approaching a woman
because of concerns about any of the
following things:
-She might laugh at you
-Others might see you "fail"
-You might get arrested
-You are worried what you yourself might
feel in terms of the anxiety
-Any OTHER fear regarding approaching
women or advancing towards getting physical
Well, the reality is that you should actually
NOT try to do the typical “think positive
and don't even think about the negative”
advice.
All that does is constantly make you
worry about “WHAT IF THE REALITY
IS SHE WILL REJECT ME EVEN THOUGH
I’M TRYING TO THINK POSITIVE?”.
And that kind of anxiety will freeze you up
and prevent you from doing anything.
So, instead, allow the ENTIRE NEGATIVE
EMOTION TO BE FULLY EXPERIENCED
THROUGH YOUR BODY AND IN YOUR MIND.
That’s right, in your imagination, see
THE FULL HORROR of whatever the
image is of what can happen, see it in
your mind, feel it in your body, feel your
muscles clenching up, your body sweating,
your heart racing, head feeling dizzy,
EVERYTHING.
This takes a tremendous amount of courage,
but the cool thing is that it works.
Allow ALLL the negative thoughts to come
in, experience it ALL. Don’t repress ANY
of it.
This is NOT easy.
But it’s the ONLY way to BEAT the fear,
and it’s a hell of a lot EASIER than a life
of giving into this fear.
To quote that KICK-ASS song from
Rocky IV, “There’s No Easy Way Out”.
The thing to remember, this is
the ONLY way out. The other
'La-La Land' advice just doesn't
work in the real world.
TAKE THE "PUNCH" OF THE FEAR,
ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET "HIT"
BY THE FEAR, OVER AND OVER.
You may have to do this for an hour a day,
for several weeks, and in the first few minutes
you will feel WORSE than before, but then it
starts to get BETTER and BETTER .
The pain is worth it, compared to a life-time
of getting NOWHERE and suffering at the
same time.
Remember, when it comes to this issue,
the “THINK POSITIVE” gurus have
unfortunately been misguided. They’re
nice guys though, some of them anyway.
Instead, this “thinking positive” stuff can
actually be a form of FEAR itself, FEAR
to even FACE the possibility of accepting
the “DangerZone” thought--This takes
more guts than trying to convince yourself
that everything MUST be fine no matter what.
If you can just ALLOW YOUR MIND
TO RESERVE A LITTLE SPACE
FOR THE NIGHTMARE OF THE
“DANGER ZONE”, you can then learn
to LIVE quite WELL with that possible
'nightmare situation possibility',
and actually THIS will allow
you to RELAX and stop thinking
about it, and NOW to truly
BE POSITIVE for real rather
than just wishing you can
be positive, and now you will
be far more empowered to actually
GO FOR HER!
All because you now TRULY don’t care
that much about the nightmare situation
or doomsday scenario you had regarding
approaching this woman or any other woman.
Don't avoid mentally and emotionally flying
into the scary thoughts that you repressed,
don't avoid the danger zone.
Instead, EMBRACE THE EMOTIONAL DANGER ZONE!
2: PREDICT THE FEAR
It does no good to suddenly be STRUCK
with fear when you see a woman you want
to approach, but if you PREDICT IT
AHEAD OF TIME, it won’t take you by
SURPRISE.
The 'SURPRISE ATTACK' part of the fear
is a big part of what screws everything up.
Instead, before leaving your home in the
morning, PREDICT that you will see
a woman and you will get a MASSIVE
SURGE OF THAT FEAR/ANXIETY!
THIS way, when it happens, it will NOT
be a surprise, and it will probably
be a lot LESS than you expected.
Since you will be ready for it, you
can actually KNOW CONSCIOUSLY that
all these fear emotions are DISTORTING
your perception, and making you think
something horrible is going on.
Most people are not aware of their
own emotions, they just follow
them blindly.
They are not even aware that it IS
an emotion, they think what they
FEEL must a GOOD indicator of
whether the situation is good or not.
But you will be AWARE this is just
an EMOTION that is distorting your
perspective.
KNOWING that this is all a distortion is
a SIGNAL FOR YOU TO TAKE ACTION
AND NOT LISTEN TO YOUR EMOTION!
You knew in ADVANCE that you would feel
these negative emotions, and you planned in
ADVANCE that you would take action ANYWAY.
Like everything else in life, being PREPARED
is a huge part of what results in success.
3. HAVE A CHARISMATIC PLAN OF ACTION
If you have NO plan, you will do NOTHING.
So make sure that you PLAN to take action
even while feeling fear, so that you don’t
follow INSTINCT, because the instinct
when feeling fear is to NOT do anything.
Here's a plan for taking charismatic action:
One of my favorite concepts is my
“Disarm and Charm” strategy, where
you bring her back into positive
childhood memories together with YOU.
By bringing her back to positive childhood
feelings, you disarm her, and by then
allowing her to escape serious adult
limitations on fun, and getting her to
have fun together with you, you also
charm her.
The key is to do it all in a playful
and mischievous way:
For example, if you see her in the
cereal aisle in the supermarket, you
can go up to her and have this “devious”
look on your face and tell her, “Hey,
ever think about all the PRIZES that
are right inside these cereal boxes
right in front of us now?”
When she responds with whatever she says, you
can tell her “You know, if you provide me the
cover, I might share some of them with you”.
Chances are she will GET it, and laugh and
not only will she provide you with a response,
but because she is in a good mood now, she
is RECEPTIVE TO YOUR FURTHER ADVANCES.
You could also link back to childhood
cartoons, for example, you could go up
to her and say, “You know I just heard
the wackiest thing (pause)- They’re
actually making a LIVE ACTION movies of
the SMURFS!! Do you remember that show?”
She will probably say something like,
“No way! When does it come out??
I used to watch that as a kid and
had the dolls! Is this for real?"
And you can always joke back and say,
‘It's for real, I’m not smurfing!”
You could also playfully accuse her of still
living in the Smurf world and that she still
goes home to play with them or watch it on
DVD, etc.
And as the chat progresses, you can always say,
“We should smurf sometime” and then accuse
her of having a dirty mind and tell her you meant,
“We should talk”!
So now you actually have a CHARISMATIC
plan of action.
NUMBER 4: INDIRECT COMMUNICATION
Emotional impact is stronger when it’s
NOT direct.
Notice how humor is stronger, (“We
should smurf sometime”) and drama
is stronger, and in fact all emotions
are stronger when the listener must
be involved in having to make part
of the connection himself or herself.
So, for example, if you were a principal
speaking to a group of 13-14 year old kids
graduating from school, and you wanted
them to NOT become delinquents and rather
to become outstanding members of society,
you wouldn’t SAY those actual words.
You might say the following story a
a principal once described:
***
“I once met this boy who went to boarding
school for high school, where many students
liked to come to his room to talk.
He put a sign on his door that said:
“If you have nothing to do...don’t do it here.”
***
When you hear this, you have to make
the connection yourself, which makes
you take an INTERACTIVE PART in the
message now. This makes it STRONGER.
The message of “Time is precious,
don’t waste it”, is stronger when
told indirectly.
Similarly, if you’re talking to a woman,
you want to create emotions in her,
not boredom. And you will create
emotions by making her have to
make connections. The key is
to make the connections WORTH
her effort.
You can use this not only to enhance
the SERIOUSNESS of a point, but
also to enhance HUMOR:
So for example, let’s say you’re in
line at the bank, and she’s in front
of you, but she turns around to see
the clock, or to see something else,
you can playfully MISINTERPRET
this on purpose, and tell her,
“Pleased to meet you” as IF she was
trying to flirt with you.
She’ll make the connection in her mind
of the point you are making.
Or you could say:
“You can just say hi, it’s cool.”
She might ask what you meant, and it’s cooler
if you DON'T totally give it away, so you might
then say “It’s fine for a woman to turn around
and check a guy out, but if you keep it up
I’m going to feel like piece of meat!”.
This is much better than just telling
a woman that you like her or any
of the other things that she’s heard
a million times to which she has been
desensitized to as a result.
Powerful messages are indirect.
NUMBER 5:
IT’S ALL A COMPLIMENT/GO WITH FLOW
Be your own best friend.
It’s really crazy how we often are
our own worst enemies.
If you catch yourself criticizing yourself,
realize you are probably having a standard
for yourself that is WAY higher than you
even put on others.
Self-esteem IS attractive.
There is a famous true story told by a
woman who was one of the lovers of
Ian Fleming, the man who wrote the
James Bond novels, and who in many
ways was a James Bond type figure
himself:
Before ever sleeping with him, she was
upset at him for being with too many
women. She said to him “You, sir,
are a cad.” His reply to her was
(I’m paraphrasing) “You’re right,
let’s have a drink on it.”
Of course, she ended up falling hard for
him, and sleeping with him.
The point of this is not to suggest
you should sleep with many women,
the point is that massive self-esteem
and self-belief is universally attractive
to all women.
So, from now on, anything any woman
says to you, just interpret it ALL as a
compliment, you can never lose this way.
Interpret it as a compliment not only
in your OWN mind, but actually
VERBALIZE it to her as well.
So for example, if she says:
“You’re trying to pick me up, aren’t you?”
The best thing to reply would be:
“Yes, what makes you so lucky?”
This is actually TWO attractive things
you are doing here at once. Not only are
you interpreting it as a compliment that she
is lucky to have a guy like you chatting to her,
but it’s ALSO you “going with the flow” and
not arguing with her.
When you interpret things as compliments,
you automatically go with the flow AND
show value at the same time.
Arguing never works, it breaks down the momentum,
it ruins the vibe, it shows insecurity.
But interpreting it all as a compliment
and going with the flow works like magic.
And if you’re reading this right now, I
assure you that as informative as this
article is, this is just the BEGINNING.
If you would like to get the FULL scoop
on how to attract a fantastic woman, I
suggest you take the following steps:
STEP ONE:
My last CD, “Obliterating Approach Anxiety”
is CRUCIAL for getting the issue of
“Approach Anxiety” taken care of PERMANENTLY.
Normally back issues are not available,
but this CD is simply a MUST have
for any man who wants to be able to
approach women, so I suggest you
IMMEDIATELY get it by going here:
http://tinyurl.com/34vq36b
STEP TWO:
If you haven’t yet downloaded my book,
‘Get A Great Girl’, then definitely do
that now. It’s the foundation for how
to attract a woman who is attractive,
faithful, and intelligent.
This kind of woman is the ultimate ‘catch’-
and inside this book, I’ll show you how to
attract her, how to build a connection with
her, how to escalate to physical intimacy,
and how to KEEP her.
It’s at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
STEP THREE:
Learn in PERSON in my Real World Bootcamp,
where I will show you everything on REAL women
in REAL time.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
Be cool,
Michael Marks
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