The most important thing to me is to
deliver the truth on what is the best
course of action to meet and attract
a quality woman.
What you are about to read goes down
in real life every day, and I prove it in
real life in my bootcamps all year-round.
So let's get straight to some crucial
tips and insights:
1. NEVER QUALIFY YOURSELF
When you see a woman you'd like to
chat to, what's the first thought that
goes through your mind, especially
if she is attractive?
You're probably thinking, how can I
show "VALUE", right?
As soon as this thought goes into your
mind, you're already on the wrong track.
That's because you're already internally
thinking that you have to prove something,
and this thought will show in a concrete
physical form as well- it will show in
your body language and tonality, it will
show that you feel inferior to her.
The best thing you can say is whatever
the heck is the FIRST thing that comes
into your mind.
I mean the very first INSTANT.
The longer you wait, the more you screw
yourself up.
So let's say you are a fan of super-hero
movies, and you see a woman wearing a
BATMAN t-shirt, and the first thought
you have is that BATMAN is great, but
that SPIDERMAN is cooler, and you
immediately ACT on that and you
playfully say "hey, why are you wearing
a BATMAN t-shirt, SPIDERMAN is
way cooler!"
The reality is that if this is what you really
feel, and you are also feeling playful for real,
then this will work BEAUTIFULLY,
because you will be CONGRUENT to
it. By congruent I mean you will clearly
come across as being playful and as
enjoying super-heros.
This CONGRUENCY comes through in
your smile, your vocal tonality, your
eyebrows, EVERYTHING, including
things you aren't conscious of, but
a woman detects unconsciously as well.
I could go into an entire dissertation of
why this is, but for right now, just realize
that the human brain is already SUPER
ADVANCED, and super-powerful,
and already has powerful instincts for
this mating process, and that the more
you interfere with it through thinking,
the more you are actually stripping
yourself of your best instincts and power.
You end up questioning everything you
are doing ,because you start becoming
CONSCIOUS of it all, when in reality
it works best on an unconscious level.
However, since most of us already HAVE
been thinking too much and thus affected
our good wiring, there is good news- you
can GET BACK THAT POWER by following
the things I am teaching you.
So let's say, you DO start thinking
those negative thoughts, those thoughts
of "How do I show value? How do I
show I'm cool?"
Well then, at first, CONSCIOUSLY make
sure to not "sell" yourself. Don't try to stick
into the conversation your accomplishments,
your great education, great job, or anything
like that.
By the way, notice how in real life,
the most powerful people usually
NEVER try to show off about who
they are, and they never try to prove
anything. And the few of them who
DO try to qualify themselves NEVER
gain interest from anyone from this
behavior, it's never a good thing.
Now, it's different if a woman really wants
to know the details of your life, but before
that, she wants to know your PERSONALITY.
This is what "vibing" is all about.
It's about just manifesting the best elements
of your PERSONALITY.
So if you have a great sense of humor, then
you will find opportunities to USE that in
your conversation with her, no matter what,
because it's WHO you are.
And if you're not a really funny guy, that's
okay, too. You don't have to be. Maybe
you're an INTRIGUING guy, and you
will find a way to make the conversation
INTRIGUING because it's who you ARE.
You see, unlike the pick up artists, I don't
try to mold you into something that you're
not, because that will never work long term,
and I'm all about getting a woman for the
real thing, not just for playing games.
The irony is that what I teach actually
works better than the pick up artist
games anyway, because a woman
can always sense if you are being
yourself or not, and when you try
to be someone else, it comes across
as insecure.
So, instead of trying to prove how cool
you are, instead just actually REVEL in
the elements of your personality that are
already strong, and bring THAT out in
your conversation.
So whatever you are passionate about,
as long as it's POSITIVE, you can always
find an angle to bring that up in your
conversation. Even if the only thing
you are passionate about is TELEVISION
SHOWS, I promise you this can work
as well, in fact just for fun I often
show clients in bootcamps how chatting
with women about childhood tv shows
like the FLINTSTONES almost ALWAYS
works, because it's something that is
funny, innocent, and easily relatable.
Yup, right out of the blue, asking a woman who
is a total stranger, about her thoughts on the
FLINTSTONES, and whether Barney or Fred
would make a better husband!
Of course, after this, you then transition
to more meaningful conversation.
But for now, remember to NEVER qualify
yourself in your early conversation.
Also, realize that the reason qualifying yourself
Is so harmful is because it lets a woman know
not only that you are insecure, but it also tells
her that you are not revealing your real
personality, and that instead you are just
trying to tell her what you think she wants
to hear, so she is still wondering who the
heck you REALLY are, and that is what
she is genuinely interested in.
2.
MEN-TO-WOMEN RATIO IN
YOUR APPROACHES
What I mean by this, is that whenever
you are out with your buddies and you
want to chat to a woman or group of
women, realize that the dynamic should
always be MORE women than men.
So, if you would like to meet a woman
who is by herself, and you are with your
"wingman", then just approach her by
yourself.
Don't have your "wingman" hover in the
vicinity either, to check out the action.
In my bootcamps, I am able to work through
this issue for the sake of teaching, but it's not
something that you want to be doing normally.
Being a woman is not all easy, the reality
is that safety and avoiding "creepy-ness"
counts, so it's fine if you are one guy
approaching a GROUP of women, or
two guys approaching two women or
a huge group of women, that's all fine.
It shows the women that you have guts,
and also allows the women the comfort
of numbers and safety.
So keep the ratio equal guys to women,
or MORE women than guys.
3. DO NOT EJECT
This is part of how a woman
SUBCONSCIOUSLY tests if you
believe in yourself or not.
A woman wants you, as a man,
to be OOZING this confidence.
She doesn't need you to look
like a model, but she does
need you to be THE MAN.
Do NOT eject or leave a conversation
with a woman just because there is
a moment of silence, or because you
feel nervous, or because you don't know
what to say.
In the beginning of learning the skill of
starting and keeping a great conversation
going with a woman who is a total
stranger, you will feel very awkward.
You will sometimes get some great feedback,
the woman seems interested and friendly,
and then you run out of things to say, or
maybe she says something to you that
seems to ruining everything, and you
will want to just GET OUT of there.
DON'T DO THIS, unless the woman
has made it clear she is not interested
in chatting.
For example, let's say you are chatting
with a woman, and then after your intro,
she says something like this:
"That was really smooth, is that your act?
Do you do this a lot?"
This is actually NOT necessarily her being
rude at all! This might just be a woman
wondering if you are a player or if you are
actually interested in knowing her for real.
Most guys will think this is some kind of
insult, or some kind of message that is
saying "go away", when in reality this
kind of message is not that at all.
So, STAY in the interaction!
Don't go anywhere, don't leave!
Similarly, don't leave out of your OWN
negative thoughts!
Sometimes guys will feel that it was cool
enough that the woman was friendly for
a few moments, and that they better leave
before the woman changes her mind!
DON'T do that!
Keep the interaction going conversation-wise
for as long as it naturally can go, as you two
get to know each other better.
THEN, tell her it was nice meeting her and
that you'd like to chat with her again, and
you can then ask for her email, number,
etc. Don't worry if she doesn't give you
all her contact info right away. "Step by
step" is a healthy attitude for both of you.
And for those awkward pauses, just take
a deep breath, chill out, and you can
even give her a wink and playfully say
that these kinds of moments are where
the drama of life unfolds.
The truth is, if you are listening well to
her, then you will have emotionally
meaningful questions and comments
all regarding what she is communicating
to you about, and you will never have
to have an awkward silence again.
This is a SKILL, you can LEARN how
to do all this.
4. LISTEN WELL, EVEN IN A CLUB.
Sometimes listening well not only means
avoiding judging her for what she says,
but even on a more basic level, just
actually HEARING her!
This can be a challenge in a loud club.
I'm not a huge fan of meeting women in clubs,
because I find that clubs tend to attract a lot
of heavy drinkers and smokers, something I
don't do, and it also tends to attract people who
aren't really all that serious about relationships,
but it occasionally does happen.
If you are in a club, even if the music is loud,
and it's hard to hear a woman, do whatever you
need to do to hear her:
Step in closer, put your ear next to her lips,
this is actually a way to build a bit of intimacy
although it's kind of premature. It definitely
shows confidence no matter what, though.
Standing there not knowing what she's saying
and just nodding like a robot, is not cool,
so by making an effort to hear her, you're
showing that you have the right to actually
KNOW what she's saying rather than just
nodding to everything she says no matter
what, and it also shows confidence that
you believe she WILL make the effort
for you and it also shows you care enough
to want to know what she really said.
If you can't hear what she's saying, you
won't be able to create a connection with
her. CONNECTION is crucial, it's what
takes things beyond a superficial level
and into the level of trust and real intimacy
where things can truly simmer and heat up
beautifully.
5. REWARD ONLY WHAT SHE EARNED
Don't go around giving false or superficial
compliments, it only shows a woman you
have no standards and it reeks of desperation,
and besides, it's not even logical- why would
you want a woman who has nothing besides
her looks that you like?
Only a wuss acts that way.
And being a wuss is not cool.
Have higher standards for yourself and for others.
If a woman is saying nothing that appeals to
your personality or your values, then move
on to someone else. This action in itself
fills you with a greater sense of empowerment.
When a woman really DOES do something cool
or says something you can really appreciate,
THEN you can authentically and genuinely
give her a meaningful compliment, i.e. telling
her how awesome it is that she is creative and
that she composes her own music, etc, etc.
6. MEANS VS. ENDS VALUES
When a woman asks you about yourself,
such as "what you do like to do" or "what
is your goal in life", etc, etc, she is not
asking for DRY FACTS, she is asking
for the EMOTIONAL RELEVANCE
behind those facts.
So for examples, if a woman asks you what
you do, and you say you study Finance, and
that your goal is to be financially independent,
that's fine, but you can add so much more
JUICE to this by giving her the EMOTIONAL
relevance behind these things:
In this example, you might instead focus on
how you find it an ADRENALINE rush to
make investments and STAY IN there when
everyone else is trying to sell because they
are scared of prices dropping, but you know
that this is the best time to BUY, and that
the whole pressure and stress is actually
something you enjoy, you find it really
tests your inner strength and guts and
courage and also your sense of the market.
Do you see how this is better than just
saying you study finance?
And rather than just saying you want to be
financially independent, ask yourself WHY
this matters to you.
If, for example, it's because it means you
would be able to help OTHERS too, as well
as to enjoy the excitement of investing on
a BIGGER level, then EXPLAIN that!
And be SPECIFIC, give DETAILS.
So for example, you might tell a true story
of how you gave money to a veteran once,
and even though it wasn't a lot of money,
it felt great to be giving something BACK
to the people who gave us the freedom
to live in our country today.
Do you see how this makes facts come ALIVE?
There is no need to ever LIE, you just have
to first ask these questions to yourSELF.
7. BUILD UP YOUR VOCAL PROJECTION
Training your voice to be able to project
even in places where there is a lot of
loud music will not only help you in
those places, it will allow you to easily
project your voice in quieter environments
so that it seems like a joke how easy it is.
If you can't be HEARD, then you can't
expect to ever get the girl.
One exercise for strengthening your vocal
projection is to imagine that your voice
is coming from your abdomen, not your
throat. This will help, as will actually
forcing yourself to speak to women even
in loud clubs, not for the sake of meeting
them necessarily but for the sake of
building up your vocal projection.
This has nothing to do with having a deep
or high voice, it's about PROJECTION, and
finding it EASY to make yourself heard no
matter where you are, and this also gives you
a ton of extra confidence.
8. KNOW WHEN TO SLIP AWAY
If you have both had a great conversation that's
lasted anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes, don't try
to turn it into a marriage proposal or a one night
stand either.
Sure, there are exceptions to every rule, but
in general, a 20 minute conversation is PLENTY
for her to remember you if you've done it right.
That's a good time to go and then you can
always chat to her later with her number
or email or text, etc, that she gave you.
Think about it:
What are you going to gain by staying there?
You're not going to stay there all day or night no
matter what, and you have already established that
you are a cool guy, and you have bonded to a degree
as well.
Build more later, but for now, if you stay there
all day, you will usually just look like you
have nothing else to do in your life, and the
truth is, you SHOULD have other IMPORTANT
things to do in your life.
By leaving after a brief but SOLID 10-20
minute chat, you also give the woman time
to FANTASIZE and think about you long
after the meeting with you has ended, where
her feelings for you can grow and gel into
perfection.
Much better than the clueless guys who
just keep going on and on and end up
ruining all the good vibes they built up.
As you can see, what you have read are
SOLID insights that work in the REAL
WORLD. This is not just "act positive"
or "be confident" advice, it's the best
actual course of action to take in the
real world, if you want to attract a
quality woman TODAY.
If you want to take your success with women
to the next level, then I suggest you download
my book, "Get A Great Girl", IMMEDIATELY.
It's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
And if you haven't yet taken advantage of
my FULL arsenal of programs to give you the
EDGE in meeting, attracting, and KEEPING
the woman of your dreams, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.html
To learn at the FASTEST POSSIBLE SPEED,
then it's time you signed up for my
REAL WORLD BOOTCAMP, where you will
learn in PERSON.
In the Real World Bootcamp, I will show
you EVERYTHING you need to know, I will
make sure you MASTER these skills.
Here's what the most recent graduate of
my Real World Bootcamp had to say,
from the program this past weekend:
"All in all, it was a great experience and having mike
by your side is priceless. Mike helps keep you in a
state that is ready to talk to girls which is crucial to
your success.
He will also push you to your max and remind you
that no matter what happens you can't eject from the
interaction and the ironic part is that girls love this
attitude.
I saw in this bootcamp in real life how this attitude
is what really turns women on!!!
SEEING is believing!
It's not the looks, the money, or your car but your
attitude about yourself and the emotions you create
in her. And without mike by my side I probably
would have been like all the other guys and would
have wussed out in the presence of a beautiful woman.
But because mike was there to help push me I was
able to portray that attitude and that belief and was
able to attract beautiful women and get emails
and numbers - something i haven't been able to do
before the Bootcamp!"
Check out the details of the Bootcamp here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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