I've been coaching several guys over
the past few days, from really advanced
guys to guys who are beginners, and
it's brought a few things to my attention
that I really want to make clear.
So here we go:
If you are starting out, and trying to
approach women, you ABSOLUTELY MUST
get REGULAR ONGOING PRACTICE.
It does not need to be for a long
amount of TIME per day, but it must
be something that happens at LEAST
several times a week, for a few MINUTES
each time.
So what I mean is, all you have to do
is approach women for about FIVE TO TEN
MINUTES per day, for at least about
THREE or FOUR DAYS a week.
It's the REGULAR, CONSISTENT PRACTICE,
even for just a FEW MINUTES, that is
FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
more important than doing it once
for several hours, and then not
doing it again for a few weeks.
Please trust me on this, I have been
in this for over a DECADE and I know
how these skills are learned.
Now, regarding the "what do I say to her"
part, here is what you can do:
You have two choices.
One, is you simply APPROACH and say "hi",
and in the beginning, YES YOU MIGHT FEEL
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, and it is THAT
discomfort which makes you freeze up
and not know what to say.
So your first few conversations might suck,
yeah, totally.
THAT IS JUST PART OF THE PROCESS, like
going to the gym the first time and
not being able to lift a lot of weight.
But, as you make the approaches, each time
you will be working your way to getting
DESENSITIZED AND GETTING CALMER, thus
allowing your brain to now operate the
executive level functions and allowing
you to tap into your subconscious creativity
so you will NEVER need pick up lines.
In fact, let's say you approach a
woman and you even say "Hi, I saw you
from far away, and as a man, I had to
come over and say hello".
So that's FINE, if you say it with confidence
and not apologizing for being a man.
Then, she might say thank you, she might blush,
she might not say much.
In the beginning, you might not know what to
say next. Your mind
might be racing. But
as you practice, you will calm down and then
you can apply all the strategies, such as
OBSERVING THINGS ABOUT HER OR THE SITUATION.
If she is reading a book about history, or
psychology, or a magazine about entertainment,
or if she is doing her college schoolwork,
you might make a COMMENT on it that will
spark HER feedback, and once SHE is talking,
you are home-free, because you can keep on
getting her to talk more about HERSELF,
which is always better than going on and
on about yourself, unless she ASKS YOU
about yourself, which is what will happen
after she talks to you for a while anyway.
Keep in mind, women are not expecting you to
be some MAGICIAN or ENTERTAINER, all they
are expecting is that you can convey that
you are a cool dude with some social skills,
a sense of humor, and goals and a life of his
own.
Now, if you are not prepared to have to go
through the process of getting desensitized
and having a few original conversations in
the beginning that suck, there is the
alternative strategy, but please keep in
mind that one of the reasons I PROMOTE
the DON'T USE ANY TRICKS AND JUST GO IN
THERE WITHOUT ANYTHING MEMORIZED is that
it FORCES you to realize, after doing
a bunch of approaches and you start to
calm down, that women DON'T NEED ANY
B.S. TRICKS FROM YOU.
They don't
need to be manipulated. They ARE
going to talk to you if you are
CALM ENOUGH and if your INNER GAME
is strong enough.
Maybe not EVERY woman.
Just like guys,
some women are nasty, but most women
are not. Hey, some of
them might be
spoiled, but the vast majority of them
actually have very good social skills
and if they are single will be quite
open to chatting.
And I think it's important for your INNER
GAME to be trained WITHOUT using too many
crutches. I prefer
that men focus on
learning how to IMPROVE THEMSELVES,
their communications skills, their sense
of humor, their insights into women,
rather than learning "pick up tricks"
because when you think it is your
pick up tricks that gets you women
and not YOU that is getting you women,
you become very insecure, which ultimately
spells disaster for relationships because
you can't fake it forever.
However, if you use a MINIMUM of external
tactics, and you try to keep it as non
"gamey" as possible, that can be okay too.
So, another strategy is to keep abreast
of the MASS CULTURE ENTERTAINMENT NEWS,
since it's a light and fluffy topic and
not depressing.
So, for example, you can always start a
light conversation with a woman by
mentioning something in the popular
culture. For example,
right now there
is a LEGO MOVIE. I
hear it's actually
a great movie, but I might joke with
a woman about it, because I do find it
genuinely funny, by asking her what
she thinks of all these movies based
on things that are already products.
It might go like this:
"Hey there, I've been thinking about
something and curious what you might
think. Everything is so commercialized
now, that even movies are commercials,
so we start the movie with commercials
for other things and other movies, and
then the movie itself is a commercial
for something, like the new LEGO movie,
or a movie based on a kid's toy, pretty
soon there will be MCDONALD'S THE MOVIE,
or COCA COLA THE MOVIE!!!! You know
what I mean?"
Now, something like this will probably
at least get a chuckle and some response,
so now you are in a CONVERSATION, and
whatever she says you can now RESPOND
TO.
Remember, this whole dynamic ultimately
is about sex, and men and women, and
she is NOT expecting you to be a
some interstellar world-famous comedian,
she is expecting you to be a MAN with
the social skills to meet her.
This gets me to the next thing, which is
regarding the physical stuff.
It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
important to understand
that even good girls have the same drives
physically in the bedroom as any other woman,
and in fact in general what goes on in the
bedroom and what turns people on tends to
NOT be politically correct.
So, if you come across as too anti-septic,
as too CONCERNED ABOUT ACTING SO NICE,
you actually are telling her SUBSONSCIOUS
mind that YOU are "too nice" for the bedroom,
which would make HER feel UNCOMFORTABLE
being NAUGHTY in the bedroom.
THIS IS PART OF THE REASON SO CALLED
BADBOYS GET RESULTS WITH WOMEN.
You don't need to be a BADBOY to just
UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT WOMEN ARE THINKING
IN A BEDROOM SENSE IS NOT POLITICALLY
CORRECT.
So women DON'T WANT JERKS, but they DO
want men who can make them feel
COMFORTABLE being NAUGHTY.
If you come across as too much of a PREACHER
or PERFECT, or TOO SELFLESS, she figures you
are probably going to want things to be all
NICEY NICEY IN THE BEDROOM, or that you might
think SHE IS A NICEY NICEY GIRL IN THE
BEDROOM.
This is the great irony, where the good girls
are good people, but they can't find good guys
who GET THIS STUFF.
So that's why you MUST behave with assertiveness,
with confidence, with women, so they can
get the subconscious message that just like
YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH GETTING WHAT YOU
WANT, YOU EXPECT THEM TO BE COMFORTABLE
BEING ASSERTIVE WITH YOU AS WELL, AND THAT
IS A GREAT THING FOR A WOMAN TO KNOW.
Let the great quality women know they
are not going to be entering a world
of MR. ROGERS with you.
Finally, I want to mention one last thing
regarding quality LOYAL women.
LOYALTY is a trait that spills over into
EVERYTHING.
If a woman is giving you signs that she is
not loyal to her FRIENDS, to her WORKPLACE,
etc, then she is NOT GOING TO BE LOYAL TO
YOU EITHER.
I thought that was an important tip to
share with you, and it's just ONE of
TONS of PURE GOLD TIPS in my program
"Attracting the Ultra-Hotties," at:
Now, I've mentioned in this
newsletter the IMPORTANCE OF INNER GAME when it comes to attracting women. For my ULTIMATE PROGRAM on INNER GAME, you absolutely owe it to yourself to get my WARRIOR WITHIN program, and it's at:
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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