MAN as opposed to a player or a
“nice guy” is that a MAN is assertive,
a "player" is manipulative, and a nice
guy is submissive.
The nice guy tends to only get the
few women who happen to feel sorry
for him in a poor puppy kind of way.
The manipulative player type ends up
showing some form of confidence compared
to the nice guy but ultimately his true
colors show and he loses a quality woman.
The MAN however, he’s an expert at driving
through life in the ASSERTIVE lane.
Here’s where people get confused though:
They think that the only way to be assertive
is to be “in your face” or “nasty”, and this
makes it really hard to consistently be
assertive for them.
And yet, being assertive is a MASSIVE factor
in what turns on women, and it’s not only
your being assertive with women, but when
women seeing you being ASSERTIVE with
everyone in your life- including at the
workplace, with your friends, family,
associates, etc.
What tends to happen with a lot of good guys
is that at some point in our lives a long time
ago, we learned that it’s better to NOT be
assertive, this way we wouldn’t be considered
a “threat” to the bullies, we wouldn’t get
any undue attention, and we would be more
“submissive” just to get along.
Unfortunately, we often eventually EXPLODE
after years and years of bottling up our own
self-esteem and repressing our own dignity
and even repressing our own desires.
Which ends up causing us to go to the OPPOSITE
extreme and blowing up on the people we feel
are being unfair to us. And when we explode,
our behavior is not seen as assertive, it’s seen
as imbalanced, irrational, and nasty.
The real answer is to be more ASSERTIVE in general,
which solves so many problems and prevents the
build-up that can explode later otherwise.
Let me give you an example of a technique
of being more assertive:
THE BROKEN RECORD
In “the broken record” technique, you simply
make sure you know what you want, and you
keep on repeating that every time you hear
the other person saying they want you to do
something else.
This also involves another strategy called
using the “I” statement, because you are
saying it’s YOU who wants or feels something,
thereby taking on full responsibility for how
you feel, and this actually is empowering
because it means you have the right to
express yourself and not have to blame
anyone else for it, and that others should
respect the way you feel.
So here’s how the broken record and the
I statement could work together in a situation:
Let’s say you approach a woman and you chat
and you want to see her again.
Now, you know what you want- you want to
see her again.
Watch how being assertive is actually attractive
here:
You say:
“I enjoyed meeting you. We should meet up.How’s Tuesday night for some Starbucks and
wonderful conversation with yours truly?”
She says:
“Oh, Tuesday night I tutor piano lessons.”The non-assertive guy already feels REJECTED
and then, maybe but not likely, says something,
but it’s very UNSPECIFIC at best, like:
“Maybe we can meet up sometime”.
Being more assertive, he would say:
“I want to see you again. How about before your lesson.”(Notice the absence of a question mark, it's almost
a STATEMENT rather than a question.)
Or even:
“I want to meet up. How about after?
Tuesday is a great day for me, but if it doesn’t
work by you, then let me know what day does.”
If she says a day that does NOT work for you,
like for example Monday, a non assertive man
might AGREE to it just because he doesn’t want
to displease the woman or lose her, and of course
the fear shows up in subtle ways, so even when
he says “yes” he has actually LOST the woman
because she can tell in his body language that
something has just been given up in terms of
his own dignity.
This PERSISTENCE with a relaxed demeanor
shows CONFIDENCE, it shows that you believe
you have value, it shows also on a subtle level
that you get what you want in life, which is another
sign of a winner. And none of this is being a jerk.
Similarly, when a woman sees how you deal
with pressure from OTHER people in your
life, it can be a turn on for her to see that you
are assertive with them as well.
So let’s say at work everyone is used to taking
advantage of you helping them with their work,
and asking you to do an unfair amount of work.
One of the things you can do here is again
the broken record:
Example:
“Ted, I need you to help me this weekend again
with completing the project.”
You:
“I can’t do that, as I have a major familyengagement this weekend”.
Him or Her To You:
“But this is really important, I don’t know what’sgoing on.”
You:
"I understand, and I really have a major engagementthis weekend that is going to take all my time.”
You’ll notice that after you keep on STICKING
to your “broken record that keeps repeating.”
they will eventually BREAK and give in.
They may say something like:
“Okay, but can you at least sign these formsthat allow me to use the resource centre this
weekend?”
You:
“Yes, I can do that.”Then they will say:
"Thank you."
And you’ll say:
“You’re welcome.”Notice how in the above statements, you
were using "I" statements and repeating
like a broken record, sticking to your point.
Here’s another thing:
Once you’ve stated your assertive position,
don’t EXPLAIN it for a half hour.
Instead, seal your lips.
By going on and on explaining yourself, you
are actually WEAKENING the entire assertive
core to your message.
This INCLUDES of course in your interactions
with women when you are in a RELATIONSHIP
as well!
Being assertive never ends, from the moment
you meet her, to long after you are having
wild nights together and beyond.
But the thing is, it’s important to realize that this is
a TRANSFORMATION that must come GRADUALLY
and consistently, with an intelligent ROAD-MAP for
how to go about all this so that you STICK to the
path of becoming "The Assertive Man".
Now unlike all the hype out there for everything
from bodybuilding magazines that feature steroid
injected men who claim they got their results from
some workout routine, or the hype and outlandish
claims from some folks who sell "pick up artist
tactics", what I am teaching you here, as you can
see, actually makes SENSE.
It’s not HYPE.
It’s based on REAL RESEARCH in the real world.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I have MOUNTAINS-FULL of effective strategies
and insights on this topic, including explicit
clear examples of how to apply ALL the
different strategies for skyrocketing your
assertiveness with women all without
coming across as a jerk or arrogant,
and all in a way that feels it’s consistent
with your personality.
It's all inside my special audio program called
"The Assertive Man". This is a jam-packed
program that had to go well OVER 1-hour in
length in order to include all the crucial content.
The greatest part of all this is that you can be
using it in MINUTES from now since I have made
this program INSTANTLY DOWNLOADABLE!
I could easily be charging over $100 for this program,
especially since the strategies and concepts you will
learn are not just something you are going to use once,
but will prove to be ESSENTIAL over and over again
for the rest of your life, anytime you interact with women.
By deciding to make this program available to you
for only $19.97, I have made it a true "steal".
So take control of your life in this area, and download
this program now by clicking here.
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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