One of the key traits that defines a MAN
as opposed to a player or to a “nice guy”
is that a MAN is assertive, a player is
manipulative, and a nice guy is submissive.
The nice guy tends to only get the
few women who happen to feel sorry
for him in a poor puppy kind of way.
The manipulative player type ends up
showing some form of confidence compared
to the nice guy but ultimately his true
colors show and he loses a quality woman.
The MAN however, he’s an expert at driving
through life in the ASSERTIVE lane.
Here’s where people get confused though:
They think that the only way to be assertive
is to be “in your face” or “nasty”, and this
makes it really hard to consistently be
assertive for them.
And yet, being assertive is a MASSIVE factor
in what turns on women, and it’s not only
your being assertive with women, but when
women seeing you being ASSERTIVE with
everyone in your life- including at the workplace,
with your friends, family, associates, etc.
What tends to happen with a lot of good guys
is that at some point in our lives a long time
ago, we learned that it’s better to NOT be
assertive, this way we wouldn’t be considered
a “threat” to the bullies, we wouldn’t get
any undue attention, and we would be more
“submissive” just to get along.
Unfortunately, we often eventually EXPLODE
after years and years of bottling up our own
self-esteem and repressing our own dignity
and even repressing our own desires.
Which ends up causing us to go to the OPPOSITE
extreme and blowing up on the people we feel
are being unfair to us. And when we explode,
our behavior is not seen as assertive, it’s seen
as imbalanced and irrational and nasty.
The real answer is to more ASSERTIVE in general,
which solves so many problems and prevents the
build up that can explode later otherwise.
Let me give you an example of a technique
of being more assertive:
THE BROKEN RECORD
In “the broken record” technique, you simply
make sure you know what you want, and you
keep on repeating that every time you hear
the other person saying they want you to do
something else.
This also involves another strategy called
using the “I” statement, because you are
saying it’s YOU who wants or feels something,
thereby taking on full responsibility for how
you feel, and this actually is empowering
because it means you have the right to
express yourself and not have to blame
anyone else for it, and that others should
respect the way you feel.
So here’s how the broken record and the
I statement could work together in a situation:
Let’s say you approach a woman and you chat
and you want to see her again.
Now, you know what you want- you want to
see her again.
Watch how being assertive is actually attractive
here:
You say:
“I enjoyed meeting you. We should meet up.
How’s Tuesday night for some Starbucks and
wonderful conversation with yours truly?”
She says: “Oh, Tuesday night I tutor piano lessons.”
The non assertive guy already feels REJECTED
and then, maybe but not likely, says something,
but it’s very UNSPECIFIC at best, like, “Maybe we can
meet up sometime”.
Being more assertive, he would say:
“I want to see you again. How about before your lesson”
Or even:
“I want to meet up. How about after?
Tuesday is a great day for me, but if it doesn’t
work by you, then let me know what day does.”
If she says a day that does NOT work for you,
like for example Monday, a non assertive man
might AGREE to it just because he doesn’t want
to displease the woman or lose her, and of course
the fear shows up in subtle ways, so even when
he says “yes” he has actually LOST the woman
because she can tell in his body language that
something has just been given up in terms of
his own dignity.
This PERSISTENCE with a relaxed demeanor
shows CONFIDENCE, it shows that you believe
you have value, it shows also on a subtle level
that you get what you want in life, which is
another sign of a winner. And none of this
is being a jerk.
Similarly, when a woman sees how you deal
with pressure from OTHER people in your
life, it can be a turn on for her to see that you
are assertive with them as well.
So let’s say at work everyone is used to taking
advantage of you helping them with their work,
and asking you to do an unfair amount of work.
One of the things you can do here is again
the broken record
Example:
“Ted, I need you to help me this weekend again
with completing the project”
You: “I can’t do that, as I have a major family
engagement this weekend”.
“But this is really important, I don’t know what’s
going on”
“I understand, and I really have a major engagement
this weekend that is going to take all my time.”
You’ll notice that after you keep on STICKING
to your “broken record that keeps repeating”
they will eventually BREAK and give in.
They may say something like:
“Okay, but can you at least sign these forms
That allow me to use the resource centre this
Weekend?”
You: “Yes, I can do that.”
Then they will say thank you, and you’ll say
“you’re welcome.”.
Notice how in the above statements, you
Were using *I* statements and repeating
like a broken record, sticking to your point.
Here’s another thing:
Once you’ve stated your assertive position,
don’t EXPLAIN it for a half hour.
Instead, seal your lips.
By going on and on explaining yourself, you
are actually WEAKENING the entire assertive
core to your message.
This INCLUDES of course in your interactions
with women when you are in a RELATIONSHIP
as well!
Being assertive never ends, from the moment
you meet her, to long after you are having
wild nights together and beyond.
But the thing is, it’s important to realize
that this is a TRANSFORMATION that must come
from having an intelligent ROAD-MAP for how
to go about all this, so that you truly
become The Assertive Man.
Now unlike all the hype out there for everything
from bodybuilding magazines that feature steroid
injected men who claim they got their results
from some workout routine, or the hype out
there from folks who sell pick up artist tactics
and claim they got supermodels from using
pick up artist tactics instead of the real truth
which is that they got nothing of the sort,
what I am teaching you here, as you can see,
actually makes SENSE.
It’s not HYPE.
It’s based on REAL RESEARCH in the real world.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I have MOUNTAINS-FULL of even MORE powerful
effective strategies and insights on this
topic and TONS of others that are CRUCIAL
for your success with women, that you can
find in my Actions For Attraction CD Set
by going here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/ActionsForAttraction.html
This package contains a mighty combination
of special skills that you will use immediately
when approaching women, and you owe it
to yourself to use them to get the woman
of your dreams.
Not getting this program is just plain silly, as it's
PACKED with GOLDEN insights you will use
IMMEDIATELY on women, from the first
moment you SEE a woman you want to approach,
till long after you are both together.
Again, it's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/ActionsForAttraction.html
And to learn at the FASTEST SPEED POSSIBLE,
come out to my Real World BOOTCAMP.
The Real World Bootcamp is exactly what it says:
I will train you 'hands-on' in the real world.
It's just you and me, and the entire world
of women, and you get complete 1 on 1 private
instruction in real time at ALL times.
Direct, personal, exclusively private 1-to-1
instruction, allows you to get mind-boggling
results at an incredibly ACCELERATED rate.
That's right, with this exclusive, accelerated
program, you will graduate with the skills to
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Find out more at:
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Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S. To check out all my programs for getting
and keeping a fantastic woman, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php
For now, tomorrow, and for always, BE THE MAN.
Michael Marks
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