Approaching women seems tough, but
it doesn't have to be. What I'm going to
do here is share the most important
7 SECRETS with you for approaching
women. Screwing these up are the 7
most common causes for not attracting
a woman upon approaching her.
So, here are the 7 most common devastating
mistakes, as well as the RIGHT things to
do instead.
1. NOT GETTING INTO "JUICY"
CONVERSATION EARLY ENOUGH
So, let's say you are already approaching
women and starting conversations, you
might notice that women will just be
polite.
You aren't seeing their eyes light up.
Keep in mind that this woman has no idea
who you are, she has no idea that you have
gone through a lot in this life, that you are
not only a good person, but a pretty cool
person as well. She knows NOTHING
about you.
And you can't start listing your resume there.
So the ONLY thing SHE can judge you on here
is the conversation she's having with you and
how it FEELS to her.
So, you have to get her into "FEELING" state
pretty darn fast.
Now, you do NOT want to overcompensate
with becoming a CLOWN or PERFORMER.
You should start the conversation with something
low-key, like if you were at a card store and you
were commenting on the choice of card she is
holding, i.e. a father's day card, and telling her
she must have a close relationship with her dad
to buy such a card, etc.
THEN however you want to UP the ante pretty
fast, to BUILD from there. You want to get
her FEELING damn good. So you might go
from there into something that is either very
INTERESTING, or something that is very funny,
or something that truly raises her self-esteem
and makes her feel better about herself, you
can CHOOSE whatever fits best for your personality.
EXAMPLE:
So, giving the example of the woman at
the card store, you can go HUMOROUS
by telling her that she's just trying
to butter up her dad so he can buy her
a Jaguar...
..Or you can go into the INTRIGUING and
genuinely meaningful compliment that raises her
self-esteem by speaking about how girls who get
along well with their dads tend to be the girls
who have less drama issues- and this would
PROMPT a response from her that was a lot
more involved on her part- it wouldn't just be
her trying to get rid of you, since now she is
actually engaged in something meaningful to her.
Also, you could COMBINE the above, and go
from humorous/funny, to the more serious and
intriguing and raising self-esteem style
conversation.
COMBINING emotions is a VERY powerful thing.
Imagine if you get a woman laughing, then get
her feeling intrigued, and then feeling better
about herself, all within a span of just a few
MINUTES.
You are going to be MEMORABLE.
You are going to be the guy she wants to CALL,
and all the other guys that just ogled her or said
trivial stuff to her will not even be REMEMBERED.
If you aren't getting the conversation into
the right EMOTIONAL ZONE very
QUICKLY, it's no surprise that your
interactions aren't amounting to any
results.
2. TOO MUCH PICK UP ARTIST
"PLAY HARD TO GET" BEHAVIOR
This is a huge one. Most guys are trying
so hard to show they are not interested,
because they are told by the "dating gurus"
and pick up artists that this will make the
woman more interested- so the guys end
up standing way too far from the women,
and talking from too much of a distance,
and the guys try to also avoid ANY type
of comment that might sound like they
are interested.
The truth is that although you shouldn't give
compliments for the sake of compliments,
you SHOULD reward a woman for the
things that she really EARNED.
The KEYWORD here though is EARNED.
If you give compliments or if you seek
rapport for things she didn't EARN,
you are behaving as an underling,
a needy desperate guy.
HOWEVER, once she has EARNED it,
it's an entirely different matter.
So if she is telling you things that you really
find worthy of respect or interest, well then
you actually MUST show and tell her this,
because it is actually a way of letting her know
that she stands OUT from the rest, that she is
NOT just another woman, that you are NOT
just looking at her from a superficial point
of view.
3. INSENSITIVITY TO THE EMOTIONAL
VIBE OF THE SITUATION
This is something that is a MAJOR factor
in screwing up attraction.
This often stems from not being present
in the moment, and being too caught up
in trying to achieve a certain outcome.
This pressure to achieve a certain outcome
is like a constant ALARM blaring in your
ear that prevents you from actually listening
properly and from FEELING what a woman
is actually feeling and trying to convey to you.
A lot of communication, in fact most of it,
is not in the words themselves, so if you are
ONLY listening to a woman's WORDS and not the
full depth of the tonality, expression, and
context behind those words, then you are often
missing what her real message is.
Here's a helpful hint- most of the time,
a woman is just trying to feel good, like
all humans do. So rather than focusing
on how you can show off how smart
you are, instead think about how you
can be CREATING A GOOD VIBE.
If she is talking about something a bit sad,
i.e. some tragedy or war, then don't show
off how much you know about that issue,
rather you should create RAPPORT to make
her feel understood, and then gently LEAD
the conversation to somewhere more
POSITIVE.
Look for the bright side of things, and
the reality is that if not for negative things,
there would BE no positive side, so if the
conversation is not going down the right
track, it's just another OPPORTUNITY
for you to create AWESOME emotions
where they didn't exist before, and that
makes you even cooler than every
other guy who couldn't do that.
A woman will not remember the details of
the conversation, she will only remember
how she FELT during it. So make it feel
GOOD.
Listen when she is speaking, listen for what
is the EMOTIONAL crux of what she is
saying, don't just be thinking of how you
can be the most cool guy to show how
you can give the most clever response.
The most clever response is the response
that simply FEELS good. You'll get
farther by NOT showing off then you
would by showing how clever and
"cool" you are. Don't put yourself
down of course, just don't make it
all about YOU. And that's how
she will remember YOU.
4. NOT PROGRESSING THE INTERACTION
An interaction has natural stages,
you start off low key, you build
up steam and connect to each other,
and then you have to get her contact
info.
Out of fear, most guys will just stay
in whatever stage they are in, because
it feels good to not be rejected. However,
if you don't PROGRESS the interaction
to getting her number, and from getting
her number, to getting the date, to
getting physical, to relationship, etc,
etc, then what is the point?
So often, guys will open up a conversation
with something low key, and the women
will be receptive, but then the guys
STAY in that zone the entire time
because it feels good to get that
validation and they don't want to risk
LOSING that sense of validation.
So MOVE THE INTERACTION FORWARD.
5. NOT BEING FLIRTATIOUS
If you are trying to meet a woman, then it's
CRUCIAL that she understands that there is
a sexual tension to the interaction.
So, the key to being more flirty and sexual
is being more PLAYFUL in your interaction,
combined with having a bit of a mischievous
glint in your eye.
6. OVERCOMPENSATING INSECURITIES
This is a HUGE one. We all fear not being
accepted, because of whatever it is we are
insecure about. So what do we do? We
OVERCOMPENSATE for that insecurity,
and we don't even realize it. It usually
comes across as either being insecure
or what is worse, as being a JERK.
If you start a conversation by trying to
protect yourself against your fear, usually
it will work AGAINST you.
So, for example, let's say you are insecure
about how much money you earn. Well,
if you very early in a conversation said
something like "superficial things are so
over-rated, I would never be caught working
for a big corporation". If you're bald, if
you're short, if you're ANYTHING you
are insecure about- the reality is that it's
NOT an issue but if you START with
"Hi, my name is Mac, would you date
a short guy?" then you clearly are showing
that this is a major obsession or fear.
Same with "Hi, I work for minimum wage,
but I LOVE my job" that also shows that
you are obsessed with the money issue since
it's the first thing you brought up.
Just be comfortable in your own skin, and
don't bring up the issue at all. There's
a lot more to you than you think, a lot
more to you than the things you are
insecure about.
This rule also applies for not trying to
explain anything about yourself or situation
that you think is not cool- so if your are renting
a car because your regular better car is at the
shop, don't say "this is just a rental- I have
a better car" just DON'T BRING IT UP,
otherwise it comes across as you feeling
inferior worth compared to what you
feel her worth is.
And when YOU feel your worth is low,
that is the ultimate litmus test to a woman
of your worth. YOU are the one who
has to know what you're worth. If you
don't feel it, how can she?
7. REVEALING TOO MUCH ABOUT
YOURSELF TOO EARLY
Now, the problem with this is that it is
the behavior of someone who feels that
he is going to get rejected.
So, if you just approached a woman, don't
start telling her within 30 seconds "man,
I'm so tired, I just got in from LA" or
"I'm so tired, I was up all night with
my agent on the phone closing a deal"
etc, etc.
It's OBVIOUS to her that you are throwing
around the words "LA" "AGENT" "closing
the deal", etc.
Well, those are 7 SUPER IMPORTANT
tips that you can now go out and apply
IMMEDIATELY, and you will notice
a MASSIVE difference, TODAY.
And yet, that is just the TIP of the ICEBERG.
If you want the FULL PICTURE on attracting the
most fantastic quality women, inside and out,
then I suggest you get my Warrior Within DVD Set-
this program is all about how to get a truly great
girlfriend and how to keep her.
This program will show you in EXPLICIT and
CLEAR DETAIL everything you need to know about
getting a woman who is the 'real thing'.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S. To check out ALL my programs for
meeting and attracting the woman of your
dreams, including my live trainings and
the Real World Bootcamp, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php
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