What You Should Really Be Doing In The Opener

I've been getting a bunch of emails
regarding my last newsletters, so 
I'm going to try to quickly answer
something and clear something up.
 
An opener to a conversation might be,
for example, some topic or theme that
would be appropriate as an ice-breaker
or conversation starter, in a certain
type of environment.
 
There are tons of possible topics,
so for example, in a coffee shop
you can start a conversation about
how addicted to caffeine we've
become as a society, or you can
ask her what her worst vice is,
and that your worst is coffee,
or you can ask her to rate 
these vices in order - coffee,
chocolate, or chick flicks,
or any other guilty pleasure
she might indulge in.
 
Now, notice I'm keeping the topic
relatively flexible and open-ended
to allow for maximum customization
for the actual situation, as opposed
to memorizing endless details and
endless pick up lines.
 
It's easier this way, and it's more
effective, and it encourages you
to think on your feet and be more
spontaneous and real.
 
And yet, there is another point to
the opener- what it does is it allows
you the chance to RELAX about the
opener, and to instead FOCUS on
HER, and I mean focusing on anything
about her that will provide the next
phase of the conversation.
 
It allows you to put your brain to work
on observing her and listening to her,
instead of getting all nervous about
what the heck to say.

THIS is how you come up with the 
perfect way to continue the interaction
in a natural way that really fits her
and the situation instead of just
using some rehearsed line.

Now, getting into all the details regarding that
NEXT phase is a whole other topic, and this
is a newsletter, not a book, and also it's the
reason I offer consultations and bootcamps
which allow me to teach you it all in detail-
and to customize it all for your needs, 
and in bootcamps to also demonstrate it all-
and to observe you as you approach,
kind of like how a driving instructor is
in the car with you and observing and
helping you out when required. 
 
Now, after a while, you won't even
need to memorize ANY theme or topic,
if you follow my method of learning,
which is focused on weaning you off
any training wheels and getting you
as independent and powerful and
flexible as possible for any situation.
 
But my point is, the purpose of the opener
is not necessarily to OVERWHELM HER
WITH YOUR AWESOMENESS - although
you MIGHT sometimes do this as well
if you are really in the zone and you have
something REALLY perfect to say for the
moment, and you deliver it right, etc.
 
But the main point of the opener is that
it is a RELIABLE way for YOU to buy
some time to actually get to glean some
understanding of her- whether it comes
from observing something she is saying,
doing, wearing, etc. 

It is not a time to be falling asleep thinking
that you don't have to do anything else.

It is the time to be so focused on her that
you have a MOUNTAIN of things to talk
about based on those observations. 

So the opener is not just a random thing,
it has purposes, and it is there to help you
get to the NEXT stage, although like I said
pick up does not follow the exact same
order of sequencing in every interaction,
and sometimes more than one thing
is happening at once- for example,
attraction and connection can be
happening at the same time.
 
But again, the purpose of this newsletter
is just to give more understanding of the 
opener.
 
Also, I want to make it clear that if you
have no coach, if you can't take my bootcamp,
if you can't take my consultations, if you can't
get my programs, it is TOTALLY FINE to approach,
open with WHATEVER you can possibly think of, 
try your best to keep the conversation going, 
and if it collapses, SO BE IT, you will 
GROW MASSIVELY FROM THIS.
 
As you keep up this style, it will eventually lead 
to you lasting LONGER in the conversation, and
making the interaction more meaningful and
compelling. 
 
This is because forcing yourself NOT TO EJECT
for as long as you can forces your MIND to
grow in skill. 

The thing is, learning from me will save you
PRECIOUS time. 

I believe TIME is far, FAR more precious than money.

In bootcamp, I share a PLETHORA of crucial
insights customized to your particular needs, that
will shave off MONTHS and often YEARS from your
learning time- things that you would have to see
the hard way over and over and over again to
notice the patterns- but that I point out to you
and save you from, saving you from wasting time, and 
saving you from wasting emotions, IMMEDIATELY. 

I'm a careful judge of when to help, and exactly
how much to help, ESPECIALLY REGARDING THE
ACTUAL WORDS TO SAY.
 
When it comes to memorized material to say to
a woman, I always coach my guys with just the 
MINIMUM of help- this is very similar to working
out with a partner who is "spotting" you at the gym, 
so if you are lifting the weight, the partner is not 
supposed to LIFT THE WEIGHT FOR YOU, he gives
you just the MINIMUM you need, and THAT is the 
best training partner.

I want you to get the girl, as they say.
And I want you to do it with as little help from me
as possible, so that you grow in skill as fast as
possible.

Now, there are some exceptions for particular situations,
but in general, if the spotter is getting more of a workout
than the guy lifting the weight, something is wrong.

And as your COACH and not just your training partner,
I know what is going to work best for you in terms
of what skills you need the most.

It's not about me spitting out every fact on
pickup to you, and it's not about helping you
too much.  It's about giving you what
is best for your development.

It's similar to bodybuilding- a guy who easily puts on
size but not definition, should focus on definition 
more, and a guy who is easily defined but doesn't
have much size should work on putting on some size.
 
I love it when my students grow in skill as
fast as possible, so that's why I am adamant
about not babying them- and about making sure
they put their focus on the areas that are going
to most help them attract the women they want.
 
So if you are ready for the ultimate training,
then BOOTCAMP is for you.
 
It's at:
 
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/bootcamp-sign-up.html
 
P.S. If you are in Toronto and interested in a 2-hour
free seminar, where I will be teaching some of my latest
insights on attraction and women, just send me an email 
letting me know.
 
Till next time,
 
Michael Marks