When it comes to success in approaching women
who are total strangers, i.e. when it comes to "picking
up women" and attracting women who are total strangers,
there is ONE thing I need to make ABSOLUTELY CLEAR:
DON’T WORRY ABOUT COMING ACROSS AS PSYCHO
WHEN APPROACHING RANDOM GORGEOUS WOMEN.
I have a strong feeling that it is THIS fear, the fear of
seeming “weird” or possibly even seeming like a PSYCHO,
that STOPS most men from approaching a woman somewhere
who is a total stranger, whether it’s on public transportation,
or on the sidewalk, or in a mall, or in a café, or just
about ANYWHERE else.
And I desperately want anyone reading this to
know that I truly understand this fear, for it used
to be the number one thing that screwed me up
when it came to approaching random but gorgeous
women in public.
GOOD GUYS GET BRAINWASHED TO BE
"ANTI-SEPTIC" AND "NON-SEXUAL" WHEN
APPROACHING WOMEN.
One of the many reasons that it was so hard for me
to approach women the right way was because I had
been brainwashed not only by popular culture and
the general feminism and all the daytime talk shows
like Oprah that made it seem that all men were rapists,
women abusers, molesters, etc, etc, but I ALSO was
super-brainwashed by ANOTHER force:
This force was the effect of certain political
science courses I had taken in university, where
according to certain feminist professors, just
about EVERYthing in our society was ALL
aimed at subjugating women, including even
the very ACT of sex itself, was somehow
“anti-women” because somehow the woman
was made “passive” in this act, while the
man was the “active one” and the “aggressor”
in this act!
So, at the time, even though I was SURROUNDED
by gorgeous young women EVERYWHERE, I
was also kind of NEUTRALIZED by all this insane
brainwashing.
I became SUPER CONCERNED with making sure
that any approach I made with women was super
politically correct, I made sure NOT to escalate
unless at least one TRILLION green lights were
present, which means that basically unless the
WOMAN was being aggressive about wanting
to push things, I would NEVER escalate.
And in general, women don't START aggressively.
So unless a guy really is a rock star or famous
celebrity or athlete, if he waits for some woman
to just come up to him and aggressively pursue
him, he is going to have very few options.
It happens, but just not often. It happens sometimes
when a woman just really likes a guy for some reason
even she might not be aware of, without even knowing him.
You DON'T want to rely on this, you want to be ACTIVE about
attracting women and have access to the pool of MILLIONS
of attractive women out there.
THIS is a big problem that GOOD GUYS have.
Good guys are so concerned with RESPECTING
women, with not hurting women, that they end
up being SO CAREFUL to the point that they
convey NO NAUGHTINESS, NO SEXUAL VIBE,
no “ROUGH AND TUMBLE”, no NOTHING!
And yet, if you, as a good guy, CONVEY the
sexual vibe, convey the masculinity, and you
convey the playfulness, then a woman will
be ECSTATIC about you, as you will have
THE MAGIC COMBO of being a sexy
fun naughty guy who ALSO has the vibes
of warmth and caring as well.
It took me YEARS to realize that just about every
attractive girl on campus did NOT want any man
to actually BELIEVE in the “all men are rapists”
stuff, and did NOT want any man to approach them
in the politically correct way where basically
NOTHING happens unless the WOMAN does all
the escalating, which goes against just about
EVERYTHING that is actually hard-wired into
female sexuality and female fantasy.
The TRUTH about female fantasy is that they
actually want men to behave like men!
So my point is this: The next time you see a woman
ANYWHERE that you would like to approach,
if the thing stopping you from taking action is
that you think it is somehow WEIRD for men
to approach women who are strangers, then
DEFINITELY go approach her anyway.
It is NOT weird.
Women WANT men to approach them, and the
thing that screws up most approaches that men
do on women has NOTHING to do with coming
across as a PSYCHO for making the approach.
Often, in fact, the thing that screws men up is
coming across as so CAUTIOUS that there is
no ZEST, no FUN, no LIFE to the interaction.
Instead, throw caution to the wind and have
some FUN with the interaction. Infuse the
interaction with some sexuality, some spice,
some warmth, some excitement.
Let me give you an example of something
that I learned from a cool friend of mine
named Barry Kirkey, who himself adapted
it from a game by Howard Stern.
Now, the following game is slightly more adapted
for a party environment, but you can use it anywhere
by toning it down a bit.
So let’s say I’m walking into a lounge on a Saturday
night, and I see TONS of gorgeous women, all of
whom are total strangers to me.
I might walk up to a woman I like, and tell her
“Hey, have you ever played the game F**K,
MARRY, KILL?”
YES.
That is the point, the point is to NOT come across
as a boring, anti-septic, non-sexual person.
She will most likely ask:
“What is that???
I don’t know if that game is for me.”
Trust me, this game is WAY more for her
and she KNOWS it, this is just her way of
showing she is not a tramp.
So I (or you, if you are playing the game with her)
explain to her:
“What happens is you point to a woman, and I
tell you whether I would want to F**K her,
marry her, or kill her, and then, you point
out two more women where again I tell you
what I would do, at which point we then switch
the game up, and **I** point to three guys and
you tell me if you’d rather F**k them, marry them,
or kill them.”
Now, this game is a GAME.
It’s not meant to be REAL.
But it can have some pretty DEEP impact
and do a lot of powerful things if you
play it right.
So, for example, if she points to a woman,
and I say IMMEDIATELY, “Oh her??? KILL, for sure.”
Now, you DON’T say this loud to offend anyone,
the point is that now the woman you are with will
probably say, “Why??? Why would you kill her so fast??”
And HERE is where it is FUNNY, and you show
that you have HIGH STANDARDS:
So I might reply that the reason is because I
can’t STAND her dress, or her purse, or her
choice of drink, or ANYTHING super trivial
that is really NOT a real reason for wanting
to kill ANYONE.
The point here is to show that of course this has
NOTHING to do with violence, but to show through
HUMOR that you have INSANELY HIGH STANDARDS,
WHICH IS FUNNY yet also shows CONFIDENCE.
In fact, the more trivial the reason for choosing “kill her”
the more this works.
On the other hand, if I genuinely see something
attractive about the PERSONALITY of one of the
three women she points out, then I might very well
say I would MARRY that woman, and when the
woman I’m playing the game with asks “why”,
(which she likely would ask, and if she doesn’t
ask, you can always volunteer the reason why
anyway) I (or you, if you are playing the game)
would EXPLAIN, that it’s because
you can see that the particular woman was
doing something you liked, for example:
-She was dressed tastefully not slutty.
-She was in middle of giving a compliment to her friend.
-She wasn’t rudely shoving through the crowd but instead was politely moving through.
-Etc., etc., etc.
You could even LATER use this "marry" topic
as a way to sprinkle in a little more info
on the GOOD QUALITIES you seek in a woman,
all without getting TOO serious in the
conversation, as you can then playfully
go back to the more naughty elements of
the conversation, and then finally
just focus on chilling out together
without chatting much at all, which
is the final level before getting
all-out physical together.
The reasons you choose for your decisions in this game
are what create the humor and also what convey information
about YOUR cool character.
Then, you flip the game, and YOU point out three guys,
and you can always learn more about her from HER
reasons for her decisions on whether to f, marry, or kill
the guy, PLUS you can tease her on her answers.
This gives her a chance to express her OWN sexuality
and her own preferences for what is important to her
in relationships as well, you are getting a woman to
lower her guard and be EXTREMELY revealing
sexually with you in terms of what turns her on,
and if you ask the right questions and lead her
properly, you are also learning what makes her feel
loved as well, all of which is PURE GOLD that
you can use to attract her, seduce her, and make
her crazy in love with you.
And you can MODIFY this game so you can play
it anywhere, by changing the “f**k” to “sleep with”,
and you can change the “kill” to “punch” or “slap”,
etc ,etc. And you can CERTAINLY play this game
after breaking the ice with something a little more
neutral like a comment on the magazine she is
reading or something else she is doing or something
else that is going on in the environment.
But overall, compare playing THIS GAME with
a woman you just met, with the TYPICAL approach
that a guy will do, if he even approaches her at all,
with the all-too-common, “So, you come here often?”
How much CHARACTER and personality does
that reveal, by just asking a woman “So, come
here often?”
It reveals NOTHING, plus it’s BORING.
The fact of the matter is, men and women ARE
sexual. We DO have passions, we DO want to
laugh, we DO want to have fun, we also have
things we can’t STAND, and it FEELS good
to be able to CONNECT with the opposite
sex in a way that is IMMEDIATELY
relevant! It feels good not only for YOU,
but it feels good also for HER!
For once, she can talk about sexual things,
she can talk about passionate things, she
can LAUGH, she can tell you the things
about a guy she can’t STAND, she can
do all this within MOMENTS with YOU,
a total stranger, because you have MADE
IT EASY for her to do so.
Plus, by doing all this, you IMMEDIATELY
convey that you are a man who UNDERSTANDS
women, who understands the whole sexual
dynamic, and that you are a guy who is so
comfortable with all this that clearly you
must have an abundance of choice of
women in your life.
And that in itself is attractive as well, since
it implies you are already “chosen” by
women; it gives you the all powerful
“social proof”.
On the OTHER HAND, if you are so worried
about not coming across as a psycho, you will
NEVER do any of this!! You might not even make
any APPROACH to any woman whatsoever!
Trust me, just because most men do not do the
random approaches, does NOT mean that it
doesn’t work.
Let me PROVE it to you:
If a total STRANGER came up to you on the
street, with a huge CHUNK of PURE GOLD,
and told you he is GIVING it to you, and then
he gave it to you, and then he left, would you
somehow THROW OUT that gold????????
Would you say to yourself, “This isn’t TYPICAL,
this MUST be fake gold, so I am going to
throw it OUT”????????????????????????????
You would NOT do that.
You MIGHT be a bit skeptical, you might even
be suspicious, but you would WANT the gold
in case it IS gold, right?
It’s the EXACT SAME THING with approaching
women, but even EASIER because it’s not so
out of the ordinary as most guys think.
The truth is, especially with attractive women,
over the course of their lives they HAVE
been approached many times, and their
attractive FRIENDS have been approached
many times, and between them and their
friends, they KNOW of several success stories
where the men and women ended up not only
hooking up, but often having great relationships
as well.
These women just don’t go AROUND telling
everyone that the men they met were total
strangers, but all their BEST friends know!
This is yet again another example of how some
guys are “inside” the circle of knowledge of
what REALLY goes on, and other guys are on
the “outside” and have no clue. I used to be
on the outside, and it SUCKED.
And once you’re in, you realize how crazy it
is to be living on the outside in ignorance.
However, just like the GOLD example, there
needs to be a certain amount of TRUST built
up in the interaction to OVERCOME the
perfectly normal CAUTIOUSNESS that
most women have regarding meeting men
who are total strangers.
THIS is a huge part of the ART of learning
how to successfully approach women, it’s
not just the act of approaching them, but also
the art of building up a connection, a sense
of trust as well.
But this is NOT that hard to learn, (stay tuned
to the end of this newsletter for more on how
to learn how to do this as well as learn the
ENTIRE "nitty gritty" of pick-up) and it CERTAINLY
is not a reason to let MILLIONS of gorgeous women
just slip through your fingers!
A woman having a bit of CAUTION is very
different from a woman not being OPEN to
the idea.
In fact, meeting the seductive mysterious stranger
is one of the BIGGEST FANTASIES that women
have.
Do the approach right, and you are catering
to her biggest desire, and she is now rooting
for you and will do everything in HER power
to help you SUCCEED in picking her up!
For example, if she is around friends, she will
ask her friends for some privacy, or even
find a reason for you and her to move away
from her friends for more privacy.
So don’t let the fear of coming across as a
psycho stop you from making the approach,
and don’t let it stop you from making your
approach have a fun, sexual, intriguing
VIBE to it!
By incorporating some sexual vibe to your
conversation, and by doing it playfully
as described in the example above, you are
allowing her to bridge into becoming sexual
with you in a very SMOOTH WAY.
It allows you to get closer to her without her
wondering what is going on. She will KNOW
what is going on, she will KNOW the dynamic
is SEXUAL.
It allows you to do things like graze your leg
against hers lightly if she is sitting across
from you in the next bar stool, it allows
you to touch her hair and compliment her
on how soft it is, without seeming creepy,
because you have already got her laughing
and having a good time and not feeling
like she needs to pretend that she is not
a sexual person with you.
Plus, another advantage of that game I
explained is that you can WALK AROUND
the location as you play and as you look
for people, and as you walk around, you
can ALSO find a great place for BOTH of
you to sit to then CONTINUE the chat
and continue to escalate the interaction
in a sexual way.
And that is just one fantastic example of a great
strategy applying the concept of being more sexual,
more playful, and leading the way in the pick-up.
So what you have just read, as you can tell,
comes from REAL WORLD experience.
This isn’t stuff I dreamed up that just sounds nice.
It’s what works to get men and women together
EFFECTIVELY, even if they were total strangers
when they met.
This is the true NITTY GRITTY of “pick–up”.
To learn the FULL picture on the NITTY GRITTY
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***ABOUT THE LIVE-BOOTCAMPS***
Live bootcamps are currently booked through
January 2013, but at this moment there is still
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Till next time,
Michael Marks
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