fool you, as this concept goes right to the
CORE of one of the MOST powerful forces in
ALL of human nature and in ALL of sexual
attraction.
I’m talking about JEALOUSY:
Everyone knows that one of the quickest ways
to make someone interested who wasn’t showing
interest before is to make them JEALOUS.
How many times have you noticed that a woman
who was ignoring you before suddenly took a great
interest in you when she saw that ANOTHER woman
was interested in you?
Or how many times have you not been interested
in a woman, but suddenly felt a pang of loss of
potential when some OTHER guy showed interest
in her?
The thing is, I’m NOT a fan at ALL of using
jealousy as a method of attracting a woman
once you are ALREADY in a relationship with
her, because I feel it is a very NEGATIVE
way to go about things, and it also can very
easily become a destructive tool that backfires.
What I REALLY want to focus on here is
how to prevent one’s SELF from being
overwhelmed by jealousy and how to
CONQUER jealousy before it gets out
of control.
I learned all this because I myself used to be the
absolute WORST SLAVE to this destructive emotion
when it came to women. I would get jealous
EXTREMELY easily and I would also do all the
WRONG things as a result of feeling jealous.
I would feel extremely needy and then do all the
NEEDY type behaviors in order to desperately
try to win back a woman or to try to win her
attraction in the first place.
If screwing up with women was a sport, I
would have been the ALL-TIME CHAMPION.
I drove myself to the edge of insanity
with frustration.
The BIGGEST lesson I learned is that jealousy
is actually NOT what most of us think it is.
We think that if we are so super-jealous when it
comes to some woman, that it must mean that
we are super crazy in love or in lust with her.
As if we have such intense desire for a woman, that
we get “jealous” by something like some dude talking
to her, etc.
Jealousy is also NOT even so much the fear that she
likes someone else MORE than ourselves.
What REALLY makes jealousy BURN is NOT
our desire for some woman, but RATHER is
how we FOOLISHLY give a woman the power
to ‘SOCIALLY PROOF’ some other dude!
In other words, our DESIRE for a woman, if
we are not CAREFUL, quickly starts to
GEL with our own SELF-CONCEPT.
We start to see OUR OWN VALUE through HER
behavior toward us versus other guys.
So, the fact she is sleeping with us, for example,
makes us FEEL higher self-esteem.
It’s not JUST the physical act of having hot
times with a woman. It’s the fact that this
HOTTIE is with US and how it makes us
FEEL.
As I have said MANY times:
VALIDATION is greater than sex.
Due to instinct, and to world-wide mass ignorance
on this topic, it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to separate
sexual attraction from self-validation.
The two entities are INEXTRICABLY bound
for all of eternity
And lo and behold, this is not just true for
women, but also for men.
But it doesn’t HAVE to be this way, it just
IS because we ALLOW it.
It’s EASY to allow it.
That’s the almost “auto-pilot” thing to do.
So, what is happening is that because we VALUE
a certain woman SO MUCH, we are subconsciously
giving her the POWER to "SOCIALLY PROOF"
some OTHER dude.
"Social proof" is a term I picked up from studying
attraction, it is a term used in psychology normally
referring to how the human mind is influenced
by the behavior of others.
So for example, if a lot of people are doing something,
or if someone we really LIKE or RESPECT is
doing something, then the assumption is that
it must be the right thing to do.
The thing is, that even though our emotions, or
FIRST INSTINCTS are hardwired to feel it is
is the RIGHT thing, it might in reality be the
WRONG thing.
So, to be SPECIFIC, when it comes to jealousy,
by "social proof", I mean the fact that her possible
INTEREST in some guy is able to “prove” to us
the DESIRABILITY of some other dude.
Since SHE has super high value in our mind, she
ALSO has the potential power, if we let her, to
"prove" that some OTHER dude is super valuable.
And here’s the PROOF that this is the case:
NOT even REMOTELY as cool as you, as
desirable as you, then even if she had wild
MONKEY sex with him, you would not
really feel JEALOUSY.
You might feel shocked, you might feel she is
crazy, you might feel you can’t ever trust her
again, you might feel the relationship is OVER,
but you wouldn’t feel JEALOUSY.
It’s ALLLLL about the VALUE you think that
other guy HAS.
And that GUY is getting a VALUE boost in your
mind, because of the very fact YOU have put
so much WEIGHT on valuing what SHE feels
when it comes to these things.
Because of your desire for her, she suddenly has
the power in your mind to "socially proof" other guys.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
You can be crazy about a woman, and yet STILL
not be prone to unwarranted jealousy.
I say unwarranted, because it’s not realistic to say
that there is NO SITUATION on earth where you
can’t be made to feel jealous. But what I’m talking
about is when jealousy becomes a big PROBLEM,
when the emotion is something you feel a lot and
not for very solid reasons.
Jealousy is such a destructive emotion, it can make
the smartest guy become a total idiot when it comes
to attracting the woman he wants or wants to keep.
It doesn’t even matter if a guy is Hollywood celebrity
with TONS of women falling all over him, even these
celebrities ALSO have to deal with this problem, you
see it on the news all the time.
Always remember, that jealousy is ultimately not
about how you feel regarding a woman, but
rather about how you feel about YOURSELF,
and that you must NEVER allow ANY woman,
no matter HOW crazy you are for her, to EVER
get the power to control how YOU feel about
YOURSELF.
You have to KICK YOURSELF sometimes, but
it's WORTH it in order to REMIND yourself that
jealousy is not the proof of how much you love
some woman, but rather is the proof of how
much you doubt your OWN worth.
This is a lesson that took me MANY years to
learn, jealousy used to only make me WANT
a woman MORE. I interpreted my feelings
of jealousy as a sign of how AWESOME
some woman must be, so I would do the
CRAZIEST, most insane, needy, obsessive,
endless and supplicating behaviors in my
efforts to WIN her over.
Of course, all this would just DRIVE women
away, and that would just make me even
more sure that these women must have
been ‘special’ since I mistook scarcity for
a sign of VALUE.
So I did ALL the wrong things, ALL out of
simply feeling the wrong EMOTION, an
emotion called jealousy.
Meanwhile, if you go in the OPPOSITE
direction, if you take on the behaviors and
actions of a man who feels INFINITE value,
then you will do all the RIGHT things that
attract a woman...
AND...ironically enough, will also often
make HER jealous even though that is not
your goal, and hopefully she will soon learn
to not feel that destructive emotion and you
two can just live in mutual attraction rather
than soap-opera style drama.
So, for example, rather than trying to keep
a woman on a tight leash out of the fear of
losing her to someone else, you encourage
her to live her own life. Rather than try to
keep her away from every guy, you give
her every chance to EARN your trust.
And of course, if she does NOT show the
maturity to be worthy of your trust, you
dump her, you DON’T become jealous,
you don’t try to “win her” with more
effort! The irony again, is that as you
show ZERO jealousy, what happens SO
OFTEN is these women come RUNNING
back to you before you can even blink.
However, I suggest not giving women a
second chance when it comes to TRUST
issues, and just move on to a GREAT
girl who is insanely in love with you,
and who WILL be as a result of all
the things you are, including being
a man who does NOT get jealous.
What you have just read is VITAL information
for both immediate AND long term success
with women. And yet it is a TINY fraction
of the VOLUMES of absolute GOLD you
will find in my Attraction Mastery Program.
This program is REQUIRED LEARNING for
EVERY MAN who cares about massive
and permanent success with women.
It’s at:
The Attraction Mastery Program
To find out about ALL my programs, go here:
The "Get A Great Girl" Program Catalog
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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