Creating a connection with a woman is
the secret to attracting her, because the
emotional impact of this is MASSIVE,
and when emotions are burning strong,
OTHER EMOTIONS LIKE ATTRACTION
COME FLOODING IN LIKE AN OCEAN.
Emotions work in tandem with other emotions,
that's why a great movie gets you feeling
MANY things, not just action but also
drama, romance, mystery, suspense,
and several other compelling emotions.
Also, ever notice how stores play music?
They do this because it works, it gets
people EMOTIONAL even if they
aren't thinking about it.
So let's get to the power of CONNECTING
to a woman, which is the greatest emotional
impact you can create.
Have you ever realized something
after YEARS of not actually
UNDERSTANDING that thing?
It might have been something MAJOR,
like realizing that actually someone
had done something MASSIVELY good for you
but that you never realized HOW massive
until a certain moment years later?
Or even something SMALL like realizing
a certain line of a song you really liked
that you had the words wrong initially.
There's a feeling of OH MAN, THAT WAS IT!
NOWWWWWWWWWWW I GET IT!!!!
Now, when it comes to human relationships,
and explaining something that goes against
another person's viewpoints, guess what?
MOST PEOPLE ARE TOTALLY DISTORTING
WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS SAYING
OR EXPLAINING.
I'm talking about when it comes to
explaning something the other
person doesn't agree with- studies show
that communication is just plain
terrible, even when people are
trying to understand each other!
And this is because people don't
see how their own biases are
BLOCKING their own understanding
and actually preventing them from
actually allowing the other person's
words to truly enter their own
CONSCIOUS mind!
That's right- people will instinctively
actually BLOCK OUT what they disagree
with and often even NOT REMEMBER
the parts of what the other person SAID
if they disagreed with it!
They will actually reinterpret what was
originally said by the other, and they will
do this reinterpretation in a way that
only fits THEIR OWN BIAS, to the
point that the distortion could be 100%
the OPPOSITE of what the original
message was.
And yet, if they really DID take the
effort to understand each other, they
almost ALWAYS end up finding out
that they actually AGREE on about
99% of what they thought they were
totally at ODDS about!!!
You might already be way ahead of me
and be seeing the next point:
Imagine how much WORSE this problem
becomes when it comes to men and women
who are total STRANGERS interacting with
each other!!!
And yet, the feeling of being understood
by someone, and of them understanding you,
is MASSIVELY REWARDING, it's really the
key to a quality of life- the quality of
your life is the quality of your relationships.
I'm not talking about understanding the
trivial things, but understanding the
BURNING THOUGHTS that are in her mind.
And I promise you, she HAS them, every
human has SOMETHING or even A FEW
MAJOR THINGS that are DRIVING
their emotions and thoughts, and
it also drives us NUTS that
no one REALLY understands what
we're experiencing or thinking
or feeling.
Well, imagine if YOU could show a woman
that YOU understood HER, completely.
You would be standing out from EVERY GUY
SHE HAS EVER KNOWN, on a very powerful
level that connects to the core of her EMOTIONS.
This has nothing to do with PRETENDING
to understand her, it's with actually
UNDERSTANDING for real.
If you see a woman somewhere who you
think is "just too beautiful" for you
to approach, I want you to consider
the following FACT:
Most people fail to truly CONNECT
to other people, and I'm not even
talking about with strangers!
Most people fail to even truly connect
with a lot of the people they already
KNOW!
And what I mean by 'connect' is simply
the ability to truly make another person
feel you understand them, and also to
allow them to understand you.
However, it's even more important in your
initial conversation with a woman to make
HER feel that YOU understand HER.
Now, you might think that it's impossible
to get this level of understanding in a
casual chat, but the reality is that it's
not so much a matter of you having to
"go deep and profound and serious" as it
is a matter of learning to remove your
own BIAS.
As humans, we naturally form biases and
perceptions of things that come from our
OWN perspective but are not neccessarily
the only way of looking at things or
even true sometimes at all!
So let's say for example that a woman
you're chatting to tells you something
about her hobbies, or a trip she went
on, or an experience she had- if it's
something that you would NOT NORMALLY
BE INTERESTED IN, or something that
you don't enjoy, or even something
that you don't agree with, don't
pretend that you DO like it or that
you DO understand it, but GENUINELY
ASK HER ABOUT IT so that you CAN
understand it.
And here's what is EVEN MORE IMPORTANT:
Make sure your question in ITSELF
doesn't show massive bias- so for
example lets say she plays an instrument
that you've never heard of, and she
has been playing it for sixteen years,
and it's not something that is particularly
TRENDY like playing the guitar, the
piano, or anything like that.
You might think to yourself "Why would
someone want to devote so many years to
THAT instrument?????"
Now, rather than asking her that question,
you might want to INSTEAD realize that
OBVIOUSLY there is something she CHERISHES
about it, so make sure your vocal TONALITY
CONVEYS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND SHE IS NOT
CRAZY OR WIERD OR SOMEHOW LESS NORMAL.
A lot of guys might think they are
doing a great thing by asking right
away "What made you choose THAT?"
But that kind of question in that
tonality already implies a lack
of understanding.
It's just one example, but it could
be her views on relationships, on
sexuality, on ANYTHING- it could
be her views on what is THE MOST
EXCITING THING IN LIFE or the
WORST thing in life-watch your
own internal bias and notice how
your emotions might be affecting
your own responses.
The reality is that when most guys
try chatting up a woman who is a complete
stranger they end up creating the feeling
in her mind that this guy doesn't "get"
her, and yet he COULD have if he had
learned the art of effective conversation.
It's tough enough to even communicate
properly with another DUDE, never
mind to do it properly with a woman
who will not only have her own individual
perspectives that are different from
anyone elses, but also different from
a man's based on her female experience.
In my book, Get A Great Girl, I go into
full detail on how to SKYROCKET your
communication with a woman so that
you achieve a real connection.
And what's really an EYE OPENER is that
the reason most women put guys into the
"friend" zone is because she fails to
really CONNECT to the guy. Guys who
get put into the "friend" zone sometimes
think this is because she feels something
for him but not enough ATTRACTION.
Well, when it comes to women,
attraction is far more complex
than with men, and CONNECTION
is the missing link that takes
guys from the friendship zone
to the INTIMATE zone.
Think about it- a lot of unlikely
couples on the surface actually
made a lot of SENSE when you
get down to it:
Remember when Angelina Jolie was
with Billy Bob Thornton?
They may have seemed like an unlikely
couple on the surface, but in reality
they were connected on MANY levels
including their eccentric and
almost gothic ways.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?
Seems unlikely on the surface,
but in reality Ashton was
BOMBARDED for years by immature
teenage girls from his fandom from
"That 70's Show" so the last thing
he needed was an immature girl-
so he is attracted to Demi Moore
who probably was a breath of fresh
air with no drama and someone who
also was a bit more an intellectual
challenge, and of course she was
attractive as well.
And for her, she had been with Bruce
Willis and Bruce was going with
younger women, and I'm sure Ashton
validated her sense of self.
Now, what's AMAZING is that if you
can UNDERSTAND and get to the CORE
of what's going on with a woman
internally, you then know WHAT
EXACTLY TO DO TO GET HER TO
RESPOND MASSIVELY TO YOU.
And she will LOVE you for this, like
a woman on a MISSION, and of course
she too will be fueled to understand
YOU and give you what you want,
- and yet all you have to learn to do this
is the skill and art of effective communication
with women.
This will allow you to learn everything
you need to know about her to acheive
understanding and attraction.
So rather than trying to act like
some 'player', you instead
ENCOURAGE HER TO TALK EVEN MORE,
and by also not allowing your own
biases to distort your perceptions
and your communication, you keep
getting closer and closer-
this is the true definition
of 'intimacy' that 99% of
men never understand.
Every bit of convo you have with
her will get you further into her
explaining herself to you, and of
course everyone would rather talk
about themselves than anything else,
so you also come across as NOT arrogant
from all this, and yet she is giving
you the RECIPE for attracting
her the more she talks!
And if you'd like to learn the FULL
picture on attracting a woman of quality,
download my book NOW at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
I also have a very special interview coming
up for my next Actions For Attraction CD,
(it's still a secret and it's gonna ROCK)
so if you haven't already subscribed,
do that immediately at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/actions.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S. And for access to the FIRST YEAR
of Actions For Attraction, go to:
http://getagreatgirl.com/ActionsForAttraction.html
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