Get ready for some KICK-ASS advice
for attracting a true '10'-
no long intros, let’s just dig in!
First, is the exact mental FRAME you
must adopt when it comes to approaching
women:
I’m going to get into details below,
but first the actual PRINCIPLES are:
I. IT’S NEVER THE FOCUS
II. ACT IMMEDIATELY
III. CONNECT YOUR STATE TO HER
I. IT’S NEVER THE FOCUS
The best frame to adopt when it comes to
approaching women who are total strangers,
is that it’s never the MAIN focus of the
activity.
It could be PART of your activity, i.e. going
to a party, going shopping, getting groceries,
going to the post office, bank, on your way
to work, etc.
But it shouldn’t be the MAIN focus.
When it's the MAIN focus, you start to
get too MUCH INTO YOUR OWN MIND,
you get too analytical, and this shuts down
your EXPRESSIVE fun mode.
In fact, in my bootcamps, I make sure
to consistently keep guys in EXPRESSIVE
mode, like TALKING, rather than just
"taking IN and being INTERNAL mode."
There is a time in the conversation for
becoming more into listening mode,
absolutely, but for STARTING THINGS
OFF you have to be GIVING OFF
ENERGY in FUN MODE, in EXPRESSIVE
MODE, also known as EXTROVERT
MODE.
If you're more of an introvert like myself,
this was pretty tough at first, until I realized
that actually being in extrovert mode is
FUN, and it's only tough because we
aren't FAMILIAR with it.
The reality is that even if you are a massive
introvert, you can get into extrovert mode-
some of the GREATEST performers of
all time that seem like total extroverts
are in fact massive introverts- because
they take all that internal energy that
is bottled up and have learned to
channel it outward into something
amazing.
When you're reading a book, you're in
INTERNAL mode, you're sitting there
TAKING THINGS IN, but not really
giving things OUT.
When you approach a woman, you have
to NOT be in INTERNAL MODE, but
rather you have to be in EXPRESSIVE
mode, giving outward.
So make approaching women something
that is incorporated into your regular
life, as part of your daily routine
while shopping, doing chores, etc,
so that when you see a woman,
you were not THINKING about
it too much beforehand, because
you were focused on the other
actions you were doing at the
moment until you SAW her--
and then when you see her
you should act IMMEDIATELY
so you have no time to
THINK about it -- no time
to get into your own head
and become internal.
In fact, EXPRESS whatever is
RELEVANT at that MOMENT- be
it what she's wearing that you
noticed that's funny or interesting,
or something she's doing, or something
about the SITUATION or environment.
And EXPRESS it immediately, don't
THINK and analyze -- or it will ruin
the expressive STATE of mind that
automatically makes you do so
many things RIGHT in an interaction
with a woman.
The expressive state improves your
delivery of what you say, it even
helps you come up of better things
to say in the MOMENT without
thinking- it's like an INSTINCT
that guides you in the blink of
an eye, before you even have
time to THINK about it.
In my bootcamps, I KEEP things in
EXPRESSIVE mode and FEELING mode,
which makes it easy to transition into
successfully opening up emotionally
compelling and fun conversations with
women who are total strangers.
The other cool thing about being in
this state is that not only do you
get her attention in a much better
way, but state is both self-reinforcing
and CATCHY as well!
So, once you yourself enter "fun expressive state",
you actually FEED that state even more to yourself,
because emotions are addictive- feel the right
ones and get a positive addiction for life!
AND, emotional states are catchy, so you
now make her MORE fun as well, and
more likely to get into a more talkative
state with you!
Attracting women is really about you connecting
to her who you actually ARE-- but most guys
make the mistake of thinking the way to
connect this to her is through a list of traits
that you SAY to her.
The real way is to connect who you ARE is to
connect your EMOTIONAL STATES that
are IN you and EXPRESS THEM OUTWARDLY-
your AWESOME emotional states, that is.
Emotional states that are a combination of upbeat,
dominant, sexual, and fun.
When you think of a person, the reality is that
you think of the way that person makes you FEEL.
This all happens on a subconscious level.
Telling a woman a list of good traits about
yourself isn’t the first thing to do when
meeting a woman- unless of course, it
comes WITH the delivery of you being
in a state that is a combination of sexual,
upbeat, dominant, and fun.
So when you don’t make the main focus
of your activity the actual approaching of
women, but rather make it a PART of the
activity, you’re far more likely to be
OUTSIDE your head than IN it,
ESPECIALLY if you are doing something
you already enjoy or if you are just in a
great state already.
For PROOF of this, just look at the way
some women who are REALLY attractive
behave.
It’s absolutely clear that no woman who is
ATTRACTIVE needs to go to a club to
meet guys. A woman who is attractive
gets TONS of attention and if she wanted
to turn that attention into something, she
could do that easily anywhere, she doesn’t
have to go to a club to get it.
However, that doesn’t mean a woman WON’T
meet a guy at a club- but notice the mental
FOCUS- it’s a focus that actually GUYS should
adopt as well, and this doesn’t just mean at a club.
So for example, just like a woman really
IS enjoying the music at a club, she really
DOES go with her friends, she really DOES
enjoy dressing up, and she really DOES
enjoy socializing, and yes, it’s also fun
for her to meet guys, but it’s TOTALLY
not the ONLY focus.
And this makes the women even MORE
desirable, since they seem so NOT needy.
Well, even though as men, we have to do the
approaching, that doesn’t mean in any way,
shape or form that somehow just because you
approach her it has to mean that this is the focus
of your day, hour, or evening.
Here’s the first key for how to do it RIGHT:
II. ACT IMMEDIATELY
Be in the REAL MOMENT- so for example,
if you are at the bank and there is a woman in
front of you, or beside you, or at the store, or
at the club, or lounge, well in that MOMENT
that you see the opportunity, SAY something
RIGHT AWAY.
This way you aren’t THINKING too much ahead.
And you aren’t “in your head.”
By NOT allowing yourself to think about it
too much, you are AUTOMATICALLY
going to say it RIGHT,in the right delivery,
your tonality will REFLECT that you are
not obsessed with this activity of meeting
women, which will in turn make you
come across as cooler.
Even a comment that you think is not that
brilliant will be FAR better if you say it
IMMEDIATELY than if you think about
something brilliant for ten minutes and
THEN approach her.
Not only will the DELIVERY be natural
and spontaneous, but also there is actually
huge evidence that the first thing that
comes to mind is often GREAT and
better than what you would come up
with in trying to develop the perfect
pick up line for ten hours. (For more
evidence on this, just read BLINK
by Malcolm Gladwell).
III. BE IN STATE BEFORE YOU STEP OUTSIDE
Use empowering music.
Workouts release endorphins.
And of course, adjust your OWN tonality
vocally, and notice how THIS changes your
state as well, I get into more details on this
in my materials.
Do all this BEFORE you go out.
You will convey your emotional state to a woman,
that’s a fact- she will sense it through your body
language and vocal tonality and tons of subtle things
in your demeanor and expression.
So make sure you are conveying the RIGHT
combination of states.
So this whole point here had a few points:
I. DON’T MAKE THE ACT OF MEETING
WOMEN THE MAIN FOCUS
II. WHEN THE MOMENT ARRIVES, ACT
UPON IT IMMEDIATELY.
III. GET INTO A STATE THAT IS A COMBO
OF UPBEAT, DOMINANT, SEXUAL, AND
FUN.
So no more trying to “be a pick up artist”,
INSTEAD, make meeting women a PART
of your activity.
When you are too focused on the
ACTIVITY of approaching a woman, you
become SELF-CONSCIOUS of how you
are “performing.”
You start to THINK too much.
You start to get critical on yourself.
You lose the ability to be spontaneous, because
you have been THINKING about approaching
women for a while, i.e. a half hour before you
even FIND a woman you want to approach.
All that time, there has been that internal
CHATTERBOX in your head talking, telling
you all kind of self-doubts, and getting out
of the entire “rhythm” of your natural state
when you aren’t thinking.
You get too inside your own head, and now
you feel like a robot having to go through
some act and force yourself to say something, etc.
So no more of that, instead you’re going to
make it a PART of things, you’re going to
take action IMMEDIATELY upon seeing
her, and you’re not going to step outside
until you are in STATE.
IV. MAKE SURE YOU BEHAVE AS IF
YOU ALREADY ARE THE MOST
DESIRABLE GUY IN THE UNIVERSE.
By the way, these things have applications
to attracting a woman far beyond just the
initial approach, for example when you
are in STATE you see things PROPERLY.
So for example, a guy who is feeling NEEDY
will feel all obsessed with some ex-girlfriend
who didn't even treat him right, especially if
he hears she is going out with some guy.
However, a guy who is NOT feeling needy
might actually feel FLATTERED because
he thinks to himself “She is trying so hard
to get over me, poor thing I hope she finds
someone”.
Similarly, jealousy is nothing but social
proof- and what I mean by that is that
if we feel jealousy that some woman
is interested in some other guy, what
we’re really saying to ourselves is that
we think that guy has more value than
US- all because we place so much
value on the WOMAN, that whoever
she LIKES, we then think must have
SO MUCH VALUE, that's why we
wanted her to like US- so WE would
feel validated!!!
It’s not even about the GIRL anymore,
it’s about what we think of OURSELVES.
So for example, if a woman we like is going
out with GROVER from Sesame Street,
we won’t feel jealous, right? Or if she is
going out with Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
It’s all about our OWN self-concept that
affects the way we feel.
And the way we feel MASSIVELY affects the
way we BEHAVE with women, and these
behaviors can either be ATTRACTIVE
BEHAVIORS or UNATTRACTIVE ONES.
The behaviors that are consistent with a man
who feels he has MASSIVE worth, are the
behaviors that are actually ATTRACTIVE
as well.
So let’s review:
I. DON’T MAKE THE ACT OF MEETING
WOMEN THE MAIN FOCUS
II. WHEN THE MOMENT ARRIVES, ACT
UPON IT IMMEDIATELY.
III. GET INTO A STATE THAT IS A COMBO
OF UPBEAT, DOMINANT, SEXUAL, AND
FUN.
IV. MAKE SURE YOU BEHAVE AS IF
YOU ALREADY ARE THE MOST
DESIRABLE GUY IN THE UNIVERSE.
Finally, I’ve noticed that there is a lot of
confusion out there about whether women
are actually attracted to guys who are funny,
or are they just laughing at them like they
are clowns.
So, that brings us to the point of:
V. HUMOR - ICE-BREAKER & MINIMUM GAME
The reality is that if you think about
rock stars, and famous celebrities, a
lot of them aren’t particularly known
for being FUNNY. And yet it seems
they get tons of women.
Some people think this is proof that
being funny is NOT important, and
in fact, that it can make you seem like
a clown.
Some people also think that being
funny makes you reveal too much
about yourself, leaving no mystery
behind for her to wonder about and
be intrigued by.
Well, anyone who says that being funny
is harmful or who says it’s not helpful,
is simply OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE REAL
WORLD OF APPROACHING WOMEN
WHO ARE TOTAL STRANGERS.
The truth is that being FUNNY in and of
ITSELF is often not a SEXUAL thing,
although it CAN be, (more on that later),
but what it IS, that can be VERY important
is this:
When you FIRST MEET A WOMAN
who is a total stranger, and it’s on the street,
or a coffee shop, or a bus or train, there is a
bit TOO MUCH mystery going on!
She has NO CLUE of whether you are a psycho,
whether you are some winner or loser, or
anything about you.
This is especially relevant when you
meet a woman in a place that is not
a normal place for socializing.
So at this STARTING point, you need
to take her EMOTIONS off of FEAR
and off of CAUTION and into the
receptive zone where she is disarmed
and in a good state of mind for listening
to you.
Guess what is a GREAT tool for doing that?
BEING FUNNY.
See, one of the great elements of meeting
a woman who is a knockout and who is
a total stranger is getting over the obstacle
in her mind that says “I don’t talk to strangers”.
You can’t always go straight into ATTRACTION,
because she has her guard up against strangers,
especially if she is attractive.
Before you can get a woman ATTRACTED,
you need to be able to get her to lower her
GUARD so she will even be RECEPTIVE
to you at all in the first place, otherwise
you will be blocked out from her mind
before you can even start.
Now, if you are a famous rock star, or a
famous celebrity, actor, etc, you ALREADY
have taken care of the “I’m not a psycho”
factor, since in many ways you are already
ESTABLISHED in her mind with a positive
association already, so if you are a rock
star or celebrity, etc, there is no need to
have to BREAK THE ICE with her.
The ice is already broken, so to speak.
But if you are a regular guy like me, well
you have to have SKILLS developed.
So, getting her LAUGHING early on is
a GREAT way to DIMINISH the “fear
factor”.
Now, at the same time, there is an
OPTIMIMUM BALANCE.
You don’t want to be too much of a stranger,
but you ALSO don’t want to go into the
land of being a CLOWN who is just
trying to entertain her like some inferior.
This in fact, was something I sensed instinctively,
even when I was first starting out, I always hated
the idea of learning magic tricks or jokes or routines
to try to get a woman’s attention.
I just knew it was all screwed up, it even
FELT wrong, like I was being this subservient
court jester to women.
I knew this even though all around me at the
time the supposed experts on meeting
women insisted it’s all about learning “routines”
to get women laughing and in fact they said
that veering off the routines was an absolute
no-no. I was against all this stuff since day
one, and it’s clear from my very first book,
“The Dating Wizard.”
The REAL solution is to HAVE the skill of
HUMOR and give her just a TASTE of it,
enough to lower her “anti-guy” defenses.
Just enough so she can sample your awesome
personality and you can break the ice.
And then use the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM OF IT
to get the job done.
Then go right into being THE MAN, dominant,
confident, laid back, intriguing, and MYSTERIOUS.
This gets back to what I was saying before
about MINIMUM GAME is the MOST
POWERFUL GAME.
Quick Review:
I. DON’T MAKE IT THE FOCUS, JUST PART OF IT.
II. ACT UPON THE MOMENT IMMEDIATELY.
III. UPBEAT, DOMINANT, SEXUAL, FUN.
IV. MAKE SURE YOU BEHAVE AS IF
YOU ALREADY ARE THE MOST
DESIRABLE GUY IN THE UNIVERSE.
V. HUMOR - ICE-BREAKER& MINIMUM GAME
Always use the LEAST amount required,
as it makes you seem mysterious and she
gets to have to now IMAGINE all that
you have NOT told her, she now has to
IMAGINE herself about you- and her
IMAGINATION is much better than
anything that ANYONE could come
up with in reality- so this way SHE
is making herself FALL IN LOVE
WITH YOU, since SHE IS THE ONE
MAKING THE FANTASY ABOUT
YOU!
The other awesome thing about this is
that with this minimum game, you also
seem like a great guy as well, since
you’re not talking so much about yourself
and not seeming arrogant.
In fact, even when you do talk to women,
I suggest that you keep the conversation
about INTRIGUING THINGS and about
HER, yes- her talking about herself, but
not about YOURSELF.
Let HER wonder who you are and what
mysteries there are about you.
Let HER ask YOU about yourself, because
THAT’S THE ONLY TIME SHE REALLY
WANTS TO KNOW.
So there IS a place for being funny, when
done RIGHT, and in the right AMOUNT.
Also, and this is slightly more advanced,
there is a way that HUMOR can very
much be used in a way that IS attractive
even in and of itself- but most people
don’t understand how to use it this way.
The key is to use humor to convey POWER.
If you just go around trying to show off, or
you try to just say cool things about yourself,
you seem the OPPOSITE of powerful, you
seem insecure. That’s because we’ve all
seen people do this a million times before,
and it’s too easy, and we get bored and
desensitized by it.
However, it’s impossible to get “desensitized”
if the statement comes with an EMOTIONAL
IMPACT- and laughter is definitely an emotion
that adds IMPACT. Advertisers know this,
and use it to the tune of billions of dollars
a year.
So, for example, the funny yet COOL line in
the movie, “The Empire Strikes Back”:
When Princess Leia tells Han Solo before
he is about to be frozen in carbonite, she
tells him, “I love you”-
And his response to her, even in the middle
of this STRESS and tension, is…“I know”.
That’s being THE MAN!
He doesn’t get all mushy and say “I love you”
back, he says, “I know”.
This is not only FUNNY, it also shows MASSIVE
confidence, and also shows that he can handle
this crazy stressful moment of not even
knowing if he will survive the freezing.
Here's another example of this confidence, all
without being a jerk, just being charismatic.
Notice his sarcastic use of "your worship" and notice
how he doesn't get OFFENDED by her "insult" but
rather REINTERPRETS IT AS A COMPLIMENT!
That's because as I said at the top of this article,
when you're not feeling needy, you actually
see the TRUTH about things, and he actually
sees that all she is saying is just a mask
for how she actually is very much
ATTRACTED to and LOVES him.
Women CAN'T HELP BUT RESPOND to this
kind of charisma with ATTRACTION.
And what you’ve just read, even though it’s been
jam-packed with powerful advice, is just the TIP
of the ICEBERG.
To get the FULL picture on this and OTHER
crucial topics for ensuring SUCCESS when
you approach the knockout of your dreams,
I suggest you get my ADVANCED program
at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
This program is the CREAM OF THE CROP
when it comes to mastering the art of meeting
a woman anywhere, and attracting her long
term as well.
And if you haven't yet downloaded my book,
'Get A Great Girl', then do that now at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
If you are just starting out with dating,
then definitely the very FIRST thing to
do is get my Dating Wizard book at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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