Years ago, back in 2003, when just like now, I was too
busy actually doing this stuff for real rather than worrying
about the marketing craziness that was going on around
me by supposed dating gurus, author Neil Strauss then
wrote something to me on an internet dating forum a little
before the release of his bestselling book on pick-up artists,
called "The Game".
He said that he agreed with 95% of what I wrote on the
forum but that he disagreed with one thing- my statements
on how you can trigger attraction in a woman using strictly
wisdom and insights into human emotion, into women, and
into using your developed identity, so that you can come up
with fresh things to say on the SPOT to a woman.
I believe that this way, you can be ready for ANYTHING
with any woman, rather than relying too much on pre-rehearsed
lines or routines, which was the all the rage with the pick-up
artists and this memorizing routines stuff is clearly promoted
heavily in his book.
He said:
"And, fact is, of all the people I've met (and I've met
"And, fact is, of all the people I've met (and I've met
lots of guys), the ones who are the most successful
are the ones who say the EXACT same things all the
time. Why? Because they work."
Well, time has proven that in fact the TRUTH IS
QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
I honestly don't think Neil meant any harm to anyone,
he's probably a cool guy who wrote what he honestly
thought based on his experiences at the time.
The reality though is that the guys who are the best
with women, the TRUE naturals, NEVER use the
exact same thing all the time with women.
with women, the TRUE naturals, NEVER use the
exact same thing all the time with women.
IN fact, this would seem ABSURD to them.
Never mind the fact it would make them feel FAKE.
This is a big thing to realize, because you see so much
of success has to do with what you are FEELING inside.
How the heck can you be feeling charismatic, masculine,
secure, witty, when you know that you are relying on
LINES?????
How can you feel like you are THE MAN when you
REALLY feel like you are relying on memorized
routines, on what is basically an ACT???
The reality is that if you feel a certain way, it will
show through your body language and expression
and tonality anyway. So the lines will be of very
little help and in fact may be counter-productive
because they prevent you from learning how to
have a real conversation based on real social
interaction skills.
I teach guys to FISH for themselves, based on developing
the best parts of their own identities rather than memorizing
anything trivial.
This not only gives you a FRIGGEN' TOTALLY KICK-ASS
edge in terms of your feelings about your self, it also allows
you to build long term with a woman, because if you built
everything on being fake, you feel very weird about ever
revealing your true identity to a woman since you are not
sure if she would find that cool.
I promise you that the guys who are most successful
with women, not only don't NEED to use and say the
same things all the time, they wouldn't even WANT to!
It would be too boring! And the very fact they enjoy
having FUN is part of what MAKES them attractive
to women!!! Because states are catchy and being in a
great fun and relaxed state is SOMETHING THAT
WOMEN WANT TO FEEL FOR THEMSELVES
AS WELL!!!
In fact, even the pick-up artists who used to say otherwise,
well they all now agree with me. If you don't believe me, ask
them yourself. I'm not afraid of the competition, in fact I
suggest you check them out yourself and I'll see you back
here very soon. Read between the lines of their hype.
You'll also notice how many of them try to imitate me as
well, which is quite flattering. Some of these guys don't
realize that I'm already reaching their audience and
their attempts at imitation only make them lose all
credibility for ever being authorities on their own.
Then there are the guys who oversimplify the
process, who claim all you need to do
is just tell a woman you like her and that's it.
If you think saying "I like you" is enough to get a
non-drunk, and psychologically healthy woman to
want to jump into bed with you, just try it.
A woman needs to know more than the fact you
have the confidence to state your desire for her and
your intention. It's a good start, but not enough.
The belief in saying the exact same things to every woman
you meet, referred to the idea of you MEMORIZING
routines and lines to say to women, was clearly emphasized
and promoted in the book called "The Game" where these
ideas were glamorized as having insane success rates..
TONS of guys around the world started adopting this
robotic memorized approach to approaching women.
I even had a few clients in several cities where I did
bootcamps who believed in this and didn't want to take
my advice, only to have their fantasy come crashing down
on them when the girls started saying they HAD HEARD
these lines before from tons of other guys. Only then
were my clients fully convinced of the insanity of trying
to get a woman without actually having developed
your REAL self first.
Not only this, but also when a guy hears this from a girl,
when he has been "caught", his self esteem plummets,
ruining his charisma.
Plus, he also feels, even he is lucky enough to happen to
meet a girl who hasn't heard the lines before, he feels that
he is not cool, it's only his LINE that was cool so he feels
like a fake, like he is not desirable, it's only his FAKE stolen
ACT that was desirable, and this in itself ruins his vibe and
charisma and his tonality and his body language, and his
sense of humor loses all hope.
And the great thing is that there is in the END no faking it.
Sure you can fake it for a bit, and you'll get some results,
but for the GREATEST success, you must ACTUALLY
GIVE VALUE, and not just fake it.
So the key is to first get into a specific combination of
STATES, that slightly depend and vary from situation
to situation, but definitely include playfulness, upbeatnes,
sexuality, security, and other states as well.
Then on top of that it's important to ALSO know a lot of
important insights into female psychology and culture so
that you understand a bit about what's going on internally
with the woman you are chatting to.
I explain all of this in my materials and programs, but I'd
like to shed some insight into how this idea of EMOTIONAL
STATES are so important at EVERY point of the "game"
from the first moment you meet a woman till FOREVER.
There is no way that a robotic approach could possibly
handle the complexities of the way human emotions work.
Here's a fresh letter that has a situation that I can use to
help show the point:
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Michael, your eBook and Dating Spells emails are amazing!
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Michael, your eBook and Dating Spells emails are amazing!
I'm looking to buy the Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship CD Set
in the next few weeks too. You have uncovered something special
here!!
I know this email is slightly long but even a brief answer would
be much appreciated!!!
Here's the deal, I've been reading all your material over and
over and although I've still got a lot to learn, I think you would
be proud of my progress. I now no longer experience feelings
of jealousy or insecurity, or if I do, not to the extent that it
becomes visible or effects my actions.
You've helped me realize that such feelings only exist in people
who do not have enough self-worth in the first place.
I now am SURE of everything about me, and any negative
comment that comes from a girl doesn't get to me at all, and
you're right, girls experience even more attraction when they
see you're not affected by their attempt to put you down!
Now I know you're not going to like reading this, but Michael,
my question is regarding my ex. We went out for 17months,
have now been apart for 4, I've experienced many other girls,
started reading your materials, and have developed significantly
since we broke up (her reason for ending was "i no longer feel
attraction for you").
Last night we caught up and went to the movies (now normally,
i know the movies aren't the best but i asked her, as I really
wanted to see the film and was actually considering going with
or without her anyway), the movies went really well, we laughed,
and connected again, not once bringing up the relationship or
our current sex lives or anything like that.
The entire night I was confident, in control, and just enjoying
the interaction, and not once kissing up to her.
The thing is, i no longer need this girl Michael, all the neediness,
clinginess, jealousy I used to show her while we were going out
is GONE and I want to be with this girl again because of how
much I enjoy being around her.
So i went and bought a subway from next to where she works
today (she works at a butcher), and I came and visited her. I
made sure not to be needy, I really wanted that subway, it was
lunchtime, and again, I just wasn't dependent on the outcome,
I know there's plenty of good girls around, and so I was in
exactly the right state.
When i approached her, she was surprised, and asked why
i was there, and I teased her, holding up my subway while
saying she had really good food shops near her. She laughed,
and i then told her, "besides, don't pretend like me visiting
hasn't made your day", and again she smiled.
Then the other butchers (young guys) out the back, saw us
and began teasing her too about us talking and she went
immediately red, and couldn't keep the smile off her face.
My problem is... I know we can have so much fun together,
I just feel she's reluctant to catch up and give me that chance
cos of what's happened to us in the past.
Michael believe me, I wouldn't waste my time or yours,
this girl is incredibly smart, gorgeous, fun to be with, she's
the real deal, and as my friends are all of her friends too,
we're always going to be seeing each other... what is my
plan of attack??
I know how to be the man... its almost happening instinctively
now, but how do I get to catch up with my ex and just have
fun with her more and more, w/out her being cautious and
reluctant?!?
Regards,
Matthew H.
USA
Matthew H.
USA
>>>>MY RESPONSE<<<<
I hate to call this entire field a game, because the fact is,
I hate to call this entire field a game, because the fact is,
whenever you are dealing with any emotions, it's never
a game, especially in a relationship situation which you
had with this girl.
So I'm just using the word "game" since it might actually
HELP you realize that you are getting SO CAUGHT up
in this situation that you don't realize your EMOTIONS
are actually playing a GAME with you.
This entire "game" when it comes to success with
a woman is about EMOTIONS.
The reality is that you were doing DAMN WELL that first
night you reconnected with her at the movies, BECAUSE
you WERE BEING IN A GREAT STATE, "not once
bringing up the relationship or our current sex lives or
anything like that. The entire night I was confident, in control,
and just enjoying the interaction, and not once kissing up to her."
And since she already KNOWS you obviously STILL care
about her, (or why would you be back with her) you ALSO
took care of her desire to feel VALUED.
But, and here's the big BUT- you SANK BACK into
the OCEAN of TURMOILED EMOTIONS, you started
getting SWEPT UP IN THE TWISTER OF EMOTIONS
THAT ARE YOUR LOVE FOR HER CONTRASTED
WITH HOW SHE HURT YOUR EMOTIONS SO
BADLY BEFORE.
And this made you feel EXTREMELY NEEDY.
So you did the MASSIVE MISTAKE of ACTING
UPON THAT NEEDINESS.
This is NOT your fault for FEELING these emotions,
because when you have a relationship with someone,
the feelings can become so strong that they become
ANCHORED DEEP INTO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS
and so just SEEING HER again and BEING with her
again totally screwed your internal wiring.
The only thing that you DO have to take responsibility
for is not following my advice in the book about this,
about not going back to exes, no matter what unless
YOU screwed it up by being a jerk and you totally
have changed now.
But I can already see that you were not a jerk.
So why did you go back to her?
So why did you go back to her?
And you know this, as you said in your own letter, that
you knew I was not going to like that move- you're right,
I don't like it, because I CARE ABOUT YOU and
about ALL GOOD GUYS who go through HELL with
women. I wanted to spare you the pain.
So I don't say any of this with anger, I say it with
the desire to spare you one more ounce of pain.
Emotions make us feel that the emotion is more true
than any fact. So even though you know the fact is
that going back to her the next day was a bad move,
your neediness for her made you feel that it was the
RIGHT MOVE, and you rationalized it as being the
right move.
This entire game is about giving women awesome
emotions. So how can you give her awesome emotions
when just SEEING her and being with her triggers all
those ANCHORED needy feelings in you?
I want to make it clear that I am totally not into GAME
or tricks or gimmicks.
The problem is NOT that you are interested in her.
The problem is that you are behaving in a way that
stems from not feeling the value in yourself.
That's why the movie thing with her was still okay.
(Although I still think you should not have gone
back to an ex.) At the beginning, you were still
feeling all the rights states INSIDE of you, but they
were being PRESSURED like a submarine under
a billion tons of water, by the NEGATIVE
ANCHORING of your relationship history by her.
You see, there is no faking with women.
You simply end up showing who you really are by
virtue of your body language and tonality, and there is
no body language trick in the book that can solve it.
Your end goal should always be how to improve your
state, and going to a woman who ripped your state to
shreds is ultimately a self-defeating move no matter what.
Why are you doing this?
If you feel the NEED to prove it to yourself, then
you are actually proving to YOURSELF that you
are still inferior to her.
And this very action is a form of "body language"
that works against your OWN psychology and
ruins your own state and thus ruins your body
language and shows her that you are inferior.
It's OKAY and GOOD for a woman to know you
like her, as long as it's coming from a totally positive
and secure place.
BUT it's almost impossible to feel this when you
crawl back to a woman who mistreated you -
the very act of crawling back is sending a
message to YOUR brain that makes you feel
inferior and thus ruins your ability to FEEL
charismatic and worthy and thus you end up
not being able to attract that woman.
So the problem is not with showing a woman
you like her.
I mean, if showing a woman you are interested in
her ruins things, how do you explain the success of
clients at my Bootcamps who are having their arms
around and kissing girls within minutes of meeting
them?
Are these girls thinking that this is a sign of being NOT
interested in them??????????
If you REALLY felt your own value, you would
have chilled out a bit for a few days after enjoying
the movie with her. (And at this point, you WERE
still in state, which is why it was all going well.
You were still resisting all the opposite emotions
that were CRUSHING into you, including not only
the anchored emotions, but also the very fact you
were going back to her was having a slight negative
effect on your vibe and your self-concept ---
you NEED to get my CD set man to get this stuff
sorted out, it will make a MASSIVE difference)
You should have chilled out about her for a few days,
and not gone back the next day. If you felt massive
value about yourself, you would have wanted to let
her chill out and come to a decision on her own.
But since you felt so needy for her, (again, not your fault,
because you have these feelings anchored in you about
her as a result of the way the relationship ended) you felt
UNWORTHY and subconsciously felt that left to her own
devices, she would NOT WANT to be with you, so you
felt the need to PUSH it.
And the irony of course is that this is what actually
pushed her farther away.
So the way to be the MAN now, is to LET go for at least
a while and definitely to go for other girls so you can get
total emotional perspective. That will make her less
"cautious and reluctant".
And definitely get that CD Set, it will help you get the
deeper picture of what is going on here, not only on an
academic level, but on a level that actually HITS YOUR
EMOTIONS, so that you NEVER make this mistake again.
And if you are reading this right now and feeling finally
AWOKEN to CRUCIAL insights for your success with women,
I assure you that this is just the BEGINNING.
My Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program will
give you the FULL PICTURE.
This program is a quantum leap forward in the very way
attraction is thought of and mastered.
Your understanding of every emotion that is part of attraction,
from humor to intrigue, to bonding, and much more, as well as
your understanding of how to TRIGGER all these emotions
of attraction, will be REVOLUTIONIZED.
And you can now own it and have it delivered right to you.
Just go to:
And you can now own it and have it delivered right to you.
Just go to:
And if you have not yet read my revolutionary eBook,
The Dating Wizard: Secrets To Success With Women,
then do that immediately. It's the DNA of attraction, and
the foundation for understanding and applying everything
you learn in my programs.
Download this special eBook NOW at:
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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