I'm not sure if you have ever been hurt along the
way to trying to meet a fantastic woman, but if
you have, then I can share some awesome news
with you, and some really powerful tips for
getting a great woman.
Let's get right to it:
1. THE PAST DOES NOT EQUAL THE FUTURE
If a woman in the past treated you horribly, this
does not mean that all women are this way. In our
human desire to AVOID pain, we often learn the
WRONG lessons from the past.
So for example, if a woman mistreated us, then
we as men often try to get the 'upper hand' by
learning 'player' or 'pick up artist' tactics or
'control' tactics that boil down to things like
pretending you are not interested or even
being cold or cruel, or by alternating between
being 'hot' and 'cold', showing interest then
showing lack of interest, etc.
This same 'game' is often played by women who
have been hurt by men as well.
The bottom line is that these games boil down
to MANIPULATION. This is the very OPPOSITE
of being THE MAN, because "The Game' is the
product of INSECURITY and the product of
FEAR.
The key is to become a better MAN, not
a better MANIPULATOR.
All manipulative tactics ultimately results in
something called MUTUALLY ASSURED
DESTRUCTION, or MAD.
So manipulating a woman will result in the
nuclear destruction of your relationship
or attraction between each other.
So too, a woman manipulating you will result
in MAD - Mutally Assured Destruction.
It's too bad that so many men and women
are ignorant of this, but the wise men and
women who appreciate this fact are able
to APPRECIATE the power of trust and
integrity and love, and no matter how
badly they have been hurt in the past,
they have learned that the answer is
NOT to manipulate each other- for
it always leads to MAD in the end.
You will find love again, you will find
a fantasic woman, but you must take
this giant step of maturity and emotional
growth and courage.
You must become THE MAN in the
most true and deep sense.
2. THIS DOES NOT MEAN TO BE A DOORMAT
Of course, being good to a woman does not mean
that you should allow any woman to abuse you.
In fact, if you accept abuse, you have to take
responsibility for it, since no one but you allows
yourself to be abused. You have to be strong
enough to move ON from the wrong woman
so that you can find the RIGHT woman.
This leads me to my NEXT point:
3. THE POWER OF NO
The power of NO is actually the title of a book
as well. What it means is that you have to
realize that NO can often be a very POSITIVE
thing.
So, saying NO to the WRONG woman, means
the chance to say YES to the RIGHT woman.
If you say YES to the wrong woman, you are
going to be wasting your energy and focus
and this means you will be in effect saying
NO to the RIGHT woman.
So, learn to say NO to the things that are
NOT what you want.
Don't let WEAKNESS make you say YES
to the WRONG things. Saying yes to the
wrong things means you will be distracted
and not even SEE the opportunities for the
RIGHT things, the right woman, the right
life, etc.
This also includes YOUR development
as a man who is truly congruent and who
is strong, passionate about integrity, and
who is inspiring- so this means saying
NO to the WRONG types of music,
NO to the wrong types of MOVIES,
NO to the wrong types of MESSAGES.
If you bombard yourself with the message
that women are all a certain negative way,
that will filter your perception and make
you see things in a very distorted way.
So you can see how certain types of
music might not be productive.
But if you say NO to the pick up artist
messages, if you say NO to the manipulator
stuff, you are saying YES to being a
better MAN, the kind of man that attracts
a great WOMAN.
If you bombard yourself with messages
that say you are not worthy or that you
are not enough, you will FEEL that way,
so you can see how certain men's
magazines that try to constantly make you
feel insecure would only harm you.
On the other hand, by saying NO to this
stuff, you can then make CONSCIOUS
choices to see the RIGHT movies,
the right music, the right books,
etc.
I saw a FANTASTIC film at the theatre
called "Earth" and it was inspiring, it was
a documentary about nature and how
majestic the natural beauty of Earth
is, including the natural struggle of
how animals go about their daily
survival.
I'd way rather listen to "Scarborough
Fair" than 99% of what is on the
radio. I'm not telling you what
to watch or listen to or read, but
I am saying that YOU should
be conscious and make informed
decisions of what you take into
your mind- it's no different and
no less important than what you
take into your stomach as food.
It's the food of your MIND.
In life you will constantly have CHOICES,
but most people don't even REALIZE this.
They end up DOING things and ACCEPTING
things because they aren't even AWARE of
what is going on- for example, they have
no idea how harmful the wrong messages
and wrong entertainment and wrong
environments are.
But the reality is that no one is FORCING
you to do things, or accept things, or listen
to the wrong messages.
In religion, myth, and folklore, you ever
notice how there is a certain common thread,
which is that nobody MAKES you do
anything- sure there may be the "villain"
the "snake" the "seductress" etc, etc,
but the lesson they keep on trying to
hammer home is that it is WE ourselves
who must make the right decisions.
The fact that every culture on Earth and
every civilization has come up with very
similar stories and mythologies (see
Joseph Campbell's "The Hero With
A Thousand Faces") is a hint to a universal
truth: To live a better life, we have to learn
what to say NO to, and what to say YES to.
So, for example, any time you feel the temptation
to do something that goes against your principles
just to impress a woman, realize this is TEST
for YOURSELF- this is your chance to prove
to YOURSELF that you are the MAN.
Realize that doing ANYTHING that goes against
your principles, just to impress a woman, will
only attract the WRONG woman. And by
NOT giving into this, you will become even
STRONGER in the right ways, which will
make you stand out that much clearer from
all the other wrong guys when you might
the RIGHT woman.
She will see that you are absolutely clear on
your values and that you are exactly the kind
of man she has been looking for.
This leads to my next point:
4. SCREEN FOR THE RIGHT
QUALITIES IN A WOMAN
To me, it's never been about dating tons of
women, or getting "notches" on bedposts.
It's always been about searching for that
super high quality, magical combination of
traits that makes for a great woman.
If you allow tons of the WRONG women
into your life, you will pollute your mind
and emotions and you will require a longer
emotional detox process to clean it all
up so you can be READY for the right
woman.
Too many guys are so focused on getting a woman
into bed, it's as if these women are already perfect
without even being checked out personality-wise.
When "checking out" a woman, don't just check
out her body, check out her personality and her
values. Check out how kind she is, check out
her compassion, check out her strength of values,
check out how disciplined she is, check out
how strongly she is committed to doing the
right thing, check out if she is willing to
be a true PARTNER or just looking for
you to do everything.
Check out how strongly she is able to
RESIST the pressure of the crazy values
preached by many people out there.
Dating is important, so that you PREVENT
yourself from getting into a relationship
with the wrong woman. Think of
dating as a SECURITY check where
you are SCREENING to prevent the
wrong woman or women from getting
into your MIND and your EMOTIONS.
Dating is about finding out who this woman
is INTERNALLY and emotionally.
5. GET INTO THE RIGHT STATE
There are all kinds of ways of getting into
the right emotional state so you can be
at your best when approaching a woman
and having a conversation with her.
The best way for you to get into the right
emotional state is to physically DO something,
because when your body MOVES, you actually
change your emotions. Motion creates emotion.
And to be even more precise, the best actions
to do are the things that you BELIEVE in.
So let's say you believe in charity, then
go out and FIND someone to give a buck
to. You will FEEL better and you will
also be CONGRUENT to the right values,
on a subconscious lever you will be showing
this stuff through tiny subtleties in your
demeanor. It's almost as if a woman will
be able to read your mind and know what
kind of person you are--all because you
will be in the congruent emotional state
to what you just DID recently.
If you believe in HEALTH and vitality,
you can go WORK OUT and approach
women after.
If you love music, then listen to your favourite
music and MOVE to it. It will change your
STATE, there is no way you can be in
a negative state when moving to music
you love. You don't have to even call
this 'dancing' what counts is the
NATURAL MOVEMENT that it
inspires in you.
You can do all the above, you can do
something different, but the key is to
take PHYSICAL action and DO it.
Ever notice how the best singers don't just
say the words but truly put their heart and
soul into the song? They make the words
dance on their tongues, they make the
words soar with emotion into the air.
They aren't just trying to get the song
over with, they are milking every last
word and syllable and having pleasure
and fun with it.
And when you talk with a woman,
don't talk about things that you don't
care about- it will be lifeless and boring.
And don't fake it either- instead, talk
about positive things and fun things
that you really DO care about. And
even MORE importantly, LISTEN
with genuine INTEREST in wanting
to know more about this person
rather than just wanting to get this
person's number or anything else.
6. GET A LIFE YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT
Too many guys are just trying to learn to
FAKE being a cool guy with women.
It's not about being anything with women,
it's about being the best MAN you can be.
So when I hear about guys who are learning
from "pick up artist" types who teach them
to pretend they are busy, i.e. "after you
get the woman's number, make sure you
tell her you can't meet her that night
because you have plans- this will show
her you have a life and that you are hard
to get" it really makes no sense, since
the truth is you really SHOULD be a
man with a plan, a man with things on
his plate, with meaningful goals.
This way, you never have to PRETEND
you are busy with things, and you also
actually DO have things to talk about
that you care about, that are positive
and interesting, and these things also
help give you perspectives that you
can lend to helping HER perspectives
widen as well.
So for example, if you are talking to
her about some book she is reading,
and she tells you something about
ancient history or the character in
the book or the story or whatever,
you will have RICH PERSPECTIVES
and thoughts that you can SHARE
with her as well on the very thing
she is talking about, and you can
also help her see that you UNDERSTAND
her and that you can relate to what
she is saying.
Learning 'pick up lines' and learning to
pretend things like the dating gurus and
pick up artists like to do, is no way to develop
a powerful connection and a powerful
attraction from a woman to you.
7. HOW WOULD YOU BEHAVE IF
YOU RESPECTED YOURSELF TO
THE MAX?
I say this because it's so easy to think
that you are LESS than you really are.
Forget about women for one sec- this
has to do with YOU, not women:
How would you behave and speak and
carry yourself if YOU knew you were
worth a BILLION BUCKS?
Would there be DOUBT in your voice?
Would there be weakness and apology
constantly in your voice?
How would you respect your own TIME
if you knew it was DAMN VALUABLE?
How would you WALK and hold yourself
if you knew you TRULY MATTERED on
this Earth?
Start walking, breathing, and making
DECISIONS in your life based on the
fact that you ARE worthy.
If you DON'T do this, you will NEVER
even GET to the point where you can
SEE just how MASSIVELY this affects
your actual RESULTS in the real world
in every way- in business, with women,
with friends, family, etc.
And if you are reading this right now, and
are serious about meeting and attracting
the RIGHT woman, a woman you are nuts
about who is also nuts about you, then
I seriously suggest you take advantage
of my live coaching- whether you want
coaching on how to approach women,
how to make the date go smoothly,
or how to improve the relationship,
I can help you get there in the fastest
most efficient way possible.
To find out about my live coaching, go to:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/PrivateCoaching.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my book,
'Get A Great Girl,' then definitely do that now.
This book will lay down the foundation you
need for meeting and attracting a woman
who is the 'real thing', and it's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
Till next time.
Michael Marks
P.S. To check out all my programs on meeting
and attracting the RIGHT woman, go to:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php
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