Monday, October 12, 2009

Being "The Man"

When it comes to creating the strongest
level of attraction in women, there is
no room for “game playing”.  The best
women can see “the act” from a mile
away, which is why it’s so important
to be displaying all the right characteristics
for REAL, rather than “pretending” to
be a certain way.


Four of these characteristics are:

1. UNPREDICTABILITY

2. BEING UNCONTROLLABLE

3. BEING A CHALLENGE

4. DISPLAYING DOMINANCE


So let me explain how to actually show
and develop these required traits for REAL,
and in a way that is not malicious but actually
LOVING.

1. UNPREDICTABILITY

The reality is that 99% of what you read
on the internet regarding this is all about
GAMES and PRETENDING all kinds of
things and deliberately doing “things” such
as suddenly “not being available” or
other stupid things like that which will
destroy the trust long-term.

The REAL way to be unpredictable is to
GENUINELY take on a lifestyle of embracing
HUGE CHALLENGES for yourself, and
also by not making your entire life revolve
around HER.

So, for example, if you really have taken on
great goals for yourself that you must accomplish,
things WILL be unpredictable naturally, and this
will pour over into your life.  So you won’t
be able to plan every last second of every
day with her, you won't be available every
second, but this has nothing to do with
not loving her, nothing to do with abuse,
nothing to do with “games”.


The problem is that most guys, especially when
they meet a woman they are attracted to, suddenly
DROP everything else in their life (and unfortunately,
there often isn’t even much else going on BESIDES      
chasing girls and their regular job, in their life,
which is in itself not cool) and they become
completely ready for the woman at any and all
times.

So what happens then is that a man then becomes
about as precious as a song that’s overplayed on
the radio 24 hours a day.  At first, it’s nice, but
then after a while, it’s like “oh, not that song again”.

Here’s another way to avoid predictability:

STOP FOLLOWING SOCIAL CONVENTIONS!

There is no reason for you to be following
every single social convention – in fact, these
formalities are often BORING because they
are so predictable.  And, they’re not even
natural.  So, for example, that’s why when
you see a woman you want to meet, you
should try AVOIDING the “typical” response
which is not even YOUR natural response:

i.e. if she bumps into you on the bus,
instead of saying “that’s okay” when she
says “sorry”, you can playfully pretend she
injured you and that you’re going to sue
her, or you can accuse her of trying to
pick you up this way, etc.  You could
even playfully talk about how women
are so aggressive these days, etc.


When going out shopping for clothing,
get the things YOU find cool, don’t try
to get what everyone else is wearing.

2. BEING UNCONTROLLABLE

This is another huge one.  Most men, especially
when they meet a woman they want to attract,
put HER in control, to the point that most men
actually give UP their own personality and
their own values and their own hobbies and
friends. 

They will do anything to GET the girl, which
is ironically, the best way to LOSE the girl.

You see, the reason you see some JERKS
get women is not because the guy is a JERK.
It’s because at least he is uncontrollable.

But this is again, something most guys totally
get wrong, they think that somehow women
are actually attracted to abuse, which is
totally NOT true and in fact this is something
women find REPULSIVE as hell, and is the

reason most jerks also LOSE the woman they
are with as well. 


Still, though, some  guys think that most 
women actually are ATTRACTED to abuse.
But it's completely wrong.

Here’s the other thing that’s massive about all
this as well: 



Most women don’t even WANT 
to take control over men, but 
the problem is that most men 
GIVE it over anyway!  


They make it painfully obvious that they are
TOTALLY CONTROLLABLE, whether
it’s the fact they will be do whatever she
wants, whenever she wants, and they
will give up their own wants just to please
her.

The key distinction between being a jerk and
being a MAN who is uncontrollable is to be
flexible on matters of taste, and be as firm
as STEEL on matters of principle. 


You should be open to all kinds of new ideas
and doing new things, but you should be
CLOSED completely to the idea of going
against your cherished values. 

The irony, again, is that when a woman sees
you are uncontrollable, it will only
ESCALATE her attraction to you,
she will want you MORE.

There is no need for you to argue by
the way when it comes to this, in fact
if you are arguing about it for an hour,
you are clearly NOT uncontrollable.

Actions speak louder than words.   

3. BEING A CHALLENGE

Again, most of what you read out there
tells you all kinds of games on how to be
a challenge, which is so pathetic and weak,
when you can TRULY be a challenge for
real.

The way to do this for real is to GENUINELY
RAISE YOUR STANDARDS RIGHT NOW.

Most men would sell their own mother just
for the chance to get naked with a “hottie”.
I wonder if these guys ever think to themselves
just how WEAK they appear to these women,
and how absolutely NOT attractive it is, and
how if such a woman agrees to sleep with
such a guy, it’s always some alterior motive,
because it’s absolutely NOT because she
is attracted to him.


Raise your standards for yourself, in what you
accept from yourself and from anyone else,
including women, in terms of behavior and
personality.

So, for example, you become more of a
challenge by her seeing that it's not
that easy to get a lot of your time
before it's earned.  But this is not
a game, this should be your GENUINE
attitude to ANYONE you don't know.  

Similarly, instead of worrying about
women's tests, you should have your
OWN tests to see if a woman has
the right character.

You'd be surprised to see how often
a woman who is attractive will actually
be MORE attracted to you when she sees
you genuinely WOULD dump her if she
didn't have the right traits.  

It's also a good idea to ask a
woman to tell you about her
values, and for you to truly
be listening and clarifying
things with her, it shows
you are screening and that
you have high standards.

Again, though, if this is just
a game, she will see through
that.

If the truth is, that right now, you really
WOULD accept a woman into your life
whose behavior you know deep down is
not right, then you are your own worst
enemy and it is you who is holding yourself
back.

The moment you are willing to SPLIT from
the WRONG women, you actually INCREASE
their attraction to you, and more importantly,
you increase ALL women’s attraction to you,
including the ones who are far better all around.


This is because the internal change is fundamental,
it changes the way you feel, the way you behave,
your tonality, the way you respond to things she
says or that anyone else says.  You become
more of the MAN she really wants.

So, raise your standards- this is why I always
say that the attitude of supposed “pick up artists”
is actually self-defeating, because by putting
all these women on a pedestal, it strips you
of your own value and your own inner
confidence and charisma.  It’s as if there
is a “game” that you have to get all the
women, and that “game” will just ensure
you get NONE of the good ones, because
it creates an attitude of SCARCITY in
your mind. Notice how scarcity is
similar to living in “scared city”.


4. DISPLAYING DOMINANCE

Man, this is probably the BIGGEST one
that gets misinterpreted out there.

Dominance has nothing to do with controlling
women or disrespecting them, or with thinking
that women can’t do almost anything that men
can do.
 

The primary physical difference between
men and women is muscular strength,
that’s it.  Even the whole PMS thing, the
reality is that it’s exaggerated in terms of
its effects on women’s actual minds
and emotions.  Otherwise there would
not be fighter pilots who are women,
prime ministers who are women, etc.

And, in a world of machines and technology,
being more muscular is not really a big deal.

So, if you want to LOSE a woman quickly,
just make sure that you MISINTERPRET
what dominance really is. 

So, what dominance really is, is that you
are dominant over your OWN emotions
and also that you are DOMINANT in
the bedroom.

This doesn’t mean she can't be aggressive
if she feels like it, but in general the fact
is that most women get turned on big-time
when you are more dominant.  



There are all kinds of theories on the reason 
why this is, from evolutionary arguments to 
social ones, but the main thing is to realize 
that you must be assertive in the bedroom.
Yes, of course you should be loving, too,
and there are definitely times for intimacy
and sweetness, of course.


How the heck is a guy going to be 
assertive when he has placed his balls
in her hands from day one, and he has 

been elevating her on a pedestal simply 
because of what she looks like, and he 
has given complete control and 
predictability over to HER?

This is why most guys are already finished
at “hello”, because the very way they
started the interaction already gave away
the fact that in bed, things would be totally
in HER control completely and that he would
not be assertive and that in general he would
place her on a pedestal for no good reason.


Allow me now to get to the other part of
dominance, which is DOMINANCE
OVER YOUR OWN EMOTIONS.


Most human beings, are totally slaves to
their own “triggers”, and they don’t even
know it. 

We think only drug addicts are under the
control of a “pusher”, but the truth is that
MOST HUMAN BEINGS are under the
control of some version of a “pusher”
whether its human or not.  For example,
how many hours a day do we waste on
negative emotions? How often do we
eat the wrong foods? How often do we
fail to exercise? How often do we kiss
up because we’re afraid of what might
happen if we stand up for what we believe
in?

This is one area where there is true equality,
it doesn’t matter whether you’re a billionaire
or whether you’re massively successful in
some other area of life, the fact is that most
people are slaves to some “pusher” force
in their lives, and if you can just get OVER
that slavery to that force that is taking
emotional control over you, it would
massively increase not only your success
in life, but also it is attractive as hell.


For example, how much of a man can you
really be, if you are still addicted to that
“pusher” force in your life? 

If it’s junk food, then we must wean ourselves
off of it.

If it’s “approaching women anxiety”, then we must
make that first approach, no matter how small, no
matter how brief that interaction lasts- it’s the only
way to make that fear go away.

If it's some addiction, we must get the proper
support and take action to conquer it. 

Whatever it is, there is no power on earth
like conquering your own “ex-pusher”, and
the resulting deep-rooted confidence that
flows from this will spill over into your
every BREATH and every MOVE you
make, and will be as tangible as concrete
to the women you meet. They will FEEL
that you are the kind of man that is in
CONTROL AND DOMINANT, over
the greatest adversary there is – ourselves.

Women know if you can do that, you can
probably do ANYTHING.  And when
you can do anything, and have anyone,
and you have CHOSEN her from all
other women that way, is this not far
MORE loving that being with a woman
because you are a SLAVE to her or
because you felt you could get no
one ELSE?
 

And if you are reading this right now,
and would like to become the kind of
MAN that attracts the very best women
through who he IS rather than through
PRETENDING with games, then I
suggest you download my book
immediately, at:

http://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html

Till next time,

Michael Marks

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