How To Banish Neediness

One of the worst tortures that any man
can go through on earth is being obsessed
with one woman who doesn't seem to
understand him, love him, or want him.

A similar torture is being obsessed with the
fear of LOSING a woman.  This insecurity
is fueled by neediness, and the sad part is
that the fear can become a self-fulfilling
prophecy, as it will trigger unattractive
behaviors that will often push even a
good woman away.

In fact, the whole story of "Darth Vader" is
really sparked by his neediness for a woman!

His insecurities and fears cause him nightmares
that he will lose the woman he loves, and also
causes him to see infidelities that never even
existed.

So the most famous downfall of a filmic
character, the greatest filmic tragedy of all,
is really about a man who has lost out to his
neediness for a woman.

I don't say this as a joke, but to underline
how powerful and how painful this whole
issue is of wanting to feel that level of
security that a woman is going to never
leave you, or that she loves you, etc.

                                                        
The reality is that the the ability to not be
OVERWHELMED by these emotions
is what truly marks our development
as great men.

It all boils down to getting over the FEAR
of this potential loss.  Once we can can
ACCEPT this potential loss, and still
realize we can be okay, then we are
able to stop obsessing about it.

THEN we are ready for handling the dating
process, the relationship, and being with
the right woman.

We have to realize that our fears are not
the external world really, our fears are
what WE create ourselves in our heads,
we THINK we have all these things to fear.

Just like that scene in Empire Strikes Back,
where Luke enters the cave and Yoda tells
him he won't need his lightsaber or any
other weapons in there.

Luke doesn't believe him, of course, so he
takes his lightsaber into the cave, and
then sees what he thinks is Darth Vader
and then when he strikes at Vader his
greatest fear is made apparent- he sees
that behind Vader's mask is actually
his OWN reflection, and his fear of
course is that he will ALSO become
like Vader by giving into his own fears
as well.

It's a very poignant message when it comes
to women as well.

The fear of not being loved, or of losing love, is HELL.

Not only is it torturous, but that very feeling destroys a man of his confidence, and robs him of his charisma and sense of humor,
not only with her, but with ALL women, which makes his results even worse, which then makes him feel even worse, and so on.

So what I'd like to do today is help any man reading this to stop the addiction to being obsessed with a woman who is not loving him back.

It's often good guys who are doing this,
so it's especially important to me to
write this article.

Meanwhile jerks always think they are
great and that they are the prize, and
would NEVER pursue a woman who
isn't reciprocating, etc.

So, anytime you feel yourself obsessing
over ONE woman, I want you to take
notice of the following things:

1. How much time have you REALLY spent with
OTHER women lately?

2. How much time have you been FANTASIZING
about how GREAT and PERFECT things would
be if you just had HER?

3. How much ACTION have you actually took
to meet OTHER women?

These three actions form a "perfect storm" of
DISASTER to your emotions.

See, what happens is that rather than living in
the REALITY of having to take ACTION to
meet other women, it's much easier (even though
it's also simultaneously PAINFUL) to
fantasize about some dream concept with
some woman who you aren't actually
WITH.

See, the mind is a very interesting thing:
Given the choice to think about a perfect fantasy
or having to pursue something in reality, it will
ALWAYS choose fantasy, because no matter
how awesome a REALITY is, it can NEVER
match the fantasy that YOU YOURSELF have
created in your OWN mind.

It's the perfect fantasy because you created it.

So let's say you are obsessed with one woman,
whether it's a woman who you've had to divorce,
a woman who you love who has never loved you
back, or any other woman, 99 per cent of the time
the PAIN comes from the CONTRAST of
FANTASIZING about how AWESOME things
"could" be, and then comparing that to your reality.

And of course, since you haven't been working
on CHANGING that reality, that reality currently
feels PARTICULARLY bad.

Presto- this creates the emotion known as
NEEDINESS.

You now don't just LIKE a particular woman, you
now NEED HER for dear life.

And it really makes me sick how so many of the
BEST MEN ON EARTH are the ones who make
themselves suffer so much, it's because they
aren't arrogant and they allow themselves to
give a little TOO MUCH credit to a woman who
really hasn't earned it.

This to me, is not really nice, it's a kind of nice
that comes from a good man not KNOWING the reality of
his own awesome value, and from simultaneously
distorting the value of the wrong woman by
inflating her value.

So the key is to first become AWARE of
what you are doing- you are comparing
something that is not even REAL, something
that exists only in your mind, i.e. how
PERFECT things would be if you just
HAD this woman, with what life would
be like if you took action in real life
with some other women.

The REAL LIFE can't match or compare.

And the longer you allow yourself to stay
obsessed, the MORE you brainwash yourself
into thinking and FEELING that the things
you've projected onto a woman are indeed
TRUE and FACTUAL.

See, humans aren't very good at determining
REALITY, they think that their EMOTIONS
are always good indicators of TRUTH, and
though sometimes they are, they also sometimes
are TOTALLY WRONG.

So if you allow yourself to follow your emotions
of pining or obsessing for some woman who
hasn't done much to EARN that, you will
brainwash yourself into thinking she HAS
earned it, as if you are so low on the scale
of value that she is so awesome in comparison,
or you'll brainwash yourself of her value
in some other way, you'll actually convince
yourself that she really IS from a logical
point of view "worth it", when in reality
this is known as backwards rationalizing,
or "cognitive dissonance".

By the way, almost EVERYONE brainwashes
themselves, and it's almost never a good thing.

For example, some women are emotionally
irresponsible and they attribute the cause of
their negative emotions to everyone except
themselves.

If you want a quality woman in your life,
you'd be best warned to watch out for
a woman who sees herself as a victim of
everything.

The reality is that while some human beings
manage to barely walk away from an oven
in a concentration camp as a child and still
grow up emotionally stable, other people
will cry like the world is ending because
ten years ago they didn't get a fancy
video game system to play with as a kid.

Other people will blame the fact that they
weren't allowed to eat junk food as kid
for why they need to cheat on their spouse
or partner.

The bottom line is, it's not really your
CIRCUMSTANCES, it's your ATTITUDE
that determines the meaning of those
circumstances.

But if you let your emotions RULE YOU
rather than YOU ruling your EMOTIONS,
your emotions will pretend they are your
friends, and they will make you think that
indeed everything else in life is what is
bringing you down, but that it's not your
responsibility at all.

If you are looking for a great woman, then
be on the lookout for how consistent she is
in being in a positive frame of mind, and
also be on the lookout to see how consistent
she is with maintaining a sense of moral
fairness, i.e. does she bump ahead of other
people in line? Does she jump to conclusions
about things? Is the rational or is she usually
basing her decisions on whatever emotion
she's feeling in the moment?

Does she insist on using condoms?

Or does she go base things on a "feeling"???

Does she work hard or does she
"feel" no work is inspiring or
worth doing?

So, don't think that it's just you who must
do this battle to conquer emotions when
they can cloud your thinking, it's everyone,
but if you want to get rid of NEEDINESS,
then just start to notice how the needy
feeling you have for a woman is always
accompanied by a tendency to NOT
STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, and
to instead fantasize about some made
up concept of how awesome life would
be if you "just" had this woman.

This type of thinking will actually prevent
you from ever GETTING a great woman,
because a great woman has got her emotions
under control and would expect that you as
a MAN should FOR SURE have his.

Mind you, great men and great women are
EXTREMELY RARE.

But once you develop yourself to get into
that category, you then know how to immediately
detect one when you've found one. The difference
between her and other women and in fact between
her and most other PEOPLE, is MASSIVE.

Getting control over your neediness is so
important, that if you don't, you won't
notice the very REAL things that a woman
will be doing to you including things that
are not cool at all.

So for example, a woman who you've allowed
yourself to feel too much emotion for and
she hasn't earned it, you will become
BLIND to the fact she is not truly being
faithful, or if she is a hypocrite in
other ways.

But NEEDINESS in your soul will find
A MILLION EXCUSES for it.

This is the thing, as a great man, you have to
have the POTENTIAL WARMTH to unleash
in a woman who DESERVES it, but you also
have to have the potential COLDNESS of a
"jerk" to shut off your emotions so that you
don't become weak and make the wrong
decisions to pursue the wrong woman or
to tolerate LOW STANDARDS OF
BEHAVIOR.

The moment you find yourself getting
EMOTIONALLY WEAK, go jump in
a COLD SHOWER for an instant!

It will WAKE YOU UP OUT OF THE
SPELL!

So the lesson for today is to become
AWARE of the FALLACY of creating
fantasies in your mind based on zero
evidence, and becoming AWARE of
how this FICTION then robs you of
the desire to actually take action in
the REAL WORLD, which is less
than perfect, but still pretty damn
AWESOME, because it's actually
REAL.

A real woman, beautiful and with a great
personality but who is not perfect, is much
better than the DISTORTED concept of
PERFECTION that you've created in
your mind of some particular woman.

Take that FIRST STEP today by actually
CHALLENGING your emotions for
EVIDENCE.

So, if you are feeling NEEDY for a woman,
demand REAL EVIDENCE for why she is
so great. And make sure you are calm when
you are doing this, because if you do it when
needy, you'll CREATE LIES that you will
believe to back up your emotions.

Also, if you are feeling FEAR of approaching
a woman, DEMAND REAL EVIDENCE.

You know that FEAR is just
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Getting your inner game down tight is
MASSIVELY IMPORTANT.

Don't wake up after ten years to find out you've been
allowing your emotions to brainwash you and hold
you back with women and with life.

If you want to SKYROCKET your inner game
and confidence, as well as get the crucial insights
on how to approach women, get dates, get physical,
and have a fantastic relationship, then you need to
download my book, "Get A Great Girl" NOW.

This book is packed with fantastic advice that
you can use IMMEDIATELY to meet, attract,
and KEEP a quality woman.

It's at:

http://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html

And if you haven't got my SEDUCTION
MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM
yet, then do that now. This program is the
ADVANCED level on skyrocketing your
inner game and on attracting women.

It's at:

http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html

Till next time,

Michael Marks

P.S. To check out all the programs I've designed
to help you attract a true quality woman, go to:

http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php