Friday, January 30, 2009

Succeed Or Fail - It's Up To You

It's incredible when you realize that
the people who GET somewhere awesome
in this world, without exception, all
seem to have the same characteristic-
they know deep deep down that in fact
they CAN do it, no matter how "illogical"
it might seem.

A few years ago, I was lucky enough
to see James Cameron in person, as
he received an honorary degree at
Ryerson University for his achievements
in film. This was just after "Titanic"
had broken all records.

James Cameron is the man responsible
for creating such classics as The Terminator,
Aliens, and Titanic. Not only did he direct
these films, but he also conceives the
very story idea, he usually writes the
entire script, he edits the films, and
has a major hand in just about EVERY
element of his movies- this is what gives
his movies that "look and feel" that
is uniquely his.

Guess what?
James Cameron never even went to film school.
He was driving a truck at the time, and
devoured the books on filming from the
university library.

And he took apart every camera he could
get his hands on to learn how they worked.

Guess what else?
Just about EVERY film he has ever done
started out with all the "experts"
predicting the film was going to be
a failure, because it would be too
costly, too experimental, too this
or too that.

I still remember his speech at Ryerson,
where he explained that when it came to
Titanic, while the film was still in
production, the "experts" all predicted
it was going to be a total failure,
because, after all:

1. "The film is a historical period
piece- nobody wants to see those
kinds of movies".

2. "Everybody already knows the story
of the Titanic- they already know how
it's going to end! No one wants to see
that!"

3. "The film is too long- nobody
wants to sit through a movie that
is about three hours long- especially
a historical period piece!"

4. "The film has no major movie
stars, nobody is going to want
to come see it". (This was
before Leonardo DiCaprio was
famous.)

And then at the speech, James
Cameron said, "Well, I guess
they didn't know everything!"

Cameron was so dedicated to making the
movie and getting it done properly
that when the studio wanted to cut
the funding of the film because it
was going over schedule and over
budget, he gave up his OWN director's
salary! He was willing to use his
OWN money to ensure he could get
the movie made the exact way he
envisioned it.

Now THAT is congruency.

And now, almost a decade later,
he is again revolutionizing film:



My point is this:
Congruency is everything.
You have to be COMPLETELY committed
to your goal.

Congruency means that every level
of your behavior is alligned and
consistent:
Your thoughts, your goals, your
actions, your lifestyle, your words,
EVERYTHING.

If you want a great woman, then you have
to STOP any type of actions that are
INCONSISTENT with this goal.

A great woman is looking for a great man,
and she will spot the inconsistencies-
be it a negative attitude, be it a lazy
attitude, be it hatred against women,
be it a closed-minded attitude, be it
lack of conviction in your self-worth,
be it a lack of sense of purpose, etc.

It really is up to you, no matter
what anyone else says, no matter
how good your excuse is for
failing.

The key though is to find out what
YOU are passionate about, and do that.

James Cameron didn't try to "fit in"
with everyone else so that he could
get a "normal" job. He found his
passion, and pursued that, no matter
how illogical it seemed.

It's not like he was 19 and in film school
with no 'adult' major responsibilities on
his mind.

At the time he made the decision to make
movies, he was 31 and a truck driver.

So, not having money is not an excuse
either for not pursuing your passion.

The next time someone says "you can't"
just remember the words of Mr. Cameron:
"I guess they didn't know everything."

Till next time...

Michael Marks
www.GetAGreatGirl.com

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Power Within Your HEART

Just happened to see this clip that truly
demonstrates the power of what happens when
you unleash the HEART within:



Notice how this incredible man was clearly
never given the self-esteem fuel early in
life, and he initially starts with low
confidence, but once he taps into the
emotion within, his entire body language
transforms.

We may not all be actual singers or
painters or performers, but we all
have INFINITE emotion within, that
can be tapped to transform yourself
on the inside and out.

Till next time...

Michael Marks
www.GetAGreatGirl.com

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Truth About "Inner Game"

INNER GAME is another word for your
internal strength of emotional state
and your ability to enter the right
states of mind at the right moment.

The truth is that inner game is the most
important part of your development, and
it's the secret that enables you to do incredible
at not only pick-up without using memorized
pick up lines, but it also helps you at every
stage of an interaction including even
relationships.

The best part of all this is that it's not
a game. It's the real you.

Women will respect this development and
be attracted to you because they simply
can't NOT be attracted to it. It's too
rare, too precious, too liberating and
empowering even just to WITNESS
somebody like this, for anyone to
be able to IGNORE it.

The irony of course though is that you
can't really do this just to get a woman,
as that in itself is kind of weak.

The FIRST thing to become aware of is
all the TRASH in your mind that is holding
you back from being as powerful as you can be.

99% of this trash is all FEAR based.

And the craziest part of all, is that 99% of these
fears are ABSURD.

We've just become so damn good at brainwashing
ourselves that these fears are IMPORTANT.

For example, when you see a woman you'd like
to talk to, and you don't approach her, it's not
because you are going to go to jail if you talk
to her.

And you don't avoid her because you think she
will attack you, or hurt you.

The biggest reason for avoidance is to avoid
having our EGO damaged.

We don't want to RISK damaging something
that doesn't even EXIST.

Our ego is our own ARTIFICIAL CREATION.

We create it, and we arbitrarily decide what's
good for it, and what's bad for it. As if we
KNOW what's good for us.

But the truth is, the BEST thing you can do
is banish that ego, because all it does is set
up limiting options for your life, because
you won't do anything that might damage
that ego. And that means you won't ever
GROW as a person, and worst of all, you
will never be free of fear.

Because you will always be living with the
fear of "what if something comes along that
might damage might ego?""

But if you throw your ego out, then you
can EMBRACE whatever the hell you need
to do to grow and learn.

This is why it's actually good to NOT get
fantastic success with women right away,
because if you never "fail", then you will
be TERRIFIED of it happening, as you
have no clue what it might be like, and
your imagination will make it far worse
than it is.

Life is nothing but a bunch of short moments.
None of these moments is something to be
afraid of, but we arbitrarily decide to create
FEARS based on our own artificial GROUPING
of moments. So for example, seeing a beautiful
woman is not a thing to fear.

It's actually pretty cool, right?
Okay, now, walking UP to a woman is also
nothing to fear, you do this all the time
without even THINKING about it, let's
say if she happens to be on the bus or
train or whatever and you are walking
past her. Or if you are in a crowd,
and you don't even notice her there.

So, clearly walking near or up to a
woman is nothing to fear.

Now, TALKING to woman who is beautiful
is nothing to fear either. We do it all the time
and think nothing of it if it's not about doing
an actual "pick-up".

It all only becomes a problem or FEAR
when we attach EGO to it. So we decide
to make it a fear when we want to get her
APPROVAL of our own worth.

We think, "Damn, if only she would LIKE
me, then things would be AWESOME!"

Then I would feel GREAT!

Now, this actually isn't true though, it's
actually YOU allowing YOURSELF to
feel that way, but you are only giving
yourself permission to feel this if SHE
says you are great, or desirable, etc.

Do you see how we are the ones making
the problem? We are the ones creating
the pain?

And the truth is, how do you explain the
stars in Hollywood who have all the
most beautiful women, and yet who are
all depressed and end up in rehab or
worse, committing suicide or destroying
themselves in other ways?

Do you think these people are somehow
DIFFERENT? They are the same like
anyone else, and the truth is that no THING
brings any emotion to anyone unless we
ALLOW it. As soon as you get the thing
you thing will bring you happiness, the
moment lasts for a brief moment, and then
it's GONE, and you start to feel a LACK
again--unless you start looking at the
JOURNEYS OF LIFE as the actual
joy and not the destination.

Sure, enjoy the destination when you are there,
but realize it's the journey that's the bigger
deal. This is why the coolest people constantly
challenge themselves with new cool things.

But we ALLOW this thing called EGO to
TAKE OVER and all it does is try to CONTROL
everything so that it doesn't get hurt- and yet
THIS is what causes us all the pain. So
it avoids challenges and avoids any potential
ego risk.

And yet here's the thing- if you can just
FORGET about what you can GET from
a woman, including even just her approval,
and you instead just live in the MOMENT,
and stop focusing on the past pain, and
stop thinking about how GOOD things
would be in the FUTURE if you "just had her",
you would do SOOOOOO much better
in the actual pick up with her!

The reason for this, is because your mind
and emotions are INFINITELY powerful
when they are not being driven in opposite
directions.

Your mind is the most UPDATED model of
a SUPER POWERFUL tool that has helped
your ancestors come up with all kinds of
brilliant ways to triumph against challenges
like hunger, horrible weather, traveling
across wild oceans, surviving life amongst
dangerous beasts and animals, surviving
against enemies, a mind that has been
resourceful enough to come up with
creative ways to also win friends and
allies and to attract a female mate to
continue your genes from generation
generation.

The thing is, this mind that is more
sophisticated than the greatest computer
gets all JAMMED and screwed up when
it's being given OPPOSITE messages-
i.e. GET THAT GIRL, vs. DON'T
GET YOUR EGO HURT!

It's like having your foot on the brake
and the accelerator at the same time.

So how do you get rid of all these ego-based
FEARS?

Well, one powerful thing you can do is to
learn to STOP thinking about anything other
than the MOMENT.

This doesn't mean to start acting like an
impulsive idiot, what it means is to start
focusing on the PRESENT and to stop
doing things out of the PAIN of the PAST,
and to stop doing things for some type
of FUTURE "NIRVANA".

The truth is that the past doesn't exist,
the future doesn't exist, they are only
in your MIND, and also NO "THING" will
bring you some type of 'NIRVANA',
however the JOURNEY is what is the
JOY in things. So learning to enjoy
the PROCESS is what will make
your entire LIFE meaningful and
rewarding.

So when you see a woman you like,
let THAT in itself be the motivation
to just TALK to her, stop thinking
what it will LEAD to, because that
is the FUTURE, and thinking about
things other than the present will only
DETRACT from your ability to DEAL
with the present.

And the whole POINT of this training
of your mind, is to realize anyway that
there is no such thing as the past or future,
and that the joy is in the MOMENT.

Of course, by being in the PRESENT,
you will chat with her in a way that
SHOWS you are in the PRESENT,

You will, for example, take note of the
MOMENT, and make a comment that is
IN THE PRESENT. She, in turn, will
respond by being in the moment-
for example, if you are both at the
supermarket counter line-up, and it's
taking forever for the person at the
front to find his wallet, cash, or
coupon, etc, and you say "I'm so
hungry, I think I'll eat this loaf
of bread right here and pay for
it when I get up to the front"
the woman will SENSE that you
are in the present and it will disarm
her.

She will not feel the need to resist you,
because there is nothing TO resist, you
are simply being in the PRESENT, which
is exactly where you ALL are.

And, more importantly, because you are
not worried about the past or future, your
DELIVERY of these words will show
in your voice, your body language, your
expression on your face a certain type of
strength, a certain type of humor that also
shows you are secure and that you are
not so fragile that you need to be so
serious about everything, that it will
CHARM her.

This is just a TINY SPECK of the
MASSIVE POWER that exists by tapping
into the skill of being in the PRESENT.

And let me ask you something:
Even if this DOESN'T lead to always getting
her in BED with you, you know for SURE
that this INCREASES YOUR CHANCES
ABOUT A BILLION TIMES MORE
with women in general by adopting this
attitude than by being focused on anything
EXCEPT the present.

If you start thinking too much about the future
and past, you will come up with a BILLION
reasons NOT to take action, your ego will
start interfering with things, and you will
also sound WAY WORSE when you do
finally decide to take action, because you
will be emotionally coming from a place
of confusion and that weakness will be
conveyed in your every subtlety, from
your voice, to your mannerisms, to your
smile or lack of it.

When you can finally let GO of your
EGO and let go of anything but the
PRESENT, you will start to see a
friggen whole other UNIVERSE
open up for you, and you are going
to have more women, of higher quality
as well, than you will possibly have time
for. I mean this, every word, it's not
an exaggeration.

Your ego is like a EMOTIONAL POLLUTION
MAGNET for your mind - it stores all kinds
of emotional TRASH that does NOTHING
for you. It's a tricky sucker, because it
makes you think it's protecting you,
it makes you think it IS you, it makes
you think that you are your current
emotions or thoughts even if they are
totally destructive and negative and
weak.

And it makes you think that the REWARD
is in the destination, rather than in the
PROCESS and in the ATTITUDE.

Here's a great exercise for you:
Next time you see a woman you'd like
to chat to, see how much INSPIRATION
YOU CAN PACK INTO THE MOMENTS
YOU SPEND TALKING TO HER.

I PROMISE YOU, that there is magnificence
in every single thing that you currently think
is MUNDANE or BORING.

I don't care if you are in the line at the
supermarket, or if you are on the bus
and she is reading the newspaper,
there is something AWESOME
or FUNNY or INSPIRING or
BEAUTIFUL in it.

Don't let the brainwashed world turn YOU
into a brainwashed person who is zombie
with his most empowering and awesome
emotions turned off.

The trick is to be in the PRESENT.
The reason you find it hard to "come up"
with cool stuff to say is because you are
trying to be PERFECT, because you don't
want to fail. Trust me, I understand this,
I'm human and once in a rare while, this
happens to me too, even after training
for years. But if it happens, it's only
because I've let myself get wrapped
up in something other than the MOMENT.

So the trick is to work into your life
a way of BREAKING this habit.

For years, I used to every morning and
every night go out and pour cold water
buckets over me, and it TOTALLY got
me out of "thinking" state and into
BEING IN THE MOMENT!!!!!

The name of that moment is
"WHOAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

You may want to try this, after consulting
with your doctor, or you can come up with
something equally state-changing.

One final message I want to say is that
PERSPECTIVE is your greatest friend.

So often, the greatest PAIN we experience
is also the ONLY thing that allows us to
truly LEARN and to GROW.

Think about it- how often did you ONLY
learn a great lesson the HARD WAY?

This is why the guys who get the greatest
success are usually the guys who had the
greatest amount of "failures"- so it starts
to make you realize that actually "failures"
are the only way to learn the MOST.

So is it really failure, if failure is the ONLY
way to great success? It's actually pretty
CRAZY that we live in a society that
calls "not getting what you want" as
"failure" when it REALLY should be
called ONE MASSIVE STEP CLOSER
TO SUCCESS.

Chances are, that if you really suffer
"failure", you are ready to LEARN
from it.

And regarding PERSPECTIVE, I want you
to start letting go of any HATE AND PAIN
that you are storing inside of you regarding
ANY woman who has EVER hurt you.

This was the hardest thing for me to do,
and once I did this, I started to TAKE
OFF.

And guess what, those people who hurt you,
very often are the ones who actually need
the love the most. So of course if you are
being abused by any woman, then you should
get the HELL out of there, but there's no
reason to let this person bring YOU down
by making you have to carry all that negativity
with you for life. And when you realize that
these people who hurt others are the ones
who are hurting the most, it's much easier
to LET GO of those negative emotions.

Again, it's the EGO and it's being in the
PAST or the FUTURE that holds us back.
All these things don't even EXIST, and
they hold us back from the only thing
that DOES exist- the PRESENT.

Till next time...

Michael Marks
www.GetAGreatGirl.com