It's always cool to see guys actually
APPLYING what they learn and getting
the results they are looking for.
Lately, I've had the privilege
to see guys getting awesome results,
and the best part of all is that
these guys are all GREAT guys,
they are not jerks at all!
Being successful with women has
nothing to do with being a jerk
who bosses women around, and it
also has nothing to do with
being a pushover either-
success with women is about
having a dynamic personality.
ANYONE can learn to achieve
this personality and to make
that personality consistent
with who they really are.
There are tons of variations
of dynamic personalities.
Here's a recent letter:
***LETTER***
"Just wanted to let you know that
the girl I was talking about in the
email below, has been dating me for
two months now already!
To be honest, I never really
understood what you ment with
"If you give a girl the self-esteem
she deserves, she'll be yours".
Now I definitely understand.
I respect her, care for her and
help her, all together with not
"being a dog" and instead act
like a man. This combination is
incredibly powerful!!
I just got a text message from her
saying "you're the best thing that
ever happened to me"!
I would have of course never have
respected, cared and helped her
to this extent before I was sure
that she was a quality woman! But
I guess that speaks for itself after
having read all your material!
Good luck and we'll keep in touch.
Ciao!"
***MY COMMENTS***
Nothing better than hearing about
guys getting results by actually
combining the three key ingredients:
1. Screen for a high quality woman,
who is just as awesome inside as
she is on the outside.
2. Then, give her the awesome
gift of your developed, dynamic,
unstoppable personality that makes
life so much more fun and meaningful
for her to be around you.
3. Make her feel AMAZING
about HERSELF as well.
So many guys think it's about
jerks vs. nice guys, when really
the truth is that without the
dynamic personality, it doesn't
matter, it won't make a difference
if the guy is "nice" or "mean".
But when you have learned how
to develop yourself, and then
how to feel maximum self-esteem
in yourself, and you learn how
to give that to a woman as well,
then you're unstoppable.
And guys who are high self-esteem
are something much better than
"nice", they are giving from a
place of STRENGTH.
And if you'd like to be THAT
kind of man, then go to
http://www.getagreatgirl.com
IMMEDIATELY.
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Meeting A Woman For The First Time
The first few moments when you are meeting
a woman for the first time are actually
your moments of GREATEST OPPORTUNITY,
because you are starting with a clean slate.
Unfortunately, though, most guys DESTROY
this massive opportunity by doing all the
wrong things, and creating the wrong
first impression.
But right now, you are going to get some
MASSIVE pointers so you can not only make
a great impression, but even get a woman to
be asking YOU out before the conversation
is done.
This actually happens with the guys in my
bootcamps quite often, the woman actually is
so attracted that she is the FIRST ONE to
suggest they should meet for coffee or
a drink!
That's the advantage of bootcamp, because I
can actually be right there to see what you
are doing and I can diagnose what's wrong
and fix it IMMEDIATELY.
The first thing that you need to do in an
interaction is HOOK a woman's interest
as fast as possible. This doesn't mean
that you have to be some super clown
or some super hero, but you do have
to establish that you have a vibrant
personality. In other words, she has
to FEEL compelling and positive emotions
in your presence.
The way to do this is to first open up a
conversation with something NEUTRAL
so you don't seem like you are BARGING
in, but then quickly transition to something
INTERESTING or fun or playful or
intriguing.
So right now, I want you to right down
something that has happened to you since
the day you were born till today, SOMETHING
that is interesting, or funny, or compelling.
There is no way on earth that you have
NOTHING true that is funny, interesting,
intriguing or playful to say that has
happened to you or that you have seen
or experienced somehow, or at least
that you HEARD about or READ
about something that is funny or
a funny perspective on things.
Now, remember I said that the very FIRST
thing you say should not be the most
POWERFUL thing, as it can look and
seem like you are trying to hard. It's
much better to TRANSITION to the
more emotionally compelling thing.
And it's also a particularly great idea to
get a woman LAUGHING or chuckling
as part of this emotional experience.
So, for example, I might start a conversation
in a neutral manner, using the right confident,
playful, and upbeat tonality in the voice, and
say "hi there, there's been something on my
mind all day and I was wondering if I could
get your take on it" (this is the neutral part
of the conversation, it's not funny or anything,
just neutral, but it allows me a way to smoothly
transition into the emotional/playful stuff.
So she will nod, and say "sure, go ahead".
Then I will keep the pretend serious face,
and say "If you were to marry Fred Flintstone
or Barney Rubble, who would it be?"
It will take a second for it to sink into her,
and then she'll laugh and probably say
something like "Fred I suppose" and I
will say something back like "Fred???
Fred was too regular of a guy, working
9 to 5, I'm much more of a Barney guy,
this relationship here would never work
out between the two of us"
Then she might start to laugh some more,
and I'll carry on, saying "nooo seriously,
Betty Rubble was a cool woman, because
she let Barney do whatever he wanted all
day! After all, what did Barney do all
day anyway? He was in the car with
Fred, but we never saw him working!"
From HERE, I can then transition into
more REAL conversation, where I can
give a meaningful compliment to her
on something like the answer she gives
me to what kind of qualities she really
respects in a man, etc.
And at that point, I'm working on developing
a real connection with a woman, where it's
all about my listening skills and really paying
attention and helping her feel understood and
validated.
The example above is just an example,
I personally never use memorized openers
but I thought it would help give a picture
of what the conversation flow should
look like.
The point is not to tease a woman for the
sake of teasing, the whole point here is
to make a serious and powerful emotional
connection, and to actually take a woman
through a whole range of emotions, from
laughter to deeper emotional connection
as well. It's just that there is a practical
and effective way of going about this,
and that's what you need to do when
you are trying to get a chance with
a woman who is a total stranger.
And when you do this with a woman
who had not known you ever before,
she is MESMERIZED because you
have created more emotional impact
and connection with her in five minutes
than every other guy she has EVER known.
Notice that there is a range of emotions
in the example above, it starts normal
enough so as not to raise her defenses,
then evolves toward getting her laughing
which makes her now far more RECEPTIVE
to being approached and chatted to, and
then works on getting into a deeper level
of connection- because before you can
go into a deep connection you need to
have some lighter stuff first.
Here are some other important tips:
IF YOU'RE SHY, THEN STAND CLOSER
I say this because if you're shy, chances are
you are standing too far away from her.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHOW INTEREST
Too many guys are trying to spare any form of
rejection and trying to make sure they don't
ruin things - so they don't show ANY real
interest in the woman. Yet, the woman knows
anyway from all sorts of things in your body
language, and it's better to be confident
about showing your interest in a woman
rather than fearing what the reaction will
be- HOWEVER the thing is that your
interest in her MUST be coming from
a place of CONFIDENCE, not desperation.
This makes all the difference in the world.
It's okay to LIKE a woman, it's just not cool
to be needy for her. And the truth is, neediness
really has nothing to do with how "great" a
woman is, it has to do with your own perception
of yourself, which is a huge part of the "inner
game" dimension that I teach as well.
BE MORE FLIRTATIOUS
Don't be afraid to give her a sexual look,
or to be more playful, you have to make
it clear that this IS indeed as verbal foreplay
to other things.
Again, failure to do this is also often traced
to inner game issues, which gets me to my
next point:
INTERPRET EVERYTHING AS A COMPLIMENT
Insecurity is the devil. Insecurity is evil.
Insecurity is the source of all problems.
So, the opposite is true as well, even if it starts
with you FORCING yourself to behave this
new way.
If a woman says something to you and you're
not sure if it was a sign of interest in you, just
interpret it as if it is.
If a woman says something to you and you're
not sure if it is an insult or a compliment, interpret
it as a compliment.
It's AMAZING to me when I see in person how
often women are giving a guy HUGE SIGNALS
of interest, and the guy is not picking up on it.
I will often signal to a guy that he already
HAS the woman in DEEP, she is really,
really into him, yet for some reason he
feels that maybe she isn't into him enough
for him to ask for her number or email, etc.
So I will give the hidden signal to him to go
for it when I KNOW it's clear, and then the
woman will HAPPILY not only give her contact
info to the guy, but actually TELL him to
call him!
So often, we are our own worst enemies,
and we need to learn how to overcome
OURSELVES, not anything that women
are doing to us.
So, to overcome this, take BABY STEPS,
but KEEP ON PROGRESSING. So for
example, start with making EYE CONTACT
with women, then go to playfully teasing,
then go to approaching GROUPS of women,
then go to approaching women in the
craziest of places like busy subway
stations or lingerie stores, learn to
EMBRACE the challenge and THRIVE
off of it!
The human mind and human emotions are
INFINITELY powerful, they just need to
be STIMULATED, and once you start to
train them, you will see there is no limit
to what you can do, and nowhere is this
more impressive than with attracting
the best quality women on the planet.
Let me also give an example here of
inner game-
Hope your weekend went well...I was on
this date last night with a very pretty and
smart girl and things are going well (actually
very very well). I couldn't believe it was
flowing that smoothly (of course thanks
to your training) but I also knew the true
test will come when the bill arrives - you
teach us that when on a first or second date
and the bill comes we should split it or at
least not making her feel cheap and.
So the bill comes and i made a funny comment
to the waitress on how funny it is that she
puts the bill on my side of the table, then
my date looks at the bill and says "Let me put
some money in" so I said "well its not that
much if you want to contribute you can
pay the tip".
This whole thing came from a "non-needy" place,
I really didn't want to disrespect her by paying
for her company. My issue with this is that
when my friend who set us up called me
this morning, she says that the only issue
she had was that i had her pay the tip or
put money in! What the hack happened
there!!?? Let me also mention that this is
not stopping her from seeing me again but
I also know this wasn't ME -
How do I correct this? I obviously wont go
on a second date and start paying for everything
JUST because i got a bad feedback...so how do
I take this little mistake (or is it a mistake) and
make it a home run?
Feel free to post this on your newsletter.
Dan T, Chicago.
***MY RESPONSE***
Great letter! This is a good question and there's
a good answer. I can 99% bet that this whole issue
is really NOTHING, but the thing is that since
you want to make sure you don't get taken
advantage of, there was some tension in your
body language and delivery when you made
the comment about how the waitress leaves it
on your side. And in fact, the whole comment
probably itself was triggered by thinking about
the whole "women paying their share" issue.
So the truth is, it sounds like everything went fine,
she even offered to pay, but the bottom line is that
when it comes to dating, many, many women,
even some of the good ones, really do expect the
guy to show that he will pay.
The way to avoid all this is not to go to expensive
places on first dates. It's actually sensible anyway,
to get to know a woman first in a low key
environment so that you can have a relaxed
conversation where you are both being yourselves
and getting to know each other rather than
feeling a bit more of the formal vibes of a
dinner date.
So the key is if you do go to a restaurant on a
first date, then just pay, and if she offers, say thanks,
but don't actually bite the bait and let her pay.
Now, the thing with me is that I don't want
to invest money in a woman I have no idea
I'm really interested in, so I won't go to a
restaurant with a new woman. I'll just go for
a Starbucks, etc. Once I know her, and I like
her, then it's cool to go to a restaurant, and after
a few times of going out, if she is a good woman,
she will offer to pay, or at least to pay some of the
time, i.e. proportionate to her income, etc.
So the best thing is to avoid big money dates on
those first few dates, and more importantly
to realize that the whole issue came about
because of wanting to prevent pain- and
truly understand that as I went through
absolute hell with a few women, and for a
while I thought that all women were like
that, but then I realized that this had created
a false picture of reality, and it had created
an insecurity that was ruining it now for
all the GREAT quality women who were
beautiful both inside and out.
Insecurity is the devil, and the key is to learn
how to keep our interactions, and our mind,
clean of this devilish enemy within our selves.
That's why playfully teasing a woman must
never be about trying to make her feel bad,
rather it should be about you conveying
that you are SUPER COMFORTABLE
with her and that you feel like a million
bucks about yourself.
And if you are reading this right now and
would like to get the kind of results like
the guys in my bootcamps who have
women suggesting FIRST that they
should meet up again for drinks or
coffee, then I suggest you sign up for
my bootcamp as well.
Bootcamp is where it all goes down FOR REAL.
I will examine your skills and take them to
Highest level as fast as humanly possible,
I'll correct your mistakes immediately and
show you the RIGHT things to do, and
even how to train your MIND to think
and feel the way you were BORN
to feel, with TOTAL CONFIDENCE,
charisma, and empowerment.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And of course, if you haven't yet read my book,
do that IMMEDIATELY at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
To take advantage of ALL my materials, including
LIVE personal consultations, go to:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
a woman for the first time are actually
your moments of GREATEST OPPORTUNITY,
because you are starting with a clean slate.
Unfortunately, though, most guys DESTROY
this massive opportunity by doing all the
wrong things, and creating the wrong
first impression.
But right now, you are going to get some
MASSIVE pointers so you can not only make
a great impression, but even get a woman to
be asking YOU out before the conversation
is done.
This actually happens with the guys in my
bootcamps quite often, the woman actually is
so attracted that she is the FIRST ONE to
suggest they should meet for coffee or
a drink!
That's the advantage of bootcamp, because I
can actually be right there to see what you
are doing and I can diagnose what's wrong
and fix it IMMEDIATELY.
The first thing that you need to do in an
interaction is HOOK a woman's interest
as fast as possible. This doesn't mean
that you have to be some super clown
or some super hero, but you do have
to establish that you have a vibrant
personality. In other words, she has
to FEEL compelling and positive emotions
in your presence.
The way to do this is to first open up a
conversation with something NEUTRAL
so you don't seem like you are BARGING
in, but then quickly transition to something
INTERESTING or fun or playful or
intriguing.
So right now, I want you to right down
something that has happened to you since
the day you were born till today, SOMETHING
that is interesting, or funny, or compelling.
There is no way on earth that you have
NOTHING true that is funny, interesting,
intriguing or playful to say that has
happened to you or that you have seen
or experienced somehow, or at least
that you HEARD about or READ
about something that is funny or
a funny perspective on things.
Now, remember I said that the very FIRST
thing you say should not be the most
POWERFUL thing, as it can look and
seem like you are trying to hard. It's
much better to TRANSITION to the
more emotionally compelling thing.
And it's also a particularly great idea to
get a woman LAUGHING or chuckling
as part of this emotional experience.
So, for example, I might start a conversation
in a neutral manner, using the right confident,
playful, and upbeat tonality in the voice, and
say "hi there, there's been something on my
mind all day and I was wondering if I could
get your take on it" (this is the neutral part
of the conversation, it's not funny or anything,
just neutral, but it allows me a way to smoothly
transition into the emotional/playful stuff.
So she will nod, and say "sure, go ahead".
Then I will keep the pretend serious face,
and say "If you were to marry Fred Flintstone
or Barney Rubble, who would it be?"
It will take a second for it to sink into her,
and then she'll laugh and probably say
something like "Fred I suppose" and I
will say something back like "Fred???
Fred was too regular of a guy, working
9 to 5, I'm much more of a Barney guy,
this relationship here would never work
out between the two of us"
Then she might start to laugh some more,
and I'll carry on, saying "nooo seriously,
Betty Rubble was a cool woman, because
she let Barney do whatever he wanted all
day! After all, what did Barney do all
day anyway? He was in the car with
Fred, but we never saw him working!"
From HERE, I can then transition into
more REAL conversation, where I can
give a meaningful compliment to her
on something like the answer she gives
me to what kind of qualities she really
respects in a man, etc.
And at that point, I'm working on developing
a real connection with a woman, where it's
all about my listening skills and really paying
attention and helping her feel understood and
validated.
The example above is just an example,
I personally never use memorized openers
but I thought it would help give a picture
of what the conversation flow should
look like.
The point is not to tease a woman for the
sake of teasing, the whole point here is
to make a serious and powerful emotional
connection, and to actually take a woman
through a whole range of emotions, from
laughter to deeper emotional connection
as well. It's just that there is a practical
and effective way of going about this,
and that's what you need to do when
you are trying to get a chance with
a woman who is a total stranger.
And when you do this with a woman
who had not known you ever before,
she is MESMERIZED because you
have created more emotional impact
and connection with her in five minutes
than every other guy she has EVER known.
Notice that there is a range of emotions
in the example above, it starts normal
enough so as not to raise her defenses,
then evolves toward getting her laughing
which makes her now far more RECEPTIVE
to being approached and chatted to, and
then works on getting into a deeper level
of connection- because before you can
go into a deep connection you need to
have some lighter stuff first.
Here are some other important tips:
IF YOU'RE SHY, THEN STAND CLOSER
I say this because if you're shy, chances are
you are standing too far away from her.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHOW INTEREST
Too many guys are trying to spare any form of
rejection and trying to make sure they don't
ruin things - so they don't show ANY real
interest in the woman. Yet, the woman knows
anyway from all sorts of things in your body
language, and it's better to be confident
about showing your interest in a woman
rather than fearing what the reaction will
be- HOWEVER the thing is that your
interest in her MUST be coming from
a place of CONFIDENCE, not desperation.
This makes all the difference in the world.
It's okay to LIKE a woman, it's just not cool
to be needy for her. And the truth is, neediness
really has nothing to do with how "great" a
woman is, it has to do with your own perception
of yourself, which is a huge part of the "inner
game" dimension that I teach as well.
BE MORE FLIRTATIOUS
Don't be afraid to give her a sexual look,
or to be more playful, you have to make
it clear that this IS indeed as verbal foreplay
to other things.
Again, failure to do this is also often traced
to inner game issues, which gets me to my
next point:
INTERPRET EVERYTHING AS A COMPLIMENT
Insecurity is the devil. Insecurity is evil.
Insecurity is the source of all problems.
So, the opposite is true as well, even if it starts
with you FORCING yourself to behave this
new way.
If a woman says something to you and you're
not sure if it was a sign of interest in you, just
interpret it as if it is.
If a woman says something to you and you're
not sure if it is an insult or a compliment, interpret
it as a compliment.
It's AMAZING to me when I see in person how
often women are giving a guy HUGE SIGNALS
of interest, and the guy is not picking up on it.
I will often signal to a guy that he already
HAS the woman in DEEP, she is really,
really into him, yet for some reason he
feels that maybe she isn't into him enough
for him to ask for her number or email, etc.
So I will give the hidden signal to him to go
for it when I KNOW it's clear, and then the
woman will HAPPILY not only give her contact
info to the guy, but actually TELL him to
call him!
So often, we are our own worst enemies,
and we need to learn how to overcome
OURSELVES, not anything that women
are doing to us.
So, to overcome this, take BABY STEPS,
but KEEP ON PROGRESSING. So for
example, start with making EYE CONTACT
with women, then go to playfully teasing,
then go to approaching GROUPS of women,
then go to approaching women in the
craziest of places like busy subway
stations or lingerie stores, learn to
EMBRACE the challenge and THRIVE
off of it!
The human mind and human emotions are
INFINITELY powerful, they just need to
be STIMULATED, and once you start to
train them, you will see there is no limit
to what you can do, and nowhere is this
more impressive than with attracting
the best quality women on the planet.
Let me also give an example here of
inner game-
Hope your weekend went well...I was on
this date last night with a very pretty and
smart girl and things are going well (actually
very very well). I couldn't believe it was
flowing that smoothly (of course thanks
to your training) but I also knew the true
test will come when the bill arrives - you
teach us that when on a first or second date
and the bill comes we should split it or at
least not making her feel cheap and.
So the bill comes and i made a funny comment
to the waitress on how funny it is that she
puts the bill on my side of the table, then
my date looks at the bill and says "Let me put
some money in" so I said "well its not that
much if you want to contribute you can
pay the tip".
This whole thing came from a "non-needy" place,
I really didn't want to disrespect her by paying
for her company. My issue with this is that
when my friend who set us up called me
this morning, she says that the only issue
she had was that i had her pay the tip or
put money in! What the hack happened
there!!?? Let me also mention that this is
not stopping her from seeing me again but
I also know this wasn't ME -
How do I correct this? I obviously wont go
on a second date and start paying for everything
JUST because i got a bad feedback...so how do
I take this little mistake (or is it a mistake) and
make it a home run?
Feel free to post this on your newsletter.
Dan T, Chicago.
***MY RESPONSE***
Great letter! This is a good question and there's
a good answer. I can 99% bet that this whole issue
is really NOTHING, but the thing is that since
you want to make sure you don't get taken
advantage of, there was some tension in your
body language and delivery when you made
the comment about how the waitress leaves it
on your side. And in fact, the whole comment
probably itself was triggered by thinking about
the whole "women paying their share" issue.
So the truth is, it sounds like everything went fine,
she even offered to pay, but the bottom line is that
when it comes to dating, many, many women,
even some of the good ones, really do expect the
guy to show that he will pay.
The way to avoid all this is not to go to expensive
places on first dates. It's actually sensible anyway,
to get to know a woman first in a low key
environment so that you can have a relaxed
conversation where you are both being yourselves
and getting to know each other rather than
feeling a bit more of the formal vibes of a
dinner date.
So the key is if you do go to a restaurant on a
first date, then just pay, and if she offers, say thanks,
but don't actually bite the bait and let her pay.
Now, the thing with me is that I don't want
to invest money in a woman I have no idea
I'm really interested in, so I won't go to a
restaurant with a new woman. I'll just go for
a Starbucks, etc. Once I know her, and I like
her, then it's cool to go to a restaurant, and after
a few times of going out, if she is a good woman,
she will offer to pay, or at least to pay some of the
time, i.e. proportionate to her income, etc.
So the best thing is to avoid big money dates on
those first few dates, and more importantly
to realize that the whole issue came about
because of wanting to prevent pain- and
truly understand that as I went through
absolute hell with a few women, and for a
while I thought that all women were like
that, but then I realized that this had created
a false picture of reality, and it had created
an insecurity that was ruining it now for
all the GREAT quality women who were
beautiful both inside and out.
Insecurity is the devil, and the key is to learn
how to keep our interactions, and our mind,
clean of this devilish enemy within our selves.
That's why playfully teasing a woman must
never be about trying to make her feel bad,
rather it should be about you conveying
that you are SUPER COMFORTABLE
with her and that you feel like a million
bucks about yourself.
And if you are reading this right now and
would like to get the kind of results like
the guys in my bootcamps who have
women suggesting FIRST that they
should meet up again for drinks or
coffee, then I suggest you sign up for
my bootcamp as well.
Bootcamp is where it all goes down FOR REAL.
I will examine your skills and take them to
Highest level as fast as humanly possible,
I'll correct your mistakes immediately and
show you the RIGHT things to do, and
even how to train your MIND to think
and feel the way you were BORN
to feel, with TOTAL CONFIDENCE,
charisma, and empowerment.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And of course, if you haven't yet read my book,
do that IMMEDIATELY at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
To take advantage of ALL my materials, including
LIVE personal consultations, go to:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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