In a world of confusion and lies, I would
like to spread some TRUTH when it comes
to attracting women. I’m on a break right
now, so I only have a few minutes before
I have to get back to the real thing, so
this is going to be “short and sweet” today.
Have you ever heard women say they like
a guy who is FUNNY?
This is one of those things you have to be
careful of, because there are plenty of guys
who are funny that don’t seem to get the
women, but then again there are other
guys who are funny who seem to get
incredible women.
So allow me to explain what is going on.
Humor can be used to convey different things.
For example, it can be used to convey
CONFIDENCE.
If a woman asks you about where you live,
or what you do, and you can tell she is asking
it just to make conversation and not because
it really is a serious question, or if you can
tell how most guys try so hard to qualify
themselves and try to impress women
with their answers, you can instead say
something like:
“I live in a cardboard box and I am very
ambitious, as I plan to move into a huge
cardboard box as soon as I get one from
someone throwing out their cardboard box for
a big-screen TV.”
So you are being funny and you are simultaneously
showing you don’t feel a need to qualify yourself,
so you are showing confidence.
At the same time, humor of ANY sort can be
powerful when you are trying to break through
the barriers of being a TOTAL STRANGER when
you see a woman out in public somewhere that
you would like to meet.
If you can get a woman LAUGHING, you
OVER-RIDE the part of her brain that plays
the TOO-CAUTIOUS role and in general works
to shut DOWN the guys who approach her.
But since you got her LAUGHING, she
can’t help but feel DIFFERENTLY and
feel more POSITIVE about this whole
situation.
So humor does not always have to be about
ATTRACTION or even CONFIDENCE in
order to be of MASSIVE VALUE when
meeting and approaching women, especially
women who are total strangers.
It sure helps if you can get a woman RELAXED
when you are approaching her.
Studies have shown that it is hard to NOT LIKE
someone who had just made you laugh three times.
A lot of men worry about coming across in some
creepy way to women. Well, one SIMPLE answer
to this problem is to get her laughing, because if
she is laughing, she SIMPLY CANNOT HELP
BUT FEEL MORE POSITIVE ABOUT YOU.
So now, at that point, you can NOW unleash
ALL of your skills that you have learned on
attracting women, because she is now OPEN
to the DISCUSSION with you.
So humor can OPEN THE DOORS for you
to allow you to work your magic.
By the way, there's one last element
regarding humor that I didn't mention
here, that is in a way the most
IMPORTANT of all, and it is something
that just about all women realize:
Powerful humor also conveys INTELLIGENCE.
So, in a world where so many men seem to
only be able to whistle cat-calls at women,
and who seem to only have the one-dimension
of being interested in the physical, it
is EXTREMELY POWERFUL to be able to CONVEY
to women that in addition to having a
PHYSICAL INTEREST IN HER (which she
already knows if she is attractive),
you also have
OTHER ELEMENTS TO YOUR PERSONALITY,
including INTELLIGENCE.
Intelligence is one of those things that
you don't want to convey in a dry CEREBRAL
way, but rather in a JUICY EMOTIONAL WAY.
And powerful humor allows you to do
exactly that- it PROVES your intelligence
and it does it without sounding BORING
and without sounding as if you are insecure
and have to explain it directly.
INDIRECT and EMOTIONAL is the way to
CONVEY what you want to convey, and
HUMOR conveys intelligence in an
INDIRECT and EMOTIONAL way.
What you have just read here, as POWERFUL
as it is, is just a GLIMPSE into a whole other
UNIVERSE of awesome results you can have
with women. I suggest you launch yourself
into the HEART of this incredible universe
of success with women by getting my
ATTRACTION MASTERY PROGRAM
immediately.
I’ve also made this program EASIER for you
to get than EVER. It took me a while to set up
the technical stuff to do this, but you can now
get this important program for success with
women with four easy monthly installments,
AND you can download the ENTIRE massive
program to your computer or mobile device
RIGHT AWAY and being using it in MINUTES
from now!
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Showing posts with label attraction mastery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attraction mastery. Show all posts
Monday, August 25, 2014
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Creating Attraction From SCRATCH
What you're about to read is
pure GOLD, so make sure you're
ready to fully digest this one.
The one thing everyone wants more of
is this thing known as “feeling good”.
The other thing that is pretty
INFINITE is the human want for
sexual things.
No one gets enough of those two things,
and anyone that can GIVE IT rules the world.
They really both fall under the
basic category of "feeling good";
they both boil down to the release
of endorphins into the bloodstream.
It’s the reason the ENTERTAINMENT
industry is a billion dollar industry.
And obviously, things like COCAINE.
It's all about FEELING AWESOME.
People will do anything to feel
awesome, unfortunately some people
even resort to drugs that will
DESTROY them.
Ask someone if they remember five
things they learned in college and
they’ll usually STRUGGLE and FAIL
to give you an INSTANT answer, but
ask them the last name of a singer
name Britney, and you’ll get INSTANT
answers.
Same thing if you ask the name of
the band called The Rolling ______ .
Now, when it comes to attracting a woman,
most guys tend to approach women and
they try to IMPRESS her by listing cool
things about themselves, or by sounding
important, etc.
None of this really fires off the FEELING
GOOD chemicals in her system, none of this
fires off ENDORPHINS.
And this is especially true when a woman
is particularly attractive and has seen it
all before.
The worst sin is feeling needy, that actual
FEELING of insecurity and neediness is
a huge problem in itself, because it
makes it impossible for you to give
off the right vibes.
Neediness and insecurity are the
ANTI-ENDORPHINS. They SUCK OUT
the fun vibes from surrounding
human beings. They REPEL women.
So if you are feeling needy, the first thing
I must tell you is to SMACK YOURSELF
SILLY and not BEHAVE that way at least
when you are approaching and chatting up
a woman.
If you are feeling needy, at least don’t
ACT upon that neediness.
This is the difference between a compliment
you give to a woman that comes from your
confidence and the kind of compliment
you give to a woman that comes from
feeling like, “Oh my god I better give her
a compliment and let her know my entire
emotions are at risk on whether she likes
me or not”.
So, for example, a compliment given
from CONFIDENCE might take the
following form:
Let’s say you’re at a supermarket, and
there’s a striking woman checking out
the cookies section. So you roll up
to her, and you give her this serious
look, instead of this big toothy smile
that would look like you’re a puddle
of wuss, that is totally needy for her.
So you give her this look, fake serious,
(which will make the humor have more
impact coming up, and this is important
because you don’t want to let on that
a joke is coming or you ruin the whole
thing) and you say:
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Say it almost accusingly, as if she’s in
TROUBLE for something.
Don’t go psycho, just say it with a bit
of a, “You’re in trouble” kind of vibe
to your voice.
Then, she’ll say something like
“What do you mean?” and she’ll be
all serious.
Then you can say, “Well, you shouldn’t
be here. There are no attractive women
in this area. Not for at least 40 miles,
you shouldn’t be here, it’s not allowed.”
Now, remember, you say this all with
a mock serious face, which has way
more impact, because it takes her a
sec for her to get it, she won’t see
it coming.
Now, when she smiles, don’t start
smiling and laughing, that will ruin it.
KEEP ON ACTING TOTALLY
STRAIGHT FORWARD.
“Yeah, it’s dangerous in fact, you
shouldn’t even be here. Seriously.”
Now, at this point, and it’s just a
beginning, you’re at least showing:
A SENSE OF FUN.
GUTS.
AND YOU’RE NOT ALL SMILEY,
TOOTHY, KISSING UP, IN TERMS
OF YOUR EXPRESSION ON YOUR
FACE AND TONALITY OF VOICE
This is a huge thing, by the way,
because by having the serious
expression and tonality, you
can get away with giving a
HUGE compliment that basically
is saying she is very attractive,
without at all seeming like you’re
weak in the knees for her and
all needy.
But it’s not over yet, there’s more.
This is just an OPENING here.
You must COOK this interaction till it’s
really heated UP.
So for example, at this point, you
could say, “Hi, I’m Joe" (or whatever your name is)
and extend your hand, and she will likely
do the same and tell you her name.
Give a firm handshake and solid
eye contact as you do this.
Then, time for some more fun:
For example, now that you’re both
in front of the cookies, you can say:
“You can tell a lot about a person
from what kind of junk food they
like. In your case, you love chocolate
cookies, and chocolate is sinful,
so you’re the kind of person that
really is going to enjoy life and
the kind of people that are definitely
going to party in hell, that’s my
type for sure.”
There are subtle undertones to all this.
The idea of being naughty and having
fun and being sinful, is giving her
permission to relax, and yet it’s
all being done in such an INNOCENT
way here, after all, we’re talking
COOKIES here!
Something like this is guaranteed to
get her responding, and agreeing, and
you want to be building a "YES ladder"
as soon as possible, the more things
she is truly saying YES to the better.
Now, I give this example on purpose
because you don’t have to be a party
animal to do this, you don’t have to
hang out at nightclubs, you don’t
have to even go outside your normal
environment, EVERYONE needs
to go basic shopping.
You can turn up the ante even more,
so for example, as you and her are
chatting, and reaching the checkout
aisle, you can tell the clerk that
this woman has been STALKING you
the entire time, and thank God that
now finally someone is here to see it,
to save you from the harassment
of this woman.
She’s going to smile at this, plus she’s
going to love the fact you are so not
needy for her, so confident, that you
are FOR SURE not going to be like
all the other guys she has met that
were so needy for her, that had no
MASCULINITY left, they gave
all their ‘mojo’ away to her,
while YOU have it in SPADES.
Now, remember, this is all coming from
a place of CONFIDENCE, not maliciousness,
and not insecurity, there is a fine, yet supremely
important difference between these things.
There are endless things you can
playfully tease her on as well, even
at the checkout counter. For example,
let’s say you need bags and she has
her own environmentally friendly bag.
So you can pretend you are the evil
corporate guy and she is the hippie
saving the world, and that you’re
far too evil for a girl like her, (which
is again the opposite of most guys
trying to convince her of why they
are the right guy for her, out of neediness).
Then, let’s say she ends up needing one
extra bag so she needs an actual plastic
bag and has to buy one, (which is pretty
common because often we don’t perfectly
estimate how much stuff we’re going
to have), so then you can playfully
comment that you are already having
an evil influence on her, turning her
to your evil ways.
So, during this interaction she has had with
you, she has seen that you are gutsy, you
are funny, you are not afraid to give a
compliment, you are spontaneous, you
are social, and that you understand
the magical thing called “sexual tension”
and how to create it.
Most men have no clue what this even
is, and why women want it so badly.
And you will have done this all in
a very BRIEF amount of time, which
is all the more cool.
At THIS point, you can do whatever
you want, you can chat with her some
more, you can take her number, the
point is that you have TRIGGERED
HER EMOTIONS and shown that
you are a man in the right way.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
This material runs DEEP. It's about
the most PRIMAL elements of how women
respond to men that GIVE OFF THE
"SURVIVAL" VIBES.
The things I described above are
MANIFESTATIONS of the traits of
MEN WHO SURVIVE, and therefore
ignite ATTRACTION in her on
a primal, sexual, level.
If you’d like to get the complete
ADVANCED TRAINING on igniting a
woman's raw animal attraction for
you, I seriously suggest you get my
"Attraction Mastery Program"at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
This program contains 12 HOURS of
cream-of-the-crop advanced insights
into what ANY MAN can do to ignite
a woman's raw physical attraction
for him.
And if haven’t yet downloaded my
original book, “The Dating Wizard”,
then do that immediately at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
This book is the very FIRST
thing every man needs to get
when it comes to women. It sets
down the foundation on which
all my more advanced programs
build upon.
Till next time,
Michael Marks
pure GOLD, so make sure you're
ready to fully digest this one.
The one thing everyone wants more of
is this thing known as “feeling good”.
The other thing that is pretty
INFINITE is the human want for
sexual things.
No one gets enough of those two things,
and anyone that can GIVE IT rules the world.
They really both fall under the
basic category of "feeling good";
they both boil down to the release
of endorphins into the bloodstream.
It’s the reason the ENTERTAINMENT
industry is a billion dollar industry.
And obviously, things like COCAINE.
It's all about FEELING AWESOME.
People will do anything to feel
awesome, unfortunately some people
even resort to drugs that will
DESTROY them.
Ask someone if they remember five
things they learned in college and
they’ll usually STRUGGLE and FAIL
to give you an INSTANT answer, but
ask them the last name of a singer
name Britney, and you’ll get INSTANT
answers.
Same thing if you ask the name of
the band called The Rolling ______ .
Now, when it comes to attracting a woman,
most guys tend to approach women and
they try to IMPRESS her by listing cool
things about themselves, or by sounding
important, etc.
None of this really fires off the FEELING
GOOD chemicals in her system, none of this
fires off ENDORPHINS.
And this is especially true when a woman
is particularly attractive and has seen it
all before.
The worst sin is feeling needy, that actual
FEELING of insecurity and neediness is
a huge problem in itself, because it
makes it impossible for you to give
off the right vibes.
Neediness and insecurity are the
ANTI-ENDORPHINS. They SUCK OUT
the fun vibes from surrounding
human beings. They REPEL women.
So if you are feeling needy, the first thing
I must tell you is to SMACK YOURSELF
SILLY and not BEHAVE that way at least
when you are approaching and chatting up
a woman.
If you are feeling needy, at least don’t
ACT upon that neediness.
This is the difference between a compliment
you give to a woman that comes from your
confidence and the kind of compliment
you give to a woman that comes from
feeling like, “Oh my god I better give her
a compliment and let her know my entire
emotions are at risk on whether she likes
me or not”.
So, for example, a compliment given
from CONFIDENCE might take the
following form:
Let’s say you’re at a supermarket, and
there’s a striking woman checking out
the cookies section. So you roll up
to her, and you give her this serious
look, instead of this big toothy smile
that would look like you’re a puddle
of wuss, that is totally needy for her.
So you give her this look, fake serious,
(which will make the humor have more
impact coming up, and this is important
because you don’t want to let on that
a joke is coming or you ruin the whole
thing) and you say:
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Say it almost accusingly, as if she’s in
TROUBLE for something.
Don’t go psycho, just say it with a bit
of a, “You’re in trouble” kind of vibe
to your voice.
Then, she’ll say something like
“What do you mean?” and she’ll be
all serious.
Then you can say, “Well, you shouldn’t
be here. There are no attractive women
in this area. Not for at least 40 miles,
you shouldn’t be here, it’s not allowed.”
Now, remember, you say this all with
a mock serious face, which has way
more impact, because it takes her a
sec for her to get it, she won’t see
it coming.
Now, when she smiles, don’t start
smiling and laughing, that will ruin it.
KEEP ON ACTING TOTALLY
STRAIGHT FORWARD.
“Yeah, it’s dangerous in fact, you
shouldn’t even be here. Seriously.”
Now, at this point, and it’s just a
beginning, you’re at least showing:
A SENSE OF FUN.
GUTS.
AND YOU’RE NOT ALL SMILEY,
TOOTHY, KISSING UP, IN TERMS
OF YOUR EXPRESSION ON YOUR
FACE AND TONALITY OF VOICE
This is a huge thing, by the way,
because by having the serious
expression and tonality, you
can get away with giving a
HUGE compliment that basically
is saying she is very attractive,
without at all seeming like you’re
weak in the knees for her and
all needy.
But it’s not over yet, there’s more.
This is just an OPENING here.
You must COOK this interaction till it’s
really heated UP.
So for example, at this point, you
could say, “Hi, I’m Joe" (or whatever your name is)
and extend your hand, and she will likely
do the same and tell you her name.
Give a firm handshake and solid
eye contact as you do this.
Then, time for some more fun:
For example, now that you’re both
in front of the cookies, you can say:
“You can tell a lot about a person
from what kind of junk food they
like. In your case, you love chocolate
cookies, and chocolate is sinful,
so you’re the kind of person that
really is going to enjoy life and
the kind of people that are definitely
going to party in hell, that’s my
type for sure.”
There are subtle undertones to all this.
The idea of being naughty and having
fun and being sinful, is giving her
permission to relax, and yet it’s
all being done in such an INNOCENT
way here, after all, we’re talking
COOKIES here!
Something like this is guaranteed to
get her responding, and agreeing, and
you want to be building a "YES ladder"
as soon as possible, the more things
she is truly saying YES to the better.
Now, I give this example on purpose
because you don’t have to be a party
animal to do this, you don’t have to
hang out at nightclubs, you don’t
have to even go outside your normal
environment, EVERYONE needs
to go basic shopping.
You can turn up the ante even more,
so for example, as you and her are
chatting, and reaching the checkout
aisle, you can tell the clerk that
this woman has been STALKING you
the entire time, and thank God that
now finally someone is here to see it,
to save you from the harassment
of this woman.
She’s going to smile at this, plus she’s
going to love the fact you are so not
needy for her, so confident, that you
are FOR SURE not going to be like
all the other guys she has met that
were so needy for her, that had no
MASCULINITY left, they gave
all their ‘mojo’ away to her,
while YOU have it in SPADES.
Now, remember, this is all coming from
a place of CONFIDENCE, not maliciousness,
and not insecurity, there is a fine, yet supremely
important difference between these things.
There are endless things you can
playfully tease her on as well, even
at the checkout counter. For example,
let’s say you need bags and she has
her own environmentally friendly bag.
So you can pretend you are the evil
corporate guy and she is the hippie
saving the world, and that you’re
far too evil for a girl like her, (which
is again the opposite of most guys
trying to convince her of why they
are the right guy for her, out of neediness).
Then, let’s say she ends up needing one
extra bag so she needs an actual plastic
bag and has to buy one, (which is pretty
common because often we don’t perfectly
estimate how much stuff we’re going
to have), so then you can playfully
comment that you are already having
an evil influence on her, turning her
to your evil ways.
So, during this interaction she has had with
you, she has seen that you are gutsy, you
are funny, you are not afraid to give a
compliment, you are spontaneous, you
are social, and that you understand
the magical thing called “sexual tension”
and how to create it.
Most men have no clue what this even
is, and why women want it so badly.
And you will have done this all in
a very BRIEF amount of time, which
is all the more cool.
At THIS point, you can do whatever
you want, you can chat with her some
more, you can take her number, the
point is that you have TRIGGERED
HER EMOTIONS and shown that
you are a man in the right way.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
This material runs DEEP. It's about
the most PRIMAL elements of how women
respond to men that GIVE OFF THE
"SURVIVAL" VIBES.
The things I described above are
MANIFESTATIONS of the traits of
MEN WHO SURVIVE, and therefore
ignite ATTRACTION in her on
a primal, sexual, level.
If you’d like to get the complete
ADVANCED TRAINING on igniting a
woman's raw animal attraction for
you, I seriously suggest you get my
"Attraction Mastery Program"at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
This program contains 12 HOURS of
cream-of-the-crop advanced insights
into what ANY MAN can do to ignite
a woman's raw physical attraction
for him.
And if haven’t yet downloaded my
original book, “The Dating Wizard”,
then do that immediately at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
This book is the very FIRST
thing every man needs to get
when it comes to women. It sets
down the foundation on which
all my more advanced programs
build upon.
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Thursday, August 23, 2012
The RIGHT Way To Approach Quality Women
Let's get straight to the heart of the
matter regarding what is the RIGHT way
to approach a quality woman:
Email From A Reader:
"Hey Michael,
I know you're not a big fan of the nightclubs
for meeting a quality woman, but I think you'll
agree that what I have to say only proves your
point even more. All I can say is that I wish
I had your materials before this disaster went
down:
So this past weekend my buddies and I went
down to the club and near closing time, up
beside me comes this pretty little number that
I was chatting up inside with her friends and
just being playful in that innocent way you
describe. Let me backtrack on what happened
inside the club a bit-
I started the convo with some stuff that I took
directly from your book- telling her that the only
reason I was talking to her was because she
reminded me of Barney Rubble's wife-Betty,
from the Flintstones! And that she was so much
cooler than Wilma because Barney never had a
real job and that it was cool by her! She was
eating it all up, and then on top of that I
told her that if she was a good girl, I might
take her out for a Brontosaurus burger one
day because I know the only reason she
puts up with Barney is because she can't
cook! I had her playfully punching me in
the arm and grazing against me the whole
evening.
Everything was going great, I was following
the principles in your book and never trying
to prove how great I was or trying to get the
"upper hand", and keeping the vibe warm,
confident and playful, knowing that she could
never get insulted from a comment that the
cartoon version of herself could not cook.
And I also remembered your point in the book
about "the teasing cycle" and how important it
is to not just joke around but to naturally progress
into a real conversation to see where you share
important values in common- she's the kind of
person who appreciates life's little treasures
that most people overlook, and that's really
important to me because it means that you never
take life for granted.
But here's the thing, I refused to believe that
this was actually working because of what
you had taught, I kept thinking that it was actually
happening in SPITE of what you taught. After all,
this girl was gorgeous, and I mean head to toe,
and I started to let the fear creep in, that I needed
to show her that I wasn't kissing up to her. I started
to think that the reason for my success so far was
that I had the "player vibe" about me.
So let me fast forward - I decided to talk to
some other girls just to make sure that she
knew I wasn't desperate for her, and that this
would get her to chase me even harder.
Well, when I did that, she had this confused,
disappointed look on her face when I told her
I had to talk to some other friends, but she said
okay and then I never heard from her for the rest
of the night!
But I felt like since she wasn't chasing me, that
it would be even worse now if I came running
back to her. And I wasn't interested in any of
the other girls as much.
Anyway, the thing was that on my way out
of the club around closing time with my buddies,
I see her roll up beside me, her girlfriends not
far away, and she remembers our convo, saying
to me "How about that Brontosauraus burger?"
Michael, my heart was pounding, I wasn't sure
if she was joking or serious that she wanted to
join me, so I said, "sure Betty, but remember
I expect you to clean the house!" And then
I find myself with this knockout walking
beside me and my friends suddenly in luck
as her girlfriends are now talking to my
buddies.
We reach the burger joint, and I'm feeling
so much pressure and conflicting thoughts.
I'm thinking "Is this girl trying to use me
to buy her food? I'm not going to be abused
by those tricks just because she's got the
looks" and my mind just keeps thinking
worse and worse and worse thoughts about
her, that this is all just another way for her
to use men for a free meal or something.
And then it happens- we reach the cash
register, and I blurt out "I don't believe
in prostitution" to which she seems
really confused (of course, I totally get
it and understand why now). So I then
make it even worse by explaining
it all to her, telling her that women use
men all the time, and she starts to feel
defensive, telling me that I have some
issues against women, which makes me
even angrier, and now the whole vibe
is going to hell. And in my gut, I knew
I was destroying the whole thing, but
somehow I felt that otherwise, if I didn't
"show her that I was tough" she would
eventually take advantage of me.
The crazy thing Michael, is that I don't
even know she wasn't going to pay! It's
possible she would have. The whole
argument though made me seem petty
and before I knew it she was hailing a
cab and high-tailing out of there, gone
forever. And the other thing that drove
me nuts is that I realize looking back
that I actually showed weakness, not
toughness at all, but being so petty.
I was so pissed off about the whole thing,
I couldn't sleep all night. All I could think
about was how I let this fantastic creature slip
through my fingers, and how I had committed
an error so clearly explained in your book-
I had allowed black and white thinking to
let me turn a little question about this woman
into an indictment on her, and sentencing
her to the verdict of being guilty, all
because I could not take the uncertainty
of the pressure in that situation.
I took a perfectly good woman and turned her
into some type of threat that didn't exist."
Daniel T.,
Houston, Texas
My Comments:
First of all, thank you for the huge props
for my book and for your honesty. A lot
of the lessons in my book come from years
of misery and mistakes and from listening
to the advice of some really, really wise
people that I had the good fortune of
meeting.
Regarding the emotions you were feeling
when things were going well, I understand
them, as I used to make the same mistakes.
What happens is that we want to protect
ourselves, and we start to focus on how to
protect ourselves from the bad stuff, from
the pain, rather than focus on how to get to
the good stuff. So we become obsessed
with preventing pain- we focus on pain
avoidance.
That type of attitude feeds images in our mind
of all types of horrible things, we start to think of
all the times we had bad experiences with
women, we start to think of all the horrible
possibilities, so we then revert to INSECURE
behavior.
So for example, how much does a burger
cost? Five bucks? It's trivial, unless the
woman gives you reason to believe she
is not respecting you in general. And
it's very possible she would have paid
it anyway, like you said.
The whole thing reminds me of something
that Wayner Dyer once articulated:
"All of us are like oranges. And just like
the only thing that comes out of oranges
under pressure is orange juice, the only
thing that pressure can bring out in you
is what's already there- you can't blame
some external source for what's bringing
it out in you".
So in other words, it's not that girl that was
making you feel all those horrible emotions,
those fears and insecurities were already there
inside, most likely made much WORSE by the
horrific advice out there, and SHE simply
created the moment of what you felt was the
"squeeze", even though this squeeze or pressure
was actually the product of something GOOD-
i.e. SHE LIKED YOU.
So the key is to realize that as soon as you
catch yourself wanting to give in to insecurities
you can always follow the principle of the
24 hour rule- don't react to the negative feelings
inside of you at the moment, you can always
do it 24 hours later- and guess what? 24 hours
later you almost ALWAYS realize there was
nothing to react to in the first place, and it
would have just made you seem insecure,
needy, and uncool.
The best part of this 24 hour training rule,
is that it actually MAKES YOU MORE SECURE
in the first place, it trains your mind and emotions
to not give in to fears.
The more you follow this 24 hour rule, the
FASTER you will see the truth about the
situation, the faster you will see that it
was actually a toxic negative emotion-
you'll start to get over these things
INSTANTLY. It won't take 24 hours
anymore.
Another good rule of thumb to remember
is that if you are feeling any type of EXTREME
reactionary feeling when a woman does
something, it's probably not an accurate
emotion, and certainly it's a mistake to
base your behavior on that extreme emotion.
The great thing though about this situation
is that you LEARNED from it.
It sounds like all you have to do is just
get back out there meeting women, and stick
to what you learn in my programs.
I look forward to hearing from you again.
Next Letter:
"Master Mike!!!
Do you realize what power you are giving guys?
I got your book almost two weeks ago, and couldn't
put it down once I started. And then my damn work
schedule kicked in- I've been really busy with work
lately, even working weekends, (I work in IT and
often have to be on call) but I made sure to read
your book during every break I had. And then this
past Friday I got the chance to leave work early
and that's when I had the opportunity to put your
stuff to the test:
I decided to relax and visit the bookstore on my way
home- as soon as I entered, I almost lost my breath
as I saw this gorgeous curly brunette, athletic looking,
in the section of the store selling gift-wrap.
Now, normally in the past, I would just stand there
and watch, tormenting myself on what to do. But
after reading your book, I realized what my pattern
always was - I would picture the absolute worse scenario
which to me was the idea of everyone looking at
me thinking I was a fool, or the idea of her thinking
to herself "why is this guy bothering me, I hate
it!"
It's amazing, that I never even realized I had this
pattern, and so I could never stop it, and I could never
stop the automatic feelings of indignity that followed.
And your book made me realize not only my pattern,
but also how I unconsciously was allowing this pattern
to create a guaranteed "failure to take action" response
every time, because I would let the pattern of thoughts
keep going and growing, and my conditioned response
to that was to prevent a disaster by not talking to her.
Of course, as you explain in your book, that never
really worked for long to make me feel any more secure,
it just gave me that momentary escape and relief from
having to take action, and the next time I would see
a woman the fear would be even worse, since I had
never had to actually stare it down.
This time, though, I was ready. I was ready with your
strategy- for the first time, I knew that any excuse I
would give myself would not only not bring me any
closer to this woman, but I also knew from your book
that in fact if I did not take action, I was actually
making it even harder for my emotions and brain
to take action in the future.
I made the decision that all the pain in the world
from her potential reaction was still better than a
life of fearing her reaction and never approaching
women.
So I went over to her and followed your advice
of not trying to be "mr. gangsta". Instead, I
focused on injecting some dominance, upbeatness,
and sensuality in my voice and gave her the
chance to "come into my world" as you say.
And I observed the situation so that what I
could say would be connected to the situation.
So instead of the put downs and arrogance,
I decided to genuinely give her some of the
infinite abundance of "good vibes" that I
have - and told her that someone who's thinking
that hard of the right wrapping paper must have
a really good friend! And I really said it with
a confident feeling, because I knew I was not
kissing up, I was genuinely complimenting
her on something that I thought was a sign
of her own goodness.
She seemed a bit surprised, I guess she didn't
realize I was right there, but she turned around
and gave me a warm smile and told me that she
was going to a friend's birthday and then I
couldn't even make out what she was saying
because my heart was pounding so hard and
all I could do was see her lips, her gorgeous
face.
I wanted to just say thanks and leave so badly,
because it felt so good to not have this thing
crash, but I knew that would be the wrong thing.
I managed to make out a few words that she
was saying, something about "she's a good friend"
and "helped her so much with rides to work"
so I just kept on sharing the vibe and actually
making a connection because I also really
value great and deep friendship, and I started
telling her that we are lucky if we have even
one great friend, and how what is the whole
point of life if we are just to enjoy it alone.
And that's when even though my heart was
still beating like crazy, I felt myself knowing
that this woman was enjoying being with me,
and it felt like a ton of bricks was being lifted
off my shoulder. Feeling that good, I started
to unleash the playful stuff, I knew it would
be interpreted right because it was coming
from a place inside of me that was real,
and because I knew she would know that
I meant it with love and not anger.
So I told her, "you know, we're having
a pretty good conversation here, and it's
all without being mean, nasty, or vulgar.
It's kinda nice, isn't it?" And she laughed
and said yes it was, and then she wanted
to know if I did this to "all the women in
the bookstore".
In the past, this would have been a major
catastrophe, as if I was "found out" and had
to cover my moves.
But now, after reading your book, I just
realized that women, especially a great woman
looking for quality connection with a man,
wants to know what type of guy she is dealing
with. This is a good thing in reality, otherwise
it would mean that no women had any standards.
So I was honest and secure, I told her calmly
that I didn't, but that we'd both be lucky if we
were to have these kinds of convos every day,
to which she of course agreed.
Man, Michael, this whole interaction was
beautiful, man. You really mean it when you
say that it's up to us to bring out the best
in a woman.
I got her number and when I called her on
Saturday afternoon, she didn't avoid the call
or play games, we spent 15 minutes on the
phone, and we're supposed to meet for coffee
this week.
Thank you man!!! This really is the stronger
way, the way of the truly confident, classy,
Man, and not the games of a boy who thinks
in terms of insecure, immature notions and
thinks of making love as "scoring" and whose
concept of interacting on a deep level with a
woman is either putting her down, acting
arrogant, or on the other extreme, kissing up
to her with superficial compliments.
You'll be hearing from me this week for a
consultation, because I want to ace this!"
Matthew S., New York.
My Comments:
There's nothing like seeing guys who have
taken the words I have written down and truly
GET IT and are putting it into action. When
you really get it, you start to see results
IMMEDIATELY.
One key point I want to emphasize is the idea
that I teach that you applied brilliantly- and that
is the idea of bringing out the BEST in a woman.
This is the RIGHT way to approach a quality woman.
By leading the interaction from the very
beginning in a morally strong way, you led
the pathway to only lead to good places.
You started by talking about friendships,
and valuing them, and not about how men
and women cheat and who cheats more
or other negative stuff that some people
like to pretend are "cool".
In reality, no one thinks those things are
cool, but many men and women don't want to
appear uncool by being the one to stand up
against it. And yet, the very fact that you
STAND OUT as DIFFERENT from the
outset actually shows that you have more
courage.
This stuff is massively important, as the
reality is that the pain of other people is
never a joke, and when try to be cool by
appealing to that type of conversation
and gossip, you are destroying the fabric
of the interaction in terms of having
a foundation of trust. So even if the
woman does talk to you, she is in the
back of her mind feeling uneasy, and
sooner or later the whole thing falls
to pieces.
Without trust, what happens a few days or
weeks or months down the line, the woman
kicks the guy to the curb because she
resents his attitude.
If a woman senses she is being manipulated,
how much trust can that lead to? Without trust,
the whole thing is a fragile house of cards
that is certain to fall apart.
But what you did, was you LED the way,
you showed a totally different attitude.
This is what she REALLY WANTS and
can't find. She can either only find
pushover "nice guys" or guys who
overcompensate their insecurities
with extreme arrogance, when all she
really wants is a MAN. A man with
class and who is emotionally mature,
whose sense of what is cool does not
depend on what OTHERS think, no
matter HOW much the TV might try
to change his attitude.
Next Email:
"Hey Michael,
There's this girl that I met and I'm wondering
what to do. We went out once so far.
The first time we went out for coffee, and
I tried to keep the conversation light and relaxed,
but her cell phone rang three different times, and
she also noticed some guy inside at the coffee
shop she recognized and she went right over
to him and gave him a hug and I just felt the
whole thing was too much for me so I just
told her that I had to meet some friends and
cut the date short.
Now, here's my question, I read a lot of
dating guru advice and they all seem to say that
I should not have made a big deal to show
that it bothered me, and others say that I
should have ignored it and kept on escalating
the interaction and tried to take her home if
I could, and that once I slept with her, it
would make her treat me very differently.
The thing is though that even in the
conversation, it was a bit strange, I was
telling her that I could tell a lot about a
person from the way they talk about
things, and she said to me that she
can tell a lot about a guy's personality
from the way he is having sex with
her.
This whole thing seemed bizarre to
me. Was this woman testing me? Was
the way she went over to the guy to hug
him some kind of test?
Can you clear any of this up????"
Kevin R., Miami
My Reply:
Trust me, this woman has SERIOUS issues
and is the kind of person who will MESS
with your head big-time.
If you want to make your life miserable
from the hell this woman will unleash
on your life, then go right ahead and
"keep escalating" toward the physical.
Let me tell you the REALITY:
You should run like hell away from this woman,
and most likely this woman has had her own
heart torn to shreds and is now out taking
vengeance out on all kinds of innocent men
like you. She is hurting and needs guidance,
but it is not YOUR job to be HER therapist.
Trying to make her a decent person can take
you FOREVER, when meanwhile a FANTASTIC
woman is probably within a few MINUTES of
where you are RIGHT now, and you could
be enjoying life with THAT quality woman
instead.
The first red flag was when her cell phone went
off repeatedly while she was out on the date with
you. The fact it happened repeatedly is already
not good. The fact that she clearly did not make
a serious effort to APOLOGIZE for it just shows
how not serious she is, and shows how she is
simply playing around and seeing how far
she can push.
But don't think of this as a "test", she is not
testing anything any more than a bully tests a
victim. i.e. Yeah, it might be a test, but the only
way to WIN this test is to ERADICATE her from
your life, before you allow her to poison your
image of all women, including all the women
with fantastic morals, high self-esteem, and
integrity who are out there.
Think of this test as actually a woman showing
you her TRUE COLORS and so she is actually
FAILING a test- she is failing YOUR test of
a quality woman!!!!
And the answer to the question that I'm sure
is burning in your mind regarding "Would
she treat me differently if I just got
past the "sex" stage with her?" is NO.
She would NOT be different with you.
She would STILL be the same person
with the SAME attitude.
The NEXT red flag was this hug business that
she actually LEFT you to go and make sure to
do the big warm fuzzies to some dude while
out on a date to you, and again, apparently
she made NO EXPLANATION of this at all
to you.
The crazy thing, is that this would be super
obvious to you if you study my programs.
By allowing yourself to be with an abusive woman,
you actually DEGRADE your own self-esteem and you
eventually start to think that maybe you SHOULD
put up with this vile filth of messed up behavior.
Finally, you need to ALSO realize that
it's important that you DO NOT WASTE
energy on these kinds of women IF you
want a quality woman for a long term
healthy relationship: The reason is because
the only way you will have the strength
to BE the kind of man with great integrity
and with feeling secure is if you spend your
time in the company of good people.
Staying with or pursuing those with spoiled
values will only mess up your internal compass
of what is normal and what is not, and then when
you meet a GREAT woman, you will be doing
all the WRONG things. Things that might
be normal for those with inferior values, but
that are ABNORMAL for those with superior
values.
And one more thing- a great woman will want
to KNOW that you are totally clear on what YOU
want in life. She is not looking for a namby-pamby
insecure guy who is willing to buckle his own values
just for some approval from any woman with the
looks who comes his way.
It's very hard to truly mask your identity, it comes
out in tiny subtleties in your behavior and intonation
of voice and mannerisms, so if you ARE the kind
of guy that doesn't have his own values and self-esteem
together and WILL buckle under pressure and will
pursue the wrong type of woman, well then I
can assure you that a great woman will DETECT
this in you, and you will not stand a chance with
her.
On the other hand, if you are absolutely clear on
what you want, and you BECOME the kind of guy
that would never even THINK of putting up with
any woman that chips away at his self-esteem
no matter how beautiful she is, no matter how
slight that self-esteem damage is, then a great
woman will detect THIS and be far MORE
attracted to you.
If you want to get a great woman, you need
to focus on that, and not on the WRONG women
that will drain you of everything precious -
your energy, your time, and your emotions.
And I can think of no better path for you to
take than by getting my most advanced program
on how to GET and KEEP a GREAT woman.
It's called WARRIOR WITHIN, and it's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven't yet got my ATTRACTION MASTERY
program, then do that FIRST, at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
matter regarding what is the RIGHT way
to approach a quality woman:
Email From A Reader:
"Hey Michael,
I know you're not a big fan of the nightclubs
for meeting a quality woman, but I think you'll
agree that what I have to say only proves your
point even more. All I can say is that I wish
I had your materials before this disaster went
down:
So this past weekend my buddies and I went
down to the club and near closing time, up
beside me comes this pretty little number that
I was chatting up inside with her friends and
just being playful in that innocent way you
describe. Let me backtrack on what happened
inside the club a bit-
I started the convo with some stuff that I took
directly from your book- telling her that the only
reason I was talking to her was because she
reminded me of Barney Rubble's wife-Betty,
from the Flintstones! And that she was so much
cooler than Wilma because Barney never had a
real job and that it was cool by her! She was
eating it all up, and then on top of that I
told her that if she was a good girl, I might
take her out for a Brontosaurus burger one
day because I know the only reason she
puts up with Barney is because she can't
cook! I had her playfully punching me in
the arm and grazing against me the whole
evening.
Everything was going great, I was following
the principles in your book and never trying
to prove how great I was or trying to get the
"upper hand", and keeping the vibe warm,
confident and playful, knowing that she could
never get insulted from a comment that the
cartoon version of herself could not cook.
And I also remembered your point in the book
about "the teasing cycle" and how important it
is to not just joke around but to naturally progress
into a real conversation to see where you share
important values in common- she's the kind of
person who appreciates life's little treasures
that most people overlook, and that's really
important to me because it means that you never
take life for granted.
But here's the thing, I refused to believe that
this was actually working because of what
you had taught, I kept thinking that it was actually
happening in SPITE of what you taught. After all,
this girl was gorgeous, and I mean head to toe,
and I started to let the fear creep in, that I needed
to show her that I wasn't kissing up to her. I started
to think that the reason for my success so far was
that I had the "player vibe" about me.
So let me fast forward - I decided to talk to
some other girls just to make sure that she
knew I wasn't desperate for her, and that this
would get her to chase me even harder.
Well, when I did that, she had this confused,
disappointed look on her face when I told her
I had to talk to some other friends, but she said
okay and then I never heard from her for the rest
of the night!
But I felt like since she wasn't chasing me, that
it would be even worse now if I came running
back to her. And I wasn't interested in any of
the other girls as much.
Anyway, the thing was that on my way out
of the club around closing time with my buddies,
I see her roll up beside me, her girlfriends not
far away, and she remembers our convo, saying
to me "How about that Brontosauraus burger?"
Michael, my heart was pounding, I wasn't sure
if she was joking or serious that she wanted to
join me, so I said, "sure Betty, but remember
I expect you to clean the house!" And then
I find myself with this knockout walking
beside me and my friends suddenly in luck
as her girlfriends are now talking to my
buddies.
We reach the burger joint, and I'm feeling
so much pressure and conflicting thoughts.
I'm thinking "Is this girl trying to use me
to buy her food? I'm not going to be abused
by those tricks just because she's got the
looks" and my mind just keeps thinking
worse and worse and worse thoughts about
her, that this is all just another way for her
to use men for a free meal or something.
And then it happens- we reach the cash
register, and I blurt out "I don't believe
in prostitution" to which she seems
really confused (of course, I totally get
it and understand why now). So I then
make it even worse by explaining
it all to her, telling her that women use
men all the time, and she starts to feel
defensive, telling me that I have some
issues against women, which makes me
even angrier, and now the whole vibe
is going to hell. And in my gut, I knew
I was destroying the whole thing, but
somehow I felt that otherwise, if I didn't
"show her that I was tough" she would
eventually take advantage of me.
The crazy thing Michael, is that I don't
even know she wasn't going to pay! It's
possible she would have. The whole
argument though made me seem petty
and before I knew it she was hailing a
cab and high-tailing out of there, gone
forever. And the other thing that drove
me nuts is that I realize looking back
that I actually showed weakness, not
toughness at all, but being so petty.
I was so pissed off about the whole thing,
I couldn't sleep all night. All I could think
about was how I let this fantastic creature slip
through my fingers, and how I had committed
an error so clearly explained in your book-
I had allowed black and white thinking to
let me turn a little question about this woman
into an indictment on her, and sentencing
her to the verdict of being guilty, all
because I could not take the uncertainty
of the pressure in that situation.
I took a perfectly good woman and turned her
into some type of threat that didn't exist."
Daniel T.,
Houston, Texas
My Comments:
First of all, thank you for the huge props
for my book and for your honesty. A lot
of the lessons in my book come from years
of misery and mistakes and from listening
to the advice of some really, really wise
people that I had the good fortune of
meeting.
Regarding the emotions you were feeling
when things were going well, I understand
them, as I used to make the same mistakes.
What happens is that we want to protect
ourselves, and we start to focus on how to
protect ourselves from the bad stuff, from
the pain, rather than focus on how to get to
the good stuff. So we become obsessed
with preventing pain- we focus on pain
avoidance.
That type of attitude feeds images in our mind
of all types of horrible things, we start to think of
all the times we had bad experiences with
women, we start to think of all the horrible
possibilities, so we then revert to INSECURE
behavior.
So for example, how much does a burger
cost? Five bucks? It's trivial, unless the
woman gives you reason to believe she
is not respecting you in general. And
it's very possible she would have paid
it anyway, like you said.
The whole thing reminds me of something
that Wayner Dyer once articulated:
"All of us are like oranges. And just like
the only thing that comes out of oranges
under pressure is orange juice, the only
thing that pressure can bring out in you
is what's already there- you can't blame
some external source for what's bringing
it out in you".
So in other words, it's not that girl that was
making you feel all those horrible emotions,
those fears and insecurities were already there
inside, most likely made much WORSE by the
horrific advice out there, and SHE simply
created the moment of what you felt was the
"squeeze", even though this squeeze or pressure
was actually the product of something GOOD-
i.e. SHE LIKED YOU.
So the key is to realize that as soon as you
catch yourself wanting to give in to insecurities
you can always follow the principle of the
24 hour rule- don't react to the negative feelings
inside of you at the moment, you can always
do it 24 hours later- and guess what? 24 hours
later you almost ALWAYS realize there was
nothing to react to in the first place, and it
would have just made you seem insecure,
needy, and uncool.
The best part of this 24 hour training rule,
is that it actually MAKES YOU MORE SECURE
in the first place, it trains your mind and emotions
to not give in to fears.
The more you follow this 24 hour rule, the
FASTER you will see the truth about the
situation, the faster you will see that it
was actually a toxic negative emotion-
you'll start to get over these things
INSTANTLY. It won't take 24 hours
anymore.
Another good rule of thumb to remember
is that if you are feeling any type of EXTREME
reactionary feeling when a woman does
something, it's probably not an accurate
emotion, and certainly it's a mistake to
base your behavior on that extreme emotion.
The great thing though about this situation
is that you LEARNED from it.
It sounds like all you have to do is just
get back out there meeting women, and stick
to what you learn in my programs.
I look forward to hearing from you again.
Next Letter:
"Master Mike!!!
Do you realize what power you are giving guys?
I got your book almost two weeks ago, and couldn't
put it down once I started. And then my damn work
schedule kicked in- I've been really busy with work
lately, even working weekends, (I work in IT and
often have to be on call) but I made sure to read
your book during every break I had. And then this
past Friday I got the chance to leave work early
and that's when I had the opportunity to put your
stuff to the test:
I decided to relax and visit the bookstore on my way
home- as soon as I entered, I almost lost my breath
as I saw this gorgeous curly brunette, athletic looking,
in the section of the store selling gift-wrap.
Now, normally in the past, I would just stand there
and watch, tormenting myself on what to do. But
after reading your book, I realized what my pattern
always was - I would picture the absolute worse scenario
which to me was the idea of everyone looking at
me thinking I was a fool, or the idea of her thinking
to herself "why is this guy bothering me, I hate
it!"
It's amazing, that I never even realized I had this
pattern, and so I could never stop it, and I could never
stop the automatic feelings of indignity that followed.
And your book made me realize not only my pattern,
but also how I unconsciously was allowing this pattern
to create a guaranteed "failure to take action" response
every time, because I would let the pattern of thoughts
keep going and growing, and my conditioned response
to that was to prevent a disaster by not talking to her.
Of course, as you explain in your book, that never
really worked for long to make me feel any more secure,
it just gave me that momentary escape and relief from
having to take action, and the next time I would see
a woman the fear would be even worse, since I had
never had to actually stare it down.
This time, though, I was ready. I was ready with your
strategy- for the first time, I knew that any excuse I
would give myself would not only not bring me any
closer to this woman, but I also knew from your book
that in fact if I did not take action, I was actually
making it even harder for my emotions and brain
to take action in the future.
I made the decision that all the pain in the world
from her potential reaction was still better than a
life of fearing her reaction and never approaching
women.
So I went over to her and followed your advice
of not trying to be "mr. gangsta". Instead, I
focused on injecting some dominance, upbeatness,
and sensuality in my voice and gave her the
chance to "come into my world" as you say.
And I observed the situation so that what I
could say would be connected to the situation.
So instead of the put downs and arrogance,
I decided to genuinely give her some of the
infinite abundance of "good vibes" that I
have - and told her that someone who's thinking
that hard of the right wrapping paper must have
a really good friend! And I really said it with
a confident feeling, because I knew I was not
kissing up, I was genuinely complimenting
her on something that I thought was a sign
of her own goodness.
She seemed a bit surprised, I guess she didn't
realize I was right there, but she turned around
and gave me a warm smile and told me that she
was going to a friend's birthday and then I
couldn't even make out what she was saying
because my heart was pounding so hard and
all I could do was see her lips, her gorgeous
face.
I wanted to just say thanks and leave so badly,
because it felt so good to not have this thing
crash, but I knew that would be the wrong thing.
I managed to make out a few words that she
was saying, something about "she's a good friend"
and "helped her so much with rides to work"
so I just kept on sharing the vibe and actually
making a connection because I also really
value great and deep friendship, and I started
telling her that we are lucky if we have even
one great friend, and how what is the whole
point of life if we are just to enjoy it alone.
And that's when even though my heart was
still beating like crazy, I felt myself knowing
that this woman was enjoying being with me,
and it felt like a ton of bricks was being lifted
off my shoulder. Feeling that good, I started
to unleash the playful stuff, I knew it would
be interpreted right because it was coming
from a place inside of me that was real,
and because I knew she would know that
I meant it with love and not anger.
So I told her, "you know, we're having
a pretty good conversation here, and it's
all without being mean, nasty, or vulgar.
It's kinda nice, isn't it?" And she laughed
and said yes it was, and then she wanted
to know if I did this to "all the women in
the bookstore".
In the past, this would have been a major
catastrophe, as if I was "found out" and had
to cover my moves.
But now, after reading your book, I just
realized that women, especially a great woman
looking for quality connection with a man,
wants to know what type of guy she is dealing
with. This is a good thing in reality, otherwise
it would mean that no women had any standards.
So I was honest and secure, I told her calmly
that I didn't, but that we'd both be lucky if we
were to have these kinds of convos every day,
to which she of course agreed.
Man, Michael, this whole interaction was
beautiful, man. You really mean it when you
say that it's up to us to bring out the best
in a woman.
I got her number and when I called her on
Saturday afternoon, she didn't avoid the call
or play games, we spent 15 minutes on the
phone, and we're supposed to meet for coffee
this week.
Thank you man!!! This really is the stronger
way, the way of the truly confident, classy,
Man, and not the games of a boy who thinks
in terms of insecure, immature notions and
thinks of making love as "scoring" and whose
concept of interacting on a deep level with a
woman is either putting her down, acting
arrogant, or on the other extreme, kissing up
to her with superficial compliments.
You'll be hearing from me this week for a
consultation, because I want to ace this!"
Matthew S., New York.
My Comments:
There's nothing like seeing guys who have
taken the words I have written down and truly
GET IT and are putting it into action. When
you really get it, you start to see results
IMMEDIATELY.
One key point I want to emphasize is the idea
that I teach that you applied brilliantly- and that
is the idea of bringing out the BEST in a woman.
This is the RIGHT way to approach a quality woman.
By leading the interaction from the very
beginning in a morally strong way, you led
the pathway to only lead to good places.
You started by talking about friendships,
and valuing them, and not about how men
and women cheat and who cheats more
or other negative stuff that some people
like to pretend are "cool".
In reality, no one thinks those things are
cool, but many men and women don't want to
appear uncool by being the one to stand up
against it. And yet, the very fact that you
STAND OUT as DIFFERENT from the
outset actually shows that you have more
courage.
This stuff is massively important, as the
reality is that the pain of other people is
never a joke, and when try to be cool by
appealing to that type of conversation
and gossip, you are destroying the fabric
of the interaction in terms of having
a foundation of trust. So even if the
woman does talk to you, she is in the
back of her mind feeling uneasy, and
sooner or later the whole thing falls
to pieces.
Without trust, what happens a few days or
weeks or months down the line, the woman
kicks the guy to the curb because she
resents his attitude.
If a woman senses she is being manipulated,
how much trust can that lead to? Without trust,
the whole thing is a fragile house of cards
that is certain to fall apart.
But what you did, was you LED the way,
you showed a totally different attitude.
This is what she REALLY WANTS and
can't find. She can either only find
pushover "nice guys" or guys who
overcompensate their insecurities
with extreme arrogance, when all she
really wants is a MAN. A man with
class and who is emotionally mature,
whose sense of what is cool does not
depend on what OTHERS think, no
matter HOW much the TV might try
to change his attitude.
Next Email:
"Hey Michael,
There's this girl that I met and I'm wondering
what to do. We went out once so far.
The first time we went out for coffee, and
I tried to keep the conversation light and relaxed,
but her cell phone rang three different times, and
she also noticed some guy inside at the coffee
shop she recognized and she went right over
to him and gave him a hug and I just felt the
whole thing was too much for me so I just
told her that I had to meet some friends and
cut the date short.
Now, here's my question, I read a lot of
dating guru advice and they all seem to say that
I should not have made a big deal to show
that it bothered me, and others say that I
should have ignored it and kept on escalating
the interaction and tried to take her home if
I could, and that once I slept with her, it
would make her treat me very differently.
The thing is though that even in the
conversation, it was a bit strange, I was
telling her that I could tell a lot about a
person from the way they talk about
things, and she said to me that she
can tell a lot about a guy's personality
from the way he is having sex with
her.
This whole thing seemed bizarre to
me. Was this woman testing me? Was
the way she went over to the guy to hug
him some kind of test?
Can you clear any of this up????"
Kevin R., Miami
My Reply:
Trust me, this woman has SERIOUS issues
and is the kind of person who will MESS
with your head big-time.
If you want to make your life miserable
from the hell this woman will unleash
on your life, then go right ahead and
"keep escalating" toward the physical.
Let me tell you the REALITY:
You should run like hell away from this woman,
and most likely this woman has had her own
heart torn to shreds and is now out taking
vengeance out on all kinds of innocent men
like you. She is hurting and needs guidance,
but it is not YOUR job to be HER therapist.
Trying to make her a decent person can take
you FOREVER, when meanwhile a FANTASTIC
woman is probably within a few MINUTES of
where you are RIGHT now, and you could
be enjoying life with THAT quality woman
instead.
The first red flag was when her cell phone went
off repeatedly while she was out on the date with
you. The fact it happened repeatedly is already
not good. The fact that she clearly did not make
a serious effort to APOLOGIZE for it just shows
how not serious she is, and shows how she is
simply playing around and seeing how far
she can push.
But don't think of this as a "test", she is not
testing anything any more than a bully tests a
victim. i.e. Yeah, it might be a test, but the only
way to WIN this test is to ERADICATE her from
your life, before you allow her to poison your
image of all women, including all the women
with fantastic morals, high self-esteem, and
integrity who are out there.
Think of this test as actually a woman showing
you her TRUE COLORS and so she is actually
FAILING a test- she is failing YOUR test of
a quality woman!!!!
And the answer to the question that I'm sure
is burning in your mind regarding "Would
she treat me differently if I just got
past the "sex" stage with her?" is NO.
She would NOT be different with you.
She would STILL be the same person
with the SAME attitude.
The NEXT red flag was this hug business that
she actually LEFT you to go and make sure to
do the big warm fuzzies to some dude while
out on a date to you, and again, apparently
she made NO EXPLANATION of this at all
to you.
The crazy thing, is that this would be super
obvious to you if you study my programs.
By allowing yourself to be with an abusive woman,
you actually DEGRADE your own self-esteem and you
eventually start to think that maybe you SHOULD
put up with this vile filth of messed up behavior.
Finally, you need to ALSO realize that
it's important that you DO NOT WASTE
energy on these kinds of women IF you
want a quality woman for a long term
healthy relationship: The reason is because
the only way you will have the strength
to BE the kind of man with great integrity
and with feeling secure is if you spend your
time in the company of good people.
Staying with or pursuing those with spoiled
values will only mess up your internal compass
of what is normal and what is not, and then when
you meet a GREAT woman, you will be doing
all the WRONG things. Things that might
be normal for those with inferior values, but
that are ABNORMAL for those with superior
values.
And one more thing- a great woman will want
to KNOW that you are totally clear on what YOU
want in life. She is not looking for a namby-pamby
insecure guy who is willing to buckle his own values
just for some approval from any woman with the
looks who comes his way.
It's very hard to truly mask your identity, it comes
out in tiny subtleties in your behavior and intonation
of voice and mannerisms, so if you ARE the kind
of guy that doesn't have his own values and self-esteem
together and WILL buckle under pressure and will
pursue the wrong type of woman, well then I
can assure you that a great woman will DETECT
this in you, and you will not stand a chance with
her.
On the other hand, if you are absolutely clear on
what you want, and you BECOME the kind of guy
that would never even THINK of putting up with
any woman that chips away at his self-esteem
no matter how beautiful she is, no matter how
slight that self-esteem damage is, then a great
woman will detect THIS and be far MORE
attracted to you.
If you want to get a great woman, you need
to focus on that, and not on the WRONG women
that will drain you of everything precious -
your energy, your time, and your emotions.
And I can think of no better path for you to
take than by getting my most advanced program
on how to GET and KEEP a GREAT woman.
It's called WARRIOR WITHIN, and it's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven't yet got my ATTRACTION MASTERY
program, then do that FIRST, at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
How Do Guys Who Are "Naturals" With Women Do It?
Some of the best learning lessons come from
observing guys who are naturals with women.
So, right now, you are going to see EXACTLY
how a natural applies the science and art of
attraction successfully.
I'm going to use an email a guy sent me, and
you'll see the beauty in all this stuff. You'll
see how a guy pulled off an awesome job attracting
a woman, and then we'll take a look at it in slow-mo,
blow-by-blow, so you can really get a good look
at what's going on.
Of course, this is not only going to be fun as heck,
it's also going to be one awesome learning experience
about how to be even more successful with creating
attraction and also understanding the dynamics
of female culture and psychology.
So hold on tight and get ready for some fun:
EMAIL FROM A CLIENT:
Michael,
Hey we had a phone consultation last Sunday.
I appreciate the knowledge that you shared
with me and your personal story as well. I gotta
couple things to say and a few questions as well,
you can put 'em in the newsletter if you like.
Your recent newsletter was about the guy who
got divorced, took out a new woman and had her
eating out of his hand, how he kissed her hand
like Don Juan instead of on the lips and left
rather than going home with her. Of course
you remember, you wrote it.
Also, if you remember in our phone conversation,
you mentioned how, internally, your negative
experiences with women that were the result
of you behaving according to the brainwashed
culture, eventually made you reach boiling point,
and put you over the top, and you decided from
there to not give a *&@%!, to start giving women
"a hard time" and you said BAM the results just
happened. Even though you later improved upon
this and found a way to get even better results
without being abusive.
I have to admit that after seeing these things and
being logical, I like to play devil's advocate and
do things that are counter to what others tell me
are true...
So...since our talk I checked on a couple of other
dating sites, just to see what people say compared
to you, I wanted to see if it was all the same, or if
everyone thinks they have their own great idea that
only works for them, but doesn't work for anyone
else, etc.
MY REPLY:
First of all, thanks for the awesome props on my material
and on the coaching you received over the phone
( http://www.getagreatgirl.com/PrivateCoaching.html )
And my congrats to you, for putting in the mental work
and using the coaching to MAKE THE MENTAL JUMP TO
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE OF THINKING.
This is a MASSIVE step.
Suddenly you see the whole world of women
completely differently. It's going to hit you again
and again in many more situations with women,
each time it will be like a psychological tidal wave,
and each time it will hit a DEEPER realization.
(In fact, for my program on the ultra-powerful and
super-advanced "INNER MIND" components to success with
women, go HERE:http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html)
Your letter is especially worth noting because the
girl was a genuine "hot one" and that he was an
average looking dude with an athletic build; in
other words, his SKILL is what brought him out
on top.
And how did he ATTRACT this girl?
Did he try to bring her CLOSER to him?
No, as you clearly observed, he:
1."Was a ******* pr*ck the whole night."!
2. He shows up an hour late.
3. He is SEXUAL.
He ESTABLISHES A SEXUAL FRAME in a playful but naughty way that is not TOO over the board:
"Damn, that's a short a%# skirt."
4. He TEASES her NON-MALICIOUSLY
And he is GOOD at it so that she sees his superiority but also LAUGHS and feels GOOD.
He says, "I've never been on a blind date.." She
starts to say, "Yeah, me neither..." but before
she can finish the statement, he teases her with
"And I don't know if I will again."
She looks at him and goes, "Oh my gawd," but she is
smirking and totally turned ON.
5. When she TESTS his CONGRUENCY, he is
CONSISTENT WITH HIS IMAGE AND DOES
NOT MELT.
She tests him by saying, "I think you're a d**k".
He LAUGHS in response.
He gets close to her and says:
"What you think...? you think...?"
This then forces her to say:
"Okay, fine you ARE a d(*&."
He just responds with a LAUGH.
CLEARLY he implies he does not need her,
yet since the way he did it is funny, it's not
coming across as a TOTAL JERK either.
This also prevents an argument, since he
AGREES with her statement by reframing
her "insult" as an actual COMPLIMENT.
Doing this is a sign of superiority which is
attractive, and yet he did it in a way that is
also funny to boot, which gets her in a more
receptive mood to ALL his actions.
6. HE INTELLIGENTLY TEASES HER SOME MORE
He later says, "I thought they would hook me
up with someone who was pretty."
Keep in mind she is CLEARLY attractive, and
thus would not be "ZAPPED" too hard by this,
since she KNOWS she is PRETTY, she just now
isn't so sure anymore that she is Heaven's
gift to mankind. (By the way, I hate using
numbers like 1 or 10 to indicate attraction
levels, but in this medium of cyberspace
these numbers often help us get to the point.)
7. HE KNOWS WHEN TO SHIFT GEARS
When it's clear that he indeed has her
attracted to him for quite a while, and
she is obviously no longer testing him
but being genuine when she tells him that
his teasing is getting out of hand, he
GETS IT (the truth is, it would have
been better had he picked up on this a
little sooner and eased up on the teasing,
but at least he gets it when she POINTS
IT OUT TO HIM) and he realizes it's time
to "go a little more genuine and give her
that validation", BECAUSE NOW SHE IS
ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM, AND
SO THEREFORE SHE ACTUALLY CRAVES
HIS VALIDATION.
BEFORE SHE WAS ATTRACTED, SHE COULD NOT
CARE less about his validation.
So, now that he knows she VALUES his interest
in her, he first off smirks in a SUPERIOR
confident way, so that his next words will
not sound as if he is justifying his behavior,
will not sound "wussish", and he REFRAMES all
the prior teasing as HIM doing it all to
QUALIFY HER, when he says, "You know, I don't
like sheep, women that just do what others do,
so I had to see if you would stand up for
yourself, be different and not be a pushover
and you have.(stood up for yourself)".
This was almost GENIUS, if perhaps accidental
genius.
You see, he ALREADY made her attracted and
made her feel those emotions toward him by
the actions he did before, including the
teasing, but he later RELABELS the same
actions to serve a NEW purpose now:
You see, she is ALREADY attracted; it doesn't
matter if he now retroactively uses that
previous stuff he did to accomplish a NEW goal:
That goal is to now make her feel that she
has been SELECTED, that she has passed his
tests, which of course makes her fears of
being labeled "easy" go away, for this is no
"ordinary situation", it is now SPECIAL because
she has EARNED his validation and she has
passed HIS tests!!! He has made it seem like
he will not just sleep with any woman,
regardless of how attractive she is on
the outside.
Ahhh, so now she can feel more TRUST and
connection, as WELL as all the attraction.
As you described:
"She gives him a sultry look, bites her lower lip,
and says "So you do it on purpose?" And he says,
"Well yeah, but also because I know women like it."
I think he fumbled the ball a bit when he said,
"Also because I know women like it", it sounds
a bit wussish, but the truth is that even this
"fumble" might have been advantageous, because
he may have been SO AWESOMELY COOL in her mind
AT THIS POINT, that it might have made HER feel
that SHE was outclassed, so by lowering HIMSELF
a bit, and seeming a BIT like he was seeking her
validation and and women's validation in general,
it made him seem more REALISTIC, a bit vulnerable.
A bit more IDENTIFIABLE, like any compelling
character in a great movie.
I'd have to be there to observe how he said it,
because the idea of saying he said it, "because
women like it" can actually work in a different
way as well, almost in the opposite way but an
attractive way nonetheless, it can make him seem
to be real "bastard that women love" type, i.e.
he is not emotionally hung up on the whole thing,
he just does what works, ("women like it") which
can be kind of attractive as well, since he clearly
does not PERSONALLY feel that his self-esteem
depends on her approval, he simply does what works.
The bottom line is that he took a problem and solved
it by UNDERSTANDING intuitively what the situation
needed. In other words:
8. HE CREATED THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SEXUAL TENSION
Not too much not too little, which gets us to her,
"Yeah whatever" in a total "I WANT YOU" type voice."
9. HE PHYSICALLY ESCALATED WHEN SHE WAS READY
"So they cut to the car ride home, in a taxi, and
they're makin' out."
He didn't act like he was not a sexual being, he
made it CLEAR and he ESCALATED physically,and he
didn't do it too early, but he certainly didn't
wait for the date to be over before taking action.
10. HE ENDS OFF BY SHOWING HER HE LIKES HER
This is important since after all she now clearly
WANTS him. So he is leaving her with HOPE.
He says, "Hey, it was fun, maybe we can do it again."
She of course responds, "You have my number, use it."
11. SHE VERIFIES THAT HE IS RIGHT ON TARGET
She tells the interviewer, "I kinda like it when
guys don't flatter me, I'll definitely go on a
second date if he calls, but he needs to know the
games will continue."
I repeat:
"I kinda like it when guys don't flatter me."
And:
SHE LIKES THE GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, your reading of the situation is right on.
She is SO CONFIDENT of her VALUE, that it's far
MORE flattering to her to get a guy who DOES NOT
flatter her so quickly...that way, much LATER
when she BEGS for the validation, it will mean
so much MORE to her, and then it really WILL
flatter her.
When she says she likes it when guys don't flatter
her, what she subconsciously means is that the guys
who TRY so hard to flatter her are NOT succeeding
in actually MAKING her feel flattered.
This is because, in her subconscious mind, the
very fact they are FLATTERING her so much is a
sign of THEM not being cool or desirable, or
they wouldn't FEEL the need to try so hard.
It would be DIFFERENT if the guy FIRST focused
on coming across as being DESIRABLE and got
HER attracted, and then LATER tried to flatter
her, since then the flattery would be MEANINGFUL
to her.
As I said, even the ultra hotties have some insecurity
issues of their own. In fact, I personally am attracted
to girls who are MORE secure because they tend to
be more emotionally stable and play less games, but
these emotionally secure girls are EXTREMELY rare.
Anyway, as you clearly understood, this dude "played
it perfect, he made her question whether she was all
that cool or skinny or hot and it put the pressure on
her to impress him. She was the one trying to get
his approval as the night went on, she didn't feel like
she was a princess the way she would have around
99% of other guys.
And right when she couldn't take it, or maybe she
was just playing, it doesn't matter, he gave her a
little self-esteem boost by validating her, to let
her know that she has passed some of HIS tests
and is showing potential in meeting his standards."
Bravo.
And remember, all the while he is still keeping her
laughing so he is never seeming bitter or inferior
and plus the laughing keeps the mood and the
atmosphere FUN.
And finally, to answer your questions:
"Does the jerk approach only work with girls
that are in the upper range, like the 9s and 10s?
I mean, what if a girl is real conservative, or a
small-town country girl, you know good values
and stuff, maybe never had sex or like 1 time
with a guy that she dated for 6 years, maybe
never dated anyone seriously, but she's also
real hot, won't she have more respect for herself
and be offended by the jerk approach?"
MY ANSWER:
The answer is that definitely for the 9's 10's, in
general you have to shake up their reality and
make them feel the challenge to their "identity
of superiority", make them work to try to get
YOU to validate THEM. And of course, the very
fact they are TRYING to get you to validate them
is proof of attraction. It IS attraction.
If she is really conservative, small town, etc, it's
POSSIBLE she MIGHT be a candidate for a slightly
softer approach, but still, not as "soft" as you
might think. These women know the score, and
they get "spoiled" fast. So you have to CALIBRATE,
(measure the degree to how hard/easy you have to go)
by testing her reactions to things, reading her reactions
to things such as what you say and do. You get better
at this with experience.
Your second question:
"Likewise, say a girl has been cheated on a bunch
and dated about 10 jerks in her life. When she
decides to "settle down," because she hears her
biological clock ticking, won't she have learned
that the jerks don't change and end up going for
maybe a llittle bit older, overweight, financially
secure guy that she will refer to as "her sweetie,
who is so good to her," or something to that effect?"
MY ANSWER:
Ahhhh yes, very very often, AFTER SHE HAS
been with ten thousand guys and run the party
circuit to the ground and she is no longer a
prime commodity.
(okay I'm exaggerating a bit for comedy
effect here, but I want to make a point)
and she has been SUPPOSEDLY "hurt
and dumped" and the jerks would never
have her, she "gets smart" (she was
"smart" ALL ALONG, in fact that's why
she only "got smart" when her looks
were fading and her biological clock
started ticking), and she goes for the
"nicer guy" that you described because
that is what she NEEDS to settle down,
because the other jerky fun guys would
NEVER settle down with her, especially
because these guys sense the FULL
EXTENT OF THE TRUTH about her since
THEY WERE THE TYPES OF GUYS she
was with.
So of course these guys can't be fooled
and aren't about to give SECURITY and
RESPECT and COMMITMENT to a girl
like that.
So these women have to find a "nice" naive guy to
take advantage of, and who will act SO HAPPY
to be with her. Almost makes you puke, huh?
Yeah, me too. Or it used to, to be accurate.
This is why it's SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE
THE SKILLS of attraction.
It's like being in shape, you don't have
to be in shape because you are planning
on some emergency. Being in shape
just helps you do everything better.
Similarly, having the skills with women
will also help you avoid the wrong women,
for many reasons, not only because of the
skills of DETECTING character which you
will learn, but ALSO because when you
have tons of CHOICES of women you aren't
vulnerable to feeling NEEDY.
So often, men end up going for the worst
abusive women simply because they feel
so needy that ANY woman is a big deal
in their minds, even a woman who lacks
integrity of character.
Having the skills of attraction helps you
SENSE what's really going on so you can
know the difference between a great girl
and a girl who is PRETENDING to be one.
Your skills enable you to DETECT this kind of
stuff a lot better than your average joe. And of
course, since the skills make you far more
attractive, you will not be so easily used by
any woman, because the skills help you make a
woman WANT to treat you well.
Your final question:
"My opinion is that a two-pronged approach
works best. Be the more intense busting
type with women who know they're "commodities",
and be a teasing charmer (like you were in the
bookstore with the two women) with the girls who
are a little more level-headed, what do you say?"
MY ANSWER:
It's all about how DESIRABLE the girl thinks
YOU are and also how she feels about HERSELF.
So to a girl who doesn't think she is so great,
then this lower self-esteem girl will feel that
a guy who IS more of a "nice guy" to be more
valuable than a guy who is a massive smartaleck
because she feels the smartaleck IS IMPOSSIBLE
FOR HER TO GET, therefore she CUTS OFF IN HER
MIND THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING WITH HIM, so
she doesn't feel ANYthing for him.
A woman with lower self esteem doesn't feel
"challenged" by a guy who is cool, she feels
STOMPED ON.
It's like a woman who is a 10 being MEAN
to a a guy who feels he is a 1.
This doesn't feel "challenging" to him, it
just feels horrible.
But if she was NICE to him, he feels maybe
it's possible.
So it's all about calibrating the woman in front
of you and knowing WHEN to use WHAT.
And if are reading this right now, let me
assure you that the strategies used by the
man in this newsletter, to successfully
make a genuine ULTRA-HOTTIE go from calling
him "a d**k" to then wanting him so bad that
she tells me "You have my number, use it."
are all REAL-WORLD attraction strategies that
men who are successful with women use ALL
the time.
These aren't random strategies, they have
been heavily researched and proven to WORK
to attract the kind of women that make
most men MELT.
And in my ATTRACTION MASTERY program, you
will learn ALL of these strategies and
insights plus HUNDREDS more, and you will
learn them in FULL DEPTH. What you read
in these newsletters is just a GLIMPSE
of the FULL CONTENT you will find in this
program. The newsletter is just a PINHOLE
view of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE of PROVEN
attraction strategies that you will get
in my Attraction Mastery Program.
There are TONS of women out there, right now.
You probably passed by some hot ones today.
Those were all opportunities to attract them.
Let me ask you a question:
What if this program only ended up helping
you to land ONE incredible HOTTIE?
Just ONE truly ASTONISHINGLY beautiful creature.
Wouldn't it be worth it?
And I'm telling you that this program has
TONS of super-effective strategies that
you can use to attract INFINITE beautiful
women.
Plus, this program can be downloaded to
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Download it immediately by going here now:
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This special program was developed from YEARS
of conducting live attraction bootcamps in the
REAL WORLD, in tons of venues from bookstores
to clubs to the street.
The program is also the result of YEARS of
helping guys get their desired results with
women LONG-TERM as well, working with
THOUSANDS of satisfied clients in all types of
different situations.
You can check out some of my work proving
the power of these strategies in REAL LIFE
by clicking here:
Real Life Proof As Reported In Major Newspapers
Till next time,
Michael Marks
observing guys who are naturals with women.
So, right now, you are going to see EXACTLY
how a natural applies the science and art of
attraction successfully.
I'm going to use an email a guy sent me, and
you'll see the beauty in all this stuff. You'll
see how a guy pulled off an awesome job attracting
a woman, and then we'll take a look at it in slow-mo,
blow-by-blow, so you can really get a good look
at what's going on.
Of course, this is not only going to be fun as heck,
it's also going to be one awesome learning experience
about how to be even more successful with creating
attraction and also understanding the dynamics
of female culture and psychology.
So hold on tight and get ready for some fun:
EMAIL FROM A CLIENT:
Michael,
Hey we had a phone consultation last Sunday.
I appreciate the knowledge that you shared
with me and your personal story as well. I gotta
couple things to say and a few questions as well,
you can put 'em in the newsletter if you like.
Your recent newsletter was about the guy who
got divorced, took out a new woman and had her
eating out of his hand, how he kissed her hand
like Don Juan instead of on the lips and left
rather than going home with her. Of course
you remember, you wrote it.
Also, if you remember in our phone conversation,
you mentioned how, internally, your negative
experiences with women that were the result
of you behaving according to the brainwashed
culture, eventually made you reach boiling point,
and put you over the top, and you decided from
there to not give a *&@%!, to start giving women
"a hard time" and you said BAM the results just
happened. Even though you later improved upon
this and found a way to get even better results
without being abusive.
I have to admit that after seeing these things and
being logical, I like to play devil's advocate and
do things that are counter to what others tell me
are true...
So...since our talk I checked on a couple of other
dating sites, just to see what people say compared
to you, I wanted to see if it was all the same, or if
everyone thinks they have their own great idea that
only works for them, but doesn't work for anyone
else, etc.
I found that a lot of the others, while not advocating
being "Nice" or a wuss, were advocating being a
charmer through compliments and romantic things
and looking deep into her eyes and flirting on and
on, just introducing yourself and saying hi with a
big smile on your face...
I've always thought this would be a better fit for my
personality, but am/was/ willing to give your stuff
a go if it is what gets results...
Since I read your stuff first, I've filtered the other
stuff through it and compared everything I see/read to
what you've said. So, I've found that usually your info
is different than the rest and I didn't know if that was
good or not:
Well, the CLINCHER happened the other night as I
was working on the computer. I was doing some stuff
and I always leave the TV on just for background noise.
(One Of The Famous Dating TV Shows) was on. It's a
show where they put two people on a blind date, give
'em a car and let 'em go to a park, a restaurant, and bar
or something along those lines.
They show that the dude, I will call him Mitch (for
privacy's sake) an average looking dude with dark hair
and an athletic build who works as a bouncer is going
to be going on a date with a smokin' woman who looked
a little like ****** *******. For privacy's sake, I'll
call her Anita. She's a model who was featured in a
VERY famous televised lingerie show with kazillions
of viewers.
Anyway, the dude was a &*&^<$# pr*ck the whole
night. He shows up an hour late, makes a comment
like, "Damn, that's a short a%# skirt."
They get in the car, right away he says, "I've never been
on a blind date...", she starts to say "Yeah, me neither...",
but before she can FINISH the statement, HE says,
"and I don't know if I will again." She looks at him, and
goes "oh my gawd," but she is SMIRKING and totally
turned on. She gives a playful roll of the eyes right.
Anyway, he busts her all night, she at one point says,
"I think you're a di*&." He laughs, gets close to her,
and says, "What you think...? You think...?" She says,
"Okay, fine, you ARE a di**." He just laughs.
Later he says, among many similar type things, "I thought
they would hook me up with someone who was pretty,"
- YES HE SAID THIS.
Later, when the date is almost over, she gets serious,
and says, "You know I think you may have a little
insecurity, you kind of take it too far sometimes, the
teasing, and I don't like it." He smirks, looks away,
and comes back with, "You know, I don't like sheep,
women that just do what others do, so I had to see if
you would stand up for yourself, be different and not
be a pushover, and you have (stood up)."
She gives him a sultry look, bites her lower lip, and
says, "So you do it on purpose?" (i.e. to see if a
woman is up to your standard) and he says, "Well
yeah, but also because I know women like it." She
rolls her eyes again and smiles and licks her lips
and says, "yeah whatever" in a total I WANT YOU
voice.
So they cut to the car ride home, in a taxi, and
they're makin' out. Later they cut to the outside
of the house as he is saying goodbye (he didn't go
in, he is standing at her door) and he's like, "Hey,
it was fun, maybe we can do it again." And she
says, "You have my number, use it."
In the post date interview he says, "Once I saw
that the girl was bangin', I knew, I knew, I
couldn't be nice if I was going to get in with her,
and yeah it worked." She says, "Yeah, he was
a little rude, but I kinda like it when guys don't
flatter me, I'll definitely go on a second date if
he calls, but he needs to know the games will
continue."
All I could say was, "Sh**... Sh**!!! ...
Michael is right, oh man, dude is so friggin right."
I said it out loud, only one in the room, it hit me
that deeply. I realized how well it worked.
You said that even the "***** ******" types try
to act better than others but they have some
insecurity issues of their own. And this guy
played it perfect, he made her question whether
she was all that cool or skinny or beautiful and it
put the pressure on her to impress him.
She was the one trying to get his approval as
the night went on, she didn't feel like she was
a princess the way she would have around 99%
of other guys. And right when she couldn't take
it, or maybe she was just playing, it doesn't matter,
he gave her a little self-esteem boost to let her
know that she has passed some of his tests and
is showing potential in meeting his standards.
So, in parting, much props to you man, you know
what you're talkin' bout. And some curiosities
were sparked from our phone conversation as it
relates to being a "smart aleck":
You told me that the key is to determine if a girl
is (culturally) "beautiful" (like a 9 or a 10) or not,
because the gorgeous ones need to see you are
superior in order for them to feel the boost, but
the cute ones who are like 6, 7 and 8s on the 10
scale you can actually compliment them some
(not their body) and smile a little and be more
charming because they will appreciate the attention
of a sincere guy.
So onto the questions:
1)Does the jerk approach only work with girls that
are in the upper range, like the 9s and 10s? I mean,
what if a girl is real conservative, or a small-town
country girl, you know good values and stuff, maybe
never had sex or like only with one guy that she dated
for 6 years, maybe never dated anyone seriously, but
she's also real hot, won't she have more respect for
herself and be offended by the jerk approach?
2)Likewise, say a girl has been cheated on a bunch
and dated about 10 jerks in her life. When she
decides to "settle down," because she hears her
biological clock ticking, won't she have learned
that the jerks don't change and end up going for
maybe a little bit older, overweight, financially
secure guy that she will refer to as "her sweetie,
who is so good to her," or something to that effect?
3)My opinion is that a two-pronged approach
works best. Be the more intense busting
type with women who know they're "commodities",
and be a teasing charmer (like you were in the
bookstore with the two women) with the girls who
are a little more level-headed, what do you say?
I appreciate you making it through this long email.
on, just introducing yourself and saying hi with a
big smile on your face...
I've always thought this would be a better fit for my
personality, but am/was/ willing to give your stuff
a go if it is what gets results...
Since I read your stuff first, I've filtered the other
stuff through it and compared everything I see/read to
what you've said. So, I've found that usually your info
is different than the rest and I didn't know if that was
good or not:
Well, the CLINCHER happened the other night as I
was working on the computer. I was doing some stuff
and I always leave the TV on just for background noise.
(One Of The Famous Dating TV Shows) was on. It's a
show where they put two people on a blind date, give
'em a car and let 'em go to a park, a restaurant, and bar
or something along those lines.
They show that the dude, I will call him Mitch (for
privacy's sake) an average looking dude with dark hair
and an athletic build who works as a bouncer is going
to be going on a date with a smokin' woman who looked
a little like ****** *******. For privacy's sake, I'll
call her Anita. She's a model who was featured in a
VERY famous televised lingerie show with kazillions
of viewers.
Anyway, the dude was a &*&^<$# pr*ck the whole
night. He shows up an hour late, makes a comment
like, "Damn, that's a short a%# skirt."
They get in the car, right away he says, "I've never been
on a blind date...", she starts to say "Yeah, me neither...",
but before she can FINISH the statement, HE says,
"and I don't know if I will again." She looks at him, and
goes "oh my gawd," but she is SMIRKING and totally
turned on. She gives a playful roll of the eyes right.
Anyway, he busts her all night, she at one point says,
"I think you're a di*&." He laughs, gets close to her,
and says, "What you think...? You think...?" She says,
"Okay, fine, you ARE a di**." He just laughs.
Later he says, among many similar type things, "I thought
they would hook me up with someone who was pretty,"
- YES HE SAID THIS.
Later, when the date is almost over, she gets serious,
and says, "You know I think you may have a little
insecurity, you kind of take it too far sometimes, the
teasing, and I don't like it." He smirks, looks away,
and comes back with, "You know, I don't like sheep,
women that just do what others do, so I had to see if
you would stand up for yourself, be different and not
be a pushover, and you have (stood up)."
She gives him a sultry look, bites her lower lip, and
says, "So you do it on purpose?" (i.e. to see if a
woman is up to your standard) and he says, "Well
yeah, but also because I know women like it." She
rolls her eyes again and smiles and licks her lips
and says, "yeah whatever" in a total I WANT YOU
voice.
So they cut to the car ride home, in a taxi, and
they're makin' out. Later they cut to the outside
of the house as he is saying goodbye (he didn't go
in, he is standing at her door) and he's like, "Hey,
it was fun, maybe we can do it again." And she
says, "You have my number, use it."
In the post date interview he says, "Once I saw
that the girl was bangin', I knew, I knew, I
couldn't be nice if I was going to get in with her,
and yeah it worked." She says, "Yeah, he was
a little rude, but I kinda like it when guys don't
flatter me, I'll definitely go on a second date if
he calls, but he needs to know the games will
continue."
All I could say was, "Sh**... Sh**!!! ...
Michael is right, oh man, dude is so friggin right."
I said it out loud, only one in the room, it hit me
that deeply. I realized how well it worked.
You said that even the "***** ******" types try
to act better than others but they have some
insecurity issues of their own. And this guy
played it perfect, he made her question whether
she was all that cool or skinny or beautiful and it
put the pressure on her to impress him.
She was the one trying to get his approval as
the night went on, she didn't feel like she was
a princess the way she would have around 99%
of other guys. And right when she couldn't take
it, or maybe she was just playing, it doesn't matter,
he gave her a little self-esteem boost to let her
know that she has passed some of his tests and
is showing potential in meeting his standards.
So, in parting, much props to you man, you know
what you're talkin' bout. And some curiosities
were sparked from our phone conversation as it
relates to being a "smart aleck":
You told me that the key is to determine if a girl
is (culturally) "beautiful" (like a 9 or a 10) or not,
because the gorgeous ones need to see you are
superior in order for them to feel the boost, but
the cute ones who are like 6, 7 and 8s on the 10
scale you can actually compliment them some
(not their body) and smile a little and be more
charming because they will appreciate the attention
of a sincere guy.
So onto the questions:
1)Does the jerk approach only work with girls that
are in the upper range, like the 9s and 10s? I mean,
what if a girl is real conservative, or a small-town
country girl, you know good values and stuff, maybe
never had sex or like only with one guy that she dated
for 6 years, maybe never dated anyone seriously, but
she's also real hot, won't she have more respect for
herself and be offended by the jerk approach?
2)Likewise, say a girl has been cheated on a bunch
and dated about 10 jerks in her life. When she
decides to "settle down," because she hears her
biological clock ticking, won't she have learned
that the jerks don't change and end up going for
maybe a little bit older, overweight, financially
secure guy that she will refer to as "her sweetie,
who is so good to her," or something to that effect?
3)My opinion is that a two-pronged approach
works best. Be the more intense busting
type with women who know they're "commodities",
and be a teasing charmer (like you were in the
bookstore with the two women) with the girls who
are a little more level-headed, what do you say?
I appreciate you making it through this long email.
MY REPLY:
First of all, thanks for the awesome props on my material
and on the coaching you received over the phone
( http://www.getagreatgirl.com/PrivateCoaching.html )
And my congrats to you, for putting in the mental work
and using the coaching to MAKE THE MENTAL JUMP TO
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE OF THINKING.
This is a MASSIVE step.
Suddenly you see the whole world of women
completely differently. It's going to hit you again
and again in many more situations with women,
each time it will be like a psychological tidal wave,
and each time it will hit a DEEPER realization.
(In fact, for my program on the ultra-powerful and
super-advanced "INNER MIND" components to success with
women, go HERE:http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html)
Your letter is especially worth noting because the
girl was a genuine "hot one" and that he was an
average looking dude with an athletic build; in
other words, his SKILL is what brought him out
on top.
And how did he ATTRACT this girl?
Did he try to bring her CLOSER to him?
No, as you clearly observed, he:
1."Was a ******* pr*ck the whole night."!
2. He shows up an hour late.
3. He is SEXUAL.
He ESTABLISHES A SEXUAL FRAME in a playful but naughty way that is not TOO over the board:
"Damn, that's a short a%# skirt."
4. He TEASES her NON-MALICIOUSLY
And he is GOOD at it so that she sees his superiority but also LAUGHS and feels GOOD.
He says, "I've never been on a blind date.." She
starts to say, "Yeah, me neither..." but before
she can finish the statement, he teases her with
"And I don't know if I will again."
She looks at him and goes, "Oh my gawd," but she is
smirking and totally turned ON.
5. When she TESTS his CONGRUENCY, he is
CONSISTENT WITH HIS IMAGE AND DOES
NOT MELT.
She tests him by saying, "I think you're a d**k".
He LAUGHS in response.
He gets close to her and says:
"What you think...? you think...?"
This then forces her to say:
"Okay, fine you ARE a d(*&."
He just responds with a LAUGH.
CLEARLY he implies he does not need her,
yet since the way he did it is funny, it's not
coming across as a TOTAL JERK either.
This also prevents an argument, since he
AGREES with her statement by reframing
her "insult" as an actual COMPLIMENT.
Doing this is a sign of superiority which is
attractive, and yet he did it in a way that is
also funny to boot, which gets her in a more
receptive mood to ALL his actions.
6. HE INTELLIGENTLY TEASES HER SOME MORE
He later says, "I thought they would hook me
up with someone who was pretty."
Keep in mind she is CLEARLY attractive, and
thus would not be "ZAPPED" too hard by this,
since she KNOWS she is PRETTY, she just now
isn't so sure anymore that she is Heaven's
gift to mankind. (By the way, I hate using
numbers like 1 or 10 to indicate attraction
levels, but in this medium of cyberspace
these numbers often help us get to the point.)
7. HE KNOWS WHEN TO SHIFT GEARS
When it's clear that he indeed has her
attracted to him for quite a while, and
she is obviously no longer testing him
but being genuine when she tells him that
his teasing is getting out of hand, he
GETS IT (the truth is, it would have
been better had he picked up on this a
little sooner and eased up on the teasing,
but at least he gets it when she POINTS
IT OUT TO HIM) and he realizes it's time
to "go a little more genuine and give her
that validation", BECAUSE NOW SHE IS
ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM, AND
SO THEREFORE SHE ACTUALLY CRAVES
HIS VALIDATION.
BEFORE SHE WAS ATTRACTED, SHE COULD NOT
CARE less about his validation.
So, now that he knows she VALUES his interest
in her, he first off smirks in a SUPERIOR
confident way, so that his next words will
not sound as if he is justifying his behavior,
will not sound "wussish", and he REFRAMES all
the prior teasing as HIM doing it all to
QUALIFY HER, when he says, "You know, I don't
like sheep, women that just do what others do,
so I had to see if you would stand up for
yourself, be different and not be a pushover
and you have.(stood up for yourself)".
This was almost GENIUS, if perhaps accidental
genius.
You see, he ALREADY made her attracted and
made her feel those emotions toward him by
the actions he did before, including the
teasing, but he later RELABELS the same
actions to serve a NEW purpose now:
You see, she is ALREADY attracted; it doesn't
matter if he now retroactively uses that
previous stuff he did to accomplish a NEW goal:
That goal is to now make her feel that she
has been SELECTED, that she has passed his
tests, which of course makes her fears of
being labeled "easy" go away, for this is no
"ordinary situation", it is now SPECIAL because
she has EARNED his validation and she has
passed HIS tests!!! He has made it seem like
he will not just sleep with any woman,
regardless of how attractive she is on
the outside.
Ahhh, so now she can feel more TRUST and
connection, as WELL as all the attraction.
As you described:
"She gives him a sultry look, bites her lower lip,
and says "So you do it on purpose?" And he says,
"Well yeah, but also because I know women like it."
I think he fumbled the ball a bit when he said,
"Also because I know women like it", it sounds
a bit wussish, but the truth is that even this
"fumble" might have been advantageous, because
he may have been SO AWESOMELY COOL in her mind
AT THIS POINT, that it might have made HER feel
that SHE was outclassed, so by lowering HIMSELF
a bit, and seeming a BIT like he was seeking her
validation and and women's validation in general,
it made him seem more REALISTIC, a bit vulnerable.
A bit more IDENTIFIABLE, like any compelling
character in a great movie.
I'd have to be there to observe how he said it,
because the idea of saying he said it, "because
women like it" can actually work in a different
way as well, almost in the opposite way but an
attractive way nonetheless, it can make him seem
to be real "bastard that women love" type, i.e.
he is not emotionally hung up on the whole thing,
he just does what works, ("women like it") which
can be kind of attractive as well, since he clearly
does not PERSONALLY feel that his self-esteem
depends on her approval, he simply does what works.
The bottom line is that he took a problem and solved
it by UNDERSTANDING intuitively what the situation
needed. In other words:
8. HE CREATED THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SEXUAL TENSION
Not too much not too little, which gets us to her,
"Yeah whatever" in a total "I WANT YOU" type voice."
9. HE PHYSICALLY ESCALATED WHEN SHE WAS READY
"So they cut to the car ride home, in a taxi, and
they're makin' out."
He didn't act like he was not a sexual being, he
made it CLEAR and he ESCALATED physically,and he
didn't do it too early, but he certainly didn't
wait for the date to be over before taking action.
10. HE ENDS OFF BY SHOWING HER HE LIKES HER
This is important since after all she now clearly
WANTS him. So he is leaving her with HOPE.
He says, "Hey, it was fun, maybe we can do it again."
She of course responds, "You have my number, use it."
11. SHE VERIFIES THAT HE IS RIGHT ON TARGET
She tells the interviewer, "I kinda like it when
guys don't flatter me, I'll definitely go on a
second date if he calls, but he needs to know the
games will continue."
I repeat:
"I kinda like it when guys don't flatter me."
And:
SHE LIKES THE GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, your reading of the situation is right on.
She is SO CONFIDENT of her VALUE, that it's far
MORE flattering to her to get a guy who DOES NOT
flatter her so quickly...that way, much LATER
when she BEGS for the validation, it will mean
so much MORE to her, and then it really WILL
flatter her.
When she says she likes it when guys don't flatter
her, what she subconsciously means is that the guys
who TRY so hard to flatter her are NOT succeeding
in actually MAKING her feel flattered.
This is because, in her subconscious mind, the
very fact they are FLATTERING her so much is a
sign of THEM not being cool or desirable, or
they wouldn't FEEL the need to try so hard.
It would be DIFFERENT if the guy FIRST focused
on coming across as being DESIRABLE and got
HER attracted, and then LATER tried to flatter
her, since then the flattery would be MEANINGFUL
to her.
As I said, even the ultra hotties have some insecurity
issues of their own. In fact, I personally am attracted
to girls who are MORE secure because they tend to
be more emotionally stable and play less games, but
these emotionally secure girls are EXTREMELY rare.
Anyway, as you clearly understood, this dude "played
it perfect, he made her question whether she was all
that cool or skinny or hot and it put the pressure on
her to impress him. She was the one trying to get
his approval as the night went on, she didn't feel like
she was a princess the way she would have around
99% of other guys.
And right when she couldn't take it, or maybe she
was just playing, it doesn't matter, he gave her a
little self-esteem boost by validating her, to let
her know that she has passed some of HIS tests
and is showing potential in meeting his standards."
Bravo.
And remember, all the while he is still keeping her
laughing so he is never seeming bitter or inferior
and plus the laughing keeps the mood and the
atmosphere FUN.
And finally, to answer your questions:
"Does the jerk approach only work with girls
that are in the upper range, like the 9s and 10s?
I mean, what if a girl is real conservative, or a
small-town country girl, you know good values
and stuff, maybe never had sex or like 1 time
with a guy that she dated for 6 years, maybe
never dated anyone seriously, but she's also
real hot, won't she have more respect for herself
and be offended by the jerk approach?"
MY ANSWER:
The answer is that definitely for the 9's 10's, in
general you have to shake up their reality and
make them feel the challenge to their "identity
of superiority", make them work to try to get
YOU to validate THEM. And of course, the very
fact they are TRYING to get you to validate them
is proof of attraction. It IS attraction.
If she is really conservative, small town, etc, it's
POSSIBLE she MIGHT be a candidate for a slightly
softer approach, but still, not as "soft" as you
might think. These women know the score, and
they get "spoiled" fast. So you have to CALIBRATE,
(measure the degree to how hard/easy you have to go)
by testing her reactions to things, reading her reactions
to things such as what you say and do. You get better
at this with experience.
Your second question:
"Likewise, say a girl has been cheated on a bunch
and dated about 10 jerks in her life. When she
decides to "settle down," because she hears her
biological clock ticking, won't she have learned
that the jerks don't change and end up going for
maybe a llittle bit older, overweight, financially
secure guy that she will refer to as "her sweetie,
who is so good to her," or something to that effect?"
MY ANSWER:
Ahhhh yes, very very often, AFTER SHE HAS
been with ten thousand guys and run the party
circuit to the ground and she is no longer a
prime commodity.
(okay I'm exaggerating a bit for comedy
effect here, but I want to make a point)
and she has been SUPPOSEDLY "hurt
and dumped" and the jerks would never
have her, she "gets smart" (she was
"smart" ALL ALONG, in fact that's why
she only "got smart" when her looks
were fading and her biological clock
started ticking), and she goes for the
"nicer guy" that you described because
that is what she NEEDS to settle down,
because the other jerky fun guys would
NEVER settle down with her, especially
because these guys sense the FULL
EXTENT OF THE TRUTH about her since
THEY WERE THE TYPES OF GUYS she
was with.
So of course these guys can't be fooled
and aren't about to give SECURITY and
RESPECT and COMMITMENT to a girl
like that.
So these women have to find a "nice" naive guy to
take advantage of, and who will act SO HAPPY
to be with her. Almost makes you puke, huh?
Yeah, me too. Or it used to, to be accurate.
This is why it's SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE
THE SKILLS of attraction.
It's like being in shape, you don't have
to be in shape because you are planning
on some emergency. Being in shape
just helps you do everything better.
Similarly, having the skills with women
will also help you avoid the wrong women,
for many reasons, not only because of the
skills of DETECTING character which you
will learn, but ALSO because when you
have tons of CHOICES of women you aren't
vulnerable to feeling NEEDY.
So often, men end up going for the worst
abusive women simply because they feel
so needy that ANY woman is a big deal
in their minds, even a woman who lacks
integrity of character.
Having the skills of attraction helps you
SENSE what's really going on so you can
know the difference between a great girl
and a girl who is PRETENDING to be one.
Your skills enable you to DETECT this kind of
stuff a lot better than your average joe. And of
course, since the skills make you far more
attractive, you will not be so easily used by
any woman, because the skills help you make a
woman WANT to treat you well.
Your final question:
"My opinion is that a two-pronged approach
works best. Be the more intense busting
type with women who know they're "commodities",
and be a teasing charmer (like you were in the
bookstore with the two women) with the girls who
are a little more level-headed, what do you say?"
MY ANSWER:
It's all about how DESIRABLE the girl thinks
YOU are and also how she feels about HERSELF.
So to a girl who doesn't think she is so great,
then this lower self-esteem girl will feel that
a guy who IS more of a "nice guy" to be more
valuable than a guy who is a massive smartaleck
because she feels the smartaleck IS IMPOSSIBLE
FOR HER TO GET, therefore she CUTS OFF IN HER
MIND THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING WITH HIM, so
she doesn't feel ANYthing for him.
A woman with lower self esteem doesn't feel
"challenged" by a guy who is cool, she feels
STOMPED ON.
It's like a woman who is a 10 being MEAN
to a a guy who feels he is a 1.
This doesn't feel "challenging" to him, it
just feels horrible.
But if she was NICE to him, he feels maybe
it's possible.
So it's all about calibrating the woman in front
of you and knowing WHEN to use WHAT.
And if are reading this right now, let me
assure you that the strategies used by the
man in this newsletter, to successfully
make a genuine ULTRA-HOTTIE go from calling
him "a d**k" to then wanting him so bad that
she tells me "You have my number, use it."
are all REAL-WORLD attraction strategies that
men who are successful with women use ALL
the time.
These aren't random strategies, they have
been heavily researched and proven to WORK
to attract the kind of women that make
most men MELT.
And in my ATTRACTION MASTERY program, you
will learn ALL of these strategies and
insights plus HUNDREDS more, and you will
learn them in FULL DEPTH. What you read
in these newsletters is just a GLIMPSE
of the FULL CONTENT you will find in this
program. The newsletter is just a PINHOLE
view of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE of PROVEN
attraction strategies that you will get
in my Attraction Mastery Program.
There are TONS of women out there, right now.
You probably passed by some hot ones today.
Those were all opportunities to attract them.
Let me ask you a question:
What if this program only ended up helping
you to land ONE incredible HOTTIE?
Just ONE truly ASTONISHINGLY beautiful creature.
Wouldn't it be worth it?
And I'm telling you that this program has
TONS of super-effective strategies that
you can use to attract INFINITE beautiful
women.
Plus, this program can be downloaded to
you INSTANTLY.
You can start using it IMMEDIATELY.
It contains approximately 12 HOURS of pure
GOLD on the most effective strategies for
attracting the women you want.
Download it immediately by going here now:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
This special program was developed from YEARS
of conducting live attraction bootcamps in the
REAL WORLD, in tons of venues from bookstores
to clubs to the street.
The program is also the result of YEARS of
helping guys get their desired results with
women LONG-TERM as well, working with
THOUSANDS of satisfied clients in all types of
different situations.
You can check out some of my work proving
the power of these strategies in REAL LIFE
by clicking here:
Real Life Proof As Reported In Major Newspapers
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Friday, August 10, 2012
Solid Advice On Approaching And Attracting Women
Here are EIGHT valuable insights that are
INSTANTLY-APPLICABLE for approaching
and attracting women.
#1:
INTELLIGENT RISK IS GOOD FOR YOU
Most guys are looking for a way to avoid any
risk when it comes to women, but the reality
is that women will only be MORE attracted
to you by the very FACT you DID take the
risk to meet her.
So for example, if you see a woman working
in a lingerie store, and you can't find one
good excuse for being in the store, and so
it's obvious that you are going to speak to
her because you are attracted to her, then
the very act of going up to her and doing
your approach is MORE attractive than
if there WAS some excuse to COVER-UP
the fact that really you just wanted to meet
her. It shows MORE GUTS, it shows
MORE INTENT, it shows you are the
kind of guy who doesn't let FEAR stop
him from going for what he wants in
life.
This is attractive on so many levels, both
conscious and subconscious that it's not
even funny. It tells her that you are a
WINNER and that you ENJOY LIFE.
It shows you have the courage to be a
protector, it shows you have the charisma
to enjoy life, it shows TONS of things.
So you can go RIGHT UP to her in the
craziest of environments and she will
be MORE ATTRACTED by it, even
if you were to say something as simple as:
"I just saw you and I thought you were
insanely beautiful as heck, and I wanted
to know if there was even more to you as
well."
The key is to SAY THIS with TOTAL
INTENT, you can't be half-way on this,
you have to MEAN both the fact you
think she is beautiful and you have to
be comfortable letting her know that
and you have to ALSO mean that you
TRULY DO WANT TO KNOW if
there is more to her than the surface.
The subtle distinctions that happen when
you have the intent here are actually massive
in terms of the difference you will get in
results.
As soon as she replies with anything, you
can then use that to comment back on,
and you can begin an "energy-ping-pong"
where you both flirt back and forth with
fun confident statements about yourselves.
i.e. She might say "I certainly hope I do
have more than the surface, but thank you"
And you can reply with something like this:
"That makes two of us, I know I have
more than just the surface when it
comes to me"
(And you can say this with a confident playful smirk.)
Remember, a woman who is attractive already
KNOWS you are probably interested, so the
REAL difference is not whether you can hide
it or not, the difference is what you DO with
the fact you are interested. She is IMPRESSED
with the fact you are not allowing fear to
control you.
Do you go home and curse yourself for not
taking action? Do you get ANGRY at women
for the frustration you feel? Or do you take
POSITIVE ACTION?
This is the one thing that good guys need to
learn from "JERKS". "Jerks" don't have
any issue with feeling sexual about women,
they don't feel bad whether a woman approves
of them or not. And there is nothing JERKY
about having these same thoughts and emotions,
so you should ALSO realize that women are
actually LOOKING for a guy who is comfortable
with being sexual.
The truth is that women are very comfortable
with sexuality and don't think lowly of the
fact that men are interested in them, and
most women are NOT evil and will NOT
abuse that fact. So, the only REAL RISK
is NOT TAKING ACTION, because
that risks you having a life with NO
WOMAN, ever.
#2:
HUMOR IS ABOUT WINNING
A quick and SUPER STRONG idea you
can use for being funny is to always remember
that the reason humans LAUGH hard is because
on some level they feel they are WINNING.
My ATTRACTION MASTERY PROGRAM goes
into a super in-depth level on this,
( http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html )
but for now just realize that one way to
APPLY this concept is to COMBINE the
following two things:
First, make an extreme comment about your
EXCELLENCE/SUPERIORITY. (By making
it extreme, you make it clear that you are
not being totally serious and that you are
being playful.)
Then, ALSO make sure to follow up this with
a GENUINE compliment to her.
So, for example, let's say a woman says to
you "I like Southern boys" or, "I like Northern
boys" you can always reply, "I'm in a whole
new category baby, I'm the MAN. You can
keep the boys."
Now, this is a comment that says you are
SUPERIOR/EXCELLENT. But it is also
extreme and so it's clearly not meant to be
taken totally seriously, so it shows that you
are not only confident (you saying you are
the MAN) but also secure and not
overly serious. (Which actually FURTHER
shows you are indeed the MAN FOR REAL!)
Then, if you were to follow this up with a
compliment to her, i.e. let's say she doesn't
smoke, or you find out she has an appreciation
for your favorite type of movie, i.e. comedy
or action, you can compliment her on it, and
now the fact that you THE GUY WHO
IS "EXCELLENT" actually also likes HER,
is going to make her like you MORE. AND,
it also will set things up so that any OTHER
"superior" or "extreme excellence" comment
you make about yourself will seem just the
right balance of things, because she knows
you ALSO like her, so to her it feels GOOD
that you are this SUPERIOR guy, because
she ALSO knows that this superior guy
LIKES HER, so anything about YOU
being a winner makes HER feel like
a winner as well, since YOU approve
of HER.
This means she will be LAUGHING at
anything you do that suggests YOUR
excellence. It's all because she feels
that SHE is winning as well, since
she is kind of an extension of you now.
This is why you see hotties laughing at any
little joke from guys who seem "arrogant",
it's because from the woman's point of view
the guy is NOT arrogant, since he has already
ALSO made it clear he DOES like her too.
The very fact he is TALKING to her shows
some interest anyway, so remember that
you are NOT seeming like a jerk by
saying "cocky" things about yourself
if you are saying it playfully and she
ALSO knows that you like her.
Again, this idea can be used in millions
of situations, and it all depends on the
environment, so if you are with a woman
on a second or third date, and she knows
you a bit, and she sees you are not drinking
alcohol, and she asks you if this is because
you are driving, and you answer with
"baby, when I'm driving, you won't
want me to EVER stop." The reason
this is not arrogant is because she
knows you LIKE HER and by the
second or third date it's clear you
have already established some mutual
respect.
#3:
HOW TO NEVER NEED MEMORIZED
ROUTINES OR SCRIPTS
There are INFINITE things you can do
that don't involve memorizing lines,
routines, or scripts.
You can simply USE THE ENVIRONMENT
and the SITUATION to start a conversation.
Plus you can also do things like playfully
IMITATE what she is saying, you can
also do things like TICKLE her if you
are in a bar, and in almost ANY
environment you can do things like
TAKE whatever she says and PLAYFULLY
MISINTERPRET it as her being extremely
FORWARD and as it meaning she is
chasing you. (i.e. if she says to you
in the restaurant or club or wherever,
"Do you know where the bathroom is?"
You can say back to her, "But we hardly
know each other, this is kind of fast!!
Slow down!")
You can also simply tell her about something
funny or intriguing that happened to you
that day or recently, which will prompt
a response from her.
#4:
GIVE YOUR WORDS EMOTIONAL JUSTICE
So many times, when guys are approaching
a woman who is a total stranger, they end
up RESTRAINING all the natural joy and
fun in their voice.
For example, if you were telling the same
story or making the same comment to
someone you knew well and were comfortable
with, you'd really tell the story with FULL
JUSTICE. You'd give the funny part of your
story the full emphasis with the inflection
of your voice and the body language and
mannerisms. You wouldn't be afraid to
use the right words even if they were
a bit sexual or a bit dirty.
But suddenly when talking to a new woman,
what we do is HOLD BACK and try to keep
everything SAFE. Yet the reality is that what
makes stories, comments, or humor effective
is that they DO PUSH the envelope of what is
"typical". So by trying to keep everything
"typical" and "safe" you are ROBBING your
conversation of all its EMOTIONAL IMPACT.
#5:
ALL EXCUSES FOR NOT APPROACHING
WOMEN ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH
There are infinite excuses for not taking
action, but they all will NOT serve to
bring a the woman you want into your
life.
If you want to learn HOW to go about it,
then I can show you it all.
If you want to go to the bar or club but
you don't have a "wingman", then you'll
just have to fly SOLO that night at the
bar. I used to think that going out to a
club by yourself was INSANE but the
truth is that it was one of the biggest
learning experiences of my life, as by
not having a wingman, I was forced to
take ACTION since I had no wingman
to chat to! I learned how to handle
groups of women, one-on-one situations,
and mixed sets of women and men.
In fact, going out with a wingman is
ONLY a good thing if the wingman is
BETTER than you, otherwise your
wingman is only going to RUIN your
interactions. If your wingman is
inexperienced, then it's okay to
go with him to the club but make
sure that you handle most of the
interactions, and let him take a
more passive role as he LEARNS
from you while you do the interactions
together.
#6:
USE ENOUGH VOLUME IN YOUR VOICE
Ever notice that when you're angry you usually
talk LOUD?
Now, anger is usually a destructive emotion, but
my point is that the reason you speak loudly
when angry is because when angry you tend
to feel that you have WORTH. You therefore
also feel that your WORDS have WORTH.
Now, you don't have to be angry to feel your
words have worth.
You can be in a GREAT mood and feel that your
words have worth. And THIS is what you want
to be doing when chatting to women.
All too often however, when guys are chatting
to women, their voice kind of mumbles and
sounds quiet and it's because we are thinking
that our words are NOT WORTHY, so we
almost try to BURY the words SO THAT
THE WOMAN WILL NOT HEAR how
"stupid" they are.
The CRAZY thing is that there are some
real morons out there who simply ACT
and SPEAK as if they DO have worth,
and many people THINK they are in
fact worthy.
How crazy is that? When GOOD GUYS
act like they are unworthy and give no
volume to their voice, which makes
the woman think that the guy IS
creepy, that he IS unworthy.
If you BEHAVE as if you ARE UNWORTHY,
then how can you blame women for feeling
that is what you are? I know this from experience,
so take it from me, you want to CHANGE THIS
immediately if you are making this mistake.
This doesn't mean to go around YELLING,
as that implies insecurity as well. It just
means to be CONSCIOUS of the fact that
your words DO HAVE VALUE, and so
make sure they get spoken with the
volume they DESERVE. Make sure
that your every word gets HEARD,
because you are WORTH being heard.
#7:
GET "TALKATIVE" BEFORE STARTING!
One of the mistakes that guys make is they
go into a situation where there are women
around, but they are totally unprepared,
they are totally NOT in the right state
of mind.
One of the states of mind you want to be in
when approaching women is the TALKATIVE
state of mind, combined with the PLAYFUL
state of mind.
So the key is to start having talkative fun BEFORE
going out to meet women. My buddy and I used
to go see a comedy movie on Friday evenings,
and we'd be laughing and chatting about the
movie right after so that by the time we got
to the club or bar, we were ALREADY in
an extremely talkative and playful state
so we were already WARMED UP and
READY to take action to approach any
woman as soon as the situation presented
itself to us.
You don't have to do the exact same thing,
but you can apply the principle by for
example calling up a friend on the phone
and talking to him before going out to
meet women.
You can chat with the taxi driver, the
clerk, whoever you meet. The key is
to keep the conversation FUN and
to get TALKATIVE.
However, I also must warn you that you
shouldn't let the fact that you might be
in a less than great state serve as an excuse
for not approaching a woman. Often, that
first approach of the day feels the most
painful to get done, because you are not
sure of what is going to happen. Then after
getting it done, you feel better and more
relaxed and you do even better with the
next woman.
#8:
DON'T RELY ON YOUR EMOTIONS
WHEN THEY ARE NEGATIVE
Our emotions cloud our thinking. They
actually can DISTORT your filter of reality
and make you perceive almost everything
in a way that will destroy your results with
women.
If you are feeling insecure, then ANYTHING
a woman says or does will be interpreted as
a reason for why she is not interested in you,
and even worse, as a reason for why you
are NOT WORTHY, or for why you are
somehow "bad".
Emotions can make you think that a
conversation with a woman is going
HORRIBLY wrong when in fact it
may be going FINE.
This is why it's important to also
approach many women, because
one woman is not indicative of
what the entire female gender
says/thinks/feels.
It's crazy and tragic how going through
ONE BAD relationship, or TWO bad
ones, or going through a couple of
bad experiences with women, can make
us feel that ALL WOMEN ARE OUT
TO HURT US, and it's just not true.
What's even crazier is when we learn
that we ourselves may have been doing
things that in our ignorance we didn't
know were actually FUELING some
of the problem we were experiencing
with women.
So on that note, it's of PARAMOUNT
significance to find out the TRUTH
about women, about how attraction
works, about how to control our
own state of mind, and about the
best way to actually approach a woman
and take things from that initial walk-up
to her to getting physical to having a
fantastic relationship that gets STRONGER
with time.
And if you would like the most powerful
home-study program on Earth for mastering
the BIG PICTURE on attracting the women
you want, then you owe it to yourself to
get my Attraction Mastery Program.
It's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my program
'Acing The Approach' then DEFINITELY do that
IMMEDIATELY.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/acing-the-approach.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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