Today I’d like to make a celebration by giving you
some ULTRA-POWERFUL tips for attracting the women
of your choice. These are tips that go beyond
making an impact on women, these tips will ignite
her desire on a very PRIMAL, CARNAL level.
The great thing about these tips is that you can
also put them to use on women IMMEDIATELY!
ONE:
START DRESSING THE WAY YOU WOULD
IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE A SUPERSTAR.
I always say “You are what you THINK
and what you DO.”
If you THINK and BEHAVE as if you're just
‘Joe Average’, then you will always BE
‘Joe Average’.
In fact, one of the invisible forces that
keeps men imprisoned in the social status
of "not cool to a woman" is the SELF-BELIEF
that you don't belong higher up.
And the people who are already there
will NOT have the time or the energy
to stop their lives and try to FIND you
and help you get up there. They don't
even know you exist. And let's face it,
they also know that if someone doesn't
want to change, they never will anyway,
so they don't see why they should be
trying to change people when it's a free
world.
So you have to push your envelope to
reach out of your "comfort zone" - you
have gotten comfortable with seeing
yourself as ‘not in the same league’
as she is, only because you have done it
for so long- but FROM THIS MOMENT ON,
THIS ENDS! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm serious about this, go out today and
FORCE yourself to put on COOLER clothing
than you think is ‘right’ for you.
I'm not saying that if you are 85 that
you must go and get a skateboard and dye
your hair purple, what I am saying is that
you know very well that you can be dressing
and grooming far cooler than you are right
now, and the only reason you are not doing
it is because you think that you are not
"supposed" to- and the only reason you think
THAT is because you've had a lifetime of PRACTICE
doing the same old thing so much that you think
all your old ways of behaving and dressing are RIGHT.
So let's start CHANGING those thoughts by also
changing your ACTIONS.
Go to a huge mall with tons of selections, go to
every single men’s store and ask yourself what
you would wear if you knew you could get away
with it, if you KNEW you were the coolest, most
desired guy on earth. If you KNEW you were
a ‘rockstar’.
Check out not only clothing, but also accessories
like pendants, an interesting looking watch,
unique and outrageous belt buckles, etc.
Once you’ve BROKEN this barrier and EXPERIENCED
how it CHANGES you over several weeks, well THEN
if you really want,then you can go back to just
the jeans and t-shirt or whatever you wore before,
because you will have now INTERNALIZED the new
attractive behaviors, thoughts, and emotions.
There is a reason that schools, clubs, super-heroes,
military organizations, sports teams, etc, all have
DISTINCT uniforms, it is because it delivers a
psychological impact not only to OTHERS but also
to the actual people WEARING them!
TWO:
ERADICATE THE RISING VOICE PITCH
Notice how when you are talking to a woman
you are attracted to, your voice will often
rise up- this happens because you feel too
much energy and that too much is at stake.
It's as if a billion volts of electricity is
surging through your system.
This gets you feeling even MORE anxious and
also makes a guy seem a little too desperate.
So for now, you have to CONSCIOUSLY bring your
vocal pitch back to normal.
This will not only get you better results, but
it will change your state of mind as well and
get you into the proper perspective that is
far more empowering as well.
THREE:
BANISH THE FEAR-INDUCED SMILE
Very often, when a woman is talking to you,
you will be smiling in a way that is OVERDOING
it.
Yes, a natural smile is great, but when you are
smiling as if the GREATEST THING ON EARTH has
happened to you, when all that has happened is
a stranger has agreed to chat with you, then
it's actually too much.
Yes, a woman liking you is a great thing, but
it's even more important for YOU to feel pretty
awesome already, and if you felt that way, a
woman who was a stranger would not be able
to pump your smile up THAT much.
See, it's not that women are attracted to jerks,
it's that jerks happen to be doing one thing right-
even if they are only acting, and that is that they
are not behaving as if a woman is the source of their
own self-esteem.
Nothing jerky about having your own self-esteem.
That's just good stuff for all guys to have.
So if you are smiling like the smile is plastered on
your face like the Joker, then stop it.
Of course, I know all this stuff from personal
experience, so it's not like I'm on some high
horse here, I just want to make sure you benefit
from what I learned the hard way.
FOUR:
TAKE THE LEAD FROM THE VERY FIRST MOMENT
Man, if more men only realized how much women
APPRECIATE the fact that YOU are a man and
that YOU have a plan on where to go for the date,
on what to do with your life, and if you had a
strong perspective on how to make your life
meaningful, and on how to handle issues and
stress and challenges, rather than just hope
for things to go right, - or even worse, to hope
that SHE will have the answers to all this
stuff.
In life, whoever has the stronger frame will
win, and that's not a bad or good thing, it's
just the truth. It simply means whoever has
the greater discipline to persevere and to live
with passion and not give in to laziness or
negativity, will WIN.
This is why some bizarre CULT leaders can
get women even though the cult leader is
preaching absolute lies and absolute hogwash
and total crap. Yet, he has managed to get
HIMSELF to believe in his own lies, and
he has generated enough passion in himself
from within and he is his own best friend
and never cuts himself down.
So if TOTAL INSANE CRAZY PEOPLE can attract
women, then I can assure you that ANY MAN can
do this, without telling a single lie, if he
is SERIOUS about learning how attraction really
works.
So, now that you know this is the truth,
can you imagine how badly a guy will
do on a date if he seems like he is LOST
in life, and lost regarding what to do with
her, what to say, etc?
Women do not want a man that is lost in any way,
whether it is lost on how to deal with her, or
lost on how to deal with his own life.
FIVE:
KNOW WHEN TO IGNORE YOUR ‘INSTINCTS’
This is a HUGE one. In fact, if the billions of men that
have walked this earth before us could speak of their
greatest lessons they learned in their lives when it
came to getting and keeping a quality woman, it
would surely be this:
Sorting out which "gut instincts" are USEFUL
and which ones are HARMFUL.
So for example, have you ever felt a GUT
INSTINCT to NOT approach a woman?
As if at the moment of taking action, it just
seemed like "no way, it couldn't work" or
"mannn, this does NOT feel good so I
WON'T do it".
Or how about being on date with a woman,
and things are going well, and then you
feel this sudden urge to say something,
and after you say it, you just KNOW it
was the wrong thing to say? Or you
escalated too hard, too fast, to get
physical, and it just backfired and she
felt you were needy or just not cool?
Why is it that so often, what seemed like
a gut instinct and what seemed like it was
so strong of a feeling, afterwards feels like
it was clearly a mistake?
The reason for this is because until you get
really GOOD at this stuff, you simply
SHOULD NOT trust your "gut instincts".
This is because often, those are NOT gut
instincts, rather they are often just
emotional responses that are the result of
years and years of bad "brainwashing"
by all kinds of forces in your environment
from your friends and family to your
books and movies and radio.
(they are not doing this on purpose, they
are simply feeding you what they think
themselves)
So the key is to learn WHICH emotions you
should TRUST and WHEN.
The reality is that most of us have a "chatterbox"
inside our minds going on a lot of the time.
It says all kinds of things, like "she's hot, you're
not good enough for her" or it says "man, what
were you THINKING? This is CRAZY?" or it
says "just wait till tomorrow, tomorrow is a
better day for meeting a woman, but not today"
etc etc etc.
The mistake we make is that we think this
chatterbox IS actually US, but it's NOT.
We make the mistake of taking whatever the
CURRENT message is, and thinking that IT
is the REAL truth, and that the message is
coming from US, since after all, WE are
the ones feeling it.
But it's NOT true.
When you get that negative voice, or that
negative feeling, it's just THAT- a voice-
one of MANY voices that you can feel,
and that YOU can determine to HAVE or
NOT to have.
I want to give you a strategy for CONQUERING
this stuff and becoming far more empowered
with women.
From now on, any time you want to take action,
and then suddenly the CHATTERBOX kicks
in, giving you ANY message that is trying to
STOP you from taking action, what I want
you to do is this:
Say to that voice "thank you for sharing that
opinion with me."
In fact, you should even give that particular
voice a NAME.
So let's say you are about to approach a
woman you are interested in finding out
more about, and suddenly an internal voice
kicks in, saying "no no no, what if this
FAILS????" "What if you look like an
IDIOT???" or "She's FOR SURE going
to be a B***CH" etc etc.
What you should do is give this voice a
NAME. Call it "Voice that thinks it's
saving me." And then say "THANKS
for SHARING your OPINION".
And if you like, you can even go so far as
to tell yourself again exactly what opinion
that voice has. But the key here is to make
sure that you DO acknowledge the voice,
and that you do NOT repress that voice,
and that you ALSO after allowing that
voice to be totally heard, then say "And
now I'm STILL going to go right up and
talk to that woman!"
The key is that you are REALIZING that
it's JUST a VOICE, it's just an OPINION,
it's NOT the ONLY choice you have- you
DO have a choice to APPROACH that
woman anyway.
Similarly, if you are with a woman and you
can see the date is going well, and you want
to kiss her, and then that VOICE kicks in,
telling you NOT to do it, well the fact is
if that date is going well you SHOULD do
it, and you should name that voice, i.e.
"Voice That Thinks Kissing Her
Is Going To Ruin The Whole Thing"
and then say THANKS FOR SHARING
that opinion, and thanks for trying to
help me, and NOW I'M GOING TO
KISS HER ANYWAY!!!!
Do not repress these voices, LET them
be heard, say thanks even to them for trying
to share with you their advice, and then
DO THE REAL ACTION THAT DEEPER
DOWN YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD DO,
i.e. approach her, kiss her, etc.
What you have to also realize is that emotions
are NOT reality, even though FEEL like they
are TRUER than facts. The reality is that
emotions are simply INTERPRETATIONS
of facts, and the problem is that they give
you interpretations that are so often
WRONG.
And we tend to NEVER questions our emotions.
If we feel desire for a woman, we often think
she is WORTHY of love. And she might NOT
be worthy. If we feel FEAR, of escalating,
of ridicule, we often think that the thing is
WORTH fearing, when often it is NOT.
Remember, emotions are NOT accurate indications
of reality at ALL. And in fact, they can TOTALLY
change overnight.
Have you ever experienced an emotion about
something, and then a while later, you felt
totally different about it? Maybe it was a
food, a person, or a song. It doesn't matter
what it is, the bottom line is that emotions
change, and yet people tend to take any
and all emotions and treat them as sacred
UNCHANGEABLE facts.
And I can tell you this, if you are feeling
emotions that are NOT empowering, that
are TAKING energy and confidence and
charisma and life and fun AWAY from
you, then THOSE emotions are ABSOLUTELY
INCORRECT interpretations of reality--
unless you believe that you were put on
earth to suffer.
But if you believe that life should NOT
be about suffering, then I'm telling that
there is no logical reason on Earth to
trust those negative emotions as being
accurate indicators at all.
People tend to think that negative emotions
are a sign of a negative reality, but it's
actually the other way around:
Negative emotions WARP your thinking and
make you see the very WORST possibility, so
of course this triggers you to go full
throttle on AVOIDANCE type behaviors-
you will AVOID any situation where you
can potentially pick up a woman, you will
AVOID escalating the interaction to anything
meaningful.
Negative emotions create tons and tons of
INCORRECT messages in your mind about
women, and about your own ability to get a
woman that you want.
These emotions create BAD DATA.
Think of it like a corrupted file on your
computer that can screw up the functioning
of so many of the programs on your computer.
Negative emotions corrupt the GOOD files
in your brain, and feed BAD instructions
to you when the moment of action comes.
So, to CONQUER this problem, to
OVERCOME those emotions, don't try to
repress them. And don't feed into ego of
saying that you are so great either--that
creates a very thin foundation for respect
and trust, and you will need respect and
trust to build anything.
Instead, just ALLOW the negative voice to
express it's OPINION, and you should name
that voice, and then just say "thanks for sharing",
and then go ahead and DO THE ACTION
you need to do. By allowing the voice to
be heard, it actually WEAKENS because
it's no longer something you are SCARED
of.
By letting it say it's opinion, you are sending the
message to your mind that you are NOT so
afraid of that voice. When you keep on trying
to block it out, it's similar to not looking
at the screen at a monster movie when
you are a kid, and then the MONSTER
comes out, and then your imagination
keeps on WONDERING what the monster
looks like, but if you just let it be seen,
it's NEVER as scary as blocking it out
and you keep on FEARING it.
By the way, that's why the scariest movies
do NOT show you the thing to be feared,
for example in the original Jaws, you
barely EVER see the actual shark, you
just see the fins on the surface of the
water now and then. Actually
confronting it again and again
DESTROYS it from having power.
Emotions are just a SENSATION, and they
are often an ARBITRARY interpretation of
data, and actually negative emotions are
often the WORST and most INCORRECT
interpretation of facts.
It's MASSIVELY ATTRACTIVE to be
the kind of guy who understands this,
because women themselves often realize
that they themselves get lost in the wrong
emotions. And they want a man who will
prevent her emotions from leading to chaos-
and that's whey HE must be THE MAN,
in the sense of being STABLE and
if any type of emotion, then he should
be of the EMPOWERING emotions.
Again, this is why it's not about kissing
up to women, and it's not about being a
jerk, as both of those things are a guy
following the NEGATIVE VOICES--
i.e. kissing up comes from hearing a voice
that says "she'll dump you if you don't do this"
and "you're not good enough for her" and
being a jerk comes from the negative voice
"if you don't boss her around she'll take
you for granted and lose attraction and
respect for you".
Rather, it's all about being a man in the
GREATEST sense: the sense of emotional
INTELLIGENCE.
One more tip about this- it's even fine for you
to get ANGRY at the VOICES, the chatter
that keeps on telling you the negative crap-
this helps you realize it's NOT YOU, and
that these voices are not HELPING you.
So often, we think we ARE our emotions,
but we are NOT.
Only once this is truly something you
feel on an instinctive level, only then can
you follow your "gut-instincts" because
then you will know the difference between
gut instincts and DESTRUCTIVE information.
SIX:
YOU MUST BE CONGRUENT
One of the coolest things that you will
find extremely empowering is that you
DON'T have to pretend to be someone
else in order to attract a woman.
It doesn't matter if you are a party
animal, or a shy guy, you do NOT
have to try to adopt a character
or identity that is not you.
The key is to learn how to be truly
comfortable in your own skin.
99% of people are not this way,
they are the victims of endless
bad programming and bad conditioning
since childhood. So this 'being
comfortable in your own skin'
thing takes some know-how
if you are going to get it
right.
At the very moment of approaching
a woman who is a stranger, most men
tend to do the very things that show
the OPPOSITE of who they really
are. This even happens with
women we might already know,
if we are attracted to them.
So, for example, a guy who is really
NOT into the pop culture will pretend
that he is a real know it all about
Britney Spears, Madonna.
Or a guy who is actually not into
money, but feels INSECURE about it,
will try to show a woman he knows
a lot about money.
Similarly, a guy who may not really
be into academic stuff will pretend
that he reads a lot when in reality
he doesn't.
Or a guy who is not into dance clubs
and lounges will pretend he is by
name-dropping all the "hot spots"
in the city, the local clubs, etc.
The reality is that it's far more
important to be congruent with
who you really are, as long as
that person is coming from a
place of warmth and confidence.
So, if you want to start a
conversation with a woman
at the local bookstore, then
try starting the conversation
with your genuine thoughts
about something relevant-
such as the book she is
reading.
Then, when she gives you her
response, you should respond
genuinely with your feelings
and thoughts about what she
said, as long as your thoughts
are coming from a place of
warmth and confidence.
A woman can detect the inconsistencies
and incongruencies in your demeanor,
which means she will know something
is "sketchy" or untrue about you
if you lie or pretend to be someone
else.
On the other hand, if you are truly
congruent and consistent with your
real identity, and you are SECURE
with that identity, you will attract
her by showing her that you are
a man who doesn't need to play
games with her. This also gives
her the permission for HER to
be herself as well, and there
is nothing on earth like the
feeling of being yourself
and feeling GOOD about that.
I have always said that the
greatest gift you can give
a woman is greater self-esteem,
and by showing it in yourself
and by showing comfort in
your own identity, you help
inspire her to do the same.
I've had clients who have ranged
from extreme extroverts to extreme
introverts, and they have all done
well with women, by learning how
to unleash their true personalities
and getting rid of all the things
that we all do to BLOCK our identity
out of the fear that maybe that
identity isn't "cool" enough.
The irony is that BLOCKING our
identity is the very thing that
causes a woman's attraction to
shut DOWN.
So, from now on, I suggest you
take a conscious note of all
the things you tend to do in
conversations with a woman
that BLOCK what you really
feel and who you really are-
from showing off, from acting
too cool, from acting like
anybody that you're not.
And STOP doing those things.
So, stop talking too fast.
Stop trying to qualify yourself.
Start actually listening to her
rather than worrying if you
are coming across as cool or not.
Learn to be present in the moment.
All you have is the moment, nothing
else exists, so enjoy that moment,
and the next, and the next, etc.
SEVEN: BE DOMINANT
The next key I want to discuss is DOMINANCE.
A lot of times you hear that women are attracted
to guys who are dominant. Most guys however,
misunderstand this and think it means being
a hard-ass.
The reality regarding this is that it has nothing
to do with that at all. It has to do with several
other things, though, and today I'll get into
ONE of those things, and that is the erotic
applications of this.
As you will see right now, being dominant in the
right way is actually being KIND to a woman.
For better or for worse, the fact of the matter
is that women even today are still under the
influence of social programming, and even
though there is so much liberation, a lot of
women still feel guilty about sex, believe it
or not. Also, even if a woman has zero
guilt, what I am about to say enhances
attraction as well.
So, for example, let's say you meet a woman
in a dance club or a lounge or wherever,
even a coffee shop while in line. And you
begin a conversation with anything such
as:
"Coffee is only the beginning of my
vices, how about you?"
Or you could playfully tease her on the fancy
bright pink martini she has ordered, by saying:
"You know that drink would go better if you
were wearing pink shoes."
The fact of the matter is, at some time in the
interaction, you have to ESCALATE things.
So for example, you might have to get her
to sit down with you because it's kind of silly
to be standing there blocking the line once
you both have your coffee or whatever drink
you both ordered.
Well, for many women, if you just ASK
her, "Would you like to sit with me over
there?" even a woman who may very well
have been feeling attraction for you, she
might now say, "Ummm sorry, I have
to get going, but thanks."
Meanwhile, it would have been much more
useful had you just said with DOMINANCE
the following statement rather than question:
"You need to take a break with the best,
come here and sit down for a sec."
She would have far more likely have not only
AGREED to do it, but also been TURNED ON
by the way you said it with such dominance.
There are tons of reasons for this:.
For one thing, it shows you are a man who
knows what he wants and has clarity. You
are showing that you aren't even considering
that she might say no, that you are so confident
that she will say yes. There are tons of
positive associations to this, it says you
are a winner, that you know what you
are doing, from survival in the wilderness
to having a fun romp in bed. It's all good
stuff.
And, there is another level to all this as
well- and that is the fact that if a woman
has to lead the show in the beginning, she
feels guilty sometimes. Whereas if YOU
lead the show, she can feel that you were
just "being a man" being a "guy", etc,
as if it was a man's role only to do this
stuff. And perception is reality, so the
fact is, if you DON'T lead the show,
if you are NOT dominant in leading
things and escalating the interaction,
she will feel you are not a man, she
will feel guilty for leading the show
herself, etc.
The more you lead, the more she can
ENJOY the interaction and not worry
or feel guilty about it. Now, of course,
if a woman clearly says no to anything, then
you OF COURSE leave her alone. The idea
though is that you must take responsibility
for escalating the interaction, and for doing
it with dominance.
It's a far bigger turn on, and it allows her to
also feel GOOD about the whole thing rather
than worry about being perceived as a "slut",
etc.
As you have seen above, dominance is a
crucial element to being successful with
women, but it must be done RIGHT.
Notice also, how ALL the above tips and strategies
are all a part of having an excellent ‘INNER GAME’
when it comes to interacting with women. The
term ‘Inner Game’ refers to what a man is thinking
and feeling INSIDE, including his inner beliefs,
core values, and perspectives about himself
and about women.
So for example, even the very FIRST tip on style,
clothing, and accessories, is more about what it does
for your OWN ‘inner game’ in terms of your self-beliefs
and perspectives than it is about being some kind
of “tactic” to ‘fool’ a woman into anything.
When you develop your INNER GAME to the maximum,
a woman can ALWAYS tell that you are indeed the
‘MAN’ and she will be attracted INSTANTLY.
When a guy does NOT develop his inner game and
instead just tries to use pick up artist lines or cheesy
tactics to get a woman to do something, she can
ALWAYS detect the LACK of inner game and it just
pushes a woman AWAY.
To be blunt, Inner Game is what RULES.
For the most powerful INNER GAME program on Earth
that will SKYROCKET your success with women, I
suggest you get my ‘Inner Game’ DVD Set, called
‘Warrior Within’. This program is an absolute MUST
for any man who is serious about getting and keeping
a fantastic woman.
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S.
You can take a look at ALL my programs for ensuring
your success with women by going here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php
Till next time,
Michael Marks
