look now, you hear the word “romance” and
romantic, etc, etc.
But what REALLY is “romance”?
What makes women really FEEL that they are
experiencing an earth-shaking ROMANCE?
One of the MAJOR keys to this is something
known as SEXUAL TENSION.
Sexual tension is the FOUNDATION for every
effective romantic story from the beginning of
time right up till today.
The best way to understand sexual tension is
to see it as the OBSTACLE between FEELING
sexual desire and being able to FULFILL that
feeling.
The OBSTACLE is what actually makes the
desire even STRONGER.
In the classic story of Romeo and Juliet, the
OBSTACLE between them is that they come
from enemy families.
In the movie Titanic, Jack and Rose are
separated by CLASS.
The element of sexual tension is so powerful
that TONS of stories incorporate it into their
MAIN story.
Of course, this is the case as well in the
story and film 50 Shades of Grey - in fact
the whole ESSENCE of the male lead in the
story is that he's is not "a hearts and flowers
kind of guy".
He is the proverbial guy referred to by the quote:
"I'm the guy your mother warned you about."
Since he's NOT a "hearts and flowers guy",
he is NOT easy to get. Thus, there is
TENSION.
Plus, of course, rather than be politically correct,
he actually is assertive in bed and not into things
like typical feminism, to say the least.
And women vote with their wallets, since this book
has been a best-seller for women and has been
translated into over 50 languages.
Of course, the press and most media and of course
feminist groups will say how horrible it all is, but
in the end, actions speak, and they the truth speaks
volumes.
Ironically, it is the feminist brainwashing of men
to KISS UP and to do the OPPOSITE of sexual
tension that actually ROBS women of the chance
to feel DESIRE for most men!
Now don't get me wrong, it's not about being
ABUSIVE, just about making things INTERESTING
enough to get a woman LONGING for you,
CRAVING for you.
In the film Top Gun, the chemistry between Maverick
and the sexy older female flight instructor (Charlie)
is HEATED UP by the fact they should NOT
be engaging in a non-professional relationship.
This obstacle makes it HARDER for them to
get together, so that when they finally DO,
they are EVEN MORE nuts about each
other and the passion then explodes in
full force!
Sexual tension always works because we always
APPRECIATE something MORE when we
DON’T get it easily.
In fact, today I saw an interview with a couple that
has been happily married for over 40 years. They
are still in love and still hold hands.
When asked what he thinks is the reason so many
people can’t make relationships work today, his
answer was simple: “They have it too good”.
He and his wife met after having both their families
entirely wiped out during WWII. They were so
happy to both have a chance to live a life, that they
both APPRECIATED the opportunity enough to
never take it for granted.
By the way, of course, this is NOT to say that you should
STICK with someone who is not treating you right or
where there's genuinely no compatibility.
And, I’m not saying that everyone has to put
themselves through SUFFERING in order to
really PUMP UP the maximum amount of
DESIRE, however it IS crucial to understand
that the more POWER someone has, the LESS
likely he or she is to think something is so great.
So, if you take a typical attractive woman who grew up
in a feminist society, the fact is, when it comes to
CHOICE of men, she feels NO TENSION AT ALL
because men are KISSING UP ALL THE TIME to her.
Most men make it SO easy for women, that it’s
not FUN for these women.
There’s no DYNAMIC in place to help these hotties
experience the CHALLENGE so that they can then
ENJOY the REWARD of getting that man!
So THAT is why it’s so important that IF you want
to get a super-hottie, you have to step OUT of your
mind set and into HER mind-set, just to EXPERIENCE
what that really FEELS like and MEANS.
Listen, I really LOVE the idea of being in a
great relationship. I LOVE romance.
The problem is most men think of ROMANCE in terms
of how good it would be to GET the woman, not in terms
of how much fun it would be make the PROCESS exciting.
That’s because the typical guy’s mindset is that
just GETTING her would be ENOUGH!
There is such a SCARCITY mindset, that indeed,
he WOULD appreciate her and be happy!
He's flying on a different mental ALTITUDE
than the woman is! They are on two different
dimensions, different plains of existence, they
can't VIBE with each other.However, if he really KNEW he could get
LOTS of women, then he would make the
PROCESS of getting a woman a lot more
FUN for both her AND him.
This would be because he would not feel
the need to try to ACCELERATE the process
of “winning her over”, and IRONICALLY
this in itself IS the accelerator of getting her
won over!
So what are some examples of OBSTACLES
that you can create that BLOCK a woman from
“getting you” even as you also simultaneously
chase her?
One example includes PLAYFUL TEASING.
If you meet a woman who is not very confident,
Now, it’s important to calibrate this properly:
you will HURT her feelings and make her feel
INSECURE.
If you meet a woman who is SUPER CONFIDENT,
she will EAT IT UP and love you for it because
she finally feels that element of challenge.
So for example, I remember being on the bus once
and this super hottie got on, and she was taking
forever to find her change for the fare.
So while their was this awkward silence, I just
had fun with it, and told her that I bet she does
this on every route, stalling till it’s time to get
off the bus, and that she hasn’t paid the fare in
years!
She went from having this uncomfortable look on
her face, to at first having her jaw drop, then look
at me, then protest that it’s not true, and then she
MELTED into a smile and I told her that I’d
be willing to sit with her to keep her company
since no one else really wanted to talk to her
type.
This was a MIXED type of message, since on
one hand OBVIOUSLY I am not being mean
because it’s not TRUE, but on the other hand
it’s the kind of thing that is NOT what most
guys’ INSTINCT tells them to do.
Their INSTINCT tells them to try to HELP her,
i.e. possibly pay her fare for her, or to try to
console her and help her NOT get embarrassed.
But they forget that this woman is in many ways
a POWERHOUSE.
Yes, she has feelings.
Yes, she should not be mistreated.
However, when you are dealing with a POWERHOUSE,
YOU DON’T HAVE TO TREAT HER WITH THE
KID-GLOVES!
It’s not FUN for her.
Imagine if you were Superman and the only sports
teams you could play against were HUMAN.
It wouldn’t be FUN.
You wouldn’t enjoy WINNING.
You’d want to play against some SUPER BAD-ASSES.
That way, WINNING would MEAN something.
Here’s another point about sexual tension:
It’s not just in your WORDS.
Rather, it is applied to EVERYTHING you do.
So, for example, if you are on a date with a woman,
there can be SUBTLE sexual tension simply by
sitting together on the edge of your bed, and talking
about ANYTHING.
The mere fact you and her are on the BED together
while you DON’T try to jump her bones is actually
a lot HOTTER than if you immediately tried to
get all naked with her.
It’s a subtle look on your expression, in your tonality,
that implies you KNOW things are sexual, but that
you are not going to tell her exactly when it’s going
to happen.
You aren’t making yourself that EASY.
It's 'so close, yet so far'.
The fact that physical intimacy is so CLOSE
but that you are NOT jumping on the opportunity
makes it all the more DESIRABLE.
Of course, this only works if it's ALSO clear that
you are not lacking the CONFIDENCE to make
a move.
It must be clear from your overall behavior
with her that it is your DECISION to hold
back, and it's not the fear of rejection.
It's you being in control of your desire
and not a slave to it.
By the way, I learned some of this from women
a long time ago.
I remember one girl who would be in middle of
making out, and then PURPOSELY talk about
something completely different, and playfully
say, “Want to play CHESS? Chess is a good game!”
She KNEW that by STOPPING the physical,
it only made the desire STRONGER and
made me even MORE NUTS about her.
It's a "sweet torture", and most women really
DO love to GET this.
I doubt that she knew that there is actually a term
for this proven psychological principle at play here,
and it is called FRACTIONATION.
Fractionation is when you split up the sexual actions
over TIME rather than going for it all at ONCE.
By STOPPING, and then RE-ENGAGING a few
minutes LATER, or even a few MOMENTS later,
especially when you make it so that she can’t fully
KNOW when you are going to start again, you
INTENSIFY the sexual experience for her.
Of course, once she is GRINDING against you
hard-core, you should probably dive into sex
with her with wild abandon!
You can incorporate this into your initial
approach with her as well. For example,
giving her a HUG when she tells you
something that you approve of, i.e. that
she has the entire ROCKY collection at
home! Then, in middle of the hug, you
can STOP it before she can expect, and
say, “WAIT! I don’t KNOW you yet!
Slow down!”
The key here is to be operating from a standpoint
of GOODWILL, CONFIDENCE, ADVENTURE,
and FUN.
This is NOT about how to HURT a woman.
Remember, in order to make this all work, you
must be careful to GAUGE her reactions and
ADJUST to what actually makes it FUN for her.
Here’s the other thing:
The more that YOU YOURSELF can enter the
same kind of POWERHOUSE mentality that
SHE has, the BETTER you will do, and the
MORE YOU WILL ACTUALLY ENJOY
life too!
And if you’d like to learn MORE about this
and TONS of crucial RELATED concepts
to SKYROCKETING women’s attraction
to you, you can now check out a free audio
sample of my Attraction Mastery Program at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
This program is SERIOUS attraction technology.
It WILL change EVERYTHING when it comes
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The Attraction Mastery Program is a workhorse,
it keeps giving you PURE GOLD strategies and
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It’s TEN HOURS of cream of the crop attraction
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Once again, it’s at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my program
"Attraction Accelerators" then definitely
do that now, as it goes together PERFECTLY
with the Attraction Mastery Program.
It's at:
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And of course, for my BOOTCAMP PROGRAM where I will
teach you IN THE FIELD, go HERE:
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Till next time,
Michael Marks
