Behold, there is a way to trigger attraction
without sacrificing who YOU are.
It's called, get ready for it:
DROP THE "I'M SO COOL" ACT.
Don't kiss up.
But don't try to be so "cool" either.
Almost every “system” out there attempts to
remold you into a supposedly “alpha male”
stereotype that is often too simplistic to
PRACTICALLY apply in real life.
For example, you are told to “be alpha”.
Then you see this girl on the street you’d like to
chat up. So you think, “be alpha”.
Okay, now what?
What are you supposed to do?
Drag her by the hair to your cave?
Frown at her?
Just tell her you want her number?
And what if you have nothing at the moment
to tease her playfully on?
Are you suddenly up a creek without a paddle?
What if you didn’t have to worry about
what you said to open up the conversation
because YOU UNDERSTOOD things about
women and human beings, including yourself,
on such a high level, that you could EASILY
come up with a thousand things that felt
perfectly NATURAL to say that would work
just fine? And how would you feel if a huge
part of the reason this all worked was because
of the way YOU naturally are, the person behind
the words, instead of the learned technique?
And how would you feel if you knew you
had it all under control, in terms of how to
lead the situation from one stage to the next?
One of the critical components to making all
this work without having to be somebody else,
rests in learning to revel in and unleash your
IDENTITY, including the times that you
feel the desire to MASK it with everything
you’ve got.
I’m not a particularly huge fan of Woody Allen
movies, but there is one very interesting dynamic
to all his movies that has a lot of relevance to
attraction. His character doesn’t change, regardless
of the film, regardless of whether he’s with some
friend or talking to some gorgeous woman, he
doesn’t change. He may be neurotic as hell about
a lot of other things, (and he may do things otherwise
that are counter to attraction) but he doesn’t
mask his personality to any of the other characters.
That says in a very EFFECTIVE, EMOTIONALLY
STIMULATING WAY, that he has VALUE.
That he is desirable enough that he DOESN’T
HAVE TO HIDE HIS PERSONALITY,
EVEN IF IT HAS SOME FLAWS.
(Which isn’t to say that a guy shouldn’t work
on improving himself, and in fact this is
part of the whole point of being your best
self.)
There is coolness in this trait.
Ironically, a guy who keeps trying to “act cool”
comes across as far more of a dweeb than a guy
who at first glance may dress as a dweeb but
when he opens his mouth and he talks and interacts,
is clearly allowing his personality to shine through
without fear.
Now, of course, there is a difference between
being yourself based on IGNORANCE and
being yourself based on KNOWLEDGE.
In my programs, I work on providing you the
KNOWLEDGE and EXPERIENCE so that
you can apply it in a way that you can still be
YOURSELF.
I believe that every person has tons of cool things
about them. You can’t help it, being a human being
is a pretty cool thing because we are constantly learning
things even if we aren’t trying. Now, some things
are more practical than others, but if you’ve been
on the planet for a bit, even for only 18 years, that’s
18 years of soaking in experiences, like school,
bullies, friends, disappointment, people who are
creepy, heartbreak, joy, helping others, etc, etc.
All stuff which makes you grow character.
And of course if you’ve been around longer,
that’s more experience to enhance your personality.
One of the elements I work on with clients is bringing
out the infinite power of their buried identities.
It is CRUCIAL FOR ATTRACTION to unleash
the identity that is HIDING behind the MASK.
Ever notice one of the elements that is common to
just about every truly great movie character?
The character’s FLAWS are not hidden.
They make his or her strengths seem more special.
More real. More admirable.
In the original movie, Rocky isn’t a rocket scientist,
and he made quite a few mistakes in his life.
But when he got the chance to make something
out of his life, and to fill up the gaps in his life,
damn he put his heart and soul into it, and was
determined to “go the distance".
His “going the distance” is more attractive
because of his other flaws.
No one is perfect, no one.
And deep down, we all know this.
So guys who try too hard to be perfect are
CLEARLY covering something up.
And THAT is uncool.
But guys get so caught up on wanting to make
a great impression, that their impression is
so sterilized, so anti-septic, so devoid of
“potentially damaging” content, that there is
NOTHING left. No “juice” left to the vibe.
It’s important to give people the chance
to see your flaws. Give them a chance
to REJECT you. Don’t go out of you way
to screw yourself up, but a flaw can often
be your best friend if it came out naturally.
More importantly, if you’re “in” and accepted
with your flaw, you will feel so much more
connected to the woman you are with. As
opposed to hiding it and living that kind
of attitude of fear.
This is not just about HOW to get women.
It’s about HOW to get the RIGHT women.
For this is the only way to truly give a chance
for REAL acceptance.
Of course, you need to be your BEST,
but that does not mean trying to come
across as perfect or fake or hiding
things about yourself.
And think about it:
If you give a woman a chance to reject you,
let’s say, by allowing your crazy sense of
humor to come through, or your personal
ideas about something else intriguing,
you are actually saying that you have enough
self worth to be prepared to accept someone’s
else’s rejection of you. And THAT actually
effectively, EMOTIONALLY, INDIRECTLY,
says that you DO have value.
This is very powerful stuff, and has implications
on many levels of communication.
Almost every song or movie in many ways one
can say has been done before, but what HASN’T
been done before, the part that actually IMPACTS
people, is the part where the artist REVEALS
VULNERABILITIES and yet is NOT AFRAID
TO REVEAL THEM, (thus a “proof” of their
OVERALL value that they can absorb the
impact of this flaw) and the WAY those
vulnerabilities are presented.
Again, this actually attests to being SECURE AND
HAVING VALUE. But it has to be done in a
non-apologetic way.
This is a very deep topic, but I hope I have
given some insight into it here.
Only if you have enough self-security in your
identity can you even go to the point of allowing
yourself to be embarrassed.
The other day I was having a conversation with
someone who told me about a quote from
Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino said something like,
“If you haven’t written something that embarrasses
you in your writing, then you haven’t done your job”.
EVERYONE TRIES TO ACT SO COOL, THAT WE ALL
KNOW THIS 'COOL' STUFF IS AN ACT, AND IT'S
A SIGN OF INSECURITY.
So, to a woman, if you are willing to put yourself
out there, it says EMOTIONALLY, INDIRECTLY, in
a powerful way, that you believe you have worth.
And the thing is, it’s because you are NOT saying
anything about your worth, in fact you are
SO COMFORTABLE AND RELAXED you don’t mind to
“screw up” or possibly reveal that you are
“not so perfect” and THAT actually makes you
come across as the REAL DEAL.
The truly superior deal.
Unlike every guy who tries to sell themselves as “special”.
And you can’t fake “being real”.
You can’t fake it any more than you can fake a great
movie, a great song, a great work of art.
When it’s really great, everyone feels it,
and when it’s imitation stuff, everyone
feels it as well.
Often, in bootcamps, I will do some pretty spontaneous
things, that I’m NOT SURE WILL “WORK”. I will do
these things because I’m really not trying to be somebody
else. I'm being honest to my thoughts and feelings, and
sometimes that might involve doing things like singing
not-so-professionally, etc.
One of the keys to this is to make sure that you
are not in the wrong state of mind, otherwise
all the honest stuff in the world will just reveal
that you honestly are not any fun to be around.
This is one of the powerful benefits to your
training that you get from taking BOOTCAMP
with me, because you get to EXPERIENCE
it all LIVE. I ensure that you actually LIVE
these words and don't just read them.
Once you EXPERIENCE results, it's easy
to DUPLICATE your results again, because
your mind now has a powerful MEMORY
of success rooted deeply inside of it,
making it easy to empower yourself
again and again in the future.
Plus, you remember the exact DETAILS
subconsciously, the exact subtle things
that helped you succeed, and you
instinctively APPLY them without
even thinking the next time you need
to when you see a woman you'd like
to approach.
On the topic of pushing your own comfort zone
and being comfortable conveying your identity,
there was once a movie with Cameron Diaz,
where her character is being set up to look like
a fool through singing karaoke.
The movie is called “My Best Friend’s Wedding”.
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s a 'chick flick'.
I enjoyed it.
(Hint, hint, do I try to pretend I only watch
RAMBO, even with women? Am I trying to be
ultra-COOL???)
Anyway, the thing is, Julia Robert’s character
wants to make Diaz’s character look bad.
But when Cameron’s character gets up there
on stage, even though she is not a great singer,
she TOTALLY GOES FOR IT, she gives it
her best and ENJOYS IT, she isn’t afraid of
screwing it all up. She is a real sport about her
own flaws and doesn’t hide from them.
Very cool, whether you are a guy or gal.
In fact, I’ve learned a TON about how girls act
comfortable, and realized how much GUYS can learn
from this. I’ve seen girls do all kinds of silly
things, from singing badly to dancing badly
and it was clear that they couldn’t sing better
and that they couldn’t dance better, and yet
they did it all anyway on purpose to just
be comfortable and relaxed and be themselves
and also they were “putting themselves out
there” being a bit vulnerable. It says a lot
of subtle things, good things.
And it’s actually quite an attractive trait
when done right.
This goes hand in hand with not being focused
on rejection, because you are actually GIVING
PEOPLE THE CHANCE TO REJECT THE REAL YOU.
If you give a woman a “chance to reject you”,
(I’m NOT saying to TRY TO SCREW THINGS UP)
you are REALLY actually stating that rejection
isn’t a big deal.
And THAT says value, and it also is pretty
cool in the sense that you’re not making such a
big deal about HER.
Because if you WERE making her the entire
focus of your life, you wouldn’t allow the
chance for rejection, would you?
Cool guys allow themselves to get rejected.
The irony is, they rarely see things as them
being rejected, which in itself causes women
to do a double take, and actually DESIRE the guy.
Are you comfortable with your own identity?
If YOU are comfortable with it, it stirs a reframe
even on things that supposedly AREN’T cool.
Think that Star Wars is a turn off to women?
(Never mind the "prequels", although the
last prequel had some cool moments).
It's only a turn-off if you go around trying
to IMPRESS women with it, or EXPECTING
women to be into it as if YOU would be
interested in soap operas. (And I have known
several women who just happen to be
STRIKINGLY gorgeous and who happen
to dig Star Wars quite a bit.)
In fact, if you are a cool guy (which means secure in
your identity) and a woman knows you are into
something like Star Wars, you’d be surprised at how
much she might even get into it all on her own.
A powerful identity strikes a REFRAME on any
supposed negative aspect of one’s self.
It is part of the larger picture of charisma.
If you want to learn how to PUSH your own
COMFORT ZONE so that you can truly be your
most comfortable self even in the presence
of the most beautiful feminine creatures
on the planet, I have a program that will
help you do exactly that.
In this program, I interview a man who used
to be so anxious around women that he literally
was a virgin until 26 and thought he would never
become good with women EVER. He then learned
to open up his personality to women, which
included his off-the-wall sense of humor,
to the point he became so good with women he
was featured in a New York Times best-selling
book on the subject of being good with women.
Sometimes, it's important to reach for the
stars in order to reach for the moon. This
man REALLY pushes the comfort zone, far BEYOND
what you will EVER have to do, and this is
why listening to my interview with him will
ENSURE that you at LEAST learn to push your
own comfort zone to the level that you NEED
to do in order to succeed with women.
This is a very powerful program on becoming
SUPER COMFORTABLE with your identity, and on
increasing your confidence, especially on
improving your confident sense of HUMOR with
women, which is IMMENSELY helpful at ALL stages
of interacting with a woman, from 'breaking the ice'
with her when you approach her, all the way to
making her enjoy being with you in a relationship.
This important program is at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/confident-humor.html
I want to also remind you about my LIVE
bootcamp training program. Be efficient
in how you learn about dating! Attending
a bootcamp allows me to make specific
calibrations to your individual character
which makes a HUGE difference.
These one-on-one coached 'individualized tweaks' to
both your inner confidence and your 'outer game'
allow you to make the kind of SERIOUS progress
with women that you might very well men NEVER
make otherwise.
Learning this all on your own is often too time
consuming and difficult. Having me deliver
exactly what YOU need as opposed to what
anyone ELSE needs, will ensure that you
obtain full, fast, and lasting success in
dating and relationships.
My bootcamp program is at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Showing posts with label Identity Based Attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Identity Based Attraction. Show all posts
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Women And "Looks, Money, Power"
Looks.
Money.
Power.
If you’re like most guys, you probably think
that unless you have THOSE things, you
can’t attract a beautiful woman.
So let me be the guy who gives you the
TRUTH on these things.
The reality is that if you are a man, you
can make UP what you lack in one area
by being really awesome in ANOTHER
area.
In fact, even if you DON’T have “looks” “money”
or “power” you can attract a woman based
on something else:
A CHARISMATIC, UNSTOPPABLE IDENTITY
This is how to attract a woman, through using
"Identity Based Attraction."
And most guys never realize that this stuff is REAL.
It WORKS.
Now, the crazy thing is, that once you have
THIS identity developed, you actually become
far more empowered, creative, and resourceful,
and soon you’re making money and gaining power
as well, all as a by-product of this personality
development.
It's not a coincidence that guys that do well
with women can easily make money if they
ever decide to apply that part of their brain,
because it all boils down to the same traits.
The positive sexual energy you get from being
with a woman you are attracted to, it's like suddenly
your entire internal being is CHARGED with
electricity and you can do anything, and it doesn’t
even take being a jerk to do it, in fact this is
another secret, that you can succeed without
being a jerk, all as a byproduct of this charisma.
That’s the way life works, things are all connected.
So let’s get into HOW TO DISPLAY THESE
CHARISMATIC TRAITS, AND ALSO HOW
TO DEVELOP THEM IN YOURSELF FOR
REAL.
These are the CORE COMPONENTS of what
it takes to be successful with women, even if
you DON’T have looks, money, power, etc.
NUMBER 1:
"BRING IT ON"
The number one thing is that your attitude
must FLIP from “how do I avoid PAIN here
from approaching her, or from being rejected,
or from anything else” to “BRING IT ON!!!”
BRING ON THE "PAIN"
because the "pain" is BULLSHIT.
Trust me, next to the REAL kinds of
pain in this world, that kind of pain
is a JOKE.
Ninety-nine percent of guys want to avoid pain
so badly that even if they happen to look like
MALE MODELS WITH LOTS OF MONEY
they will do almost ANYTHING to avoid
the possibility of pain. That’s why they don’t
tend to APPROACH women, they’d rather just
take whichever women happen to come THEIR
way.
Think about it, it’s just human nature to always
take the path of LEAST RESISTANCE.
LAZINESS.
So, if you are willing to RESIST that temptation,
you already bring yourself into a WAY HIGHER
category of gains for yourself when it comes to
women.
Stallone said it best in his latest Rocky- “Life isn’t
about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you
can GET hit, and keep on moving forward”.
So, while it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE that women
who are attractive get “hit on” a LOT, a lot of this
“getting hit on” happens in very pathetic ways, i.e.
on the internet, where it takes less guts to approach
a woman, and why most women who are attractive
don’t take the internet seriously for dating because
they get overwhelmed with THOUSANDS of
responses from guys, (the last survey reported
1296 hits a DAY for a new woman) so the reality
though is:
In REAL LIFE, IT’S NOT SO EASY
FOR WOMEN WHO ARE ATTRACTIVE TO
ACTUALLY MEET GUYS WHO ARE COOL,
WHO HAVE THEIR ACT TOGETHER, WHO
ARE FUN TO BE WITH, WHO ARE MASCULINE,
ETC.
So, this BRING IT ON attitude is extremely important
and it also attractive in and of itself!!!
Let me give you another example of how the
BRING IT ON attitude is a huge key to being
successful with women.
For the reason I just mentioned before, a woman
who is attractive already gets a lot of attention,
mostly by guys who do NOT have the attractive
identity- and I assure you, that all the money
and power in the world will not go very far
with a woman who is attractive if the guy
doesn’t ALSO have the charismatic personality.
So, if you chat her up, and you ask for her
number, or her email, or you are about to meet
for your first date, you have to EXPECT that
she is going to test you to see if you are truly
“THE MAN” or not. What I mean by this,
is that she gets so much attention, she needs
to know if you really mean business or not.
She needs to determine if she is just the latest
woman you’ve done this on, and you’re not
really serious about pursuing HER, or if
you ARE indeed interested in pursuing HER,
as opposed to every woman you meet.
So, she might give you a bogus email.
You have to expect she might do this,
so if you actually TELL HER “hey, is this
a REAL email?” that in itself shows that
you are not afraid of checking to make sure
that you are not being treated like a fool,
you are also showing that you have
EXPERIENCE which itself shows that
you are NOT A QUITTER, etc.
Remember, if this woman is attractive, she is
BOMBARDED with the wrong attention.
She needs to screen guys OUT, and if you’re
the weak type who avoids all potential pain,
then you’ll never get a CHANCE even.
And it’s not her fault.
It’s NOT the same thing for men and women.
For whatever reason, a woman who is attractive
Gets BOMBARDED with attention, most of it
UNQUALIFIED and UNWANTED.
It’s also part of the culture that men actively
do the pursuing in the initial stages of the
dating process. So if you complain to the
gods above that life isn’t fair, this isn’t
going to help you, this is just the way it
is.
Things even out though, later, because
HOLDING ONTO A GREAT GUY is
really hard for women, so a great woman
will work hard to keep a great guy as well.
The problem for her is FINDING a great
guy and SCREENING him out from the
THOUSANDS of guys pursuing her.
So, as a man, you have to EMBRACE the
"emotional risk” of approaching a woman,
you have to EMBRACE the risk of looking
“stupid” or whatever else your mind is
making you FEAR or think about a lot.
The truth is, in my years of approaching
women, I’ve had approaches that went
wrong. And there were times that I had
ALL THE FEARS and MORE that every
guy out there can THINK of, from thinking
that everyone on the train was watching
me, to thinking that maybe somehow the
cops were going to arrest me for chatting
to a woman.
And I actually over the YEARS had a few
really nasty women that clearly had issues
of their own.
But I EMBRACED IT ALL because any negative
reaction only FUELED ME TO WANT SUCCESS
EVEN MORE, and the reality also is that one
interaction has ZERO to do with the next. This
really happened so many times in personal experience
and even in bootcamps it’s not funny.
So for example one approach CRASHES, then
the VERY NEXT approach with a different group
of women that are even more attractive LIGHTS UP
and goes AMAZING , where the women are so into it,
that it ends up WE have to get going because we still
have more bootcamp training to do (of course, first
we get the numbers of the women and plan for a
future meet-up of course.)
Imagine if we had decided to quit after the
first time things didn't go right.
So change your attitude from “How do I avoid
this emotional risk?” to BRING IT ON.
IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET RESULTS
WITH WOMEN, AND IT’S AN ATTRACTIVE
TRAIT AS WELL
NUMBER 2:
"REACT PROPERLY TO INITIAL SET-BACKS"
Related to the above, if a woman who you barely
know and just met does any of the following
things, DON’T FORGET HER SO FAST.
So for example, she gives you a real number
and she talks to you on the phone, and then she
doesn’t show up for the first date.
REMEMBER, you’re a TOTAL stranger who
managed to get her interested enough to give
her real number to you.
By the time the date came around, it’s possible
she’s wondering if she’s crazy for doing this.
This is why you should always CONFIRM
the meet-up the night before, so that she sees
you are taking it genuinely, and it also gives
you more leverage, after all she doesn’t want
to seem like a flake in case you ARE that
cool guy she initially thought you were.
CONFIRMING this also shows a bit of leadership
that you are not just waiting back passively.
It also allows you to give her another dosage
of your personality by having an emotionally
relevant message that you left on her email
or voice mail, etc, to refresh her mind of
how cool of a guy you are. (especially if
it's compelling or humoros as I explain
how to do in my materials).
If you don’t confirm, she will often take this
to mean you are not serious about meeting
up with her.
Here’s another example:
When a woman meets a guy who is a total stranger,
she may give him an old email address, in case he
turns out not to be a cool guy, this way she can
ignore him later – (remember, she’s dealing
with HUNDREDS of strangers who are trying
to get into her pants, okay? And she has no real
solid idea bout you yet, she just met you)
So if the email bounces or whatever, don’t hit the
roof just yet. If you meet her again, calmly bring
it up. Make fun of it, telling her that she’s a great
actress or that she must be a criminal with several
identities and aliases and that you’re a NARC
undercover, and she’s under arrest.
Keep it playful, this shows you indeed ARE
THE MAN who has other things going on in his
life besides framing his whole schedule around one
woman’s email, a woman who is a total stranger.
You will probably notice that indeed NOTHING
nasty was meant by it, and that she didn’t even
know that your messages were getting bounced.
The thing to be KEEPING IN MIND is that until
a woman really KNOWS you, you are just one
of MANY MANY GUYS out there, many of
whom are CREEPY GUYS. So if you get
UPSET at any of this process, you’ll just
seem like yet another one of those creepy guys.
However, if you stay totally UNAFFECTED and
in fact have a sense of humor about it, then this
in ITSELF shows her that indeed you are probably
a desirable guy with many options with women
yourself, and that you just happened to find HER
a little more interesting than perhaps some of
the other women you already know.
THAT makes her feel a lot more attracted to
you, knowing that you have already been
screened out as DESIRABLE by other women.
So you have to know how important it is to
have the RIGHT REACTIONS internally
and externally to the initial things that
don’t go “smooth” in the very beginning of
the dating process.
BE THE MAN WHO PLOWS RIGHT AHEAD
THROUGH THE BARRIERS AND DOES NOT
LET ANYTHING STOP HIM.
It’s very DIFFERENT once she already knows
you and you know her- at that point, you should
both be treating each other the way you treat
a real friend. And more, of course, if you’re
getting intimate and physical with each other.
NUMBER 3:
"MAKE YOUR LIFE COMPELLING"
If you’re not living a compelling life,
then you need to change that right now.
Think about the things you care about,
and start IMMERSING yourself in those
things.
This doesn’t have to be limited to your career.
If it is, that’s great, but if it isn’t that’s fine too.
Whether it’s a fascination with art, science,
literature, even cooking, the reality is that
ALL THESE THINGS CAN BE COMPELLING
IF YOU YOURSELF FIND IT COMPELLING.
In fact, if you are immersed into anything
that you are passionate about, you BECOME
that thing to others.
So for example, if you love comedy, then
it’s not just that you say jokes, it’s that you
yourself actually BECOME an entity of
good vibes.
If you love cooking desserts, you can probably
talk about some chocolate soufflé in a way
that makes her mouth water.
If you are into helping the planet earth, that’s
cool too of course. The thing is, that you must
truly ENJOY IT, don’t just do it for brownie
points with her- that would not work and in
fact is a form of kissing up and making yourself
inferior. The idea is to be so compelling that you
actually suck her into a VORTEX of your reality,
a reality that is so charged and feels so good,
so exciting, so different, that she doesn’t want
to ever leave.
If you feel you have very few things you're interested
in, then definitely it's time you started exploring different
hobbies. Keep an open mind, an open mind is also
something more women wish men had.
This way, you’ll have tons of things to talk
about that separate you from everyone else.
NUMBER 4:
"SLOW IT DOWN"
It’s often a knee-jerk reaction when seeing
a woman who is so beautiful you feel like
you’re being connected to a billion volts
of electric energy, that you just start talking
too fast.
So SLOW YOURSELF DOWN on purpose
if you have to. You’ll find this helps you
not only SOUND better, but also helps you
regain EMOTIONAL CONTROL over your
own state of mind.
This way, you also won’t end up saying things
that make absolutely no sense (which is what
guys actually do very often when talking to
a woman who is attractive, the guy loses
half his mental capacities and starts to
actually screw up the grammatical
syntax of whatever he’s talking about).
Believe me, it’s much much better if you
can avoid the “tongue tied because she’s
so beautiful” thing.
NUMBER 5:
"FIND OUT WHO SHE IS"
YOU are the MAN.
The last thing she wants is to feel SHE is
the one who must lead the show or to help
YOU calm down.
So here’s another thing to help you stay calm:
Realize that as beautiful as she is, you really
have NO IDEA about the rest of her.
And as a man with STANDARDS, YOU SHOULD
GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW IF THIS WOMAN
IS EVEN WORTH YOUR TIME.
You have no idea if she has an interesting
personality. You have no idea if she is
a gold-digger, you have no idea if she
is incompatible with you in so many ways.
So why approach her as if she’s PERFECT when
in reality she’s probably not PERFECT. No one
is perfect, so knowing this should help you speak
to her like she’s a real person and not an angel
sent from heaven to rescue you from anything.
In fact, if you need “rescuing” from anything,
you’ll have LESS chances of succeeding with
her. When I finally got rid of ALL my neediness
for women’s attention, it helped me so much
because I knew that women were just one
part of life, and that they could not give me
all the other things I value.
No woman wants to be THE MEANING of your
entire life, as if you would be a VACUUM of
nothingness without her, and I mean a vacuum
emotionally, internally, and a vacuum externally,
where you have not developed a lifestyle for
yourself that you find interesting and compelling.
The more unique you are, the better.
Think about the celebrities who captured our
imaginations the most- it was always and is
always the ones who were DIFFERENT, they
were not just carbon-copy cookie-cutter cutouts,
from Michael Jackson to Elton John.
Is it any wonder “Lady GaGa” is currently
smoking out the likes of Britney Spears?
It’s because LG is DIFFERENT.
Green Day, same thing, they aren’t the same
cookie-cutter boy’s band. They are DISTINCT.
So, once you learn how to project your best self,
your unique qualities will then serve you to make
you BETTER than any other guy.
And if you’re reading this right now, you’re
just seeing the tip of the iceberg. To be at your
BEST and put it all into action, it really helps
to get all the DETAILS on what to do, so that
you have an exact PLAN for what to do when
you meet that striking woman, anywhere, and
for what to do to KEEP her interested in you.
The first thing I suggest is that you get my
MASTERY PROGRAM. This program includes
over ten HOURS of my cream-of-the-crop strategies
for approaching women anywhere, and for
skyrocketing your inner game, as well as for how
to KEEP a woman attracted to you long term as well.
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my book,
“Get A Great Girl”, then do that immediately at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S.
To check out ALL my programs for meeting
and keeping the women of your DREAMS, go to:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.html
Money.
Power.
If you’re like most guys, you probably think
that unless you have THOSE things, you
can’t attract a beautiful woman.
So let me be the guy who gives you the
TRUTH on these things.
The reality is that if you are a man, you
can make UP what you lack in one area
by being really awesome in ANOTHER
area.
In fact, even if you DON’T have “looks” “money”
or “power” you can attract a woman based
on something else:
A CHARISMATIC, UNSTOPPABLE IDENTITY
This is how to attract a woman, through using
"Identity Based Attraction."
And most guys never realize that this stuff is REAL.
It WORKS.
Now, the crazy thing is, that once you have
THIS identity developed, you actually become
far more empowered, creative, and resourceful,
and soon you’re making money and gaining power
as well, all as a by-product of this personality
development.
It's not a coincidence that guys that do well
with women can easily make money if they
ever decide to apply that part of their brain,
because it all boils down to the same traits.
The positive sexual energy you get from being
with a woman you are attracted to, it's like suddenly
your entire internal being is CHARGED with
electricity and you can do anything, and it doesn’t
even take being a jerk to do it, in fact this is
another secret, that you can succeed without
being a jerk, all as a byproduct of this charisma.
That’s the way life works, things are all connected.
So let’s get into HOW TO DISPLAY THESE
CHARISMATIC TRAITS, AND ALSO HOW
TO DEVELOP THEM IN YOURSELF FOR
REAL.
These are the CORE COMPONENTS of what
it takes to be successful with women, even if
you DON’T have looks, money, power, etc.
NUMBER 1:
"BRING IT ON"
The number one thing is that your attitude
must FLIP from “how do I avoid PAIN here
from approaching her, or from being rejected,
or from anything else” to “BRING IT ON!!!”
BRING ON THE "PAIN"
because the "pain" is BULLSHIT.
Trust me, next to the REAL kinds of
pain in this world, that kind of pain
is a JOKE.
Ninety-nine percent of guys want to avoid pain
so badly that even if they happen to look like
MALE MODELS WITH LOTS OF MONEY
they will do almost ANYTHING to avoid
the possibility of pain. That’s why they don’t
tend to APPROACH women, they’d rather just
take whichever women happen to come THEIR
way.
Think about it, it’s just human nature to always
take the path of LEAST RESISTANCE.
LAZINESS.
So, if you are willing to RESIST that temptation,
you already bring yourself into a WAY HIGHER
category of gains for yourself when it comes to
women.
Stallone said it best in his latest Rocky- “Life isn’t
about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you
can GET hit, and keep on moving forward”.
So, while it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE that women
who are attractive get “hit on” a LOT, a lot of this
“getting hit on” happens in very pathetic ways, i.e.
on the internet, where it takes less guts to approach
a woman, and why most women who are attractive
don’t take the internet seriously for dating because
they get overwhelmed with THOUSANDS of
responses from guys, (the last survey reported
1296 hits a DAY for a new woman) so the reality
though is:
In REAL LIFE, IT’S NOT SO EASY
FOR WOMEN WHO ARE ATTRACTIVE TO
ACTUALLY MEET GUYS WHO ARE COOL,
WHO HAVE THEIR ACT TOGETHER, WHO
ARE FUN TO BE WITH, WHO ARE MASCULINE,
ETC.
So, this BRING IT ON attitude is extremely important
and it also attractive in and of itself!!!
Let me give you another example of how the
BRING IT ON attitude is a huge key to being
successful with women.
For the reason I just mentioned before, a woman
who is attractive already gets a lot of attention,
mostly by guys who do NOT have the attractive
identity- and I assure you, that all the money
and power in the world will not go very far
with a woman who is attractive if the guy
doesn’t ALSO have the charismatic personality.
So, if you chat her up, and you ask for her
number, or her email, or you are about to meet
for your first date, you have to EXPECT that
she is going to test you to see if you are truly
“THE MAN” or not. What I mean by this,
is that she gets so much attention, she needs
to know if you really mean business or not.
She needs to determine if she is just the latest
woman you’ve done this on, and you’re not
really serious about pursuing HER, or if
you ARE indeed interested in pursuing HER,
as opposed to every woman you meet.
So, she might give you a bogus email.
You have to expect she might do this,
so if you actually TELL HER “hey, is this
a REAL email?” that in itself shows that
you are not afraid of checking to make sure
that you are not being treated like a fool,
you are also showing that you have
EXPERIENCE which itself shows that
you are NOT A QUITTER, etc.
Remember, if this woman is attractive, she is
BOMBARDED with the wrong attention.
She needs to screen guys OUT, and if you’re
the weak type who avoids all potential pain,
then you’ll never get a CHANCE even.
And it’s not her fault.
It’s NOT the same thing for men and women.
For whatever reason, a woman who is attractive
Gets BOMBARDED with attention, most of it
UNQUALIFIED and UNWANTED.
It’s also part of the culture that men actively
do the pursuing in the initial stages of the
dating process. So if you complain to the
gods above that life isn’t fair, this isn’t
going to help you, this is just the way it
is.
Things even out though, later, because
HOLDING ONTO A GREAT GUY is
really hard for women, so a great woman
will work hard to keep a great guy as well.
The problem for her is FINDING a great
guy and SCREENING him out from the
THOUSANDS of guys pursuing her.
So, as a man, you have to EMBRACE the
"emotional risk” of approaching a woman,
you have to EMBRACE the risk of looking
“stupid” or whatever else your mind is
making you FEAR or think about a lot.
The truth is, in my years of approaching
women, I’ve had approaches that went
wrong. And there were times that I had
ALL THE FEARS and MORE that every
guy out there can THINK of, from thinking
that everyone on the train was watching
me, to thinking that maybe somehow the
cops were going to arrest me for chatting
to a woman.
And I actually over the YEARS had a few
really nasty women that clearly had issues
of their own.
But I EMBRACED IT ALL because any negative
reaction only FUELED ME TO WANT SUCCESS
EVEN MORE, and the reality also is that one
interaction has ZERO to do with the next. This
really happened so many times in personal experience
and even in bootcamps it’s not funny.
So for example one approach CRASHES, then
the VERY NEXT approach with a different group
of women that are even more attractive LIGHTS UP
and goes AMAZING , where the women are so into it,
that it ends up WE have to get going because we still
have more bootcamp training to do (of course, first
we get the numbers of the women and plan for a
future meet-up of course.)
Imagine if we had decided to quit after the
first time things didn't go right.
So change your attitude from “How do I avoid
this emotional risk?” to BRING IT ON.
IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET RESULTS
WITH WOMEN, AND IT’S AN ATTRACTIVE
TRAIT AS WELL
NUMBER 2:
"REACT PROPERLY TO INITIAL SET-BACKS"
Related to the above, if a woman who you barely
know and just met does any of the following
things, DON’T FORGET HER SO FAST.
So for example, she gives you a real number
and she talks to you on the phone, and then she
doesn’t show up for the first date.
REMEMBER, you’re a TOTAL stranger who
managed to get her interested enough to give
her real number to you.
By the time the date came around, it’s possible
she’s wondering if she’s crazy for doing this.
This is why you should always CONFIRM
the meet-up the night before, so that she sees
you are taking it genuinely, and it also gives
you more leverage, after all she doesn’t want
to seem like a flake in case you ARE that
cool guy she initially thought you were.
CONFIRMING this also shows a bit of leadership
that you are not just waiting back passively.
It also allows you to give her another dosage
of your personality by having an emotionally
relevant message that you left on her email
or voice mail, etc, to refresh her mind of
how cool of a guy you are. (especially if
it's compelling or humoros as I explain
how to do in my materials).
If you don’t confirm, she will often take this
to mean you are not serious about meeting
up with her.
Here’s another example:
When a woman meets a guy who is a total stranger,
she may give him an old email address, in case he
turns out not to be a cool guy, this way she can
ignore him later – (remember, she’s dealing
with HUNDREDS of strangers who are trying
to get into her pants, okay? And she has no real
solid idea bout you yet, she just met you)
So if the email bounces or whatever, don’t hit the
roof just yet. If you meet her again, calmly bring
it up. Make fun of it, telling her that she’s a great
actress or that she must be a criminal with several
identities and aliases and that you’re a NARC
undercover, and she’s under arrest.
Keep it playful, this shows you indeed ARE
THE MAN who has other things going on in his
life besides framing his whole schedule around one
woman’s email, a woman who is a total stranger.
You will probably notice that indeed NOTHING
nasty was meant by it, and that she didn’t even
know that your messages were getting bounced.
The thing to be KEEPING IN MIND is that until
a woman really KNOWS you, you are just one
of MANY MANY GUYS out there, many of
whom are CREEPY GUYS. So if you get
UPSET at any of this process, you’ll just
seem like yet another one of those creepy guys.
However, if you stay totally UNAFFECTED and
in fact have a sense of humor about it, then this
in ITSELF shows her that indeed you are probably
a desirable guy with many options with women
yourself, and that you just happened to find HER
a little more interesting than perhaps some of
the other women you already know.
THAT makes her feel a lot more attracted to
you, knowing that you have already been
screened out as DESIRABLE by other women.
So you have to know how important it is to
have the RIGHT REACTIONS internally
and externally to the initial things that
don’t go “smooth” in the very beginning of
the dating process.
BE THE MAN WHO PLOWS RIGHT AHEAD
THROUGH THE BARRIERS AND DOES NOT
LET ANYTHING STOP HIM.
It’s very DIFFERENT once she already knows
you and you know her- at that point, you should
both be treating each other the way you treat
a real friend. And more, of course, if you’re
getting intimate and physical with each other.
NUMBER 3:
"MAKE YOUR LIFE COMPELLING"
If you’re not living a compelling life,
then you need to change that right now.
Think about the things you care about,
and start IMMERSING yourself in those
things.
This doesn’t have to be limited to your career.
If it is, that’s great, but if it isn’t that’s fine too.
Whether it’s a fascination with art, science,
literature, even cooking, the reality is that
ALL THESE THINGS CAN BE COMPELLING
IF YOU YOURSELF FIND IT COMPELLING.
In fact, if you are immersed into anything
that you are passionate about, you BECOME
that thing to others.
So for example, if you love comedy, then
it’s not just that you say jokes, it’s that you
yourself actually BECOME an entity of
good vibes.
If you love cooking desserts, you can probably
talk about some chocolate soufflé in a way
that makes her mouth water.
If you are into helping the planet earth, that’s
cool too of course. The thing is, that you must
truly ENJOY IT, don’t just do it for brownie
points with her- that would not work and in
fact is a form of kissing up and making yourself
inferior. The idea is to be so compelling that you
actually suck her into a VORTEX of your reality,
a reality that is so charged and feels so good,
so exciting, so different, that she doesn’t want
to ever leave.
If you feel you have very few things you're interested
in, then definitely it's time you started exploring different
hobbies. Keep an open mind, an open mind is also
something more women wish men had.
This way, you’ll have tons of things to talk
about that separate you from everyone else.
NUMBER 4:
"SLOW IT DOWN"
It’s often a knee-jerk reaction when seeing
a woman who is so beautiful you feel like
you’re being connected to a billion volts
of electric energy, that you just start talking
too fast.
So SLOW YOURSELF DOWN on purpose
if you have to. You’ll find this helps you
not only SOUND better, but also helps you
regain EMOTIONAL CONTROL over your
own state of mind.
This way, you also won’t end up saying things
that make absolutely no sense (which is what
guys actually do very often when talking to
a woman who is attractive, the guy loses
half his mental capacities and starts to
actually screw up the grammatical
syntax of whatever he’s talking about).
Believe me, it’s much much better if you
can avoid the “tongue tied because she’s
so beautiful” thing.
NUMBER 5:
"FIND OUT WHO SHE IS"
YOU are the MAN.
The last thing she wants is to feel SHE is
the one who must lead the show or to help
YOU calm down.
So here’s another thing to help you stay calm:
Realize that as beautiful as she is, you really
have NO IDEA about the rest of her.
And as a man with STANDARDS, YOU SHOULD
GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW IF THIS WOMAN
IS EVEN WORTH YOUR TIME.
You have no idea if she has an interesting
personality. You have no idea if she is
a gold-digger, you have no idea if she
is incompatible with you in so many ways.
So why approach her as if she’s PERFECT when
in reality she’s probably not PERFECT. No one
is perfect, so knowing this should help you speak
to her like she’s a real person and not an angel
sent from heaven to rescue you from anything.
In fact, if you need “rescuing” from anything,
you’ll have LESS chances of succeeding with
her. When I finally got rid of ALL my neediness
for women’s attention, it helped me so much
because I knew that women were just one
part of life, and that they could not give me
all the other things I value.
No woman wants to be THE MEANING of your
entire life, as if you would be a VACUUM of
nothingness without her, and I mean a vacuum
emotionally, internally, and a vacuum externally,
where you have not developed a lifestyle for
yourself that you find interesting and compelling.
The more unique you are, the better.
Think about the celebrities who captured our
imaginations the most- it was always and is
always the ones who were DIFFERENT, they
were not just carbon-copy cookie-cutter cutouts,
from Michael Jackson to Elton John.
Is it any wonder “Lady GaGa” is currently
smoking out the likes of Britney Spears?
It’s because LG is DIFFERENT.
Green Day, same thing, they aren’t the same
cookie-cutter boy’s band. They are DISTINCT.
So, once you learn how to project your best self,
your unique qualities will then serve you to make
you BETTER than any other guy.
And if you’re reading this right now, you’re
just seeing the tip of the iceberg. To be at your
BEST and put it all into action, it really helps
to get all the DETAILS on what to do, so that
you have an exact PLAN for what to do when
you meet that striking woman, anywhere, and
for what to do to KEEP her interested in you.
The first thing I suggest is that you get my
MASTERY PROGRAM. This program includes
over ten HOURS of my cream-of-the-crop strategies
for approaching women anywhere, and for
skyrocketing your inner game, as well as for how
to KEEP a woman attracted to you long term as well.
It’s at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my book,
“Get A Great Girl”, then do that immediately at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
P.S.
To check out ALL my programs for meeting
and keeping the women of your DREAMS, go to:
http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.html
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