Attracting Women: Truth Vs. Marketing

There's something important I need to
mention today.

I focus on what actually HELPS men
succeed with getting a woman who
is beautiful inside and out, as opposed
to just focusing on being a MARKETER.

Most of what you read on the internet
when it comes to attraction advice and
dating advice is really just marketing that
is supposed to make you think it is dating
advice.

So, what I mean is, the content is all
designed to get your attention rather
than actually help you the most.

By the way, this is not that much different
from most things that are popular today.
We live in a capitalist society, where
anyone is free to sell whatever they
want, as long as it is legal. 

So, this encourages many entrepreneurs
to focus on the SELLING rather than the
usefulness of what they are selling.

What sells is not necessarily what is best
for people.  For example, healthy food
does not sell nearly as well as junk food.
If we were to judge the quality of something
by the amount it sells, the greatest things on
earth would be cheeseburgers, fries, and
soft drinks that trigger diabetes.

Even qualified people, like “Dr. Phil”, if they
want to make it BIG TIME, keep the message
they sell very simple, so as to reach the lowest
common denominator and reach the masses,
and not challenge the masses to push their
own thinking abilities, because boy oh boy,
do most people HATE thinking.

The things I teach are not marketing nonsense.
They are very real.

Let me give you a few examples:

One: Videos of Approaches

There is a tremendous emphasis on videos
of guys approaching women.  The problem
is the videos often involve extreme cases
to grab your attention.

So the marketers know that the more extreme
the video, the more impressed the audience
will be, regardless of whether it is actually
useful.

So, you will see videos of guys making out
with women within minutes of an approach.
The marketer, er, the dating advisor, claims
this is a magical result of his method.  

Except the problem is, these are women who
are either drunk, promiscuous, or acting.

But figuring that out takes some thinking,
and people hate thinking. They prefer to
believe what they want to believe.

As I’ve said before, people don’t so much
“believe what they see” but rather see what
they want to believe.    

Two: Artificial Categories of Methods

Here are some more examples of marketing
as opposed to useful dating advice:

'Daygame. Nightgame. Direct Game. Indirect Game.'

Some folks decided that they can make some
money by creating specialized categories of
“techniques” for attracting women. 

So “daygame” refers to approaching women
during the day, as if women are different 
during the day than they are at night.

What attracts a particular woman doesn't
change depending on the time of day.  

What IS important to understand are the 
differences between individual women, and 
the types of environments you are meeting 
women in. 

So, for example, approaching a woman at a
party or a nightclub allows you to open up
the conversation extremely easily since,
after all, the environment is a social one.

It’s not “strange” at all for her to be chatted
up out of the blue at a party or nightclub.

However, approaching a woman walking
down the sidewalk, or sitting on the train,
or at the food court, takes a little more
finesse to smoothly chat up out of the blue.

In these situations, you have to adjust the
approach and the conversation to make it
less awkward for her to be chatting to a
total stranger out of the blue.     

Similarly, the idea of “direct game” is reflecting
a lack of understanding of how attracting and
approaching women successfully really works.

The idea of "direct game" is that you just tell
a woman you like her right away.

The problem with this, is that it sounds
great and simple, but it can only work
on a woman that is ALREADY attracted
to you, rather than actually TRIGGER
attraction in a woman.    

But "direct game" SOUNDS cool, doesn't it?
And in the world of marketing, style often
is more important than truth or substance.

“Indirect game” is also another marketing
ploy, or in some cases it is even worse, it
is the result of someone who has no clue 
about women. 

The idea here is that you try to disguise
your interest in a woman, so that she does
not resist your approach. 

The truth though is that most of the time,
an attractive woman has a pretty good idea 
that ANY man that approaches out of the
blue is probably attracted to her.

The REAL solution is to simply do
a REALLY GOOD JOB conveying
your personality as opposed to spending
your energy trying to hide the fact you
are actually trying to get to know her.

So the focus is not so much on direct
or indirect, but rather, on developing
the ability to have a conversation that
shows you have PIZZAZZ to your
personality.

So sure, you can be DIRECT, or you
can be INDIRECT, it doesn’t really
matter if you don’t ALSO show pizzazz.
Again, this is about approaching strangers,
who have no idea who you are, so to
overcome the awkwardness of it all,
the pizzazz you exude evens out the
picture, it makes all the “weirdness”
of the situation go to the wayside. 

Here’s another example of marketing
versus what actually helps a guy with
women: Backhanded compliments.

Backhanded compliments are actually
thinly veiled insults.  This got a huge
amount of marketing success because
it tapped into the frustration that men
feel regarding women, that beautiful
women seem to have too much power,
so by being able to insult these women,
the thinking was that this would lower
women’s self-esteem and make them
feel more likely to be attracted to a
man.

The truth, though, is that this kind of
thinking actually ends up WEAKENING
a man’s confidence and weakening his
approach, because the man actually
starts to BELIEVE that there is no way
he can actually generate enough power
on his own to attract a woman, and must
instead revert to slamming a woman’s
self-esteem. 

All that usually happens there is that
women who do have self-esteem will
just end up chewing the guy out for it,
or just plain leave, OR, if the woman
does not have self-esteem, she will get
even MORE upset in the long term and
be obsessed with making you feel even
worse.  Since her self-esteem is so
low, rather than just move on from you,
she will feel the need to make sure you
suffer first and then she will move on.

So, since day ONE, I have never resorted
to these kinds of harmful strategies, even
though I could have easily made millions
from doing this, since I was in the field
before just about everyone else was, and
I saw the trend becoming popular, but
I resisted the urge to sell out because,
again, I just hate b.s.

Instead of b.s. I focus on what is REALLY
important.  For example, if a guy wants to
beat approach anxiety, he will learn the
most powerful method BACKED UP BY SCIENCE
in my programs.

And in my bootcamps, I don’t just tell men
to go approach women. I actually CUSTOMIZE
my training for YOUR personality and your needs.

I teach you how to do the approach in a way
that suits the needs of the woman, of yourself,
and of the particular dynamics of the situation,
whether it is a coffee shop, bus, train, bookstore,
or whether she is with friends or alone.

And here’s something else:
Given the complexity of the REAL skills
involved in being successful with women,
I actually try to SIMPLIFY things to the
level they CAN be simplified, without
“dumbing it down” at all.  

So you get the most advanced and powerful
skills in the easiest possible way to learn.

Most of the dating coaches out there
came after me, and most of them try
to imitate me, my articles, my content,
but they are just parrots saying various
words at different times that don’t
necessarily make sense for the
situation.
 
When it comes time to learn how to
do something, when you have actual
questions, who do you want to train
you? The parrot that just spits out
words not knowing what it all means,
or someone who can instantly figure
out your challenge and give you the
RIGHT solutions?

Whether it is how to approach women,
how to get over an ex, how to determine
if a woman is right for you or not, how to
connect with women, how to build
intimacy, how to unleash your confidence,
how to incorporate humor in a way that
is suitable for your personality, how to
obliterate approach anxiety, how to
keep a relationship going successfully,
or any other dating related issue, I will
give you the absolute BEST as opposed
to just give you more marketing nonsense.

For consultations, bootcamps, and all
my programs, go here:  

http://www.getagreatgirl.com/

Till next time,

Michael Marks

Relationship RESCUE

I have a secret to tell you. There’s a
reason I started “Get A Great Girl”
besides the fact that I absolutely do
believe that a great woman in your life
makes EVERYTHING in your life better.

When it comes to "Get A Great Girl", for
me, it’s personal. Many years ago, I was
in an absolutely horrible relationship, with
a woman that I actually thought I was lucky
to be with. Yeah, I know, it’s crazy but
there was a time I really didn’t know
ANYTHING that was actually correct
about dating, women, and attraction.

I don’t want to play the victim card here,
so I’m not going to go on in detail about
that whole relationship, suffice to say that
when I found the courage to finally leave
it, even though I thought I might never
find someone better, I was pretty BITTER
about women.

I had grown up to believe that women DEEPLY
wanted just one man who would never take
them for granted, one man who would not
cheat on them, one man who would make
THEM a priority.

But after being an emotional punching bag
for a woman for several years, I finally came
to the conclusion that what I had grown up
to believe wasn’t necessarily true.

What really made it hard to NOT be bitter
was the fact that on the surface, this woman
seemed to be perfect. Didn’t drink, didn’t
smoke, super-studious, super-intelligent,
super-disciplined. Plus, she was on track
to an extremely well-paid profession, but
money was never something I really sought
out in a woman anyway.

So, the way I looked at it, was that if THIS
woman couldn’t behave in a way that showed
kindness, decency, loyalty in spirit and in action,
and appreciation, then NO WOMAN could.

It was wrong thinking, of course, but at the time
that’s what I thought.

So, I DESTROYED the part inside of me that
believed the stuff that I had been taught about
women just wanting one man who would
appreciate them.

It was pretty hard, since I really was passionate
about my ideals, but I figured there was no point
keeping FANTASIES alive that had just put me
into nothing but an infinite void of depression,
anger, and loneliness.

Well, the IRONY was that I felt that no matter
WHICH woman I spoke to, there was really
very little to GAIN OR TO LOSE, and in fact
I really had no interest investing my emotions
again.

Now, I still had that natural DESIRE for women,
I just didn’t feel ROMANTIC about them.

I actually really DID feel that “Han Solo” attitude
toward women, where a woman could be a total
stunning beauty, and she could tell me whatever
she thought was her claim to fame, and internally
I felt like, “Yeah, whatever you say, Princess”
SARCASTICALLY.

So OF COURSE, I was not going to kiss up.
Of COURSE I had zero INTEREST in proving
myself. The thought of “proving myself” repulsed
me, because I was not going to do a song and a dance
to impress any woman for the rest of my life no
matter what.

Well what do you know?
This attitude, which was not fake, was making
women very attracted. Approaching women and
not being interested, and not kissing up,and
showing zero romantic feeling, was resulting
in women, gorgeous women, suddenly not only
agreeing to go out with me, but when I would
want to politely end things because I didn't feel
we were compatible, every single one of these  
women INSISTED that I continue to give them
a chance.

Suddenly, my attitude, which was not “fake”
was resulting in me having to WORK HARD
to CONVINCE women to NOT CALL ME.

I went from being a guy who was trying so
hard to CONVINCE a woman to have a few
MINUTES for me, to suddenly having gorgeous
women trying to convince ME why they were
the right ones for me, and why I should give
them a chance, etc.

I had to WORK HARD to get women to
STOP contacting me.

Well, all this REALLY upset me, because
it REINFORCED what the grouchy old men
at the gym used to tell me and the other dudes
about women, and I ALWAYS figured those
guys were just bitter old men who never had
any luck with any women.

But then, it all seemed TRUE.
It seemed like the old advice of “never treat
them well or they will abuse you” and “if
you want to get respect make sure you show
them you’re not interested” was right on.

So there I was, with lots of women, but not
feeling CLOSE in an emotional sense, with
any of them, since, after all, it seemed to me
that ANY TYPE OF ACTUAL CARING
shown by ME would result in LOSING all
this, although to be honest, I didn’t really
care about it that much anyway since without
really feeling any true emotion besides lust,
there really is nothing special going on.

Well, well, well, then something happened.
I met this woman. And this woman, although
human and not a saint and not perfect, was
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY amazing to me.

But I figured she was being that way BECAUSE
of the fact that I didn’t seem to care too much.

But unlike the other women, she seemed to know
what had happened to me, without me saying a
word. And she would keep asking me to stop
being so damn cold, to actually let her know
that I cared about her.

I figured this was all a test to see if I was strong
or if I was going to melt. It actually got me upset
that she was trying to, from my perspective, turn
me into the kind of guy that women, including
her, DON’T want.

Anyway, to make a long story short, this woman
KEPT on trying to give me a chance, but I figured
that this was ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
a big TEST to see if I was a “cool pick up artist
kind of dude” or if I was a “pathetic regular guy
who experiences romantic feelings for a woman”.

This woman, for the most part, was a GIVER.
She was not STINGY with her emotions.

She was a true "family values" person as well.
She had a career, but it was not like she felt
that life was all about, or only about, being a
"career woman".  In other words, she had
not been brainwashed by all the insanity in
our culture.  She knew there were other
things in life more sacred.

At the time though, I figured this was just
an act.

Ultimately, this woman just felt she was not
getting the emotional stuff she needed and
the whole thing crashed.

I was sure I had done the right thing by not
“giving in”, but as more and more time came
to pass, I realized that this woman was in fact
a DIFFERENT PERSONALITY WITH DIFFERENT
VALUES AND PRIORITIES than the other
woman I had been with.

My lack of knowledge DESTROYED something
that was not only GOOD, but was also a very
FITTING match. However, because of my previous
experiences, it negatively impacted my perception
of her.

Great women, women who are not interested in
your money, who are not afraid to give you
unbridled passion and love, women who are
honest and who make you the ultimate priority,
are RARE.

These kinds of women are making a MASSIVE
emotional investment in a man, so it makes sense
that they want to be CAREFUL about which
kind of man they get to know.

They are NOT looking for a player.
They are not looking for a jaded man or
a boring dweeb, either, but they are
certainly not looking for a player.

Since that day many years ago, I have devoted
my life to helping men get the kind of quality
woman that really makes all the difference.

I saw the difference that it made in my own
life, to be able to see the difference in
types of women, and to be able to also
become more SELF-AWARE as to all the ways
we can subconsciously DISTORT reality and
thus SABOTAGE what could be awesome relationships
with fantastic women.

One of the areas I have poured years of work
into is learning how to know when the problem
is with the WOMAN you’ve met, i.e. she is
abusive, versus when the problem is actually
your own perception of the situation or the
actions you are doing.

This was really hard work, because for me,
it started with being truly objective and being
able to see where my own insecurities were
WARPING things, and being able to see
EXACTLY how they were doing these
distortions, and being able to see the TRUTH
about a woman and about myself.

After spending so many years learning about
relationships and gaining the ability to see
various perspectives, I became REALLY
good at knowing when a woman really WAS an
amazing person, and when a woman really
was a taker, abuser, etc.

These things are not that easy to detect because
abusive people tend to be very good at masking
their abuse and making the abused person feel
like it is his/her fault.

What I want to say here, is that if you are in
a relationship experiencing problems, I may be
able to help you RESCUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

I will tell you the TRUTH about the situation.
I will let you know if there is something YOU
need to do to change about yourself, or the way
you are doing things, or if this situation really
is all about the woman you are with, and if she
really is someone you should move on from.

I am very, VERY good at detecting the truth
about relationship situations, and it would bring
me massive pleasure to know I have saved a
relationship that truly DESERVED saving.

And if you are in a truly toxic relationship,
where you really need to just get out of there,
will let you know as well.

By the way, having these skills, and the ability
to understand what is really happening in a
relationship, is in ITSELF massively attractive
to a woman, because it will allow you to be
able to CONNECT with her VERY FAST.

The ability to see things as they really are
in terms of what a woman is saying and meaning
is MASSIVELY important to a woman. She feels
this means not only will you understand her
now and in the future, but also that you will
not fall prey to insecurities that will make
you distort the reality of any future situation
between you and her.

CONNECTION is one of the most
UNDER-RATED yet SUPER SIGNIFICANT
elements of a successful approach, especially
with a really fantastic quality woman.

If you would like a consultation with me about
ANY dating or relationship issue, contact me
by email with a time you would like to speak.

Time is precious, both yours and mine, and
consultations are charged by the hour.

Till next time,

Michael Marks 
http://www/getagreatgirl.com